Chapter 4 - Breaking Bad
Most of the guests had dispersed, except for a few stragglers. Garth and Bess had gotten a sitter for the little ones and they were standing by the bar now, reminiscing with Bobby. Jody had led Frank by the hand over there and introduced the werewolves to her husband, and Frank was eyeing Garth warily. There was something familiar about the guy and his wife that Frank couldn't quite put his finger on. Jody didn't bother to enlighten him. There would be time for that later, when they weren't at a Hunter's funeral.
"Well, I guess I'll be going. Whenever you're ready, Cas," Nicole said quietly. She put her hand on Gail's arm. "I'd like it if you guys still came to the premiere. Sam too, if he's up to it. Maybe God will be good, and we can even have an extra Angel there."
Gail's lips pursed. Poor Nicole. She had no idea. Then again, neither did Gail, really. But they'd better get on it, so they could find out, one way or the other. She took Cas's hand. "Excuse us for a minute," she said to Nicole.
She pulled Cas aside. "Do me a favour. When you take Nicole home, spend a bit of time with her. I think she could use the comfort."
Cas was surprised. "She seems all right to me," he remarked.
"People frequently cover up their grief," Gail insisted. "She's clearly heartbroken, but she's trying to be brave about it. At least have a cup of coffee with her, or something. Talk about the movie. Think about it; she's going back to an empty apartment, and the movie is wrapped. I just want to make sure she's OK."
Cas hugged his wife. She was so sweet, always thinking of others. "What about you?" he asked her softly.
"Me? I'm fine. I've got all these people around me. I'll be just fine. Now, go," she said, making shooing motions. Cas looked at her for another moment, and then he kissed her on the forehead and led her back to where Nicole was standing.
Gail hugged Dean's girlfriend. "If you need anything, just call us," the Angel told her.
"Give Sam a hug for me," Nicole said. "I'd do it myself, but I can understand why he had to go inside. It was a lot for him to take, today."
Then Cas took Nicole's hand and popped them out. The only people that were left now to see that were Angels, or humans who knew about the Angels, so there was no stealth necessary.
Gail popped into the bunker. "OK, Cas has taken Nicole home, but I'm not sure how much time we have," she said to Sam. "So, like we talked about, I'm pretty sure we can get all of the ingredients but the one from the storeroom, or at your buddy's occult shop."
"Yeah, but it's the one we're missing that worries me," Sam said. "How the hell are we supposed to get that?"
"I don't know," Gail replied, making a face. "I'm still working on that. If I have to get help, which I probably will, I'll go see Crowley, and find out how high the price is. Then, I'll pay it."
"Crowley?" Sam exclaimed. "Are you sure there isn't another way?"
Gail looked at him impatiently. "Do you know of another guy besides my husband who has the ability to go back to Creation?"
"I don't like it, Gail," Sam said, frowning. "It's bad enough that we're doing all of this behind Cas's back. Now you want to involve the King of Hell?"
"No, I don't WANT to, Sam, but I'll probably HAVE to," she said tartly. "Unless you can look in all those books over there and conjure up another person who was there at the start, I'll just have to bite the bullet, won't I? He thinks I owe him a favour already, and maybe I do, since he did end up helping us out with Lucifer. He wants Rowena dead. If I offer to do that for him, maybe he'll help me with this."
"Rowena?" Sam echoed, puzzled. "If he wants her dead so badly, why doesn't he just kill her himself?"
"Funny, I asked him the same thing, and he got all prickly on me. If you can imagine that," Gail said wryly. "Who the hell knows? And, who cares? The bottom line is, if that's what it takes to get him to help us, I'll do it."
Sam was uneasy, but he nodded. "OK, Gail. But please, promise me you won't get in too deep with Crowley. He is who he is. Just don't forget that, OK?"
She nodded absently. "Yeah, yeah. I know, Sam. OK, I'm going to go back outside and start helping to clean up. You get in that library and see if you can find anything, anything at all, that'll get us that bone on our own. Okay?" She kissed him on the forehead. "Look, I know this has been a horrible few days for you, but let's keep our eyes on the prize, Sam."
Sam nodded. She was right. It was time to marshal all the brain power he had, and focus it on getting Dean back. Gail popped out again and Sam rose from his chair, moving over to the library shelves.
Chuck stood in the hallway, stunned by what he had just overheard. Ingredients? Crowley? Rowena? What the hell were Sam and Gail cooking up? Whatever it was, they were doing it behind Cas's back, obviously. Oh, this was not good. Why on earth would Gail ever let herself get mixed up with something like this? There was only one answer he could think of: it had something to do with Dean. His mouth fell open. That had to be it. Some kind of a revival spell, maybe? What a wonderful notion, if it would work. But, Crowley? Rowena? Sneaking around behind Cas's back? If they were doing this without Cas's knowledge, it must be because what they were thinking of doing was wrong, somehow. Chuck thought about what he should do next. Should he tell Cas? But, Gail was Chuck's friend, too. She had stuck up for him when many others wouldn't give him the time of day. Didn't he at least owe her the opportunity to provide some kind of an explanation?
That decided him. Chuck would talk to Gail, the first chance he got.
An hour or so later, when everyone had left and all the cleaning up had been done, Gail couldn't wait any longer. She passed by Sam and gave him a gentle nudge from behind.
"I need to get some groceries," Sam said aloud, sitting up straighter in his chair.
Cas looked at him, puzzled. "Groceries?" he repeated.
"Yeah, Cas. Food," Sam said. "I need some healthy foods. Salad. Maybe some fruit. Dean and I only really ever ate junk."
Cas couldn't believe it. They'd just held Sam's brother's funeral, and now he was talking about shopping for food?
"That's my fault, I guess," Gail said casually. "I was nagging Sam to eat something, and he told me there was nothing in the house but booze." She paused. "I'll go with you, Sam. I need something to do."
"All right, we'll both go with you, Sam," Cas said. "I need something to do, too."
Gail shook her head. "No, I need you to do some other things. Can you see if Frank or the guys need any help packing? Then you'll have to take Barry and Tommy over to get their rental car, and then go to Frank's house. And then, you're going to go up to Heaven and file the official paperwork for the election, right? Remember, we talked about that? So you see, you've got lots to do. I'll pop Sam over to Frank's place as soon as we get the groceries put away."
"All right, my love," Cas said, nodding.
Gail kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you, sweetie. Tell those guys we'll see them in a little bit. Come on, Sam." She grabbed Sam's hand and winked the both of them out of the bunker before Cas had a chance to say anything more.
Sam and Gail walked into Huddleston's shop. Gail hadn't been sure what to expect, but to her, it looked pretty much like a natural foods store, maybe a place where you could get some holistic medicine. In short, it looked like a place where Sam might actually shop for food.
Huddleston came out from the back. "Hey, Sam," he said affably. "Long time, no see."
"Yeah," Sam said shortly. He took the list out of his pocket and placed it on the counter. "Here's the stuff we need. Can you handle the order?"
Huddleston scanned the list. "Should be no problem," he said matter-of-factly. "A couple of these things don't come cheap, though."
"Doesn't matter. Bag 'em up," Sam said.
Huddleston looked at Sam curiously, and then he looked at Gail. "Who's this? Your girlfriend?"
"Fill the order," Sam said, frowning. "I'm in a hurry. I'm not here to socialize."
The proprietor's eyebrows raised, but he made no retort. "Wait here," he said tersely, going to the back of the store.
"Not exactly best buddies, are you?" Gail said to Sam.
Sam shrugged. "Not exactly. But he knows what he's doing, and he's got the stuff in stock. That was the most important thing."
Gail nodded. He was right about that. With any luck, they'd have everything they needed, except for that one thing, by the end of the day. She walked through the store idly, wondering how Cas was doing with his assignments.
Nobody had needed any assistance packing, but Cas had helped to transport Barry and Tommy to the rental car place, and then the three of them had driven back to Frank and Jody's house.
"When Gail and Sam get here, I'll put out a few snacks, and we'll have a couple of drinks together," Jody told Cas. "I agree with Gail on that score; we've got to make sure Sam eats, and gets some sleep. She said you guys will look after him."
"Of course we will," Cas said, puzzled. "But what about you and Frank? Won't you be looking after Sam, too?"
"We'll talk about that when Sam and Gail get here," Jody said. "Now, weren't you going to Heaven? Go do your thing, and when you get back, we'll all talk."
So Cas had ascended, and he went straight to Laurel.
"Cas! It's so great to see you!" Laurel exclaimed. Then her smile faded. "I'm so sorry about your friend, though. Chuck told us all about it. But, quite frankly, Metatron won't be missed. In fact, I know of a few people who were pretty happy about his passing. But the main thing is, Lucifer's finally gone. You're a hero, Cas. You all are. Where's Gail?"
Cas briefly explained the situations they were dealing with on Earth. "Anyway, I'm here to request the paperwork pertaining to the election," Cas informed her.
Laurel's face lit up. "You're going to run in the election? Why, that's wonderful, Cas! As far as I'm concerned, it'll be just a formality. I can't imagine that anyone could oppose you."
"You can't?" Patricia said from behind Cas. She approached the two of them at the desk, regarding Castiel coolly. "I suppose thanks are in order," she said to him, without any inflection in her voice. It was funny, really. Spontaneous parties had been breaking out in Heaven ever since they'd gotten the news that Lucifer was no more. Even Patricia's heart had leaped, and her face had broken out into a rare smile. But an instant later, she realized that it really didn't matter. What had happened to her, what Lucifer had done? Well, it wasn't going to be un-done now, was it? She was still ruined. And now, the scenario she had feared was coming to pass. The instant that Castiel had vanquished Lucifer, he was here, seeking to be God.
"Well, it just so happens that I'm here for the very same purpose," Patricia told Laurel and Castiel.
Cas's eyebrows shot up. "You're running, too?"
"Yes, Castiel," Patricia said calmly. "Surely you don't have a problem with a woman seeking the High Office? If you do, I imagine your wife might have some things to say about that."
"No, it's just...I was surprised, that's all," Cas said weakly. But now, he was starting to panic. This had been unexpected. Quite frankly, they had anticipated that this would be a formality, only. Cas didn't really aspire to be God, but now that Dean was dead, Cas had to become God, in order to free Dean from the Garden, if he was there, and then assign their friend to Earth. Only God had the power to do those things, and Cas had to do that for his friend.
"May the best man - or woman - win, then," Patricia said now. "I have a vision for Heaven, Castiel. It's my personal opinion that some of the laws need to be changed, or tightened up, at least. We've been a rudderless ship for far too long. I'm running on a 'Heaven First' platform. That'll be my slogan, and our Mission Statement, going forward. Now that Lucifer is gone, we have to get our own house back in order. Therefore, my first order of business, should I be elected, will be to cancel all of the assignments to Earth."
Cas's heart stopped. She couldn't be serious. It was as if she had read his mind. He stared at her speculatively. For a while now, Castiel had felt that there was something wrong with Patricia, something off. And now, she was saying that if she became God, no Angel would be allowed to go to Earth in the future? That would be unacceptable, of course.
"What's the matter, Castiel?" Patricia asked him. "If you're running for the High Office, surely you must agree that Heaven should be our priority. We're Angels, not humans, insomuch as our behaviour should reflect. I'm sure you'll get a lot of votes, Castiel, but I also know that a lot of Angels are concerned about your continued absence from Heaven. It may very well be that we're ready for a change. It may very well be that Heaven is ready for a female God."
She was looking at him with the tightest of smiles now, and Cas got the message. But if she thought he was going to back down, she was very much mistaken. In fact...
"You may very well be right," he said to Patricia in a thoughtful voice. Then he looked at Laurel. "So, I will take two sets of papers, then."
"Two?" Laurel asked, wrinkling her forehead.
"Yes, two," Cas confirmed. "One set for myself, and one for Gail. Heaven may very well BE ready for a female God."
Patricia looked as if Cas had slapped her right in the face. So it was going to be like that, was it? Well, they were asking for it. There was no way Patricia would ever allow that little slut to take the High Office. The thought of Castiel being God was bad enough. If either one of them were to win the election, Heaven would descend into the Pit.
Laurel was uncomfortable now. She had long considered Patricia a friend of hers, but Laurel also liked Castiel and Gail very much. She was becoming afraid that this was going to turn into a divisive issue for Heaven. For the umpteenth time, Laurel wished that Bobby was still here. But she dutifully got the paperwork out. Patricia took hers, gave Castiel one more look that he couldn't quite interpret, and then she left without another word.
Cas stood there for another moment with the two sets of papers in his hand. How was Gail going to feel about this? He'd thrown her hat in the ring without discussing it with her, first. But he was fairly sure she would be OK with it, once he reminded her that it was for Dean. Besides, Cas didn't view Patricia as that much of a threat. He was simply looking to put Gail's name on the ballot as a backup. Sort of like splitting Aces, in Blackjack. If there were any Angels that specifically wanted to vote for a woman, they could vote for Gail, then, thereby taking those votes away from Patricia. Gail was a heroine, just as Cas was a hero. She had been a brave and equal partner in Lucifer's demise, and Cas would be happy to remind everyone of that fact. But frankly, Castiel didn't think it would come to that. He was Heaven's longest-serving Angel, the one that God had offered the job to in the first place, and he had led the team that had eradicated Lucifer. He was more than qualified for the High Office. That wasn't Pride; it was simply the truth.
Cas said goodbye to Laurel, and he winked back to Earth.
"OK, is it just me, or does some of this stuff look like it belongs in Knockturn Alley?" Gail quipped. She had picked up a bag of what looked like scorpion tails, and she was looking at it with distaste.
Sam burst out laughing, but the sound felt so inappropriate to him that he stopped immediately. Until he had Dean back, he shouldn't be laughing. He couldn't be laughing. Still, he blessed Gail for making him do it, even for a second.
Huddleston came out with their order in a box. "Do you want those scorpion tails, too? I can give them to you for half off."
Gail looked at him. "Just out of curiosity, what are they used for?" she asked him.
"Aphrodisiacs, mainly," he said matter-of-factly.
She was bemused. Yuk. If it came down to that, she would rather just cuddle. So many jokes were trying to escape from her mouth. How she wished that Frank and Dean were here. They could make risque jokes about occult sex shops, and the guys would tease her that she'd better stay away from those scorpion tails, because the last thing she and Cas needed was an aphrodisiac. Her eyes prickled with tears, but she blinked them away. This had to work. It just had to.
She and Sam double-checked the items on the list. Huddleston packed them up, Sam paid him, and then they left the store.
They dropped the ingredients off at the bunker, hiding them in Sam's closet. Then Gail quickly winked them over to Frank and Jody's house. Fortunately, Cas had just gotten there himself.
"I want to propose a toast. To our wonderful friends, Barry and Tommy," Cas announced. He looked at the men. "We want to thank you both for all the help you gave us. We all love you very much."
"You're welcome at the bunker any time," Sam told them. "Please, keep in touch."
"We'll be seeing you both at your wedding," Gail said, putting her arm around Barry's waist. "And if you need me or Cas to help you, just give us a call."
"How are you holding up, Sam?" Tommy asked Dean's brother quietly.
Sam shrugged uncomfortably. He was starting to feel the weight of the guilt of deceiving their friends, too. "As well as can be expected, Tommy," he said.
Tommy pulled Sam in for a hug. "I'm so sorry, Sam," he said in a choked voice. "We all loved Dean."
"I know," Sam said, patting Tommy on the back. "I know." Then Barry came forward to hug Sam, and the process was repeated.
Then there were hugs all around, and a few tears were shed, but the mood was much more somber than it normally would have been. Dean should have been here, teasing them about going back to Canada, the land of weirdly polite people, and suspicious-looking money.
Rob came down the stairs, carrying a suitcase in one hand and his laptop in the other. "Ready," he said.
Cas, Gail and Sam looked at Rob quizzically, and then at Frank and Jody. "That was one of the things we were going to tell you," Jody said. "Rob's going to stay with Barry and Tommy in Vancouver for a while. He's going to get a part-time job until the fall, and then he's going to enroll in high school there."
Gail was astonished. She looked at Frank, but he was expressionless. What the hell?
Rob put his bags down in the hall by the front door, and then he walked up to Sam. "I'm really sorry," he said to Sam in a low voice. "I liked Dean a lot." Rob was looking down at his feet, shuffling them uncomfortably.
A lump started to form in Sam's throat. Rob had grown quite a bit by now, but he was still a boy, and he had been through so much. Sam knew that Rob had been acting out from time to time, but so had Dean, when he and Sam had been growing up, and Sam and Dean had been through less heartbreak than Rob at his young age. Everywhere Sam turned, Dean's absence was being felt. If his brother was here right now, he could sit down with Rob and have a chat with him, possibly giving the boy advice on how to deal.
Suddenly, Rob put his arms around Sam's waist and hugged him tightly, and then, Sam lost it. All of the grief he'd been suppressing came out as he hugged Rob back, and he started to sob, his hair hanging in his face.
Gail's heart hurt for Sam. She moved forward and put her hand on Sam's arm. "Let me take you back to the bunker, Sam," she said softly.
"I'm sorry, Aunt Gail," Rob said immediately, backing away from Sam.
"No, it's not your fault, Rob," she said quickly. "Everybody grieves differently. This sucks for everyone, but it's not your fault. No one is blaming you."
"Before you take him away, we need to say goodbye, too," Frank told his sister.
"What? Why?" Sam said, wiping his tears away with his shirt sleeve.
"Frank and I are going to take a bit of a vacation," Jody told him. "We're going to take the car and just drive around for a bit." She put her hand on Sam's other arm. "But if you need us, you just call. OK, Sam?"
"OK, Jodes," he said. Jody hugged him, and then so did Frank. Frank held on for an extra minute. "We mean it," Gail's brother said sternly. "If you need anything, anything at all, you call us. Day or night. I'm gonna miss you, man. My other brother from another mother." He kissed Sam on the cheek, and Sam was so surprised and so touched by the gesture that he started to cry again.
"OK, that's it. Let's go," Gail said to Sam, separating the men. "Barry, Tommy, don't leave just yet. I'll be back in a couple of minutes." She looked at Cas. "Please stay here. Get Frank a drink, or something. I'll be right back."
Then she popped Sam over to the bunker. "I'll keep Cas busy for a while," she told him. "I'm going to get the spell book from where I hid it. Then, you can check off the ingredients we bought, and then get the others from the storeroom. Make sure we've got everything else, and then hide the book here, somewhere. I think we're OK now. Cas doesn't suspect anything." She grabbed his face with her hands. "Please, Sam. I know it's hard, but we have to focus. Please."
"How do you do it, Gail?" he asked her.
"Do what?" she asked. Although she was pretty sure she knew.
"Keep from losing it?" he replied.
"Sam, if I lose it now, I'll never, ever be normal again," she told him. "If I start crying now, I'll never be able to stop. I'd better get back." Then she popped out, and a moment later, Sam walked down the hall to his room.
Gail winked into Heaven's library. "Chuck?" she called out.
Chuck stuck his head out from underneath the front desk. "Oh, hi, Gail. What do you need?"
"Have you got an empty journal book I could have?" she asked him.
"Sure, Gail. I'll be right back." He left the front desk and went to his office in the back.
She moved immediately to the shelf where she had left the spell book. She had pulled out one of the oldest, mustiest books and shoved the spell book behind it, then left the old book sticking out a bit. She'd thought it was a pretty safe gamble. The last person to check that ancient textbook out of the library had probably been Noah, or somebody from his time. And, sure enough, the spell book was right there, where she'd left it.
Chuck came out holding the journal, and he eyed the book in her hand, eyebrow raised. "You want me to check that out for you?" he said evenly. "Or, should we just have Cas sign it out?"
Gail made a face. "OK, so you know. You're not seriously going to tell him, are you?"
"Give me a good reason not to," Chuck said calmly.
"Because he doesn't approve," she replied.
"Well then, shouldn't that tell you something?" Chuck said, his voice rising. "Consider the source of that book, Gail. That's the same woman who gave me that stupid Eiffel Tower sculpture, in Paris. The same one that sat right here on this desk, poisoning me systematically, making me want to kill Cas, and...well, you know."
"I know that, Chuck. But the spell in here works, and we're doing it." She moved over to the photocopier and lifted its lid, plunking the book face down. She copied the last two pages, several times.
"What are you doing?" Chuck asked her, coming around from behind the desk.
"I'm taking a few copies, just in case," she retorted. "If you rat me out, and Cas gets his hands on this book, I'll still have copies of the spell."
"She's an evil witch," Chuck persisted. "She's Crowley's mother."
Gail grabbed the copies she'd made and started to fold them. "I know all that, Chuck. And I don't care. We're getting Dean back. We can't do without him. I can't do without him, Chuck. Neither can Sam, and neither can Cas. What happened to Dean wasn't fair. He needs a do-over, and Sam and I are going to see to it that he gets it."
"What about Cas?" Chuck asked her.
"Why does everybody keep asking me that?" she exclaimed, exasperated. "If it works, he'll be overjoyed."
"What if it doesn't?" Chuck said.
"I don't have time to argue with you," she said tartly. "Please give me the journal. And, do me a favour? Give me a heads-up if you're going to tell Cas, so I can hide these." She stashed the pages in her pants pocket and held her hand out for the journal.
Chuck gave it to her. "I sure hope you know what you're doing," he said to her, shaking his head.
She laughed shortly. "So do I."
Then Gail popped out of the library and back to the bunker. Sam was sitting in the library area there, assembling the ingredients they'd bought on the table.
"Here's the book, and here are some photocopies I made. Hide them all, in different places," Gail instructed him. "Photocopies? What for?" Sam asked, puzzled.
"Chuck knows," she said bluntly. "I don't think he will, but just in case he tells Cas, I wanted to have some backup. I'd better go. I'll see you soon." She left the copies and the book on the table, then winked out again.
Sam frowned. This was starting to feel really underhanded. But they had to bring Dean back, or at least, they had to try. Sam couldn't stand to be without his brother much longer.
He hid the photocopies in various spots around the bunker. He even dug a hole out back and buried one in the ground in a metal coffee can, just in case. He'd seen it in a movie once.
Then he checked the ingredients and their quantities against the list in the spell book, and then he checked it again. They had everything now, except for the ancient item.
Sam went to the bookshelves, but instead of filing the spell book where he normally would have, he filed it under "P" on the shelf, facing the wall. If a person were to be looking casually at the bookshelves from the library area, the book would not be seen. But Sam had picked the letter "P" for a reason: he was thinking of the short story by Edgar Allan Poe, called The Purloined Letter. In that story, the letter the detectives were searching for wasn't found, because it was hiding in plain sight. He smiled grimly. Dean would have mocked him, calling him a nerd, or a bookworm. How he longed to be mocked again.
Sam picked up the ingredients and brought them back to his room. The bunker was eerily quiet. When was the last time Sam had been here all by himself? He couldn't remember. Under ordinary circumstances, he probably would have welcomed the peace and quiet. Ever since he could recall, there had been so many combinations and permutations of humans and Angels bustling in and out of here that he had taken the noise and activity for granted. But now, it was too quiet. Their family was breaking apart. Apparently, Dean had been the glue that had held everyone together. Or, maybe it had even been Lucifer.
Sam lay down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. After a minute or two, he began to cry silent tears again.
"Is Sam all right?" Cas asked Gail when she returned to Frank and Jody's house.
She gritted her teeth. If he asked her that one more time..."He's resting," she said tersely. She looked at Rob. "I brought this for you," she told the boy. "It's a journal. You can use it for whatever you like. Record your thoughts, or any story ideas you may have. You can even write down any premonitions you're having, if you want. The journal's one of Chuck's. That's what he does. Then, you can either share whatever you put in there, or burn it. Whatever you want. It doesn't have to be a curse, Rob. It was a double-edged sword for me too, sometimes." She put her hand on Rob's arm. He had grown so much in the past year that he was taller than she was now. "But, I'll tell you something. The sweetest memory I have of having my abilities was when I met your Uncle Cas for the first time. My psychic ability was what made me able to tell what was going on with him, and my healing ability enabled me to make him better." She smiled at her husband, and he smiled back. That was one of his sweetest memories, too. The first of many. "So you see, it's not all bad. There can be an upside to having special talents, too," Gail concluded.
Rob looked expressionlessly at Cas, and then back at her. He accepted the journal, murmuring his thanks, and then he left the living room to pack it in his bag.
Tommy put his coffee cup down. He'd had one beer with Frank, but then he had switched to coffee because he was going to be the one who was doing the driving. They were going to take their time. Tommy had talked to one of his reporter friends, who was heading overseas for a long-term assignment. He had a two-bedroom condo that he was going to lend to Barry and Tommy to live in while he was away. There was the second bedroom for Rob, and best of all, Tommy's friend wasn't going to charge them any rent, as long as they looked after the place. Frank had quipped that with Barry and his chore jar system, the place would probably look better than he'd left it, when Tommy's friend came back.
"We'd better get going," Tommy announced. I want to get in a few hours' driving before it gets dark."
They all looked at each other sadly. Their friends had to get on with their own lives, but it was going to be so strange not having them around. And now, Rob was going with them, while Frank and Jody took off by themselves.
The group drifted out onto the porch to see their friends off. The men took their bags to the car as Cas said, "I'd like to talk to Rob for a moment. I won't keep him long." He took the boy aside.
"I know you're very upset with me," Cas said to Rob softly. "I know that you blame me for many of the ills that have befallen you and your family."
Rob was uncomfortable. Was Cas psychic, too? "It's complicated," he mumbled.
"Yes, it is," Cas said briefly. He continued to look at the boy.
Rob heaved a sigh. "I don't blame you, Cas, it's just...I just wish..." He stopped talking. Geez, for a guy who thought he was a pretty good writer, he was sure blowing this.
But Cas was nodding. "Believe it or not, I understand what you mean," he said in a thoughtful tone. "There are many things that I would change if I had the power to do so."
"OK, well, I'd better go," Rob said to Cas. He stepped off the porch and walked down to where the car was parked at the curb. Jody was there, helping the men load their bags. Then she hugged them again and gave Rob a kiss. Then Tommy drove off.
Gail was standing beside Frank and Bobby on the porch. Frank stood stoically, watching the car drive down to the end of the street. Then it turned around the corner, and then, it was out of sight. Only then did Gail see a tear squeeze out of the corner of Frank's eye and dribble down his cheek.
Gail didn't understand any of this. Lucifer was gone now. Wasn't that what they had worked so hard and sacrificed so much for? It was safe for Rob to go out now. He could get a job here, and go to school here. So what the hell was he doing getting in a car and going to Canada? Leaving her brother? Were things really that bad?
"I want to talk to you for a minute," Gail said to her brother as Jody walked back up to the porch.
"Let's go inside," Jody said to Cas and Bobby. "Give them a couple of minutes."
Cas threw Gail a concerned look, but Jody grabbed the Angel by the arm and took him inside the house, Bobby trailing behind.
"Explain to me what's going on here," Gail said angrily.
Frank turned to look at her. "You're a smart cookie. I thought you would have figured that out."
"Well, let's just pretend I'm stupid," she snapped.
"You're not too old for me to pop you one," Frank said warningly. "And the mood I'm in right now, it wouldn't take much."
"I'm sorry," she said contritely. "I don't want to fight with you, Frank. But, I'm confused."
Frank sighed. "I had to let him go, Gail. It's for his own good. He needs to be exposed to a different world, one without murder, and blood, and tears. So I asked Barry and Tommy if they would take him, and I encouraged him to go. He's gonna get a summer job, 'cause we told him he's not a child anymore and he's got to contribute. Tommy said he might be able to get Rob an internship with the paper. Then, he'll go to high school in the fall. He's gonna have a normal life, Gail. I'm seeing to that. He can go to the mall, and meet other kids his age. Maybe meet a girl. A nice, normal life. He's going to have the kind of life that none of us got to have. But it's ripping my heart right out of my chest, especially after we just lost Dean, so for once, just shut your yap. OK?"
Gail gave him a tearful smile. "OK, Frank. OK. I'll shut my big yap." She put her arms around his waist and hugged him, and he hugged her back.
After a minute, she pulled out of the embrace. "So, you and Jody are going on a vacation?" Gail asked her brother, trying to lighten the mood. "Where?"
Frank glanced furtively towards the house. "Actually, don't freak out, but that'll depend on what Jody's doctor has to say." He explained to his sister how Jody had been feeling. "I'm pretty sure it's nothing, but I just want to make her take care of herself a bit more. She's the most important person in my life. You know what that's like, don't you, kiddo?"
That stab of guilt again. Yes. Yes, she did.
"If the doctor says it's stress-related, which I have no doubt that it is, I'll send you postcards from wherever we end up," Frank told her. Then he tried on a smile. "But if you think I'm praying to you guys, you're dreaming."
"Just wait till Cas is God," Gail teased her brother. "I'm going to give him a list of my childhood grievances, then sit back and let the smiting begin."
Frank laughed softly. "Thanks for the laugh, kiddo. I needed that."
"Things will get better, Frank," she said quietly. "They have to."
"Well, they sure as hell couldn't get much worse," he remarked. Then he gave her another hug, and then they went inside the house.
So now, Gail had something else to worry about. Jody had to be all right. She just had to be. There was no way any of them could take any more heartbreak. No way.
She, Cas and Bobby had said their goodbyes to Frank and Jody, who had driven off into the sunset. Then the Angels turned to Bobby. "Are you going back to the bunker?" Cas asked him.
Damn, Gail thought. She had forgotten about Bobby. She and Sam needed to be alone at the bunker, to talk about the spell. Once she had verified that they had all the necessary ingredients except for the one, they were going to have to decide on a plan to get it.
But Bobby bailed her out. "No, I'm gonna take a walk for a while. You said Sam was resting, so I'm going to let him rest."
"Where are you going to go?" she persisted.
Bobby regarded her coolly. "You're a little too young to be my mother, aren't you?"
"I just meant..." Gail started to say, but she couldn't think of a way to finish her sentence.
Bobby took her hand. "I appreciate your concern, dear, but I'm a grown man. Don't make me say it's none of your damn business."
Cas opened his mouth to speak, but Bobby held up his hand. "Leave it, Cas. Just...leave it." Then he turned around and walked away.
Cas and Gail popped over to their house. It was full night now, so they undressed quietly and got into bed. Cas was in his shorts and Gail was in one of her nightshirts. Cas put his arms around her automatically, and the Angels lay silently together. Normally, they would be making love, but neither of them felt particularly amorous right now.
After a few minutes, the silence was starting to get to Gail. "Do you want to watch some TV?" she asked her husband.
Cas thought about that. He supposed so. He had been acutely aware of the silence also. But what could they possibly talk about? There was only one subject that was preoccupying them both, but he didn't have the heart to talk about Dean right now. He sighed and reached for the remote.
But everything that was on TV reminded Cas of Dean, in one way or another. Every actor on every show was good-looking, with nice eyes and an easy smile. There was a show about classic cars the reminded Cas of how Dean was always teasing him about his lack of knowledge about "cool" cars. There was a commercial that featured a character named Captain Obvious. That must be where Dean had gotten that from.
"I miss him so much, Gail," Cas said in a shaky voice. The tears were falling from his eyes now, and his arms tightened around her.
Somebody had punched a hole in her chest and reached in there, grabbing her heart and strangling it with all their might. How could she possibly be expected to go on, enduring this kind of pain? How could Cas? Or Sam? Or any of them?
She kissed the tears away from his face, took a deep breath, and said, "What happened in Heaven? Did you get the paperwork?"
Cas sniffled back his tears, collecting himself. That had been exactly the right thing to say to him at this point. Cas had to let her know what had transpired, and what he had done.
So he sat up straighter and told her about his conversation with Patricia, and the fact that he had taken a second set of papers for Gail. Then he waited for her reaction.
But she didn't really have one. Gail was obsessed with the spell right now, and how they were going to get that last ingredient. Besides, she thought it was a done deal: Cas was going to be the next God. Patricia was dreaming.
"OK, I'll fill out the papers tomorrow," Gail told her husband. "But right now, I want to go and check on Sam again. He's there at the bunker all alone now."
"I thought you said he was resting," Cas said.
"Yeah, but he's probably not going to be able to sleep, Cas," she said. She kissed her husband on the cheek and scrambled out of the bed. "I just need to check on him," she repeated. She opened the bureau drawer and took out some underclothes. "If he's sleeping, I'll come right back."
Cas was astonished. What was she doing? Didn't she realize that he needed her, too? But then he felt ashamed of himself for that thought. That was selfish. He and Gail had each other. Sam was all alone now. "All right, I'll get dressed and go with you, then," he offered.
"No, you stay here," Gail said to Cas, pulling on her clothes hastily. "I'll be back really soon." She strode over to the bed and kissed him on the forehead, and then she winked out.
Cas sat there, open-mouthed. What had that been all about? Had he said something to make her angry? But she hadn't been angry, she had just been...what, exactly? She had told him to stay here. That wasn't the first time she had ordered him to stay away from the bunker recently. In fact, it seemed as if she had been trying to get rid of him, ever since...No. It couldn't be.
Cas got out of bed and began to dress.
"It's not a bone," Sam said to Gail.
He had been sitting at the library table, studying the spell book again. They had both looked at the ingredients numerous times, but apparently, they had both read the most difficult one incorrectly.
"What do you mean?" she said sharply, hurrying over to where he sat to take a look.
"We read it wrong," he told her.
Gail looked eagerly over his shoulder. "Really? Well, that's great!"
"Not so great," he said dryly. His finger pointed to the ingredient in question, and Gail's face fell.
"Not a bone; blood," Sam said glumly. "And not just one sample, but two. One from Cain, and one from Abel."
Gail swore viciously. Great. How in the hell were they supposed to do that? She asked Sam this now.
"You're asking the wrong person," Cas said.
Jody couldn't stand it anymore. She and Frank had barely spoken since they'd gotten on the road. They were both heartbroken, of course, but this was ridiculous. There was no way she was driving all the way to Sioux Falls with a big fat elephant sitting in the front seat between them.
"Pull over at the next exit," she told him. "I need to find a drugstore. I have a splitting headache."
It was the worst argument that Cas and Gail had ever had, and neither of them even really knew why they were having it, because the subject of the argument was something that they both wanted more than life itself.
"You lied to me, and went behind my back," he said, tight-lipped.
"I had to," she insisted.
"How could you do this, Gail?!" he exclaimed angrily.
"How could I not?" she countered. "We need Dean back, Cas! Look at how messed up things are without him! We're all miserable, and our family is broken apart. We're getting him back, Cas."
"By using black magic?!" he roared. "I forbid it!"
She laughed harshly. "Yeah? Well, let me know how that works out for you! Just how do you propose to stop me?"
"I'm going to take that book and destroy it, as I should have done in the first place," Cas shot back.
"Fine. And while you're doing that, I'll be at the house, packing my things," she said.
Sam gasped, and the two Angels fell silent, staring at each other.
"You don't mean that," Cas said quietly. "You can't mean that."
Gail had actually shocked herself speechless. She didn't, did she? She approached him, trying to find the right words to tell him how she felt. "I miss him so much I can't stand it," she told him softly. "Every second of every minute of every day. Don't you?"
"Yes, of course I do," Cas answered quickly. "That's not the issue."
"Yes, it IS the issue! It's the only issue that matters!" she exclaimed. "He didn't deserve to die, Cas!"
"I agree, but it was God's edict," Cas replied. "His Will."
"Was it?" she retorted. "Are we absolutely sure about that? Lucifer wrote those Tablets, Cas! He said so himself! How do we know that he didn't put that part in there just to stick it to us?"
Both Sam and Cas gaped at her. That thought hadn't occurred to either of them. It actually hadn't occurred to Gail either, not until she began her rant. But now that she had Cas's attention, she went on: "Maybe God is trying to give us the loophole, here! Think about it. Why would Rowena have given Bobby that spell book in the first place? And then it ends up here in the bunker after we get it back from Aurielle in the cabin, and then, Crowley tells me that my blade says I have the ability to perform magic spells! Why would God give me a supposedly evil skill like that if He didn't intend for me to use it to revive Dean? That's the only explanation that makes any sense! A spell is only evil if it's done with evil intent. This one will be done for love."
Cas thought about what she was saying. He was extremely conflicted now.
"None of us will ever be happy again until we bring Dean back," Gail said softly. "We need him. Please, Cas. Please."
Cas looked at his wife, then at Sam, then at the book on the table. "I need a minute," he said, winking out of the library.
Jody came out of the drugstore. She went around to the driver's side of the car. Frank rolled the window down.
"I'm hungry," she told him. She pointed. "See that restaurant over there? I'll meet you there in a minute."
Frank looked at her. "Ummmm...okay," he said, wrinkling his forehead. Why didn't she just get in the car? But she was already walking towards the place. He shook his head. Women. He put the car in Drive.
Cas was standing out in back of the bunker, looking at the spot where they had burned Dean's body. Or at least, what he'd thought was Dean's body. It was full dark out now, but the light that Sam had installed outside the door was programmed to switch itself on when it got dark, and it was shining now, affording illumination.
It hurt Cas that they had gone behind his back like that, but he was thinking now about what Gail had said. He had to admit that there was logic to her argument. He had been going on the premise that they were following God's wishes by following the instructions on the Tablets. But, what if Gail was right?
She'd also stated that a spell was only evil if it had evil intent. But was that just a rationalization? One could justify any number of things in the name of love. But Gail had also said that this spell would be motivated by love, and he knew that nothing was more honest and pure than their love for Dean.
The Rom fortune teller had told them that Gail's use of dark magic was going to split them apart. But they were in control of their relationship, weren't they? Was Cas prepared to lose everything he had, everything that had ever mattered to him, on a principle that might turn out to be a fallacy? If only their Father would send him some kind of a sign. Or had He already done so?
Cas called Gail on their frequency, asking her to come outside. When she appeared, he looked sadly at her.
"You and I have spent some of our best moments out here, and yet now, we have endured our worst," Cas said to her. He took a deep, shaky breath, then let it out. "Every time I close my eyes, you are the face I see. Each time I take a breath, it is for you, my darling, that I breathe. And every time I look around, my eyes search for you. You are my whole world, Gail. If you feel so strongly that this is the right thing to do, I will not oppose you. If the spell is to be done with love, let it be done with the love we have for each other. I will do anything that you and Sam need me to do to bring our brother back."
Gail ran to him and put her arms around him. "Thank you, sweetie. I love you so much," she said, clinging to him.
Cas held her tight for a moment, and then he said, "Let's go back inside and figure this out, together."
A couple of minutes later, Cas's cell phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the Call Display. "It's Frank," he told Sam and Gail. He answered the call, listening for a moment. Then he told Frank where he and Gail were, and who they were with. "Do you want me to put you on Speaker?" Cas offered. He pushed the button and put the phone down on the library table.
"Frank? What's going on?" Gail asked her brother.
"I have something - " Frank started to say. Then, silence.
"Frank? Are you still there? What's happening?" Sam asked, his forehead wrinkling.
"I have something - " Frank said again, and again, he stopped. Gail looked at Sam and then at Cas, wide-eyed. She realized her brother was crying. Oh, no. God, no. Please.
"Frank, for God's sake! Please tell us: what's the matter?" Gail exclaimed. Cas looked at her, alarmed.
"Jody's pregnant," Frank told them.
