Rocket pulled out his awesome rifle and marveled over the handiwork. "This is my favourite blaster, son!" he remarked.

"That gun is not that righteous," Peter said as he emptied a whole bag of Cheetos into his overly-smoochable face.

"That's just your opinion, pleb," Rocket retorted. "As you can see, I have harnessed the galaxy's greatness within!"

Groot charged into the room on a motorcycle and ran over the lord of stars and the trash panda. "I am Groot…" he bellowed.

"NO GROOT!" roared Rocket. He kicked the motorcycle and it exploded into eleven separate pieces of faith and moral guidance. Groot took the lesson to heart and wisely obeyed.

"I can't believe that all the Cheetos have been consumed!" gasped Peter as he shook the last bits into his mouth. "I need coupons!"

Drax came in with the newspaper. "It has yet to be used as a wiping product!" he roared. He then slammed the paper onto Peter's wholesome tush-tush.

Peter opened up the newspaper and studied it. "My rear indicates hope!" said he.

Gamora waltz in with a box full of cheese-flavoured tuna. She set it down in front of the four dudes. "Pick one, or else we will fail life horribly."

Peter took the red one. Drax took the pink one. Rocket took the blue one. Gamora took the yellow one. Groot took none of the leftover fish.

"Why do you refuse the tuna?" asked Gamora.

"I am stinking Groot," replied the towering legend.

Rocket began to laugh uncontrollably and then stuck the fish's mouth on his gun. He pulled the trigger and the fish puffed up due to the air pressure.

"Cease your foolishness, knave!" cried Drax.

"I love bein' a turtle!" cheered Rocket as he made more and more explosions within the fish's belly.

"This madness cannot be quelled, but at least my hotcakes are still oozing excellence," stated Peter gleefully, without remorse.

Gamora studied the studly booty. "Yes, it is a suitable vessel of hope."

"I think the same," said Drax. He took out his camera and filmed a documentary about Peter's charismatic flingmakers.

Meanwhile, Rocket was making his fish expand to the size of a small moon. It was so big, that Thor docked on it and claimed the celestial body in the name of his dad's beard.

"What's up with that dude?" asked Peter with another intelligent wiggle of his captain's quarters.

"That's no dude… That's a space station…" Drax said with wide eyes of awe.

"I am also a space station!" cried Peter as he stuck two toothpicks into each toe and walked around the room to accentuate his hotness like real pros do.

Rocket got mad and used his tongue to karate chop through all of the toe toothpicks. "You may only eat sandwiches, fatboy!"

And so, Peter gained the ability to fatten up and he became a turkey. The family of extraterrestrial misfits then celebrated Thanksgiving because that's the real American dream!

FIN