It was another two nights before Ollie had to claim Connor for the night again. Cassandra was grateful, she felt bad enough about her dismissiveness toward Lupe. If she was going to remedy the situation, she wanted to do it on her own. She had another long walk to the shop and another chance to mull over what had become of her life. She wasn't even sure what made her feel so desperate to apologize, but it was probably the hope she could salvage even a single connection she'd made.
A single thought followed her the entire walk. The two words had burned in the front of her mind since the end of her confrontation with Zsasz and threatened to consume her entirely. What happened?
When was the last time she had truly felt happy? It had been good to just sit and be with Connor before she'd made the situation so strange. Prior to that, when? Cassandra was combating crime in an overly aggressive way that didn't come naturally to her. She picked arguments with Stephanie just for the sake of picking them, it felt like. She was just trying to do what a man totally enamored with his faith said was the right thing to do. And the happiest memories that came to her from before all that all involved the girl she had tried again and again to put out of her memory.
Gram said over and over again that the road God set was not always an easy one. God sent trials and tribulations to test the will of his followers. And even while begging that they stop, Cassandra had done everything in her power to fulfill his will. God was good, he would lead her through those wretched times.
Didn't I do it right? She bowed her head and prayed as she continued her walk. The sun had just set, the night was silent save for the buzz of passing cars. How much more?
These were what Gram had warned his followers of. He said the will of the virtuous would be tested. To know the will of god and defy it, that was heresy.
And maybe, for some strange reason, that was the force that pushed her to the Ghirardelli shop that night. She had done wrong, she needed to atone for it. At least to one person. Maybe it would be the start of something more.
The bell that hung over the door gave a little ring as Cassandra completed her pilgrimage to the shop that shown with gold wrappers and smelled of melty chocolate. As soon as she walked in, she frowned. A slender redhead stood at the back of the ice cream counter.
"Hello!" She said as Cassandra slipped past other browsing customers. "Can I help you?"
"Is Lupe here?"
"Oooh, I'm sorry, you just missed her," the redhead said. "I've heard she's the best, but I'm still happy to serve you."
"Wanted to talk." Cassandra sighed. "Sorry."
She turned to leave, embittered she had come so far for nothing, when the redhead called, "Hey!"
Cassandra turned to look at her.
"Her boyfriend usually picks her up at the bottom of the hill. You know that Chinese joint across from the bay?"
She nodded.
"Yeah, usually in front of there. She just got off, you might still be able to catch her."
Cassandra pushed open the door, nodded to herself and said, "Thank you."
She didn't know how long she would have, so she broke into a sprint when he stepped out of the shop. It was fortunate the redhead mentioned about the only other place in Star City she was familiar with. It didn't take her more than a minute or two to reach the bottom of the steep hill. Many people from giggling teenagers to adults still in their work clothes moved to and fro up and down the street, but there was no sign of a waiting Lupe. Cassandra gave a sad gaze toward the Chinese restaurant, as if she expected Lupe might have gone in, but it was dark on the inside. As a chilly wind blew through the air, Cassandra slipped her hands into her pockets and turned her eyes to the ground. Nothing was going to be accomplished that night. She figured it best to head back to Ollie's for the night.
She made it about four steps before a car nearby honked and made her jump. She wondered for a moment if it wasn't intended for her, until she got a better look at the street, where a beaten up old blue sedan was stopped in the lane closest to the sidewalk. Cassandra wasn't sure if the driver was allowed to park there, but the honk from the car behind implied the driver was not. She peered into the car in her confusion and almost double-took. Inside sat a man with short, dark hair and a black moustache like a caterpillar under his nose. She had only a passing glance from before to work off of, but she was sure he must be Emilio. But there was no sign of Lupe in the car with him. He must have still been waiting for her.
Cassandra stared at the car for a moment and began to trek back up the hill. Maybe she had run too fast and missed Lupe on her way down. She would go slower this time, make sure not to overlook anyone she passed. And if that failed, maybe she really had mistaken the man who sat waiting at the bottom of the hill. But something in her gut suggested otherwise.
"Please… please just leave me alone."
"You think this is a joke? You think this is funny?"
Cassandra stopped in her tracks as she heard something. She looked toward the dark Chinese restaurant and squinted her eyes. Two figures were just barely visible up against a dumpster. She didn't know how she heard them over the cars and the passing conversation on the streets, but she did. And something pushed her closer.
"What did I ever do to you?" It was a woman's voice, and the closer Cassandra came the more familiar she realized it was. "I'm just trying to live my life—"
There came a sharp slap as the other figure, a middle aged man, from the sound of it, commanded, "Shut your dirty mouth, fag! You're all just waiting for us to drop our guard. I know what you are, and I'm going to snap you in shape like someone should have a long time ago!"
Cassandra crossed the ally in a sprint before she froze at the scene before her. A fierce-faced man with a brown beard and denim jacket held her up against the dumpster as she struggled to escape his grip. Lupe opened her mouth to scream but her attacker shoved one hand over her mouth and forced his other hand down the front of her dress.
For a moment the hesitation vanished. Cassandra began to run toward the man who seemed to have not noticed her, before he pulled something out from Lupe's shirt. Cassandra was again frozen in conclusion as he threw it toward the ground. It looked to be a gray sack of some kind, by the way it hit the ground, filled with something soft and gelatinous.
The bearded man shouted as he pulled another out from the other side of Lupe's dress. "You think a pair of fake tits makes you a woman? You think that means people will just let perverts like you slip into the bathrooms with our daughters?" He raised his knee and thrust it between Lupe's legs. A shout of pain made it past his covering hand as she keeled over in pain.
"Stop!"
The man looked over and Lupe's eyes went wide with horror. It was the confusion that held Cassandra in place for those few seconds, but it could not hold her forever. She took a step forward as she locked eyes with her opponent.
"Let her go."
"Mind your own, kung pao chicken," he said. "Get out of here."
"No!" Cassandra took another step. "Let her go."
Lupe forced the man's hand down. With tears running down her face, she shouted, "Cassandra go call someone, but don't come any closer! Don't let him get you too!"
"What'd I tell you about shutting up, faggot?" The bearded man pulled Lupe from the dumpster and thrust her back into it. He looked back toward Cassandra. "It's an act, kid. Today these sons of bitches are running around in dresses, tomorrow they're cornering our kids in bathroom stalls. Get out of here, forget you've seen anything."
"Last chance." Cassandra spoke through her teeth. The anger of her friend held crying against a dumpster, the days of being unable to fight and weeks or rage slowly bubbled to the surface.
"This is the only way fags ever learn," he said. "God made men and women, and if one wants to pretend to be the other, they need to be kowtowed back into line!"
In that moment, Cassandra didn't know what she truly believed. She wasn't sure what to make about the talk of Lupe supposedly being a man or the fake breasts that laid on the ground before her. She couldn't remember what God had truly said about the state of being male or female and she didn't consider what that made of her friend's relationship with Emilio. What was happening before her was wrong. That was all that mattered.
It only took one bound to close the distance between them and force the man off of Lupe. The bearded man stood over a head taller than her and was clearly thrown off by the way the tiny Asian girl had overpowered him. When the shock passed he threw a punch. Cassandra weaved around one strike and then another before she dug two fingers into one of his pectorals. He yelled out in pain and tried to strike her again and again. A tiny part of Cassandra's psyche savored the fact the man was clearly not a fighter. He clearly wasn't even hardened from combat with other vigilantes. He was just a thug who had cornered her friend. Each of his punches were wide, sloppy and easy to dodge. She let him swing at her over and over until he began to gasp and wheeze with tiredness.
As the bearded man struggled for breath, Cassandra retaliated with a strike to each of his knees. Another shout of agony and he fell to a kneeling position. She raised her foot and delivered a final snap kick to the front of his face. Blood ran down the attacker's nose as he fell backwards in the alley and gripped at his wound as the red seeped down into his beard.
Cassandra stood tall over him, glared downward and quietly but firmly said, "Run."
The thug scrambled to pick himself up and ran out of the alley for his life. Cassandra watched him flee until he was out of view and slowly turned toward Lupe, still disoriented and trying to stabilize her breathing.
"You all right?" Cassandra asked.
Lupe tried a few times to respond with words before she threw her arms around Cassandra and sobbed. "Oh thank you. Oh my God, thank you!"
Cassandra allowed the instincts she had so long repressed. She clutched this woman she only barely knew, but still considered a friend, and pat her on the back.
"You're safe," Cassandra said. "Safe."
It took a few minutes for Lupe to steady herself enough to wipe away the tears and begin to make her way out of the alley, Cassandra in tow. As she came to the sacks that laid on the ground, she said, "I didn't want you to know… I don't want anyone to know, if they don't have to. But I was sure you wouldn't like me if you knew."
"Why?"
"I don't know." Lupe picked up the sacks, brushed them off and slipped them back into her dress. "When I first told my good, reverent Catholic parents, they certainly didn't take it well. Mama lamented for days about what godless America had done to my psyche. I was born in this country and she was still insisting she had to send me back to Mexico."
Cassandra didn't want to trouble her, but the question escaped before she could stop it. "Why… you like this?"
Lupe took a deep breath and a long exhale as they stepped back onto the street. "I don't know, and I've given up trying to figure it out…. Nobody wants to be uncomfortable in their own skin, Cassandra. And when you do, you'll do whatever you can to make sense of it." She wiped another tear away as it formed in her eye. "If God gave us hair that just keeps growing, are we defying him by cutting it? Adam and Eve lost their innocence in the garden and started wearing clothes, do you think that means we shouldn't bother wearing clothes?"
Cassandra said nothing, but every word touched her in a new and different way.
"Excuses for religious people to stop loving others." Lupe straightened up her dress to ensure her look was complete again. "We're not mindless drones. Every person has a different personality, every spirit is supposed to be a different spirit. What good is it for God to have put all that work into making us all so beautiful if we're all supposed to be exactly the same?"
Lupe's final sentiment struck Cassandra to the core of her being, so much so she stopped in place as Lupe kept moving toward Emilio's car. It was exactly as she had said to Stephanie weeks before, she had tried to surrender herself, her wants, her being, over to do God's will.
And Lupe had suggested it was all wrong.
Lupe turned and shouted, "Cassandra? Hey, Cassandra! You coming? Let me at least tell you goodbye!"
Cassandra snapped back to reality a moment, ran toward Lupe and wrapped her arms tight around her. Lupe was thrown off for a moment, but soon emulated the position and the two held one another in a tight embrace.
From within the car, Emilio rolled down the window. From the look on his face, he seemed frightened. "Lupe, dear, you're late. Is everything okay?"
Lupe sniffled as she turned their hug toward him. "It's all right now, darling. It's a terrible story, but thanks to this young woman, it has a happy ending."
For the first time in too long, fire began to course through Cassandra's veins. Maybe she couldn't rebuild what she had lost with Sadie, but she refused to put it out of her mind any longer. Maybe she couldn't win all of Gotham's criminal population over with redemption instead of violence, but she was ready to try again.
Hating good people for what made them different wasn't in her nature and she was finished with it. She was going to go back to Gotham, she was going to settle things with Lipov and the Odmience.
The greatest commandment Christ shared with his followers was, "You shall love the lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength." Following this, he said, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these."
Cassandra had run from her true nature and from God's most significant commandments. She knew the word and chose to defy it, it was finally time to stop running.
It was finally time to overcome her heresy.
[[Happy fourth anniversary. The Times of Heresy will officially end Easter Sunday.]]
