Spring 1982
Marlene walked up to stone monument where her childhood home used to be. It was a goal she'd set forhelf with her mind healer, and she was seeing it through.
The bodies of her 2 brothers, her sister Grace and her parents, had been consumed by fiendfyre. There was nothing left to bury. But she wanted… something. So this was what she did.
It was her land. She could have built a new home on it. She still could. But she wasn't ready to think of that. She was pleased with the way the statues had turned out. They looked like themselves. Kind. Loyal. Fiercely committed to the light. Gawain, of all of them, had died a hero. Taking one of his killers down with him in attempt to give his still living sibling the opportunity to flee. Marlene hoped he saw her get up and run before he died. She wished she could thank him. She supposed this was the best she could do now.
"So you guys are all dead and I'm not. It sucks. And I'm here talking to a bunch of carefully shaped rocks I had made. But that's all I've got so I'm going to do my best."
She looked to the two littlest statues. Her niece and nephew who never got to grow up. The Bones family had already been killed prior to the massacre, and their bodies were buried with the other members of her brother-in-law's family. But she made them part of this monument because it was her monument anyway and she felt it was right.
"I still think of you guys all the time. I can still cast a patronus thinking how much fun we had together. Thank you. For giving me that."
She stood up and looked at the likeness of the children's mother. Her sister Elaine had been her greatest role model and fiercest support. Marlene often felt lost without her.
"Elaine, I had so much more to ask you. I don't know how to be a grown witch. You were meant to teach me. Every day I catch myself wanting to firecall you for advice. I give myself talks in my head in your voice. It's not quite the same. But I hope you'd be pleased that your voice is still looking out for me."
She felt the tears falling down her cheeks. She hated it. She'd shut off emotionally as a defense against it. But her mind healer always said that she needed to go through feeling the emotions before she could move on. She'd do it, but it didn't stop her from hating it.
"Gawain… you may have saved my life. So thanks. I'm sure if you'd lived you'd have continued to be a pain in my arse. But you were my brother and I love you. I miss you more than you'd believe. Thank you."
"I wanted to tell you all that I got married a few months back. To Sirius. Obviously. Who else? I wanted to tell Grace and Lucan that I told them so when we went up to the ministry to retrieve our marriage license. But… you're dead. So now I'm crying at some rocks."
She looked to the two statues in the middle. Her parents. They'd been the kindest and most accepting parents she could have asked for. They taught her what it really meant to be loyal. The truest Hufflepuffs of their generation. She hoped they'd be proud of her, for the hard work she was putting into this whole process.
"Mum and Dad I wish you could have been there. It wasn't even really a wedding. No one to walk me up the aisle. There was no aisle, come to think of it. But I'm glad you got to know Sirius and I know you loved him. You saw that he was good to me. You knew that much. ...he was out looking for an engagement ring the night of the massacre. It was an exhausting process to get from there to here, but… we did. We got married. You may now call me Mrs. Black. Except that none of you can call me anything… and this really sucks. I miss you."
She had to pause. She felt sobbing tears coming on and she took a breath to try and make it through the things she'd wanted to say. Her mind healer told her it might help her to talk to them, and she intended to give it her best effort.
"You'd all be happy to know I'm not alone. I have a family of sorts. There's Sirius of course. And our god-son Harry. Dumbledore's still got him living with these awful muggles but we're fighting it as hard as we can. We see him as much as possible. He's going to grow up knowing where he came from and knowing we love him."
"And then there's Minerva McGonagall of all people. She's sort of adopted us. And Mad-Eye. If it weren't for Mad-Eye Sirius would be serving life in Azkaban for something he not only didn't do but tried to avenge…it's a long story. But thanks for Mad-Eye Edgar. He's crazy but he's family now."
"I hope.. you guys would be proud of me. I'm trying. That Hufflepuff persistence…"
"Maybe next time Sirius and Harry can come too. Until then I guess…"
She laid down a sunflower she'd brought. Sirius had always asserted that she looked like a sunflower. She wished it were true. She looked like a witch who was barely keeping it together. She looked a mess. She'd come to think of it as her flower now, nonetheless. The sizable seed head surrounded with bright yellow petals made for a nicer flower than the sad looking roses and Calla lilies that people often left at graves and monuments. The sunflower looked more hopeful than anything else for miles and miles. That might not have been what she felt like at the moment but it was what she aimed to be.
