The morning dawned lazy and full of promise. Leia had breakfast before anyone else and hurried to visit her closest, dearest friend. She found him sitting up in bed already and finishing his breakfast.
"Good morning, early riser!" Luke greeted her with a big smile.
"Look who's talking!" Leia smiled back at him happily.
"Well, not technically," Luke amended her words with a chuckle.
Leia's eyes raised then to the massive black form standing closely beside his son. "Hello," she greeted him as well.
"Good morning," Vader returned her greeting politely.
She nodded at him and turned to the healthier-looking Jedi.
"What are you having?" she asked, staring at the yellow/orangish puree in Luke's plate.
"An apple puree," Luke replied. "I feel like a two-year-old, but it doesn't taste bad."
Leia studied the loved face.
"You look much better today. The dark rings under your eyes are fading, and your cheeks are rounder," she grinned exultantly. "He's getting better by the hour," she addressed the young man's father.
"Yes, he is," Vader nodded his agreement. "He slept soundly all night."
"Good!" Leia nodded back gleefully.
"And you?" Luke asked her.
"I slept like a baby," Leia sat down in the chair at his bedside. "Things are getting back to normal, at last. By the way, do you want Dr. Senna to visit you later on?"
"Sure!" Luke nodded. "She's a wonderful person and I'll be glad to see her again."
"That's settled, then," Leia said, turning gentle brown eyes to Vader. "Do you have any objections to leaving the room...?"
"Of course not," Vader didn't let her finish. "You don't have to ask."
"Thank you," Leia smiled up at the Dark Lord.
The door slid open and the nurse rolled in. Luke leaned back against the pillows, making room for her to take the bed tray. She rolled away and the door closed after her.
"Any ideas to kill time?" Luke asked.
"Actually, I have one," Leia said, following an impulse. "Will you teach me to meditate?"
Veritably stunned, Vader and Luke stared at each other.
"Do you mean it?!" Luke asked for the two of them.
"Yeah, I mean it," Leia replied calmly. "What's the matter? You're always talking about how I could use it to clear my mind and focus and all that," she blinked in confusion at their faltering. "Are you game or not?"
Father and Son looked at one another once more, and Leia could feel how they both reached the same decision at the same time.
"All right," Luke said, turning to Leia. "The first thing is getting ready. Your chair looks comfortable enough, so sit up straight and relax."
"You got it," Leia squirmed a little in her chair until she made herself as comfortable as possible. "Go on."
Vader took a seat in the chair on the other side of Luke's bed, and turned his eyes to his son.
"Shall we teach her by example?"
Luke's face brightened at the suggestion.
"I can't think of a better way to learn," he grinned at his father. He looked back at Leia, who was staring at them with an 'uh-oh' expression. He snickered. "Close your eyes. You'll see how easy it is."
"If you say so..." Leia trailed off warily, doing as she was told.
"Breathe deeply," Vader instructed. "Concentrate on the rhythm of your breathing, listen to it, and shut out the reality around you."
"Don't worry about anything," Luke took over from his father, suspecting what Leia had to be feeling at the moment. "It'll be safe. You'll always be safe with us."
Leia smiled at that. Luke had always known how to put her mind at ease.
"I know," she whispered to them, opening her heart in a way she'd never allowed herself before.
"Keep breathing," Vader insisted. "In... Out... In... Out..." the cadence of his voice was almost hypnotic. "Feel yourself floating away... Floating... Away..."
"Now look for us," Luke took over again. "We're right there... Right at the edge of your consciousness..."
Father and Son closed their eyes at the same time, and even though this was their first time, they flowed into each other as if they had been meditating together all their lives. They met halfway in a triumphant burst of Light.
"I... I think I can feel something out there..." Leia muttered softly, not daring to speak louder for fear of breaking her concentration. "A light... A bright light all around..."
"Yes..." Vader nodded. "You are there too... Lingering... Just barely there..."
"Focus on us but don't try to reach for us," Luke warned her. "Just don't lose sight of us... Good! Now..."
"...Expand your consciousness. It's warm and soothing out there. You are a part of it... And it is a part of you..." Vader's voice shook with emotion.
"That's the Force, Leia. Can you feel it?" Luke asked in a choked whisper, overwhelmed by the ineffable beauty of it. The beauty of them together. "We're all part of it. We all belong to each other in the Force... We're all one, we're all connected to the very fabric of the Universe..."
Leia's breathing was coming in short gasps. Faster and faster. It was heavenly. It was sublime. It was something that had to be felt to be believed! She wanted to cling to it, to be part of that all-encompassing Oneness... But the harder she reached for it the more elusive it became.
"No," Luke said, understanding Leia's aching need to touch that beauty in a physical way. "Don't do that. Just experience it, let it soak your soul, give yourself to it, but don't reach for it... No, Leia..."
The young Princess had never, never in her young life dreamed of an existence beyond the tangible reality that surrounded her. She'd never even conceived the possibility of an entire universe beyond her senses, beyond her very self. The shock of finding out just how much more there was out there, something that could only be touched through the heart and the soul, was the single most transcendental moment of her life. And like a greedy child, she wanted to hold it close and never let go.
"No, Leia," Luke persisted. "Step back, step back..."
The connection was broken and Leia opened her eyes with a keening wail.
"No!" she moaned like a lost little girl. "It's so beautiful, sooo beautiful..." hopeless tears streamed down her face.
Luke and Vader surfaced from their joining with an unfathomable feeling of grief and loss. Luke let out an anguished sob and Vader immediately reached for him. He grabbed his son's shoulder for dear life and squeezed the beloved flesh, reassuring himself of its reality.
Leia held Luke's hand desperately. Only his touch assuaged the abysmal emptiness that opened before her.
"Is... Is this what you feel every time you...?" she whimpered out.
"No," Luke swallowed hard, too moved to find the words. "It wasn't supposed to be this intense, this... this..." he struggled to find the one word that would define...
"...Much," Father and Son spoke in unison.
"I don't understand it, either," Vader's voice came out in a harsh rasp of air. "For a first time, it's not normal. For some reason, we... fueled one another."
"I... I'm almost afraid to do it again," Leia's voice trembled with awe and wonder.
Luke turned breathtakingly open eyes to his father. Vader nodded, perfectly attuned to his child's thoughts and feelings.
"Next time, it needs to happen in a more controlled environment. You will be out of bed and well on your way to full recovery," he told his son, "and you," he set his eyes on Leia next, "you must learn to reign in your emotions and not give yourself to them. It is not wise to commune with the Force with such unbridled level of passion."
"I never... I never knew..." tears filled the Princess' eyes.
"I know," Luke squeezed her hand. "You wanted to share in with us. But we were there as mere observers, to guide you in your first steps, not to join you."
Leia looked down, too shaken to say another word.
"We must take it slowly," Luke decided. "And act more professionally."
"I concur," Vader agreed. "But I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. It was beyond illuminating. It was..."
"Momentous," Luke turned loving eyes to his father and his dearest friend. He brought his hand to his heart, almost protectively. "I never knew it could be like this either. It was a... defining moment in my life. And I don't even know why." His eyes embraced the man who'd sired him. Their already unbreakable bond had grown far beyond their selves, beyond the Force itself, and he knew he couldn't exist without it. Not anymore.
Vader strengthened his mental shields, trying to reinforce the thin barrier between him and his child. He had to keep them apart, if only a little, or their future separation would shatter them.
'I'm doing it for you, Luke. Forgive me. My cherished little one, if you only knew how much I need this too. If you only knew how much I've craved for it! A kindred spirit that dispelled my fears and chased away my demons. If you only knew how much it's costing me to deny you!'
Leia's misted eyes observed them with a blending of understanding, heartbreak and dispirited resignation. She tried to fumble her way out of the outpouring of emotions they were unknowingly raining on her, but it was already too late. Those emotions were a part of her now.
She had to help. She needed to help them put an end to this pointless misery. But she couldn't imagine how.
The door slid open and Han, Lando, Chewie and the droids made their appearance, much to the relief of the three people in the room.
"Hello, everybody!" Han greeted them, displaying all the charm and easygoing affability that always broke the ice and put everyone at ease. That was his gift, and one that all those in the room thoroughly revelled in.
Vader, Luke and Leia shared a knowing look and a fond smile crossed the two young faces.
"What?" the Corellian asked, looking from one to the other.
Shaking her head, the Princess laughed delightedly, wrapped her arms around his torso and rising up quickly on tiptoe, kissed him on the cheek.
"Nothing, Han. Please, don't ever change."
The space pirate stared at her raising a suspicious eyebrow, but reading on her face that she meant every word, he just accepted them like the compliment they were.
"All right, I won't," he shrugged lightheartedly, taking her small hand in his. "How was your breakfast, kid?" he turned to Luke with a kind smile.
"Tolerable," Luke answered. "An apple puree."
"So now you've graduated to baby food?" he couldn't let such a priceless opportunity to tease his younger friend slide.
Luke threw him a withering look and Han's teasing smile widened.
"I may be the one eating baby food, but you're the one with a two-year old's brain," he countered drily.
"You're just jealous because I had Nubian chocolate for breakfast," Han wriggled his eyebrows at him comically.
Luke rolled his eyes.
Considering himself the victor in their verbal sparring, Han turned to the others.
"What do you people want to...?"
Before he finished his question, the door opened and Dr. Vilk walked in.
"I think I might know the answer to your question," he said, looking straight at him.
"Oh," Han tilted his head to one side.
Vilk walked over to his patient's bed, grabbed the bedcovers and threw them aside.
"Off the bed, young man!" he ordered. "You know the drill," he turned his head to Han again. "I think you might feel more comfortable if your friends helped you this time," he included Lando in his sweeping glance.
Both men stepped forward readily and went to Luke's bedside.
Luke slid over to the edge of his bed and put on his slippers. Han and Lando placed themselves each side of him and Luke wrapped his arms around each man's shoulders, rising to his feet somewhat unsteadily.
"Let's go," he braced himself and nodded to his friends.
Putting one foot in front of the other, the young man gave his first steps of the day.
"How does it feel?" Leia asked, grinning from ear to ear. This was the first time in weeks she got to see her dear friend on his feet, and she felt like rubbing her eyes to convince herself she wasn't dreaming.
"Weird," Luke replied. "I feel stronger than yesterday but also somewhat light-headed."
"Your sense of balance is a bit off after lying in bed for so long," Vilk reminded him. "When you get back your muscle tone you'll be walking around on your own in a minute."
Luke stared at him with a hopeful smile.
"Come on, keep going!" Vilk urged him, moving his hand impatiently.
With Han and Lando's help, Luke walked around the room back and forth. A couple minutes later, he sat down on his bed and looked up at his friends and his father.
"Definitely better," he stated, smiling widely.
Vilk gazed at him proudly.
"It's miracles like this that put us doctors in our place, so we never forget to give hope a chance, even in the direst of circumstances," his eyes turned to Leia and utter shame crossed his features. "You taught me a lesson of faith in the face of utter defeat that I'll never forget. If it hadn't been for your refusal to give up, this young man wouldn't be with us today. I want to apologize for my dogmatic viewpoint that almost led me to make a fatal mistake."
Leia's eyes softened.
"I don't blame you in any way, doctor," she shook her head. "Not that long ago, I'd simply have followed your advice. It just wasn't in the cards," her brown depths turned to Luke and then to Vader. "I had an ace up my sleeve that I wasn't even aware of."
Vilk followed her gaze to the Dark Lord. Unquestionably, Vader had played a crucial role in his patient's recovery. His fierce solicitousness and tender care had nurtured the young man back to health.
But it went far beyond that. Far beyond any medical explanation. Something he'd witnessed with his own eyes. There was an eerie connection between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker that spoke of something so abiding and profound that rose above moral standpoints and political loyalties.
He was no fool, he knew there was more to the Imperial's presence aboard than anyone was letting on. Something very personal that explained everything. He'd come up with several scenarios, some of them so outrageous and improbable that he'd discarded them as soon as they'd crossed his mind.
Whatever it was, he really didn't care. All he needed to know was that thanks to that unlikely bond the young man was alive, and while they were at it, maybe some steps had been taken to stop this galactic carnage.
He nodded to the kind-hearted Princess who'd accepted his apology in such a gracious manner. Clearing his throat, he turned to his miracle patient sitting lazily on his bed.
"I'll return in the evening to supervise your second walk of the day," he winked at Luke, unable to hold back his joy and satisfaction.
"I'm looking forward to it, doctor," Luke winked back at him with a nod.
Vilk left the room as Luke got back in bed, covering himself up to his waist.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking at his friends. "Could someone please give me a glass of water? I'm suddenly thirsty."
Leia filled a glass and handed it to him. The young man drank it dry.
"Thank you," he gave her back the glass.
The rest of the morning and the early afternoon were spent in idle chitchat. They talked about nothing and everything, totally at ease with each other, participating in the conversation whenever any of them had something to contribute, not once stopping to think of what they were doing actually meant.
At some point, Leia took a look at her chrono and met Han's eyes with a fast nod.
"If you'll excuse me," she began, rising from her seat, "I gotta go. The transmission from High Command should be coming any minute now."
Immediately, Luke's eyes opened wider and he sat up straighter in his bed, staring at her with a troubled look.
"Don't make puppy eyes at me," Leia smiled at him, squeezing his hand lightly. "I told you everything's fine and you know I'm not lying. We were told to approach the Kathol Sector and now I must know what our next move is going to be. Take it easy, all right?" she smiled at him warmingly.
"All right," Luke acceded reluctantly, releasing her hand.
With a nod to all those in the room, the Princess left.
Han, Lando and Chewie, who knew what else was at stake, made a conscious effort to not look at each other, lest they'd give themselves away. Lando resumed the conversation trying to get the others to join in, which they did, all too enthusiastically.
Vader observed the three friends, reading them like an open book. Something else was happening there that Luke and him had been told. And knowing this group's incurable idealism, it had to be something extremely juvenile, stupid, or both.
Blast it, he liked them more and more! What would he give to have been surrounded with people like them in his youth. Maybe then... But it was all wishful thinking. He was the sole responsible for his wrong choices and anyway, the past couldn't be changed.
But he could help create a better future for these extraordinary beings, and he would, no matter the cost to himself.
The animated conversation stretched on for over half an hour. Luke participated in it with monosyllables, throwing his father occasional interrogative – and worried - glances, that Vader did his best to ease with soft touches on his child's hand or shoulder, soothing him as much as he could.
Finally, the door slid open and a googly-eyed Princess walked in. She bore the expression of someone who'd just received the most shocking, unexpected news that had left them reeling and unable to react. She looked around and for a moment, it seemed she didn't recognize anyone in the room; but composing herself quickly, she took a deep breath and got back her bearings.
"Leia, is everything all right?" Luke was the first to speak, somehow managing to find the words faster than anybody else. "What did Headquarters say?"
Seeing everyone's tense faces broke the young woman out of her paralysis, and she shook her head.
"Oh, oh, yeah," she coughed a couple times and swallowed. "We are to remain in this sector and wait for further instructions."
"And it took them that long to say that to you?" Luke's eyebrows raised suspiciously. "Leia..."
"I met Dr. Senna in the northern corridor," Leia said abruptly, deliberately misleading her friends into believing that was the reason why she'd been delayed. "She's waiting for me to give her the go ahead. Would you like for her to visit you now?"
"Well... Sure, but..." Luke began, totally thrown for a loop by Leia's bizarre behaviour.
"Great!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands once. "Will you all come with me?" she told the others, holding out her hand and turning to the door. "The room's sufficiently crowded as it is."
After a couple seconds of indecision, humans, Wookiee and droids made for the door.
"You two can stay," Leia told Artoo and Threepio. "Keep Luke company while I tell Auren to come in."
The droids looked at each other and obeyed, huddling around Luke's bed, who just watched the others go with the most puzzled look on his face.
Vader was the last to leave his son's room. He was all too aware of the fact that the Princess hadn't spared a single look at him since she'd walked in. Something had clearly happened during the course of that transmission that concerned him. Something not necessarily good, judging from the young woman's demeanour.
Had the Princess revealed to the Council that he was on board? At this point in time, he strongly doubted she'd done anything to jeopardize his already precarious position, but still...
The instant the door closed after them she turned to him with a serious look on her face.
"Let's go to the observation room. There's something I have to tell you." She reached for the intercom and activated it. "Auren?" she called.
There was a second of static and then a soft woman's voice replied.
"Yes, I'm here."
"Luke's waiting for you," she looked at Vader with a nod.
"Thank you! I'm on my way," the unashamed happiness in the feminine voice told the Dark Lord that its owner was another good and kind person who truly cared about his child.
All of a sudden, whatever the Princess' news turned out to be, it didn't really matter. His son was very much loved by many. He would never be alone.
The notion warmed his heart. There was a certain peace in not being responsible for his own life anymore. Whatever his Destiny was, it lay in the arms of the Force.
He could live with that.
Leia made a sharp gesture with her head and the others followed her out to the long corridor, heading at a brisk pace for the observation room.
The Princess drew a quick intake of breath and turned to the four people who'd walked in behind her. She looked at them directly in the eyes before settling her gaze on the big form right in front of her. She breathed hard again and plunged ahead.
"It is my duty to inform you that you've been officially pardoned by the Alliance. As a defector, and taking into account the vast amount of invaluable information you gave us, you've been granted political asylum, effective immediately."
The ensuing silence in the room was thunderous. A silence filled with such astonishment and complete disbelief that it took seconds for the first person to react.
"W-What did you say?"
The young woman allowed herself to show the crooked smile she'd been holding back for minutes.
"You heard me. Now, is there anything you want to say?"
Lando, Han and Chewie looked alternately from the Sith Lord to the Princess, trying to grasp what had just happened there. Out of all the possible and probable outcomes, this was the wildest, most unimaginable one. And also the most practical and outright functional. It allowed the Alliance to save face after pardoning a criminal, while at the same time making the most audacious statement of compassion for those who bothered to look below the surface.
Vader appeared to have been rendered speechless by the Rebellion's decision, and no sound came out of him.
On the other hand, Han did seem to have something to say.
"You knew he'd been pardoned all along, and you left Luke agonizing over what was going on?!" he stared at the woman he loved in sheer incredulity.
Leia's gaze hardened on hearing those words, and a flash of hurt showed in her eyes.
"I have my reasons," she simply said, turning her head to her friend's father. "I want to know what are your intentions now that you're under no obligation to prove anything. Not to the Alliance, not to us, and certainly not to Luke," her brown depths burned with a clear intent.
Vader scrutinized the Princess' expression, slowly coming to the realization of what she was expecting from him. The Alliance's bold decision made more difficult for him to stick to the choice he'd made, and she was waiting for his next rationalization of it.
She would get no justifications or excuses from him. She would get the truth as he saw it. Nothing more, nothing less. He breathed deeply and spoke in earnest.
"I do appreciate the lengths you've gone to to ensure my safety, and I'm sincerely grateful to you and your High Council. However, my original decision stands."
"Even though it serves no purpose anymore?" Leia asked, pulling back emotionally from him in disappointment.
"We do not know that," Vader pointed out. "It is to your credit that you're all willing to risk your reputation, but we know that not everyone will be so forgiving. Your commitment to the Rebellion will be questioned by many the moment your association with me is made public."
A bittersweet smile crossed the beautiful features.
"We both know there are... ways around that inconvenience," Leia's eyes gleamed knowingly. "No suit, new prostheses, a new identity as Luke Skywalker's long lost father, and nobody will ever know who you used to be."
It was Vader's turn to smile poignantly.
"Secrets and lies have the nasty habit of coming out sooner or later, and always in the worst way imaginable. I will not let my child or any of you endanger your position pursuing a pipe dream," his tone was final. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I would like to spend my last hours aboard this ship in my son's company," he bowed his head courteously to all those in the room and turned about.
"Auren could still be with him!" Leia bit her lips the instant the words were out of her mouth. 'Fool! Stupid, stupid fool! You just made the most persuasive speech to convince him that there's a place for him in the Alliance, and in the next heartbeat you negated your own argument. FOOL!'
Vader's shoulders hunched imperceptibly, but he quickly squared them again.
"I can sense everything going on in that room," he stated with his back turned to them. "Believe me, she's not in there anymore." And with five long strides, he was gone.
A disheartening feeling of failure lingered after the Dark Lord's departure. Leia walked up to the wall-wide window and looked out for a few seconds. Then, impulsively, she punched the glass.
"Blast it. Blast it!" she exclaimed angrily.
"Pardon me for saying so, honey," Han approached the Princess and squeezed her shoulder apologetically, "but you screwed up with that..."
"I know, Han, I know! You don't have to remind me," the young woman walked away and began to pace the room in frustration. "I knew what he was going to say, and I thought I had a perfect counterargument for any pretext he'd throw at me," she stopped and looked down, shaking her head dejectedly. "Obviously, I underestimated him." She sought the comfort of the stars again and leaned her forehead against the glass.
Sighing, the Corellian joined her looking out. Chewie and Lando walked up behind them protectively.
"Why's he doing it?" he asked at last in true bafflement. "Did you feel anything from him using your... you know...?"
His almost superstitious hesitation brought a wry smile to Leia's lips. She moved back and stood straight.
"My... abilities aren't that honed yet. I can barely concentrate enough to feel... whatever it is I feel. Feelings, thoughts, sensations, moods... It's not second-nature yet, so I didn't use it."
"Sorry," Han said.
Her face turned pensive gradually.
"Still..." she spoke distractedly. "He's... confused... Torn. Lost. As if..."
"As if...?" Han prompted. He knew her. Force-sensitive or not, she'd always had an uncanny ability to read people. The most minute signs were a bright red light to her. That enabled her to understand people's fears and turn them into strengths. That's what made her such a great leader.
"As if..." she nibbled her lips, "...he didn't want to believe... No, as if he couldn't bring himself to believe..."
"That we're being sincere?" Han thought that was the craziest notion ever. "Come on..."
"No, no! He knows we're absolutely honest," Leia corrected him. "That's the only thing he's positive of. I think he believes it's all too easy. Too easy for someone like him to be pardoned."
"Well, we all agree on that," Lando's blunt words didn't belie the softness beneath.
"So, he's being difficult because he thinks we've been too lenient?!" Han's eyes looked about to pop out of his head.
"It runs deeper than that," the certainty in Leia's words told everyone that she was on the right track. "He can't bring himself to believe he..." she searched deep inside herself. What was the Sith Lord working so hard at hiding from them, from her? He knew it was useless. His love for Luke was written all over his mask and they both knew it. What was the ultimate truth that was keeping him from embracing that love wholeheartedly? "That... That he... deserves Luke's love," she spoke in a rush.
That-was-it! Finally!
Han drew back in shock. It made sense! Holy mother of droids! It actually made sense!
The Corellian dug deep into Leia's statement and ended up shaking his head at the absurdity of it all.
"It wasn't his choice to make and it's too late for that, anyway. Luke's love is gonna stay with him for as long as he lives," he shrugged casually. "So, he'd better accept it and stop making both their lives miserable."
"Unfortunately, the human psyche doesn't work like that," Leia reminded them. "I don't know a thing about his past - only a few assumptions here and there - but his current conflict is rooted in that past, not only in his incapacity to accept Luke's love after all the evil he's done."
"Well, as I said, he'd better sort it out," Han shrugged once more, "'cause he's not going to hurt Luke again," the decisiveness in his voice was absolute.
Leia's eyes softened at her beloved's keen protectiveness and ingenuity.
"Didn't you hear what he said?" she asked with weary, sad eyes. "His 'last hours aboard this ship.'" She made a pause for the words to sink in. "He's leaving shortly. Probably tomorrow."
Han started back.
"He wouldn't dare!" he exclaimed in offense. "The kid can't even stand on his own feet yet!"
"Wanna bet?" Leia met the green-brown eyes pointedly.
They looked deep into each other's souls, and Han lowered his head in acknowledgement.
"I'm afraid she's right, buddy," Lando agreed with the Princess.
"Yes," Han nodded. "It kills me to admit it, but yes. That's what he's going to do."
Chewie's small growls had everybody looking at him.
Han stared at his hairy friend, very impressed by his profound insight.
"He says that Vader must learn to forgive himself first. He must believe in his right to be loved, despite everything."
Leia gazed at the giant Wookiee in amazement, and a new light shone in her eyes.
"That's so true, Chewie," she nodded wonderingly. "But he needs time for that. And that's the one thing he won't give himself... Or Luke."
The disheartening feeling of failure turned into pure helplessness.
TO BE CONTINUED...
