None of these characters are my own... if they were, Destiel and Sabriel would be a thing ;).

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Cas was dead. Again. Every time it didn't seem real. Not until now. This time he wasn't coming back, ever.

I watched as Cas, or his body, burned on the pyre. I've burned most of the people I've known, more often than not, it's my fault. I shouldn't have brought him on this mission, he was sick, could barely stand.

I watched his body burn for a little while longer before sitting inside the impala to wait for Sam.

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"So get this, apparently a family found with their heads bashed in inside of a locked house, and no signs of forced entry," Sam said.

"Sounds like our sort of thing," I replied with a shrug.

"What sounds like our sort of thing?" Cas mumbled. He had something like an angel flu, his temperature much hotter than normal, even though the angel always ran warm. He was covered in sweat and was shivering nonstop.

"Nothing," I replied, straightening, "Or nothing that concerns you, Cas."

"I want to help."

"You can help by getting better."

"I can't stand being cooped up in the bunker much longer, Dean," he said with a growl.

"Sucks for you 'cause you're not coming."

"Dean."

"Cas."

"Let me go."

"Are you two going to fight like a married couple some more or are we going to hunt monsters?" Sam piped up.

"Do you think he'll be fine if we bring him with us in this condition?" I said, gesturing at the sickly angel.

"I'm pretty sure he's going to come with us no matter what, so it's better if we can at least keep an eye on him."

"He's right, Dean. I'm not going to stay in this bunker much longer."

"Fine, you two! You win, happy? You're staying in the car Cas."

Cas of course, has gone in with us. The whole thing was a trap to lure our sickly angel out and kill him. Their plan worked.

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The trenchcoat was laid on Cas' seat in the, along with his tie. He's not coming back. I squeezed my eyes shut before anything could happen. Suddenly, Baby's door opened and Sam ducked in.

"It was my fault," he whispered.

"No, it's mine, Sam. I should have made sure he stayed, or locked him up in the bunker with angel cuffs or holy oil. He sacrificed himself for me."

"That angel was always getting into trouble."

"I remember the first time we met. I was scared out of my freaking mind," I commented. "The whole 'wings' show, the wind, and the messed up hair. He looked like something straight out of the comic books."

"Or when he lost his mind."

"I still have the image of him showing up on my Baby with nothing but bees covering him," I said, making a face. "He played Twister with me, begged me to play all sorts of board games. We stayed up a couple of nights playing games that we made up or found online. He would always try to win and make this goofy, little, pouty face when he lost. He'd shout, 'My father created you, why can't I beat you in a game of Sorry?!' and he'd study my moves."

"He was so scary when we first met him. He was a kickass killing machine that scared the hell out of me. Then he started to find out who he was. He rebelled against heaven for us. He was like a brother to me," Sammy said.

I tilted my head against my seat, staring up at the roof. "He was everything Sam. He was an idiot, always trying to do the right thing, even if it didn't usually work out. He was also one of the smartest people I knew.

"Sammy, I loved him," I said letting a tear fall, "I loved that little adorable winged mess and he's gone, for good this time. There's no bringing him back. He's just gone."

"I know. I know you loved him. I'm so sorry Dean."

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This was my first story so please feel free to review and help me to get stuff right! Thanks for reading.