Randy stared at the closed blinds. He had taken to keeping the room dark. He didn't want the lights turned on and he didn't want the blinds opened. He was in a tremendous amount of pain, but he wouldn't take the medicine the nurse offered him every day for fear they would slip him something that would make him a zombie just so he would be easier to deal with. He did allow his aid, who was different everyday since he had injured his regular, fix him a basin of water and leave a towel and washcloth. He would wash himself because despite his new attitude against life, he was embarrassed that Mia had seen him in the filthy condition he had been in. He had dreamed of seeing her again and that was not how he thought of it.
His mother arrived later that day. She sat down in a manufactured, cookie cutter chair she dragged in from the common area. "I see you're in the same place you were in the last time I visited." she snorted. "At least you finally shaved off that beard.
"I don't know Mom, when's the last time you didn't criticize me." "I don't criticize."
"The hell you don't. Even before the accident. Nothing I ever did was good enough."
"Randy, I'm not going to sit and coddle you when you've screwed up."
"Oh, I would just love to hear you spin what happened to me. How is this my fault?"
"You're the one who married that girl in Vegas. You're the one who refused to divorce her. I told you she was nothing but trouble. She lived with your friend and yet you still stayed married to her. Where is she now, Randy? Where is your wife when you're sitting there disabled. Probably shacked up with another one of your friends, that's where."
"I wish I never told you about her."
"I wish that too. Do you know how hard it is for me? Do you know how embarrassing it is for me to have to tell my friends that my son was in prison, lost every thing he had including his legs and his sanity?" "I'm not insane."
"You're practically in a mental institution and it's all that girl's fault."
"I'm guessing you just came from lunch or shopping with your so called friends. That's the only time you come see him. That way you can yell and tell me how much of a disappointment I am to you. I'm sorry I embarrass you. Sorry I made your life difficult. Sorry I ruined your figure. Sorry I kept you from accomplishing your dreams. Happy?"
His mother sighed.
"I love you Randy. You're my son. But you need to use your head. You've always were a smart boy, so use your head and figure out this situation." she picked up her purse and took a look around the room. "It's this place, I bet." She slipped on her sunglasses. "Maybe you need some things from home. I'll have Fredrick bring a few boxes from the shed down. And maybe that tacky sofa you liked so much." Everything in his condo had been packed and placed in his mother shed. Fredrick, her latest boyfriend he hadn't even met yet and she was already sending him on an errand she didn't want to do herself. But at least she did show up from time to time. His father hadn't. The man would've been happier if he never knew of Randy's existence.. His mother had taken him back and forth to court to increase her child support payments all his young life. The man wasn't rich and she was never happy, not even when she received half his paycheck each week. He believed his father should pay something to help out, but he thought what she demanded was unreasonable. Both his parents resented him. He was a mistake and they still saw him as a mistake and a burden that would never go away.
He had been able to ignore them for the most part, now, living him own life and only seeing them when it was necessary, but now, they were just reminders of how truly alone he was in the world. No one was there to encourage him. Cheer him on and tell him he could overcome what had happened. Life just wouldn't give him a break.
Fredrick showed up that weekend. "Get out!" he had screamed in a particularly bad mood and he had been since his mother had visited. He had hoped Mia would stop in once in a while to check on him, but she never did. He never saw her and it irritated him because he knew she was right outside, probably passed by his door nearly every day and she was able to ignore him like he wasn't there at all.
Fredrick came in anyway. Rocking on his heels with his hands in his pocket.
"I know your mad at the world right now, but one of these days you're going to have to forgive it. "I guess you're the new man. Don't waste your time, old man. My mother bores easy."
"Whatever's meant to be will be." he laughed and brought a gold cart into the room that looked like it belonged in a hotel. The same cart had been used when he arrived, but he had only had two boxes. All clothes and personal hygiene products. "You're mom wasn't specific about what you wanted so I brought some things I thought you might be missing." Randy was curious about what the man thought he would like. Fredrick turned on the lights and it hurt Randy's eyes. Then he plopped a box on the table and pulled out a bunch of framed pictures. "Where do you want em'?"
He had a thick southern accent and kind eyes. Randy picked up one of the frames.
"These really aren't going to help me feel better." He snapped, tempted to hurl the picture across the room. It was one of Mia. He had surprised her. They had gone to an amusement park, she and Roman and he had brought some girl whose name he couldn't remember. She had grown tired of watching them play endless games. Actually, both women had grown tired of watching him and Roman shooting at targets, betting who could hit the most.
He didn't know how long they had been gone, but they hunted for them for nearly two hours before they found them relaxing in the water park portion of the park. She was standing under a large mushroom looking thing with water cascading down over her. He hadn't been sure it was her, when he aimed his camera, but when he called her name, she turned her head and smiled so big that it made him want to run and scoop her up in his arms, kiss her and tell her she had to leave Roman. The girl had always smiled when she saw him. No matter how long he was gone, but not the last time. Last time he only saw sympathy in her eyes. Pathetic sympathy.
"You have no idea what this thing is, but I'm guessing by how worn the buttons are, you used it a lot." He handed him his Pod. Fredrick was right. He had loved music. He listened to it all the time even when he was asleep. "Alarm clock." Which was really a small stereo that boomed sound as well as the biggest home sound system. "I brought you're television too. It's was just shameful to see such a nice set wasting away in that shed."
Randy had owned the largest screen he could find and Fredrick didn't even ask him if he wanted maintenance to come and help hang it on the wall. He asked the front desk to send them as soon as he entered the lobby and the men showed up, invaded his room.
"I think the bed needs to move closer to the window. That will make more room for that big couch. Two recliners in that thing boys. The boy here knows how its done, doesn't he?" Randy never dreamed he see the plush black piece of furniture again. Soon, his room somewhat resembled the living room in his condo. Not as nice, less windows, but still more like home. "You want to sit on it don't you?" He had read his mind, but Randy looked away, too proud to ask for help from stranger. "Come on, kid. Come have a beer with me and let's get to know each other like men should."
Randy snorted. "I've been through this hundreds of times, old man. I don't want a friend, so you can stop trying so hard. Trust me, it won't impress my mother. In fact, it would piss her off."
"You may not want a friend, but you sure as hell need one." And Randy did want to get out of a bed that he had been stuck in for too long. He wanted to sit on his familiar old sofa. He wanted to pretend he was living his old life were he relaxed after a long day and watched a movie on his big screen. Usually what ever was on TV and whatever Mia was watching on her night off. In different homes, connected only through a television most the time, but still something he had looked forward to.
Fredrick helped him to his wheelchair and Randy surprised himself by sliding onto the sofa with no help at all. He laid his head back, pulled the lever that kicked up his feet and moaned at the comfort. He took the beer Fredrick offered, pulled down the top of the center seat to reveal a table with cup holders and placed his beer in it.
"Impressive. I had no idea that was there. I think I'm going to have to buy one of these." Randy laughed. He liked Fredrick despite his rule about getting close to his mother's 'friends'.
Knock. Knock. A young girl who couldn't be older than eighteen gently knocked while she opened the door.
"Hello, I'm Tara." she said in the innocent, newbie voice that was laced with fear. She had to be a new hire, probably fresh out of the class. He could spot them before they made it two steps inside. They didn't know about him and he could hear the snickers from her co-workers who didn't bother to tell her about the resident they had stuck her with. "I'm making a round. Do you need help going to the bathroom?"
"Get the hell out of here." he snapped pointing at the door. He hated that so much! It made him feel terrible and it was embarrassing. He could go on his own and he hated that someone had to empty his urinal jug and bring him a bedpan when he needed to make a bowel movement. It was humiliating and even worse when they asked him.
The girls eyes grew wide and she hurried out of the room.
"I know you've kind of gotten a raw deal here, kid, but you don't have a reason to be an ass."
"What?"
"These poor girls don't deserve that kind of rudeness. They work hard, son and they don't make nearly enough for all they do. I spent a few months in a place like this once and I'll tell you right now. I'll belt you one if you talk disrespectful to any of them in front of me. I don't' care if your legs don't work or not."
"You wouldn't say that if you met the regular girl."
"There are some bad ones in every bunch.. I could always tell which ones were only around for the paycheck." Fredrick said. "But the others. If I were younger." He growled willfully. "If I had been your age. I would have taken one home with me."
Randy laughed. The old man had a sense of humor that he could not ignore, even though he wanted to. Fredrick wouldn't last much longer than the rest. His mother had a way of running off good men.
"So, when do I get to meet this wife you're mother keeps complaining about?"
"You probably passed her on your way in." Randy said with a hint of resentment.
"She works here?"
"yeah," Randy took a big swig of his beer. "It was a real kick in the gut. I had no idea where she was and then this happened and I'm dropped right where she is."
"Sounds like fate to me."
"It's torture. She came in here once and I haven't seen her since. And I thought we were close friends."
"That's your problem. You keep waiting for her to come to you." Fredrick was right. He had waited and waited since the morning he watched her walk off with Roman with his ring in her pocket instead of her finger. He still wore his. He always wore it. Roman had thought it was his way to lure women at the clubs who found it exciting to sneak around with a married man. He had thought that for a long time and Randy let him believe it. "You're making it too easy for her. If I was you I would be parked right where she works all day."
"I'd only have to sit outside my door because she works on this floor. As far as I know anyway."
"then what are you waiting for? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make your wife fall in love with you."
