Chapter 21- It's Called a Hustle
"Okay, so how do we get to Liu?"
Barker tapped a key, scrolling through the information on the flash drive. "There's a lot of money being moved around here," she mused. "But we'd need subpoenas to get anywhere. And lots of detectives. And time."
"If we could pin some of it down, show that it's in reaction to something criminal," said Judy. "You know. Demonstrate that, say, he moved money into an account at the same time payment is made on an arms deal."
Wu looked surprised. "Yeah, that would give us probable cause, at least enough for a subpoena. And probably a search warrant, assuming we could show the money was in the right amount and everything. But we'd have to infiltrate the organization. That's not something we can do on this sort of shoe-string."
"Maybe not," said Nick slowly. He smiled. "Unless we have something he wants."
Judy looked at him quizzically. "Nick? What are you talking about?"
"It's called a hustle, sweetheart," said Nick smugly. She scowled at him as he continued. "Look, I've been told we Terrans are pretty popular among the citizenry."
Barker, watching him narrowly, nodded. "Ye-es," she said, drawing out the word suspiciously. "In your case, inexplicably so."
"Thanks, Ruth, you really make a fox feel loved. So anyway, we have something that Liu wants."
"What?" asked Arrizondo curiously.
Nick stood up and preened. "Why, they have the potential services of an amazingly talented, good-looking, courageous young police mammal."
"Yeah, but do you think Judy would do it?" asked Wu.
"I mean two talented, good-looking, courageous-"
"That's nice of you, Wilde, but I don't respond well to flattery," interrupted Barker.
Nick paused. "Okay. Yes, I should have seen that coming." He shook his head. "Let me put it another way. What politician would miss a chance to pose with us, while being able to say he was working for peace between our two worlds?"
"Oh!" said Arrizondo, her eyes widening. "Yeah. That might work."
"But what's the point?" asked Judy. "What do we ask from him in return?"
"Support for Terran independence," said Nick promptly. "And maybe something more."
"Like what?"
"Hang on, still working that out."
The other cops exchanged looks. "I don't know, Nick," said Barker doubtfully.
"Hey," said Nick, affronted. "This is a con. It's my area of expertise."
She frowned at him. "It is?"
The fox hesitated. "Um..."
"You know," said Barker, her eyes intent on Nick, "I've never been exactly clear on what you used to do before joining ZPD..."
"He sold popsicles," said Judy quickly.
"Popsicles?" said Wu.
"Uh-huh," said Barker, unconvinced. "But you just said that-"
"So, Sergeant Wu, you and Barker seem to know each other," interjected Nick. "Care to expand upon that?"
Barker and Wu looked at each other, their expressions shocked. The wolf's ears laid back along her head, and the human seemed to be holding his breath.
There was a long pause. "I withdraw my objection," said Barker, her voice low.
Wu breathed a sigh of relief.
"Great," said Nick enthusiastically. "So here's the plan-"
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"I have a cunning plan," said Hunter.
"Oh, God," said Tavi, covering her eyes with one paw.
It was the weekend, and the cadets were on leave. Hunter had caught a train into the city to meet up with Tavi. They sat in a small coffee shop, the same one Hunter habitually came to with Nick and Judy.
"Most of my plans work," said Hunter, offended.
"For you, maybe," said Tavi. "They tend to have some collateral damage."
"What, like Gideon's pies?"
"Or that office building you crashed a tank into. Or the broken window when you helped catch those burglars. Or-"
"Okay, okay." He sipped his coffee. "So this is what I'm thinking. We sneak into the embassy, see, and steal-"
"No," said Tavi.
"I haven't finished yet."
"It started with 'sneak into the embassy and steal', Hunter. You don't need to finish."
"All right, you think of something."
Tavi frowned, thought for a long moment. "Okay," she said eventually. "What do we steal?"
"Well-"
Before he could go on, there was a sudden silence in the cafe. Both of them looked up.
A pale, crew-cut man walked confidently into the cafe. He sat down. "I shall try a Camel Coffee, for here, please."
Tavi heard a low growl from her friend. "Drex," said Hunter, spitting the name. "What's he doing here?"
He spoke loudly enough that, in the silence, the Drex heard. He turned, smiling as he saw Hunter. "Well, what a surprise," said the Drex cheerfully. "Officer Hunter. We meet again."
"Octavius, isn't it?" said Hunter. "I'd recognize that slime trail you leave anywhere."
If anything, the Drex's smile widened. "With diplomatic skills of that caliber, it astonishes me that you normal humans have had so much trouble on this world." He looked Hunter in the eye. "But what do you expect from such an inferior, poorly evolved sub-species?"
Several mammals grabbed their coffee and hurried out the door. Most remained, watching the human and Drex worriedly.
With a visible effort, Hunter reined in his emotions. "You didn't come here for coffee, Octavius."
"Of course I did," he said. "Best coffee in the city. Says so on the sign."
"Cut to the chase. What do you want?"
The barista nervously gave Octavius his coffee. He sipped it appreciatively. "You've seen the news, I suppose? My government, impressed with the capability of the Terrans to live peacefully one with another- a capability normal humans lack- has decided to guarantee their independence."
"Yippee. With that and five dollars you can get a cup of coffee."
"Five dollars?" said the Drex, surprised. He glanced up at the menu. "For coffee?"
"I get a police discount," said Hunter with a shrug. "I don't think they have 'psychopathic genetically engineered freak' discounts."
The Drex sighed. "Why can't you just accept our superiority, Hunter? Why do you humans feel the need to always be in control?"
"Why do you feel the need to constantly claim we're inferior?" shot back Hunter. "It doesn't make us feel like you really want us around. Small wonder we won't let you guys be 'in control'."
"You fear what you don't understand, Hunter. We fear nothing."
The human stood up. "I know, Octavius. That's what's wrong with you."
"Fear is a negative, Hunter."
"It's part of being human, Octavius."
The Drex stood up, looking Hunter in the eye. "Not anymore."
The barista quietly began removing all the breakable items from the counter near Hunter and Octavius.
Hunter moved close to the Drex, almost nose to nose. "All right, superman. You want to settle this right here and now?"
The Drex tensed, but slowly relaxed, as if willing himself to do so. "Consequences," he murmured, seemingly to himself.
Hunter blinked. "What?"
Octavius turned away from him, settling his elbows on the counter. "I have no quarrel with you, Hunter. Your presence is neither advantageous nor disadvantageous to our goals."
Hunter glanced at Tavi, who shrugged. "You're really not good at this 'getting into a fight' thing, are you? What do I have to do, bring your mother into it?"
The Drex sipped his coffee.
Hunter sighed. "Damn. I get the one cowardly Drex."
"Not cowardly, Hunter," Octavius corrected him. "That's impossible for us. Let us say, hm, prudent?"
"Isn't that impossible for Drex, too?"
"With the proper indoctrination, anything is possible, Mr. Hunter." The Drex shrugged. "Humans are so ill-trained." He spared Hunter a contemptuous glance. "Like a puppy that constantly urinates on the carpet."
Hunter started forward again, but stopped when he felt a tug on his pants leg. "Yes?" he said to Tavi, who was watching the Drex intently. "I was in the middle of starting a fight, here."
"I can see that," said Tavi dryly. "And it's too early in the morning for an interstellar incident. Let's go."
For a moment, Hunter looked at her, then he looked back at the Drex. "I'm watching you, Frankenstein."
"Frankenstein was the name of the inventor," said Octavius in a bored tone. "Not the monster. If you're going to insult me, do it properly at least." He finished off his coffee with a long swallow and tossed it in the nearby trash can. "I find the atmosphere of this shop has deteriorated considerably. I think I'll save Mr. Hunter the trouble of backing down and leave myself." He turned and walked out the door.
Hunter watched him go. "Ha," he said with satisfaction. "I win."
"Males," muttered Tavi.
"What?" said Hunter distractedly.
"Nothing," she said quickly. She sighed. "What is it with you and the Drex, anyway?"
"They're nutjobs," said Hunter. "Crazy, arrogant assholes with a profound superiority complex."
"Oh, I see why you don't like them."
"Yeah-"
"They're stealing your schtick."
There was a long pause. "I'm not arrogant."
"Yes, you are." She patted his leg. "But I still love you." The mongoose shook her head. "Speaking of crazy, were you really trying to start a fight with a being that's supposed to be three times stronger than you?"
"Yeah, but-" Hunter stopped, his expression suddenly thoughtful. "Three times stronger," he said musingly.
"Yeah, and tougher, too, from what I understand. Better, stronger, faster-"
"Easy, girl," said Hunter, his voice still abstracted. He walked over to the trash can and fished out a coffee cup.
Tavi frowned. "What have you got, Hunter?"
He held up the coffee cup, the same one the Drex had used. "A hunch."
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The next day, Nick was struggling to get his tie straight in front of the mirror when two paws covered his eyes. He waited. "Aren't you supposed to say 'Guess who?'" he asked.
"No," said Judy from behind him, her voice merry. "After watching you try to get that tie on right for the last few minutes I just thought it'd be easier for you with your eyes closed."
"Ha, ha," groused Nick. He turned around. "Go ahead, I know you're dying to do it."
She reached up and adjusted the tie carefully. "There. Perfect." She regarded the fox critically. "You know, the dress uniform looks good on you."
"Not so," said Nick. He struck a pose, one paw on his hip, the other slightly forward. "I make this look good."
She rolled her eyes. "Dumb fox."
He looked down at her, his eyes travelling over her figure, so intently that her breath caught in her throat. "And you make it look gorgeous," he said quietly.
Judy flushed, looking away. "Okay," she amended. "Sly fox. But it won't work. We're going to be late if we don't get going."
He smirked at her. "Got your heart going, did I? A little flutter, perhaps?"
The bunny smacked his bottom, making him jump. He looked at her, a little surprised at her presumption. "Move, fox," she ordered. "The faster we get this over with the faster we can come back."
Still eyeing her, though with a slowly broadening smile, he moved into the main room to pull on his gleaming dress shoes. "You know," he called to her. "We're technically on duty this the entire time we're here on this planet. I'm not certain it's within regulations for us to engage in extra-curricular activities, so to speak."
Intent on lacing his shoes, he was taken by surprise when his tie was suddenly pulled taut, bringing his face level with Judy's, who stood over him. His eyes widened as she glared at him. "Um, Carrots-"
A slow, sultry smile spread over her face. She pulled him close, and kissed him hard on the mouth, pushing her body up against his, her paw roaming towards his belt buckle- and then she stepped back.
The fox looked at her, panting. "Carrots," he said, his voice throaty.
She put a paw on her hip and turned around, looking at him over her shoulder. She wiggled her little cotton-ball tail and the fox let out a low, hungry growl. He took a step forward.
She evaded his grasp easily, dodging towards the doorway. "Five minutes," she said. "And if we're late-"
Another look that made Nick's heart thump against his chest.
"Then there won't be any extra-curricular activities," she said. The bunny disappeared into the next room,
Nick never got dressed faster in his life.
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Barker straightened Wu's tie. "Honestly, it's like males of every species are completely unable to work out how a tie is supposed to look," she said irritably.
Wu grinned down at her. "Uh-huh. It has nothing to do with how females of every species feel compelled to fix them, whether they look right or not."
She smiled back, adjusting the tie's knot incrementally. "There," she said with satisfaction. "Much better." She started to step back, only to be pulled closer by Wu.
"And sometimes," he said quietly. "We use the ties to get the females into our arms."
She searched his eyes. "I thought we had decided to put things on hold."
"I think I decided that," said Wu. "Because I thought I'd never see you again. But-"
"It was more than that," said the wolf. "Humans have lived with one species, other humans. The only other mammals like us are dumb animals."
"But you're not," said Wu.
"No," she agreed. "But- interspecies relationships aren't unheard of on Zootopia. Here on Alphacen, though..."
Wu let her go, turned back to the mirror. "Love," he said contemplatively. "Is said to be blind. Like Justice. It's supposed to see not what's on the outside, but what's inside. The true self. The part that makes you, well, you." He turned back to Barker, who was hugging herself, looking down at the floor.
"But it doesn't always work that way," said Barker in a low voice. "You know that as well as I do."
Wu reached over, tilted her face to meet his eyes. "It's about what should happen, what will happen, not what is expected to happen. Or even what actually happens."
He could see tears in the wolf's eyes- tears that he marvelled at, as she was one of the strongest people that he knew. "And what is happening?" she said, her voice almost too quiet to hear.
"You tell me," he said, his gaze steady on hers.
There was a sudden knock at the door. Barker started to move away from him, but he caught her paw with his hand and drew her close.
Nick opened the door to the hotel room and poked his head in. His eyes widened as he saw Barker, her back to Wu, his arms around her waist. "Wow. So it is like that."
Barker unsuccessfully- and not particularly strenuously- tried to pull away from Wu, who responded by pulling her closer. "Now wait a minute- I have a high degree of respect for Sergeant Wu-"
"Is that what you kits are calling it these days?" said Nick cheerfully. "Hate to rush you, but we're going to be late."
Barker finally stopped struggling, leaned her head back against Wu until she could see over her shoulder at him. "Are you going to let me go?" she asked resigned.
He hugged her harder. "Not if I can help it," he said.
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The dinner was at a massive ballroom on the northwest side of First Landing, in a massive, towering structure set into one corner of the Riesland Estates. The limo that had been sent to pick up the Terrans- as well as Arrizondo and Wu- pulled up to the curb outside.
Nick got out, his eyes tracing the building as it climbed into the low-hanging clouds. "Please tell me they have an elevator."
"It's on the ground floor, Nick," said Judy.
"How'd you know that?"
"Because unlike some mammals, naming no foxes, I actually research the venue beforehand when conducting an operation." Judy stepped out, taking his offered paw.
"This is a dinner, Carrots, not an 'operation.'"
"Liu is going to be here, Nick. It's all part of the plan. Your plan, in fact."
"Yeah, and I know what I'm doing," he said breezily. "Just watch, Fluff. See the master at work." He sauntered up to the door, nodding at a man who bowed deeply.
"You would be the Terran delegate?" asked the man.
"Yeah," said Nick, affecting surprise. "How'd you know?"
"I, er-"
Nick looked down at himself, then slapped his forehead with his paw. "Oh, right! The uniform, of course."
"Yes," said the man gratefully. "My name is Marek, the maitre'd. Is the rest of your party here?"
Nick looked back to see Judy being joined by Barker, Wu, and Arrizondo. The two humans kept their expressions blank. "Yes, that's them."
"If you'll please step this way, Officer-" the maitre'd glanced at his uniform's nametag, "-Wilde, I'll show you to the table."
"Lead on," said Nick grandly. As Judy stepped up next to him, he extended an arm with a small bow. "My lady," he said.
She rolled her eyes at him, but put her paw on his arm. "You're having too much fun with this," she whispered accusingly.
"No such thing," he whispered back. They followed the maitre'd. As they walked, Nick glanced back and nudged Judy. "Don't look now, but check out Barker and Wu."
She kept her eyes forward.
Nick nudged her again. "Carrots, when someone says 'don't look now', you're supposed to look."
"She's got her paw on his arm, I imagine," said Judy.
Nick blinked. "Um, yeah. How did you know?"
"A doe knows these things," she said serenely.
As they walked in, they were surprised to see that the tables were all low, only a few inches off the ground. Around them, guests sat cross-legged or, in some cases, reclining. The maitre'd noticed their surprise.
"Ah, I see you have noticed that we are eating in the Arrakhi fashion tonight. The Arrakhi typically eat seated on the floor, you see, and their dishes are often exquisite. A subtle interplay of spiciness and sweetness, with undertones of exotic spices. I think you will enjoy it."
Nick, somewhat grudgingly, had to give it to the humans. They had realized their guests might not want to eat at a standard sized human table- there was no dignified way to sit in a booster seat- and had cunningly avoided the issue by drawing on a human culture that sat on the floor. Judy and Nick would scarcely stand out amongst the low tables.
The maitre'd gestured to a nearby table. "Please, make yourself comfortable- it is customary to use the provided cushions, though you may do as you like. Your waiter will be with you shortly."
Nick gave Judy a paw to help her sit down. She smiled at him. "You're quite the gentlemammal all of the sudden."
"It's the fancy digs," he said, straight-faced. "It brings out the posh in me."
He glanced over, seeing Wu holding out a hand to Barker. She ignored it, sitting down smoothly. The sergeant grinned ruefully as Arrizondo chuckled.
Nick leaned forward. "So, does anyone see Liu?" he asked quietly.
Barker casually scanned the crowd. "No- wait." She picked up the menu and pretended to study it, inclining her head slightly to the right. "Three tables over."
Wu glanced over at the table. "Yeah, that's him. If I'm not mistaken, that's Avendale Raines with him."
"Raines?" asked Judy.
"Another prominent EP leader," answered Wu. "Supposed to be known for his honesty."
"Yeah, but is he actually honest?" mused Nick. "Could be a problem."
"If he isn't?' said Wu.
"No, if he is. Honest mammals are the hardest to con."
Judy looked at the fox in surprise. "That seems strange."
He shrugged. "An honest mammal isn't always looking for short-cuts, for ways around things. They just look at the obvious. You ever hear of the violin scam?"
"Violin scam?"
"The con-mammal walks into a store. He buys something, but then realizes he left his wallet at home. So he gives the proprietor his violin- an old, worn-out one, to be sure, but his most prized possession- as collateral while he runs home for the money. While he's gone, another mammal- say, a fennec fox- walks in and sees the violin. Surprise, surprise- the fennec is a violin expert."
"I know this one," said Arrizondo. "So the- um, fennec fox, I guess- tells the store's proprietor the violin is a valuable antique. It's worth thousands. He offers him ten thousand, say, on the spot for it."
Nick nodded. "But it doesn't belong to the store owner. So the fennec leaves his name and number, and leaves. A few minutes later, the violin's owner shows up with the money. The store owner immediately offers him a thousand dollars for the instrument. After all, he knows he can sell it for ten thousand to that fennec."
"Oh, I see," said Judy. "So the violin really is worthless. And the 'owner' walks away with a thousand dollars for a broken down violin."
"Well, five hundred," said Nick with a shrug. "Because half goes to his accomplice, the fennec. You see what I mean about honest mammals?"
"Yes," said Judy slowly. "If the store owner was honest, he'd just tell the supposed owner that the violin was valuable, and that would be that. But if he's out to make a quick dollar at someone else's expense-"
"He gets taken," said Nick. He glanced over at Liu's table, a grin flitting over his face. "So, Carrots. Ready for the game?"
She smiled at him. "When am I not ready?"
"Good point," he acknowledged. "First step is arranging a meeting. Could go with the classic 'bump and spill'- you know, bump into his table, spill his drink, and profusely apologize."
"Wouldn't that antagonize him?" asked Arrizondo.
"No, for most mammals it just gives them a slight sense of moral superiority, and allows them to be gracious in accepting your apology. Moral superiority is a perfect emotion for a con-mammal's victim." Nick's voice was absent, his expression calculating. He somehow seemed to be studying the room without moving his head from the menu.
Judy watched him curiously. It had been a long time since she had seen him like this- fully involved in the art of the hustle, as it were. His eyes flicked warily, his stance was both more poised and more self-assured. Her sensitive ears could hear his almost unconscious, periodic sniffs of the air. She blinked, as she realized what it was. He was a fox on the hunt.
It should have made her nervous, she imagined. Or even scared. But right now, it just made him almost unbearably attractive.
There might be something wrong with me, she mused ruefully. But in a good way.
Nick jumped as he felt a soft paw suddenly tickle his thigh. He gave Judy a mock glare. "Down, doe," he muttered. "I'm working here."
"I can see that. That 'bump and spill' technique won't work," said Judy. "There's no reason for you to be walking past his table."
"Yeah, I can see that," said Nick thoughtfully. "That eliminates a bunch of possibilities."
The first course arrived, some sort of shellfish. Nick eyed it doubtfully. "Okay, so this may be a stupid question, but how do you eat this?" He noted there were several more legs than he was used to on shellfish. "And are you supposed to eat this?"
Judy had gotten a salad. She took a tentative bite and her eyebrows rose. "If it's as good as this salad, it'll be worth it, Nick."
"It's Arrakian sand crab," said Arrizondo. "It's very good. And very expensive. To eat it, you have to crack the main shell like this," she demonstrated, pulling on a leg. The shell made a soft "pop" and cracked open neatly along several seams. "Then dip the meat in this sauce."
Nick realized he could hear similar soft "pops" from nearby tables. "Okay," he said, following Arrizondo's lead. "So pull on the leg like this-"
Instead of the quiet pop, there was a crack like a gunshot and the crab's shell seemed to explode, sending fragments everywhere. Several nearby diners ducked for cover. There was a sudden silence as everyone looked at their table.
"No," said Arrizondo. "Not like that."
Nick looked briefly mortified, but then brightened. "Well, it was a bit more embarrassing than I had planned, but it worked." He nodded at Liu as if in apology. The rest of the cops looked over and saw the EP politician was watching their table curiously. "Part of the shell landed in his wineglass," said Nick. He stood up. "Well, I should apologize to everyone for disrupting their dinner." He winked at Judy. "Wish me luck."
"You? The fox who always says he doesn't need luck?" said Judy, affecting surprise.
"Well, that's true," he said modestly. He leaned closer so only she could hear. "Though from what my nose is telling me, I'm thinking I'm going to get lucky tonight."
Her face flushing red, she pushed him away. "Just go hustle, hustler."
He flashed her a grin that sent a thrill through her spine and sauntered towards the nearest table. "Hello, my name is Nick Wilde- I'm so sorry for the trouble, thought I should come over and apologize-"
Author's Note: Lots and lots of house-keeping today, folks.
First and foremost, the use of the "blind" metaphor, particularly as it relates to both justice and love, was the idea of Captainprice and Erinnyes- I thought it was a clever double meaning and used it, with their kind permission and consent.
Second, I am now on Discord! Name is CodeOne#5769. Feel free to drop me a line if you want to chat, give feedback, rant about lizard people taking over the government- wait, don't chat to me about the last one. That's too much like work.
Third, I would like to specifically thank Erinnyes for all his help recently. He helped me get set up on Discord and also provided critical assistance in getting me past some writer's block by being a sounding board.
Fourth, for those who haven't followed the reviews and are curious about the Barker/Wu relationship- it's partly for the various Barker/Wu shippers and partly because it meshes well with one of the themes of this story (and series). Frankly, I'd never expect to have written romantic dialogue between an anthropomorphic wolf and a human, but I suppose it is taxing my creative skills.
Finally, also thanks to Erinnyes, I will be continuing some Zootopia fanfiction even after Hunter's Peace is complete. Not (at first- I'm leaving my options open) necessarily in the "Hunterverse" but rather planning a Zootopia/Star Wars crossover (where all the SW characters are anthropomorphic mammals- suggestions are very welcome for what characters should be what mammals). This project is on the back-burner until I get done with Hunter's Peace, however, so don't worry that it will interfere. I may post a chapter or two to get it rolling if I get stuck again on Hunter's Peace, though.
