May, 21, 2011
Wow. two chapter's in one day. Aren't you proud of me? And doesn't the title just make think SO HARD about what it's about?
Ron, Hermione, and Neville were eating lunch in the Great Hall, all of them suffering from a terribly boring day. Ron was scarfing down his food, while Hermione played with the food on her plate. That was when Neville noticed a snowy white owl flying gracefully towards them. "Look, it's Hedwig!" He pointed out.
"Harry sent us a letter?" Hermione asked, her mood brightening up already.
"Hawwy?" Ron said with a mouthful of mashed potatoes.
"Honestly Ron, swallow before you talk." Hermione said
Ron swallowed, the hot food streaming down his throat "H-Harry?" he croaked.
The snowy owl landed on the table, gave the letter to Ron, took a bite of his toast then flew away. Ron ripped the letter open, obviously shocked at what he saw.
"I think Harry's….."
"What is it Ron?" Hermione asked, a mug of pumpkin juice in her hand, the Prophet in her other.
"Harry's gone mad! Look at this! I can't even read the letter properly! It's covered in ink hearts!" he yelled, causing the entire Hall to look at him. Neville took the letter from him and skimmed through the contents.
"It must be some type of code! Maybe Harry's trying to tell us something that he doesn't want the Ministry finding out about?" Neville exclaimed.
Ron and Hermione started laughing. "The Ministry obviously didn't think this was a dangerous letter. They would have figured out that Harry simply started...getting distracted?" she said, eyeing the drawings on the paper in awe.
"You know Neville, there's a reason why we're called wizards, and these wands we have, they're not for hitting a piñata." Ron said
"That sounds like something Fred and George would say." Hermione told Ron
IN JAPAN
Fred and George sneezed at the same time. They looked at each other curiously then smiled.
"What?" Harry asked
"Looks like someone's gossiping about us." They said
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. We learned from anime that whenever someone sneezes randomly, it means that someone is talking about you."
"That's a pile of rubbish." Harry said, raising his brow
"It's an actual Japanese superstition. Are you making fun of your girlfriend's culture, Potter?" they asked ferociously.
GOING BACK TO ENGLAND
Ron and Neville were dumbfounded as the ink hearts floated off of the page. Hermione truly was a genius when it came to magic. "There, it's finished." she said, rather proud of her work. She handed the letter back to Ron, feeling it was rude to read it herself as it was sent to him in the first place. He read it first, twitching slightly when he began, then read it aloud to the both of them. Hermione felt slightly special about being mentioned in the letter.
"Figures….of course Harry would get a girlfriend before me." Neville slouched. Hermione patted his back.
"Blimey, Neville! Don't you remember? He went out with Cho last year!" Ron pointed out.
Hermione shot him a poisonous glare. "At least Neville got to dance with someone at the Yule ball. The person he asked by himself." she spat. Neville felt a little bit better. Ron twitched when he remembered that he himself never asked Padma Patil to the Yule ball. He didn't even get to dance with her.
"You and Krumpet were distracting us." he said plainly, then went back to his food.
"Was that Harry's owl we saw flying away?" They heard Seamus' voice ask, Dean right behind him. The two of them sat down at the table, curious as to what was happening. Ron and Hermione nodded.
"Already? Blimey, what's he got to say a couple days after he got to Japan? Did he get married, or-?" Seamus stopped talking when Ron shoved the letter in his face, making him read the first sentence.
"That slimey git." He sat down and slouched.
Dean patted his back "Don't worry mate, you'll get a girlfriend."
Luna skipped over to the Gryffindor group.
"Is something the matter? Oh, is it that Neville and Seamus have been exposed to a Deep-Depression charm?" she asked
Seamus handed her the letter. She read it with what looked like super reading mad-skill speed, the handed it back to Ron.
"He's just in denial. The Nargles are everywhere. Oh dear, it seems Harry is utterly..what's that Muggle term…"Lovestruck"." She said happily
"What are you idiots going on about?" said a cold voice from behind the group. "Your loner friend Potter write you a letter?" he laughed
"For your information Malfoy, Harry's got a girlfriend and he hasn't even been in Asia a week. You've been here how long, and haven't even had your first kiss yet." Ron sneered. The group heard "oooh's" and "you gonna take that, blondie?" from the other tables.
"Better learn to respect your superiours, Weasle-bee." Malfoy retorted, his ears turning pink.
Nevville looked at the envelope and noticed the edge of another piece of parchment. "Hey, there's something else inside." He took hold of the folded scrap and unfolded it, revealing a sketch of a girl with short brown hair and chocolate brown eyes and a boy with messy black hair and green eyes that were behind a pair of round spectacles. His arm was around her shoulders, and his free hand was holding hers. Her cheeks were a light shade of pink, and she was smiling softly. Unlike wizards pictures, the sketch was perfectly still, but it was still obvious that the two characters cared for each other deeply. Nevville stared at the sketch for about five minutes before Hermione cleared her throat.
"Are you going to let us see, or should I cast a full body-bind curse on you again?" she said. Nevville turned the picture around, showing it slowly to the group. ESPECIALLY to Malfoy. Everybody's mouth went wide.
"She's…so…pretty…" Hermione choked out.
"Why does Harry get all the pretty girls?" Ron whined.
"It's truly a magnificent drawing. Who knew Harry was so artistically inclined?" Luna said "Hard to believe she has to pretend to be a male at school, with eyes that big." The rest of the group nodded. Seamus slouched in the bench again.
"I hate him." He muttered. Dean patted his back.
A drop of drool was making its way out of Malfoys mouth. He quickly wiped it away. "I'm still better looking than her." Malfoy walked away. "And at least I don't have an asian girl-fettish!" he yelled.
"You get back here and take your beating like a man, coward!" Ron yelled through the Hall, his fist in the air, earning a few laughs from the kids watching.
"It's the 19th of October right?" Dean asked.
"Yeah. Why?" Ron asked
"I've got detention all week with Snape thanks to Seamus." Dean said
"I didn't think it would actually blow up!" Seamus complained.
"Um, Isn't Snape's class Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Hermione asked
"Yea. But this idiot left a dungbomb in his pocket and got shot with a spell. Then it exploded miraculously, and now we've got detention all week because I tried to get him out of it." Dean snorted. Seamus pouted.
"Are we all going to write back to Harry?" Ginny asked. Everybody jumped back.
"When'd you get here?" Ron asked
"I've been here." She replied. "Well, I've got to go anyway, me and Edmund," she said clearly, looking at Dean, who immedeatley went stiff, "Are going to be studying for our Charms test next week." she said before quickly walking away from the group.
"Stupid git with his stupid muscles and stupid hair." Ron cursed Edmund under his breath.
"It's okay. You'll look like that someday." Hermione said reassuringly
"I doubt it. Ron's much too flimpy, his skin is too pale and his hair is too nappy." Luna said
"F-Flimpy?" Ron asked
"Yes. Flimpy." Luna said
"I completely agree" said a tiny voice. A small creature with a human like body, but pointy ears and Elven clothing appeared on Luna's shoulder.
"Brownie?" Hermione asked. Luna nodded.
"This is my new friend. I met him in Care for Magical Creatures." Luna said."Andras, these were my friends that I was telling you about." Andras had straight black hair and narrowed his crimson red eyes at Ron.
"Not Andy. Not Drassy. Andras." He said
"Andras….You're Welsh?" Neville asked
"Smart Ki- Whoa, whoa, whoa!. Who's the cutie in the picture?" Andras asked. He jumped gracefully onto the table and held up the picture of Harry and Haruhi, his face glowing in delight. "I think I know her… My Master had me spying on her family for information on humans." He said and licked his lips as he looked at Haruhi. "She's certainly grown up to be very beautiful… I think "Haruhi" was her name… Oi, who's that with his grubby hands all over my beloved?"
"That would be her boyfriend." Luna stated
"Excuse me?"
"Her boyfriend. The one that isn't shrimp sized." Ron snorted
There was a puff of smoke, and what used to be a tiny woodland creature was now a tall, handsome woodland creature. He had the same hair, same eyes and same pointed ears.
"You were saying?" Andras asked. Ron stared at him in awe. "Well, I'm going to Japan. Take care, Luna. Tell Hagrid I said "thanks'' for the bag of walnuts."
"Will do, Andras. Be sure to say hi to the boy in the picture for us if you see him in Japan."
"You're leaving so soon?" Hermione asked
"I've to meet up with my bride-to-be."
"You're engaged?"
"Not exactly, my maiden is obviously under a curse, and has fallen in love with some douche bag." Andras said, and scratched his head.
"Douche bag?" Ron and Neville said curiously.
"What an odd insult.." Luna told him.
Andras rolled his eyes. "You guys really have to get out of the country more often."
"Umm, there's the small issue of money." Ron said
"You're wizards for crying out loud! You have stick thingies that do things!"
(Perverted readers out there start cracking up)
"They're called wands, thank you very much."
"Besides, we're all underage. We can't apparate in Hogwarts, we can't do magic outside of school-" Hermione started
"Ah. I forgot that the wizards in this country have such harsh restricitions on the young." Andras sneered. He waved goodbye to Luna, and disappeared.
"You think they have Brownies in Japan?" Seamus asked
"Probably." Ron said
"Then maybe there are wizards in Japan too, that Harry could go to for help on his quest." Hermione stated
"Quest?" Dean asked
"It's nothing. Really." Ron said with an innocent smile
"Shouldn't you two be heading to class now? It's nearly 12:30." Hermione pointed out. Seamus and Dean looked at each other suspiciously before walking together to History of Magic. Although a very old ghost, Proffesor Binns was irritable when it came to student arriving late to class.
I was thinking about this when my science teacher was talking about plant cells and stuff...
Can plants have sex? Because really, they can reproduce, so isn't that kinda like having sex? I don't mean physical sex...but if no other plants are involved...doesn't that count as masturbation? SO THAT MEANS PLANTS HAVE TWO GENDERS! O_O
Have I just made the biggest discovery of the century?
