ChApTeR sEvEn – Brace yourself, a change is brewing

Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me nor will it ever


"Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change."
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Tsuna woke up to the sound of low beeps and the rustling of sheets. His head was throbbing as it had been when he woke up in that hallucination and at the thought his eyelids snapped open. "Morning" his grandfather said from beside his bed. Guessing from the décor and the fact that he was wearing a paper thin gown, Tsuna knew he was in the hospital.

"Ugh, this feels familiar" Tsuna said and winced. "Everything hurts" he whined and his grandfather chuckled.

"You should be proud of that pain. You passed the second test because of it" his grandfather said and Tsuna rolled his eyes as he placed his head on the soft pillow.

"And Eiji?" he asked, glancing at the open door, watching as some nurses walked past his room.

"He's alive, that's all you need to know" his grandfather said, his eyes glossing over Tsuna's face. The boy was supporting a nasty black eye and there were cuts and bruises running from his forehead to his lips. He was expecting the boy to cause another fit or even break down but Tsuna's head remained pressed against the cool surface of the pillow. He could see a sort of resignation in those brown eyes of his, and it was slightly more disturbing than the usual fear. "You're surprisingly quiet" he added.

"I nearly killed him, what is there to say?" Tsuna said with a tired groan. His body was reeling in the aftershocks of the fight, while his mind was paralysed to what had happened for the last few days. Recently he learnt that he came from a family that killed people for a living, his mother wasn't who she pretended to be, his grandfather drugged him, they wanted him to become an assassin too, he had watched as his mother killed a man and he nearly did the same thing to one of his classmates, the boy who had bullied him since they were little kids. Yeah, it was just your average, typical week for the Sawada boy.

"Normally, you would have screamed or try to run away" his grandfather said with a quiet chuckle.

"I'm just so tired right now and to top it all off, I feel like a train ran over me" Tsuna said as he closed his eyes, his mind growing sluggish.

"You're wrong, Tsuna-kun. It's not tiredness, that's your courage" his grandfather said and Tsuna snorted. "When you wake up again, you'll see that the world around you is the same, but you're not. You're stronger now" he whispered before Tsuna welcomed sleep with open arms.


When he woke up again, his grandfather was nowhere to be seen. Yet his mother was by his side, using a cloth to wipe his face. When his eyes opened, she smiled at him before pulling away. "Good morning, sleepy head" she said as she moved a little to the side and from the bed. Tsuna groaned and when he tried to sit up, his ribs protested against the action. Tsuna flopped back on the pillow and looked at the ceiling. "Are you hungry?" she politely asked him and he could see that she was trying her best not to look affected by his brusque actions.

"Not really" he said and she gave him a nod. He looked at her from the corner of his eyes and asked "Do you ever regret it?" The shock crushed away all traces of a smile on her face as she twisted the cloth in her hands. There was no reason to pretend anymore with each other. He couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt to know that the mother he loved for all his life lied to him. He couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt that no matter how much he tried, the betrayal always overwhelmed the love he had for his mother. He couldn't pretend that he hated that he couldn't forgive the one person who always defended him, who loved him more than he could ever know. However, despite all of that, he had to know if she ever regretted her decision because he needed her help as always. He needed to know if he would ever regret the path he chose for himself.

"Even though it's all I've known from since the day I was conceived, not once have I regretted it. Do you know why?" she asked and she brushed away a few strands of hair that were close to his eyes. When he shook his head, she said "Because no matter what happens, no matter what I do or what is done to me, I always protect my own. I will ALWAYS be there to keep you and Teruko-chan safe" Tears welled in his eyes and she wiped them away with the pad of her thumbs.

"You're a great mom" he whispered and he ignored his complaining ribs as his mother hugged him. This was their moment, discomfort be damned.


When Kyoko arrived in his room, he braced himself for the storm that he knew was coming his way. She was holding Teruko's hand in hers, when his little sister saw him for the first time since he was admitted into the hospital (which was two days now), her face scrunched up. Kyoko was the same but just for the little girl's sake, she stamped down her emotions so she could support Teruko.

Teruko sniffed, but that didn't stop the flow of tears. "Come here, Teruko-chan" he gently commanded her and without waiting she ran to him. She climbed onto his bed and wrapped her shaky hands around his neck, as he buried his nose in her hair. "I'm sorry" he whispered to her.

"You made mommy sad" Teruko sobbed and Tsuna ran his hand through her hair, just as Kyoko had done for him when he was sad. Kyoko's eyes softened as she sat down next to his feet. "Naughty" she chided as she pulled away. Tsuna wiped her runny nose and she settled herself on his lap, her face fastened to his chest. He had to hold in the flinch as she pressed up against his cracked ribs.

"She insisted that she come see you. Your mother and grandfather are on their way" Kyoko said as Teruko's sobbing got more silent. "She ran out the car as soon as we got to the entrance of the hospital" she added with a sad smile on her face.

"You're angry" Tsuna said, rubbing Teruko's back, watching as the little girl's energy fizzled and died. In fact she was looking sleepy.

"Of course I'm angry" Kyoko said through clenched teeth. "But I'm sad too" she added as she sighed. Ever since she sat in the back of that ambulance with an unconscious, almost broken Tsuna, her anger had been replaced with misery and regret. It was a shame too, she caught herself thinking, all that scolding she had practiced in her head was going to go to waste.

"I'm sorry" was the only thing he could offer up to her. When she saw the look in his eyes, she knew then that the only thing she had to return, was her forgiveness.

"Next time, I hear you're going to fight, I'll personally kick your ass myself" Kyoko said and Tsuna grinned at her before she slipped her hand into his. They were going to be alright. Tsuna, despite her previous worries, would be fine and that was the most important thing for them all.


It was later on, when his mother had to physically remove Teruko from his room seeing as she begged her to stay with her 'Tuna-kun', with Kyoko smiling a good bye at him, that his grandfather approached him once more. He felt lethargic, he felt exhausted, but he remained awake as the man stood next to his bed. "Every time you come talk to me, you either have bad news for me, or you're going to tell me horrible facts that I'm better off not knowing" Tsuna said to him and despite the tentative look on his face, his grandfather cracked a smile his way. The elderly man helped with the pillow behind him before pulling up the sheets over his body, trying to distract them both.

"If you should know, it's the former" he said and Tsuna frowned. "It's two set of bad news though" he added and Tsuna nosily exhaled.

"Go ahead" Tsuna said, readying himself mentally.

"Firstly, it's been decided…..that you won't be able to go back to school. That idiot…I mean the principal came to the conclusion that because of your actions, you would be expelled" his grandfather said and Tsuna sighed. Wasn't really surprising, seeing as what he had done to Eiji (yet there was part of him shouting 'Where is my justice?What about when he did all those horrible things to me? Why wasn't he expelled?!') but he ignored it.

"And the second?" Tsuna asked.

"It's about your third initiation test" his grandfather said, and was quite glad that the boy was taking everything with such a grace. "It's not like the first two. In fact it's a celebration where all of the clan welcomes their new kinsmen. The only thing is, after the third initiation, to be able to train you in our ways, you're going to have to move to Iga with me" he finished, anticipating his grandson's reaction. And he wasn't disappointed seeing as the boy released a loud, high pitched, hysterical "WHAT?!" in reply.


Each letter of his grandfather's previous revelation knocked against his skull in form of a rampant headache. His one eye that was swollen shut, stung when he tried to open it, an involuntary reaction seeing as his other eye opened wide. "You're kidding me, right?" Tsuna asked though he knew in his heart that his grandfather was not. His grandfather wasn't the sort that would 'kid' around.

"It's the only option" the man replied. Tsuna resisted the urge to pick up the beeping machine beside him and smash it at his impassive face. How could his grandfather be so calm at a time like this? He wasn't just asking him to fight against the bullies like the last time, he was asking him to leave everyone he knew and loved behind so he could move to Iga with him! Tsuna's breathing grew harsher as he tried but failed to calm his breathing. It wasn't good for his ribs. He buried his face in the pillow and gave a frustrated scream. Of all the things his grandfather asked of him, this was the worst. Damn…..this really was the worst, he thought to himself.

"I know this is difficult" the man was saying but stopped when Tsuna's bandaged hand slammed down on his bed.

"You have no idea how 'difficult' this is so don't pretend like you do" Tsuna hissed, as he held back his tears. "Can you leave, please?" he asked as he glared at the wall. His throat started to painfully close up as his emotions got the better of him.

"Of course" his grandfather said and neither said anything as he walked out the room.


For the first time in three days, Tsuna got out of bed. He felt like he was losing his mind trapped in that little room. He had to get out of there, to clear his thoughts, to get rid of the fogginess that imprisoned him whole. He had to find a place where he could think about everything that had happened. To return to the Tsuna he was, before all of this shit went down.

His family was thankfully not around, nor was Kyoko as he slipped out of his room in the rather revelling gown. It was evening, bordering on night, as he faltered down the empty halls no nurse or doctor to tell him to get back to his room. As he was going to turn the corner, he caught sight of a boy lying on a bed similar to his.

Tsuna slowly walked towards the glass, entranced when he realized exactly who it was. It was a frail looking Eiji, with a breathing mask secured over his face. Oh God…Tsuna didn't even know if you could call that a face, seeing as it was so badly bruised. Something revolting and tart rose in his throat before he placed his bandaged hand over his mouth. He gagged as the woman sitting next to Eiji wailed, praying to whatever God she believed in, to save her only son. "I think you should get back to your room" a voice said and when he turned, he saw his grandfather staring at him.

"Is he going to….?" Tsuna asked but his grandfather didn't answer him as he hooked his hand under Tsuna's armpit and gently tugged him down the hall.

"No, he's not" his grandfather firmly said but Tsuna kept looking back, watching as the woman held the rosary in her clasped hands, sobbing on her knees. He had done that…He had caused that woman… "Snap out of it, Tsuna" his grandfather said as the woman's image disappeared as soon as they were back in his room.

"I thought I was okay with all of this…that I could cope…" Tsuna said and as he bent down, he started to vomit in the trash can his grandfather had placed near his feet. Since he hadn't eaten anything for the day as yet, all that came up was a clear foul liquid.

"With power, comes regret" his grandfather sagely said as he placed a napkin in front of his face. Tsuna, when he was sure he was finished, wiped his face and took the offered glass of water so he could wash away the nasty taste from his mouth.

"What power?" Tsuna asked with a wince, as he lowered himself on the bed. "I feel like everything around me is crumbling, and all I can do is stand at the side watching because I have no power to do anything else" Tsuna whispered as his grandfather pulled the sheets over the lower half of his body.

"You know, I was there two years ago" his grandfather said as he placed the glass on the tray. He could see how tense Tsuna got but continued "When that kid made you eat that dog shit off of the street" Nana-chan had to physically restrain him from killing those fucking kids. He was that close to annihilating them.

"Why would you bring up such a thing?" Tsuna painfully asked.

"Because he deserved what was coming his way. You don't get to remain safe after picking on kids for all your life, Tsuna-kun. The world doesn't work that way because karma won't let it" his grandfather rattled off harshly.

"Unbelievable" Tsuna breathed under his breath. "How does that justify nearly killing him?!" he shouted and the one nurse who walked by, frowned.

"I'll just close this" she said before shutting the door of his room close.

"You feel you're above us, that you're above all of this…" his grandfather said, and Tsuna didn't like the darkness that started to cover the man's face. "…but I was there under that bridge, where none of you could see me. And do you know what I saw?" he asked and Tsuna sporadically grabbed at his sheets. "Even before you fainted, you had a smile on your face. So don't pretend that you didn't enjoy what you did to that kid. You damn well did" he whispered and Tsuna pulled the sheets over his head. "When you're ready to be the Tsuna I know you can be, we'll talk about the third initiation test so until then, stop lying to yourself. You're a Matsuoka, through and through. The sooner you accept it, the better this will be for all of us" he said before he stepped outside and closed the door behind him with a slam.


Thanks goes out to everyone who reviewed, followed and added this to your favorites.

It's like three am here when I finished this chapter. I'm tired, cranky and slightly depressed from writing this, so I'll respond to you all in the next chapter.

The next chapter will be updated (hopefully) by Friday for the latest.

IF I don't get hit by another nasty case of writer's block.