It was times like these that she really missed the Bus. Right now, all she wanted to do was get a cuppa and sit in her favorite chair - the overstuffed green easy chair she and Fitz had found at a thrift store their second year at the academy and had shared ever since, literally dragging it onto the Bus when Coulson was distracted.
If she were on the Bus right now she'd be sitting in that chair, lightly blowing on a hot cup of tea, watching the world fly by beneath them. She'd relax at the scenery and let her mind wander, slowly letting herself calm down as she logically sorted through whatever was worrying her.
But this wasn't the Bus. And she didn't have the chair - which was probably still on the Bus, now that she thought about it.
Just one more piece of her relationship with Fitz that had been cast aside, never to be revisited.
So Simmons did the only thing she could to escape while at the base - she made a cup of tea, studiously avoiding Fitz's concerned looks in the kitchen as he of course had long ago learned how she behaved when she was working something over in her mind, and excused herself to the laundry room.
It wasn't glamorous by any means, but it was the one place on the base she had found rarely got any use on an early morning, and it had a window that overlooked the small lake behind the base.
Softly closing the door behind her, Simmons slid on top of one of the quiet washers and took a sip of her tea. The sun had just begun to rise and she admired it in silence, taking another sip. Frowning at the chill in the air - they didn't bother adding climate control to this room, making it another reason it was so rarely in use - Simmons set the tea down so she could wrap the cardigan she wore tighter around her body.
Now. To the matter at hand. Time to reason out why she had felt the need to escape the team.
She was upset because Fitz had lied to her. She knew he was lying the moment she found his data on the tablet. He'd never lied to her before. And now she knew that he had been lying to protect Skye.
Simmons didn't know what upset her more: the lie or the fact that he had done it to protect Skye.
Hunter had casually mentioned walking in on the pair arguing in secret and Simmons had been surprised how painful hearing that had been.
So it was time to identify the problem. Was it the fact that she and Fitz now lied to one another? Or the fact that he was keeping secrets with Skye?
Skye, the woman whom he had obviously had a crush on just last year. Simmons hadn't really been bothered by his infatuation at the time, but now she found that it bothered her quite a bit.
The idea of Fitz liking Skye really, really bothered her.
Why was this? Simmons contemplated, taking another sip of tea. The obvious answer was that she liked Fitz, but she wanted to be completely certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her feelings were real. Because if she ever acted on them and it turns out she had been mistaken…
She could never do that to Fitz.
So, did she fancy Fitz, or was she simply jealous of seeing him give another woman attention? Admittedly, she was the only woman he'd ever shown attention to, the only one he'd ever had secrets with, the only one he'd ever broken rules to protect. Simmons had long been comfortable in the knowledge that she was Fitz's number one priority - but hearing his tearful confession on the bottom of the Atlantic had added another layer to that security.
She was the one he loved. She was the one he would die for. She was the most important person in his life besides his mother.
Was she simply angry that their time apart had shattered those truths? Uncomfortable seeing him now have a shared camaraderie with someone other than herself? Angry that her status in his life may have dropped a few points?
She couldn't blame him. She had been gone for a long time, and it's not like things had been great between them since her return.
Or… Was she just jealous because she liked Fitz and it pained her to see him do something that may indicate he had gotten over her?
Was it time for her to finally admit that she liked Fitz back and could even see herself falling completely in love with him?
As Simmons continued to ponder this, a soft knock at the door started her out of her reverie.
"Jem - Simmons?" Fitz's hesitant voice called as he quietly opened the door.
The biochemist turned to look at her erstwhile best friend, standing hesitantly in the door. He was wearing a navy blue cardigan with a gray stripe along the outside. She always liked it when he wore cardigans, but this one was her favorite - it brought out the blue in his eyes.
Fitz was twisting his hands together, studying a place on the ground slightly in front of her. He was so cute when he was nervous.
Oh. Well, that answered that question. Skye was nowhere in sight and Simmons definitely was thinking more-than-friendly things about Fitz.
"I just came to see if you - Jemma, what's wrong?"
Fitz's tone, abruptly changing from hesitant to concerned, forced her to break out of her reverie.
"Hmm?" She asked, confused. Why was he looking at her like that?
"You're cr-crying."
"Am I?" Simmons asked, surprised. She reached up and touched her cheek, surprised when her fingertips came back wet. "Oh!"
"So… Can I… Is there anything…" Fitz said, not quite sure how to proceed. "I know you were upset this morning," he started slowly.
"Oh, Fitz," Simmons sighed, smiling through her tears.
Fitz's hands froze and his eyes shot up, boring into hers.
Now it was Simmons' turn to be surprised. "What -"
"I… Ah… It's just been a long time, that's all. Since you said that. I didn't know if I'd ever hear that again," he said quietly.
The thought made Simmons smile even more, but brought more tears to her eyes. They were getting better. It was going to get better.
Still, there was one thing that was bothering her…
"Skye doesn't get exasperated at you the way I do?" She teased, instantly hating herself the moment it left her lips. What was that. What did that even mean. Why in the world would she mention…
Fitz laughing interrupted her thoughts. "Oh, Skye gets angry with me, alright. I expect most people with a lower intelligence than ours can find conversations with us frustrating. But it never bothers me. She's just like Coulson and May - families fight but they forgive each other, you know?" He just shrugged, unaware of the burden he had just lifted off of Simmons' shoulders. "Only bothers me when you're upset."
Simmons sniffed, wiping her tears as she smiled at the man before her.
"Why, Fitz?" She asked quietly.
The engineer paused for a long time, wringing his hands together, then placed them on his hips and stared at Simmons, seeming to have come to a decision. "You know why, Simmons," he said quietly.
Oh. "Oh, Fitz," she sighed again, this time sliding off the washer and pulling him in for a hug.
The move obviously startled her friend, as he stood motionless for a moment before putting his arms around her.
The pair stood there for a long while, enjoying the moment and reveling in the comfort that came from their familiar closeness.
Finally Simmons broke the hug, pulling back with another sniff as she wiped her eyes. "Thank you, Fitz."
He just smiled and nodded before turning and walking down the hall. He had absolutely no idea what had just happened, and he still didn't know why Simmons had been upset, but he couldn't shake the feeling that they had broken through some sort of barrier. They were going to be okay.
Simmons watched as he walked down the hall, the inescapable truth suddenly hitting her:
She loved Fitz.
