AN; Just a heads up, long chapter. But I couldn't help it.


Chapter 16: Help Me Polarize

Truth be told, she didn't really need to be here. Callie had a car. It was efficient, spacious, got her from one destination to the other. And, the most important, it was paid off. No monthly payments for three years now. It wasn't the first love of her life, but it did the job. The Thunderbird was still with her, with its own parking spot. She only drove it when she was by herself, or with a friend or two. It wasn't kid-friendly and she didn't want Sofia spilling anything on the upholstery.

This could have been a mid-life crisis, or just a life crisis, but Callie woke up Friday morning and decided that maybe…she should get a new car.

Money wasn't an option these days, and it might have been a little irresponsible. But damn't, Callie was ready for change.

So here she stood, at the dealership on a Saturday morning with Sofia by her side. The girl held onto her mom's hand, staring up at the floor to ceiling windows, the shiny new cars sparkling in the show room.

"Mama are you sure you need a new car?" Sofia asked skeptically.

Callie couldn't help but roll her eyes a little. Seriously, it was like Arizona was speaking to her.

"Well we've had our car for a while now, mija. I feel like it's time for an upgrade."

"Will it have a TV in the back, too?"

###

The process didn't take long at all. Callie went into it already knowing what she wanted, had already researched all she needed to know the day before. It was spontaneous, but still planned. Callie was an adult with a kid, after all. Safety features were a big factor, along with space and necessary features. Including a TV in the backseat.

It took only four test drives before the brunette had made her decision. After a brief goodbye to their old vehicle, Callie was driving out of the lot, Sofia playing around with all the buttons and switches in the back.

"Do you like the new car, Sof?"

"Yep. Can I eat in here?"

"Well, carefully." Which meant, most likely no.

"Okay," Sofia replied, satisfied with her answer. "When's mommy getting a new car?"

Stopping at a red light, Callie looked in the rear view mirror, "Probably not for a while. She just got a car not too long ago, remember?"

After the accident, the two had shared Callie's car. There was really no need to get another one. They were together all the time and went to the same places. Arizona didn't get her own car until they split up. Arizona's car made Callie giggle every time she saw it parked at the hospital, or pulling up at her house to gather Sofia.

It was a powder blue mini Cooper Countryman, and it suited her without a doubt. Arizona claimed it was 'badass' based off the specs and color. Callie still thought it very un-badass and it was in fact, baby blue. It was a long standing argument that would probably never go away.

"I guess," Sofia drawled before perking up. "This reminds me of Miss Natalie's car."

If the vehicle wasn't already at a complete stop, it would have been.

"You've uh – you've been in Natalie's car?" she asked lightly. Not that she had no idea. Callie knew that at some point, Arizona would want to introduce Natalie to their daughter. It wasn't off limits. Penny had met Sofia, they all hung out when it was Callie's days. So it was only fair.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't hit you like a train. This must have been, on some level, how Arizona felt. Things had been over for a long time, so there's that level of maturity and logic. On the other hand, you don't want to feel replaced. It's almost unreasonable, a preposterous thought. Neither woman would do anything to replace the other, they knew that. But still, the thought is there.

"No, just saw it. It's kind of like this, just a different color." She pressed on the gas gently, silently hoping that she did not just buy the same car as her ex-wife's girlfriend.

Because that wouldn't be weird.

"Do you hang out with her a lot?"

Sofia shrugged, "I guess. We went to Trampoline Nation with mommy and she taught me how to do a backflip…and then we got frozen yogurt." She remembered pictures and videos that Arizona had sent her from that day, although none included the neurosurgeon.

"Do you like her?"

"Yeah! She's funny. And pretty. I like her shoes."

"Hmm, she does have good shoes." Which was true, the woman pulled off heels like no other. Callie herself knew that she could rock a good pair of heels, but it was almost not okay every time she would see Natalie walk through the halls in her boots or peep toe's before or after work. She liked her, but that one little fact kind of made her well…still hate her.

"Yep. Mommy just watched and took pictures and ate all the French fries. I wish she could've jumped too."

Callie exhaled through her nose, biting her lip.

"She would if she could, mija."

###

She shook her head, irritated. She knew this was a bad idea. At least, it was a bad idea at the hospital. She was an adult, a surgeon for crying out loud. An image of a disapproving Colonel shaking his head made its way into her mind. The blonde huffed.

"Didn't I just tell you to stop moving?" Natalie asked, holding down the intercom button. "Do I need an orderly to hold you down?"

"This is ridiculous. I don't need to be in here. This is a complete waste of resources."

"You fell. I wanna make sure everything's okay."

It was a very light fall, to be exact. Natalie had taken the whole ordeal seriously. Arizona had simply been skating around an empty hallway down in the basement, the neurosurgeon holding onto her arms securely. Slowly she was establishing more control with her left leg. Well, as controlled as she could be with a prosthetic leg. They had been trying out turns and little loops…and she was getting pretty good.

Until she slipped.

The breath had been knocked out of her to be quite frank. And a sharp pain shot to her tailbone for the first ten minutes. Natalie had responded instantly, asking her where it hurt and conducting a neuro exam within seconds. After assuring her over and over again that she was fine, it was just a simple fall, the brunette proceeded to drag her up to CT.

Where she now was, for no reason.

"My head didn't even hit the ground," she rationalized.

"You still fell."

Arizona rolled her eyes, "I'm gonna kill you."

Natalie hummed, perusing the finished scans. Satisfied, she inserted the scans of the blonde's brain into an envelope and pressed the button that would shift her out of the small tunnel.

"Everything looks good."

Arizona grumbled, sitting up, "If you had listened to me the first time…"

Natalie chuckled, helping the blonde stand, "Are you mad that I wanted to make sure you were okay?"

Pink lips pursed. Okay, it was kind of sweet. And annoying. But mostly sweet…maybe.

"I just…I don't like being fussed over," she grabbed her lab coat. It reminded her too much of before. When people would look at her in pity, or awe. Wondering if or when she would completely fall apart. Whispering with every robotic step she took. Asking her how things were going…as if they cared. They only cared about one particular thing.

"You know when people stop fussing? When they stop caring," Natalie answered.

Arizona sighed, "I'm sorry."

The brunette smirked, "I know. Now let's go, ice cream should calm you down."

"I'm not a child."

"So you don't want ice cream?"

Arizona glared playfully before accepting the proffered hand.

"Only if it's chocolate."

###

"Maybe we shouldn't be doing this."

"Seriously? We're already here."

"It's a bad idea. I need more time. Page her and tell her never mind."

"Not happening. We've gone over all options, like you demanded, and came up with a plan. Stop being a chicken shit."

Callie glared, "I'm not a chicken shit."

Amelia waved her hand, "Yes, you are. What are you so nervous about now? It's just your ex-wife," she snorted, flipping through all the files and scans that they had gone through over and over and over again for weeks now. Briskly she clipped the necessary scans to the lightboxes.

Which was exactly why she was so nervous. She had been here before, many times. And each time, something stopped her. What exactly it was, she couldn't recall now. It felt like a lifetime ago. But this was right. There was nothing left to lose and everything to gain.

The x-ray room door opened, revealing Arizona still in her scrub cap. Callie imagined a deer-in-headlights look on her face, because that's exactly what she felt like. This was not her. She was Callie Torres, freaking badass. But right now, with her hands sweaty and her knee bouncing excessively, she felt scared.

"Hey," the blonde chirped, closing the door behind her. "What's up? You guys need a consult or something?"

Amelia cleared her throat, "Well, kind of…" She chanced a look at Callie, who remained seated with a now blank look on her face. The neurosurgeon rolled her eyes. Clearly she was going to have to do all the work here.

"We have a proposition for you," she continued confidently, leaning against the table.

Arizona blinked, shuffling her feet. "I don't like how that sounds…"

"Calm down Robbins, we're not asking for a threesome," Amelia smirked, tilting her head, "although that'd be pretty funny, considering –"

Blue eyes widened, "Please stop talking."

"Wait, what?" Callie asked.

"I'm just saying it'd be ironic –"

"Amelia," the blonde hissed.

"Whatever," she replied lightly.

"Webuiltyoualeg," Callie exclaimed, shooting up from her chair. It rolled across the room before hitting the wall, the only sound heard in the room aside from the clock. Its ticking taunted them. Making apparent the seconds that continued to go by with no response.

Amelia felt like nothing but a mere bystander. She considered each woman, who considered each other. Callie was ramrod straight, apprehensive, scared. From the outside looking in, there wasn't anything to be scared about. This was a good thing. She had been down from the beginning to help the ortho surgeon get this together. Arizona was her friend too, and this project was started for her in the first place. She wouldn't call it a gift to the blonde, but it was definitely something positive. So Amelia couldn't figure out why Callie was now acting like this?

Maybe it was the silence. She knew this kind of silence, this calm. Perhaps this was the silence Callie had been accustomed to…just before witnessing the thrash and calamity that might have been Arizona's temper. The calm before the blonde unleashed, slicing and dicing with her harsh words and resentful spirit. And she couldn't blame the other woman. Arizona was just as still, her blue eyes colliding with brown. It was like a trance had come over her, like she was looking at her, without actually looking.

Amelia was on the outside, but she couldn't help but see something more intimate and painful between the two than what anyone else could have witnessed.

Arizona blinked slowly, "What?"

Callie licked her dry lips, "I – we've been working on building a robotic leg…for you."

"Arizona," Amelia began, "it's actually already done. Callie's been working really hard on it."

There was a static in the background. She had heard everything they said. But all she saw was a hospital bed in the apartment, sitting in a pool of her own urine, that ugly shattered vase. Alex stabbing her in the foot. Splinting her own leg. The bugs.

"H – how?"

"Moore gave me your measurements from your last appointment," Callie answered quietly. "And it's done. It's," she smiled nervously, "it's perfect."

Blue eyes moved methodically to the lightbox, realizing that they were probably CT scans of her own brain.

"Everything's ready to go. All you have to do is say yes."

"So you thought you'd – what? Build me a leg and set aside some sensors without even asking me first?" She asked icily.

Amelia eyed Callie warily, "It's not like –"

"You just can't leave well enough alone, can you?" the blonde interjected, eyes planted firmly on her ex-wife. The static had now turned into a deep, hot rush through her body. She could feel the pressure behind her eyes, hands balled at her sides to cover up the shaking. The madness was back and she didn't know the first clue how to handle this. There was nothing honorable, or brave for what she was feeling. What she wanted to do.

"Arizona –"

"You built me a leg, without my consent…reviewed my medical file…without my consent. And think that maybe, if you present it with a big shiny bow, I'm supposed to just go along with it? What gives you, either of you, the right?"

"You don't have to agree…just know, that it's there – if you want it," Amelia rationalized.

"It's been tested over a dozen times already with highly successful results. I've designed it so that it looks just like your leg now, only with the sensors they'll be able to respond to the nerves that you have. Arizona this leg will give you a better quality of life."

The blonde chuckled bitterly, "It's always about the leg, huh?"

"This is about you," Callie answered slowly. She expected some resistance or apprehension, but not this level of anger. Maybe some emotional turmoil, but not this; she remembered what this felt like. She never wanted to feel it again. But here she was.

Arizona shook her head, "It's not, it's about you. So thanks, but no thanks." And with those parting words and the sweep of a blue gown, she was gone.

Callie sighed helplessly, her hands dropping to her side. It wasn't supposed to be this way. All the sleepless nights in the lab, sketches, consults with two top neurosurgeons, it wasn't supposed to end like this. They were back right where they started. With the leg.

"That could have gone better," Amelia commented awkwardly, pulling the scans off the lightboxes.

"I need to go talk to her."

"Castro should be getting out of surgery, maybe I should ask her to go talk to her instead. No offense, but she's pretty pissed at us now."

Callie shook her head, "No, I'm not gonna send Natalie to get her head chewed off. I'll go. Just – put her file back in my office?"

Amelia watched the woman carefully, "Yeah, sure." She wasn't sure if it was the best idea, but it would have to do.

###

Air was what she needed. Just a huge, fresh mass of oxygen.

She avoided the interns with their stupid questions, surgeons for consults, nurses greeting her casually. She even managed to snap at her own girlfriend in passing as she made her way up and up and up. Arizona was on complete autopilot. Somewhere along the way her scrub cap was yanked forcefully off her head, the fabric becoming too constricting. Her nerves felt as exposed as a burn victim and the heart within her chest wouldn't stop beating. Everything and anyone else would just have to wait because she needed to go…somewhere. The roof would just have to do.

Chilled air hit her instantly along with the sun that managed to reveal itself today. It made it easier to breathe, and to think. She needed to think.

No matter how much progress she made, or how much time went by, she couldn't get away from it. From the screaming that was so painful and heart wrenching she didn't even notice it came from her own body. The smell of gas and the heat of the fire hitting her skin. Mark telling her that she didn't need him, and to take care of their girls. Waking up and realizing that there was a part of her that no longer existed.

The look on Callie's face when she realized that she committed adultery. Callie telling her that their marriage was a mistake. Callie walking out of that therapist's room.

She even remembered those brief moments when she died. It was like a slideshow of all her happiest moments right before the light presented itself. And then it went away, because she didn't die. But in a way, she did.

Being an amputee was something that she accepted a long time ago. Some days the thought never occurred. It was just how her life had turned out. Arizona was happy with herself now. The nightmares had occurred only a few times, but all manageable with the techniques that she had acquired over the years.

The blonde couldn't figure out why this had affected her so much now. All she did know was that it wasn't okay. It made her mad, and embarrassed, like she had finally been let in on a plan about her own life, Callie leading the way like always.

She needed a cigarette. But even more important, she needed clarity.

She closed her eyes miserably at the faint sound of the elevator to the roof opening. It didn't matter how far she went or how fast. Callie could always find her.

For a few minutes, they didn't say anything. A foot of space separated them. If she closed her eyes and listened hard enough, under the wind in her ears, Callie was breathing deeply. Contemplating. Or maybe waiting.

"You should have asked me first."

"Either way you would have reacted like this."

"You don't know that," the blonde finally turned to face her. "How long have you been conspiring behind my back?"

"Arizona, I wasn't conspiring against you. This is for you."

"No," she shook her head, "I've finally come to terms with how my life is now. Why would you do this?"

Callie looked at her closely. "Why would I try to help make your life better? Because you deserve to have the best. All the things you can't do now will be possible with nothing more than a simple thought. So I just don't understand why you're so mad."

"Seriously? You went behind my back, you brought Amy and Natalie into this. Don't think I don't know how you got those CT scans in the first place."

The brunette sighed, "I met with Natalie to get her opinion on the sensors. Amelia's still new to the project and I wanted to know what she thought, if we needed to change things around or make any adjustments. I told her that I wanted to do this for you and she agreed. Don't be mad at her. I asked her not to say anything. I wanted it to be a surprise."

It was a bitter pill to swallow, but even Amelia had agreed on getting Natalie's opinion. And it had paid off. Callie had never been more inspired and proud of what she built. It was by far the most exciting thing she's done in a long time. So it was kind of hurtful from both a personal and professional standpoint that Arizona was acting like this. Again, she expected resistance, but nothing like this. Like she was doing a disservice by proposing the idea.

"It wasn't your place. I thought we'd move past this, but apparently not. You're doing it, again."

Callie threw her hands up, "What? What did I do but try and help you, to make your life bet –"

"You're trying to fix me, again!" Arizona shouted above the wind. She watched as blue eyed became glassy, a single tear fighting its way through and running down a porcelain cheek. And as she watched that tear fall, it made sense. Everything…it suddenly made sense.

"That's not what this is."

"How? It certainly looks like it. I wasn't enough for you, and you left. And now she's helped you with this. It's never enough for anybody," the blonde shrugged her shoulders helplessly. She leaned against the railing at the thought, staring down at the ground.

And that just wouldn't do.

"Hey," Callie declared, standing in front of the other woman, "You don't get to say that. It's not about fixing you, it's about – running through the park, showing Sofia how to dribble a soccer ball, jumping on a stupid trampoline. I can't change the fact that you lost your leg. But those things…this leg makes it possible to do – all of it."

The thought of doing all those things, she wanted that. She wanted to be a part of that instead of just sitting on the sideline, watching. Wishing.

Callie could still see the hesitation, the animosity. But it wasn't as bad, which made her breathe a little easier. Maybe she was wrong for keeping it a secret from Arizona, but she would gladly accept the blame if it got her to just say yes. And she really didn't want to fix her. Arizona didn't need fixing. Living as close as possible to a normal person, having very little physical limitations, being able to enjoy life, that was what the blonde needed.

"I'm not asking you to go back, only go forward."

Arizona bit her lip nervously. The thought was enticing on some level…but there was that other, larger part of her brain that didn't want to get into that again. This was a wound that had finally healed, as best as it could. Opening it up again and making it something else…she didn't know.

You know when people stop fussing? When they stop caring.

"I don't know, Callie. I don't know if I'll ever be ready."

"Okay," the brunette nodded, taking a few steps back, "you don't need to decide anything right now."

Arizona nodded meekly, crossing her arms over her chest, "Okay."

Brown eyes watched an American flag blow in the wind over by the fire station a couple of blocks away. This was better. It honestly could have gone a lot worse. And she would accept it. Arizona needed time to let it sink it, process and analyze, what she always did. And she might say no, but Callie really hoped she would say yes.

"I'll be by tonight to pick Sofia up," she stated, stuffing her hands in her lab coat about to turn away. "But," she said, "for the record, you were always enough. You were – more than I ever thought I'd get, more than I thought I deserved. And I couldn't give you what you needed, but I can give you this…if you want it."

###

The heel of her boots clacked across the linoleum, along with the beat of her own heart. She flashed a dimpled smile at the concierge manning the desk of the fancy apartment building. He smiled back in return, in recognition. They had met and chatted once or twice, so she had no problem making her way to the elevators. It was late, and the lobby was empty except for a couple at the bar in the corner, sharing what looked like a bottle of wine and various cheeses.

She exhaled heavily, watching the floors move up until she reached her desired floor. She'd been here before, many times, but never under these circumstances. Perhaps there was a first time for everything.

She knocked on the door three times before placing both hands into her back pockets. She was feeling a tad bit out of her element, guilt mixing with her nerves. But she had to do this. It was doing things the right way. Dealing with things the right way.

"Hey," Natalie greeted timidly. Green eyes washed over her face, carefully, apprehensive.

Arizona sighed, "Hey."

"It's late…everything okay?"

"No…no it's not. I just – I wanted to apologize."

The brunette opened the door wider, letting Arizona breeze past.

She had been here before, but each time it almost took her breath away. If she was still single and childless, Arizona would definitely have been living in the building. The kitchen was immaculate and shiny, with various expensive equipment. There was a single dish and glass in the sink and various journals and laptop open on the glass dining room table. The TV in the living room was on, with the volume turned low, on what looked like some mindless reality show. A fleece blanket was folded neatly over the back of a couch.

"Do you want a glass of wine?" Natalie asked lightly, already opening the stainless steel fridge and pulling out a bottle.

"Sure, thanks," Arizona mumbled.

Natalie opened the bottle expertly, grabbing two wine glasses from the transparent cabinet. Blue eyes watched her fill both glasses, and she silently thanked her.

"Come on," the brunette said, opening the sliding glass door to her patio overlooking the city.

This view was exactly why she would have lived here in another lifetime. The space needle was in perfect picture view, with all the various buildings giving light of their own. Cars were gliding around, and every once in a while they would honk. It was a little cold, being so high up, but her jacket was warm.

Natalie crossed her leg under her, sitting in a chair and setting her wine glass on another table that was placed outside. Arizona took a seat across from her.

"Are you okay?"

"No," the blonde sighed, "I'm not. You were just trying to help and I – I got mad."

There was no way around it. She got mad, and didn't give anyone the benefit of the doubt. It was a move that she had done too many times, to too many people that meant something to her. Sometimes when she thought she was fine, that she had moved past the monster she had been, that part of herself came back. And did the same thing, over and over again.

She had avoided the other woman for the rest of the day, and it seemed the brunette didn't make it difficult. The blonde needed time to digest her feelings and thoughts. And then it took another couple of hours of psyching herself up to even drive over to Natalie's place.

"It wasn't an easy thing to do. And I shouldn't have gotten involved. It really wasn't any of my business. So I'm sorry, too."

"You were just trying to help."

"I was. But you should have had an input. I – I didn't think about how you would've felt."

"I shouldn't have just brushed you off. I felt, blindsided. I felt like Callie made you jump on the fix-Arizona train and I just…reacted."

"Arizona," Natalie started, leaning forward, "let's get one thing straight. Callie didn't talk me into anything. She came to me as a professional and told me what she was trying to do. And then she told me it was for you. And professionally, I agreed that this would be a good thing to improve your quality of life. Her asking me to keep it a secret, that was personal, but it wasn't about fixing you. Nobody thinks you need to be fixed. The only person that thinks that is you."

Arizona blinked, slowly shaking her head, "I – I don't think –"

The brunette tilted her head, "I think you do. I shouldn't have agreed to keep it from you. But all Callie and Amelia were trying to do was help you. Not make you relive the most horrible experience of your life."

The immature part of her wanted to roll her eyes. But she didn't deserve to have anyone justify her own actions. Because there was none. There were no words that would describe entirely how she was feeling, why she was hesitant, or mad.

"I overreacted," she stated with disdain. "And that wasn't okay. It wasn't fair to you and Amelia…or Callie. I just, I feel like I can't get away from it all. And seeing the scans and hearing them talk about how it's ready and all I have to do is agree, it made me feel like you all already made the decision, for me." Like she had no control.

Natalie nodded, "I get that, I do. But there were no bad intentions behind it. Callie cares. The woman hasn't left the lab in weeks, she even palmed off all her surgeries to spend more time on it. She asked me about the censors and we tweaked a few things around."

"I know," she rubbed her hands on her jeans, "We kind of had a fight. Or well, I yelled at her." She could see the look on Callie's face. It started out hopeful, even excited, and Arizona had crushed it with one look, just like she always could. It left another bad feeling in her gut, again.

Natalie smirked almost disapprovingly, "Well, I'm sure that wasn't your finest moment."

"When it comes to that part of my life, I have no fine moments. I believe that this would be good, but I can't go there right now, I don't think I can."

"It's a big step," the brunette replied, taking another sip from her glass, "it's a surgery to implant the sensors and you'll have to test it out with a simulator before getting the leg on. But you should still think about it. But only if it's what you want."

"What if I'm never ready? What if the fear of surgery, or going back to that dark place again never goes away?"

"You're alive, healthy, saving lives…I don't see any darkness. Do you?"

###

Callie groaned miserably at the shrill sound of her beeper. She had buried it under a neighboring pillow, but even that couldn't dull the obnoxious noise. It didn't matter how long she had been doing this, she absolutely hated when it went off.

She glared at the page, a request for her to join OR 3. The patient had thought it a good idea to accept a drunken challenge to climb a tree in his friend's backyard during a housewarming party. Needless to say, the guy was not in good shape with a total count of 18 broken bones and fractures. And that was just the ortho side of it. It seemed that general had taken care of anything internal.

Night shifts were either a dream come true or extremely taxing. Usually she'd find a case like this just the thing she needed to get through the rest of her night. But she found her desperate need to sleep hindering that feeling.

Suppressing a huge yawn, the brunette lazily tied her scrub cap just as the elevators revealed the OR floor. The board was somewhat scarce, receiving just emergent cases that had passed through over the last few hours.

She was somewhat more awake by the time she hit the pedal to switch on the sink. Callie might wish she was still in deep slumber, but of course, she had to focus on the task at hand. She wasn't a complete sloth. Scrubbing from her elbows down, she surveyed the room, counting just a few members of the hospital in the room. Anesthesiologist perusing National Geographic and the necessary nurses and surgical residents, trying not to fall asleep despite the low music coming from the speakers.

Callie shot a friendly smile beneath her scrub cap at Linda, who gowned and gloved her. Rolling her shoulders, she exhaled. This surgery would probably take up the rest of her shift if she was lucky.

"Alright, scalpel," she commanded, feeling the cool, sterilized blade through her gloves.

There was a feeling of gratefulness at the fact that she could fix this, help someone. It also didn't suck that she got paid for doing what she loved. But she never understood the complete stupidity of some people. Callie had been drunk many, many times, but climbing a tree never sounded like a good idea, no matter how inebriated she was. Maybe it was a guy thing.

A couple of hours had went by before she really started to get into her groove. Yeah, she was definitely going home to her bed after this. Followed by two days off, which made her relax in relief.

She glanced up at the head of the table before returning to the snapped wrist.

"How bad was his skull crushed?" she asked lightly.

"Enough. He's lucky, that's for sure," the neurosurgeon replied. "Suction."

"Definitely would've been the wrong way to go out."

Natalie chuckled, "Yeah. But he should be fine, we'll have to see when he wakes up in post-op. Not sure how fine he's gonna be when his wife gets ahold of him."

"How much longer do you got?"

"Oh probably…the rest of my night," she answered, turning to Linda and requesting a playlist switch.

The rest of the surgery continued on without any complications. Callie's beeper and phone remained silent on the table off to the side, thankfully. And twentyone pilots had helped to keep her sharp the rest of the way through. Natalie got another point in her book for her taste in music.

Even Cross managed to not fall asleep standing up, again. The first time it had been the snoring that had given him away. Thankfully he was just observing. She seriously questioned sometimes how that guy even made it through med school.

The two surgeons wrapped up around the same time, giving strict instructions to their residents before scrubbing out.

"How much longer do you have in your shift?" Natalie asked, grabbing a sponge packet.

Callie glanced at the clock, "Ten minutes, barring another emergency. If my pager goes off, I will cry," she added bluntly.

"I know. I'm going to talk to the family, check his pupils, then I'm out."

"I'm not getting out of bed until tomorrow night."

Natalie groaned, "I wish I could do that. I have a cooking class at 3."

The comment made her laugh. It seemed that a certain blonde was still into those classes. Ever since Arizona and Mark bonded over cooking, it was something that she had kept up with. She had stopped at one point…but then she started dragging Callie to them again. A part of her thought it was Arizona's way of coping with the loss of Sofia's dad. Or maybe it was just something to keep her busy when she had free time but she liked to think the latter.

"Is it your first one?" she asked after a few moments.

"Yeah."

Callie smirked, "Good luck. Arizona gets grumpy if she doesn't get it exactly like the teacher's."

Natalie grabbed a dry towel, running it over her arms and hands. Callie felt the neurosurgeon's eyes on her as she dried her own hands. It was easy to be friendly around other people, or in a professional setting. But here, with the two of them, it became awkward, fast. It seemed like no matter what they talked about, it all came back to the same thing. Or the same person.

"She's thinking about it, you know."

Callie eyed the other woman cautiously, "She is?"

"Yeah, she's just – well she's scared."

"I'm sorry, for dragging you into it."

"You didn't drag me into anything. You asked me my opinion, and I wanted to help in some capacity. Keeping it from her, maybe it wasn't the best way to go about it. But she'll be okay. I just think she needs some time to get used to the idea."

"Yeah," Callie sighed, "I know. I just wanted…I wanted to do something good. And I feel bad that I made her feel that way." Again.

"You care," Natalie replied, throwing the towel and her mask in the waste bin. "You did it because you care. She'll come around."

The ortho surgeon exhaled, nodding her head in agreement. She smiled, "You care too. We both do." Perhaps she just had to give Arizona that time, and one day she would tell her she was ready to move forward.

Natalie hummed quietly, so quietly that Callie almost didn't hear it. But when she looked up, the other woman was still in the scrub room, holding the door open. She was smiling too, with a shade of emotion that she couldn't quite place at the moment. It was a small smile, with a spark of something else behind the emerald green eyes.

"I know."

It was a simple agreement, but to both women, it suddenly felt like so much more. Callie slowly raised her head fully, examining the eerie woman more carefully.

"Goodnight, Dr. Torres."

She wasn't quite sure what happened, or when the mood suddenly shifted. But there was a protective, almost possessive energy coming off the other woman in waves.

It didn't happen right away. She changed and left the hospital to go to her own place. Ate a cold slice of pizza before collapsing in her cold bed, Natalie's eyes haunting her with a simple but strong warning.

But eventually, it poured out of Callie too.