Chapter 22- Negotiating Tactics

"Mr. Liu?"

The human looked up. Nick had been under the impression- perhaps because of the similiarity in the names- that Liu would look something like Wu, but his skin was paler, his eyes more round. Still, there was a certain degree of resemblance. Nick still had no great skill at reading human expressions, but the politician's face seemed to constantly be in a state of polite consideration- the sort that would make you begin to squirm nervously if you had something to hide.

That is, if you weren't an experienced dissembler like Nick Wilde, of course. The fox smiled ingratiatingly. "I saw you on the television a few days ago. Nicholas Wilde." He held out a paw.

Liu took his paw, still studying him. "Yes, of course, Mr. Wilde- I beg your pardon, Officer Wilde."

Nick waved a paw. "I wanted to come over and apologize for ruining your wine. We're not used to these more, well, exotic foods."

"Not at all," said Liu. He gestured to an empty place at the low table. "Won't you sit down for a moment? I find Terra- and Terrans- fascinating. Oh, this is a colleague of mine, Avendale Raines." He gestured to his companion, who nodded stiffly as he eyed Wilde suspiciously.

"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Raines," said Nick. He sat down, cross-legged. "Now, you're a leader of the- what was it called?- one of the human political parties."

"The Expansionist Party," said Liu. "Dedicated to seeing humanity not only survive, but thrive."

"Oh? How so?" asked Nick innocently.

Raines answered. "By destroying the enemies of humanity," he said gruffly.

"And rewarding their friends," added Liu smoothly. He tilted his head. "You know, the Terran mammals are much more like humans than many of the aliens we have dealt with."

"Are we?" asked Nick, a bit surprised.

"Yes. You have similar psychologies, social structures, even- within admittedly broad limits- similar physiologies." Liu sipped his wine. "No tentacular manipulating arms like the Larrat, no chitinous exo-skeleton like the Karathi. To me, the Terran mammals are our natural allies against the terrors of the stars."

Something about that last phrase- "Well, as a matter of fact," said Nick carefully. "I've often thought the same thing. I mean, we're all mammals, aren't we?"

"Precisely," said Liu. "Which is why I'm glad to see you here- as a representative of Terra, of course. Though the exploits of you and your companion- Officer Hopps, I believe- make you especially interesting."

"Interesting?" said Nick.

"Yes," said Liu. "Have you considered that you- much smaller and, if you'll forgive me, weaker- mammals defeated a number of specially trained commandos in close quarters battle? Imagine what trained soldiers could do. Not to mention that the reproductive rate of rabbits, in particular, is so high. Not only quality troops, but quantity."

The sudden image of Judy- and her family- being used as cannon fodder for the humans sprang to Nick's mind. With a supreme effort of will, he managed to keep from throwing his wine- or a knife- at the human. Barely. "An interesting idea," he said, drawing on all his experience to keep his voice polite. "You know, maybe we have a common interest."

A smile flitted across Liu's face, there and gone almost before Nick could see it. "Oh?"

"We both want to see relations between the Human Stars and Terra normalize," said Nick. "Maybe you'd be willing to help us with that?"

Liu looked at Raines. "What do you think, Avi?"

Raines leaned forward, eyes intent on Nick. "Depends on what this young man is suggesting."

"Mammal," corrected Nick. "Well, I understand a lot of people here on Alphacen kind of like us. What if we showed that we- and you- were working together?" He shrugged. "We'd get a friend, which is why we're here, and you'd get some good publicity."

Raines cocked his head, considering, then looked to Liu. "It might work. The Terrans are pretty popular with the lower classes. For some reason."

"Because they're adorable, Avi," said Liu dryly. He looked at Nick. "Aren't you?"

Nick narrowed his eyes at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You come up to me- Lin Tu Liu- with an offer that's supposed to be between equals?" said Liu, his voice dripping with contempt. "Wilde, I effectively control most of the Expansionist Party, and have a large degree of influence amongst the Protectionists as well. You are nothing more than a reformed con-man turned police officer." Though Nick tried to hide his surprise, Liu's smile showed he spotted it. "I do my research, Wilde. What's your game, anyway? Trying to persuade me to support Terran independence? Please." He pointed at the fox with his fork. "Even if you weren't- what you are- then your people are still far behind us technologically, culturally, socially. The best- the very best, Wilde- you can hope for is to be a protectorate. The worst you can expect, well." He shrugged. "You've already met the Drex, I hear. They seem nice, don't they?"

This wasn't going well. "Well," said Nick. "Human diplomacy at its finest, I see."

"Real diplomacy isn't about sweet words and empty promises, Wilde," said Liu. "This is how diplomacy actually works. We tell you where we stand- and where you stand- and you decide if you want to bow to reality."

Nick stood up. "I don't think we have anything to talk about, in that case. You've made yourself very clear."

"I flatter myself that I think I have," responded Liu dismissively.

Raines had watched the exchange with bemusement on his face, and now he stood up as well. "Officer Wilde, perhaps we could-"

That was interesting.

"No," said Nick. "I don't think we can."

He turned and walked back to his table, putting as much stiff-backed indignation into his stride as he could.

Judy watched him worriedly as he sat down at the table, his back to Liu and Raines. "Didn't go well, huh?"

Nick surreptitiously checked to see if anyone was looking at them. "Actually," he said with a smile of satisfaction. "I think it went just about perfectly."

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Hunter walked into the station just behind Tavi. "Hey, Clawhauser," he said casually, waving at the cheetah behind the desk. "Just going to the lab."

"Um, Hunter?" said Clawhauser as they started to walk past. "You need a name tag if you're going in there."

The human stopped, turned around and squinted at the cheetah. "What?"

"Regs, Hunter. All visitors need a name tag for identification."

Hunter and Tavi shared a look. "Clawhauser, do you think there's anyone in the station that won't be able to identify me?" asked Hunter, exasperated.

The cheetah spread his arms helplessly. "It's the rules, Hunter. I don't make them."

Hunter, grumbling, walked up and took the sheet of stickers that Clawhauser held out to him. "Marker?" he asked. Clawhauser handed him one.

Hunter scrawled something on the tag and pulled the sticker off the backing paper. He handed it back to Clawhauser. "There. Happy?"

"You have to put it on."

Hunter slapped the sticker to his chest and walked away.

A few moments later, they walked into the lab. A white-coated sloth looked up from a counter, a smile slowly- very slowly- covering her face. "Ah...Tavi," said the sloth. "I'm...glad...to...see...you...got-"

"Hello, Hurriet," said Tavi. She bounced onto a chair, then onto the counter, where she looked at the lab results Hurriet held. "So what did you find out?"

"Well...it...seems...that..." the sloth held up a clawed paw warningly, "...and...don't...take...this...the...wrong...way...but...to...be...brief..."

About fifteen minutes later, Hunter sighed. "You didn't find any matches."

The sloth shook her head. "No."

"It took you this long to run the sample through the computers. I thought you said you got a rush job on this," he said to Tavi.

"Hurriet is the fastest technician in the lab," said Tavi defensively.

"Really? Are the other ones dead?"

"Hey..." said Hurriet, possibly offended. It was hard to tell when an expression took nearly half a minute to form on her face. "I...find...that..."

"Then make a complaint to the chief," said Hunter. "I should be retired by the time he gets it. Here," he said, putting down the coffee cup he had abstracted from the diner. "Check this DNA against the one I recovered from the super-wolf."

The sloth's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Drex are genetically engineered to be much more physically robust, fast, and strong. The super-wolf was much more physically robust, fast, and strong. You do the math."

"You think they're related, somehow?" asked Tavi, surprised. "Like, what, the Drex engineered a mammal equivalent of themselves?"

Hunter shrugged. "It's a long shot. But I find it kind of strange that super-wolf showed up just about the time the Drex did, don't you?"

"Well..." said Hurriet. "You...know...what...they...say. Once...is...happenstance. Twice...is...coincidence."

"Three times is enemy action," said Hunter. "Yeah, but I'm not waiting for the third time."

They watched the sloth's slow progress toward the back of the lab. "At least," said Hunter. "Not by choice."

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"Negotiating tactics," said Nick as they started to leave the dinner. He smiled and nodded at a tall woman whom they had been introduced to earlier. She was the Premier of something or other, as he recalled. He hadn't really been listening.

"What?" said Wu. "Is that really how you start conversations?"

"Liu's refusal," explained Nick. "He's interested. He switched tack too fast in the middle of the conversation- all nicey-nice and then Big Bad Wolf." Nick glanced at Barker. "No offense."

She smiled sweetly at him.

Suppressing a shudder, Nick continued, "He got his flunky, Aven-whatever Raines, to try and keep me on the hook. In fact, any minute now-" he scanned the crowd.

Sure enough, a familiar, patrician face appeared. "Ah, Officer Wilde," said Raines happily. "I apologize for the bluntness of Mr. Liu. He is a worthy man, but sometimes a bit-"

"-of a prick?" finished Nick.

"I- what? No, I was going to say that he could sometimes be somewhat-"

"Jerk-like? Jerky?" Nick looked at Judy. "What's the adjectival form of jerk?"

Raines looked pained. "I cannot apologize enough."

"Try," suggested Nick.

"As it happens," said Raines, apparently deciding to push on through, "we are interested in your offer. The Expansionist Party has had quite a bit of negative press due to some of our wayward members acting stupidly, not to say criminally-"

"Oh, no," said Wu. "Not to say that."

"Just think it," offered Nick. "Really, really loudly."

"You're not making this easy," said Raines, a bit miffed.

"No," said Nick. "Just fun."

"Look," said the politician. "I'm going to talk to Mr. Liu. I think I can bring him around."

"He didn't seem like he really liked Terrans much," observed Nick. "Why should we want to work with him?"

Raines looked at Nick keenly. "You're just a police officer, are you?"

"Yep." Nick returned his gaze coolly. "Just a simple, dumb cop."

"Interesting," said the politician to himself. "Tell me, Officer Wilde. Do you think Terra has a chance against the Human Stars if we decide to extend our protection?"

"I'll answer that question when you answer this one. Do you think the EP has a chance of retaining their voters if they start a war with us cute, fuzzy mammals?"

"The stakes are higher for you," observed Raines.

"Maybe. But that's all a matter of perspective. I'd say we both have something to gain," said Nick. "But it's up to your Mr. Liu. I have other options. The Protectionist Party, perhaps?"

The politician flinched slightly. "Just a cop, Mr. Wilde?" said Raines, looking at him with respect. "I wonder. Please, have my card." He handed Nick an embossed, metal card which had his contact information on it. "I will be in touch."

Nick nodded. "I look forward to it."

Raines melted back into the crowd and the group started walking back to the valet parking area. "Well," said Barker. She looked down at Nick with a new respect in her eyes. "That wasn't half bad, Wilde. Quite the way with words."

He nodded. "Yeah, I word real goodly."

Judy poked him. "I'm starting to see how you made two hundred dollars a day since you were twelve."

"Is that a lot?" asked Wu, curious. "And before or after tax?"

"So now," said Nick quickly, "We move to phase two of the plan."

"Which is?" asked Arrizondo.

"Back to the hotel room, and I'll explain everything."

"We're finally going to hear the whole plan?" said Judy.

"Hey, I need to keep some mystique going here. You'll hear the next part of the plan."

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As Tavi and Hunter walked out of the lab, they heard a bellow from the offices above them. "Cadet Hunter!"

Hunter kept walking.

"Cadet Hunter! My office!"

Tavi frowned as Hunter showed no signs of slowing his pace or changing direction. "Shouldn't you-"

"Listen, I may be a cadet," said Hunter. "But that doesn't mean that I have to like it. Besides, he doesn't sound too angry-"

"HUNTER!" shouted Bogo.

The human abruptly swerved and walked toward the elevator. Tavi hurried to catch up to him. "I take it he sounds angry now?" she asked dryly.

"TAVI! You, too!"

"Eep!" The mongoose scurried into the elevator.

When the door came open, they found themselves face to face with the ZPD chief. "Hiya, chief," said Hunter casually. "Long time, no see."

"My office, Hunter. And Tavi." Bogo turned and stalked off, his tail flicking in irritation.

Hunter looked down at his dimunitive partner. "What's he angry about now?"

Tavi shrugged. "I think he's only happy when he's angry."

"So this is good news?"

"GET A MOVE ON!" Bogo's shout seemed to rattle the walls.

"Not for us," said Hunter.

They quickly followed Bogo into his office. "Hunter," said the buffalo. "Read this." He tossed the human a stack of papers clipped together.

Hunter frowned down at it. "You print out your emails?" He peered at Bogo. "What century are you living in?"

"Just read it."

Hunter skimmed the email, which proved to be a report from Judy and Nick. Seeing that, he read more carefully- "Oh, those sneaky little mammals," he muttered. "I knew something happened to them enroute." He blinked. "What does Nick mean, confirmed fighter kill?"

"I've been thinking about that one for a while," said Bogo tiredly. "And I still haven't come up with anything other than exactly what it sounds like. Much as I would like to."

Hunter continued reading, passing the papers down to Tavi as he finished each one so she could read them, too. He looked up as he finished. "Chief, I just want to say that I specifically warned Officer Hopps not to overthrow any governments."

"That's probably where she got the idea from," said Bogo. "What I want to know is, should I order her not to do it?"

Tavi finished reading the emailed report and looked up. "Why would you do that?"

"Because taking down a member of the Expansionist Party would tick off a good chunk of the political elite of the Human Stars," said Hunter. "That's if it doesn't go wrong and blow up in their face."

"And they're out of their depth," said Bogo. "Hopps and Wilde are clever, but not really up to dealing with humans, especially human politicians. Humans are sneaky, conniving creatures."

Tavi winced and looked at Hunter, who shrugged. "What? That's pretty fair, really."

"On the other paw," continued Bogo, "They seem to think they'll be able to get Prometheus. That's where I want your opinion."

"You want my opinion?" said Hunter in surprise. "Is it really that desperate?"

"The government thinks it's won some space with this Drex guarantee," said Bogo. "But I'm not so sure. From what the papers say, the Human Stars still won't back down. It's almost as if they want an interstellar incident."

"A provocation," suggested Hunter. "An excuse."

"Exactly. Such as-"

"A diplomatic incident. Like taking down one of the top dogs in the EP. Except- sir, if there is some kind of plot- and we both know there are probably half a dozen plots at any given time- Liu is likely to be part of it. Taking him down might make things better."

Bogo nodded. "Which is why I'm inclined to trust their judgment." He hesitated. "Well, Hopps's judgment. Wilde generally follows her lead." He leaned back. "What's your progress on the Pandora case?"

"Not much," admitted Tavi. "We haven't tracked down that tiger or the, um, super-wolf yet."

"Super-wolf," said Bogo contemplatively. "You know, Hunter, before you came along I never had to deal with things like this."

"What about Night-howler?" said Hunter.

"Okay," amended Bogo. "Almost never."

Tavi continued. "The DNA from the wolf didn't come up with any matches-"

"Which doesn't necessarily mean much because only violent criminals are likely to be in the database," finished Hunter. "But I have a hunch."

Bogo narrowed his eyes and leaned back slightly. "What sort of hunch?"

Hunter explained his theory that the Drex and the super-wolf were related. "It can't just be coincidence."

"Perhaps not," said Bogo. "But that brings up the last thing I need to talk to you about. It seems someone tried to pick a fight with a Drex in a coffee shop earlier today."

"Really?" said Hunter, his voice suddenly innocent. "Seems unwise."

"Yes," said Bogo flatly. "Very unwise. Stupid. Even crazy. So naturally I thought of you."

"Could have been anybody-"

"The report describes the mammal confronting the Drex as a human."

"Embassy staff-"

"Says he was with a mongoose."

Hunter locked eyes with the chief. There was a silence. "Maybe I should exercise my right to remain silent," said Hunter.

"If only you would do that more often," muttered Bogo. He pointed at Hunter. "I do not want to have another Lucas situation with the Drex, Hunter."

"Lucas is dead, Chief."

"Yes," said Bogo. "That's precisely what I'm talking about. Stay away from them."

"Sir- listen, the government is making a big mistake," said Hunter pleadingly. "The Drex can't be trusted. Their entire government- it's based on the idea of dominance of the strong- meaning them- over the weak- meaning everyone else."

Bogo sighed. "I have virtually no political influence, Hunter. I can't change anyone's mind. For what it's worth, I tend to agree with you. But it's not up to us to deal with the Drex."

Hunter scowled. "Fine. I won't-"

There was a timid knock at the door. "Yes?" asked Bogo, irritated at the interruption.

"It's me," said Clawhauser from behind the door. "Urgent message."

"Come in," said Bogo. Clawhauser poked his head in hesitantly. When he didn't speak immediately, Bogo waved him in. "So what's this urgent message for me?"

The cheetah walked in, his ears flat against his head. "Um, not for you, sir. For Hunter." He held out an envelope.

"For me?" said Hunter in surprise. He took the envelope and ripped it open.

"Well?" asked Bogo, his voice wary.

"Hey, sir, does me not provoking the Drex count if they provoke me first?"

"What are you talking about, Hunter?"

Tavi had hopped onto the back of a chair and was reading Hunter's note over his shoulder. "It's from the Drex," she said slowly. "Octavius just challenged him to a-" she hesitated.

"A duel," said Hunter, re-reading the note.

Author's Note: Still going to be a bit slower on updates for a bit, I fear. At least I got through the first major holiday.