:: Chapter Seven ::

Warm rays of sunlight teased Eliza's skin, tanning every inch of her body not covered by the pearl-white bikini she wore. A tender breeze greeted her in passing as it made its way along the shore providing just the perfect amount of cooling every few minutes. Blissfully she sighed and further down the beachside, Cyara and Selene chattered with joy as they build their sandcastles and dug out a moat.

"Mommy," Selene called out to Me'ghan over on the other lounger, "doesn't this looks just like the Sithadel?"

"Citadel." A correction came from Cyara.

Me'ghan lowered her shades and smiled, "It looks beautiful sweetheart, nice work on the towers." but Selene had already become distracted.

"Wells they should calls it a Sithadel if it's only for Sithy peoples anyways," she argued.

A fervent discussion erupted between the toddlers and Eliza chuckled. She sat up on her lounger and reached for the bottle of water next to her when she spotted Theron walking up to them. Her lips ran dry and for a second she froze, her eyes catching the extremely well-fitted swim shorts he wore. She'd never seen him quite like that—he usually wore jeans, a shirt, and his trademark leather jacket—and she more than appreciated the sight.

"Hey." His shadow fell over her and he smiled.

Eliza quickly readjusted her sunglasses and forced herself to look up into his eyes instead. "Hi, what brings you out here? I thought you had your final rehabilitation session today?"

"I do. Nyssa decided water exercises would be more fun than the treadmill and just as effective."

"Mmm, I agree. Are you still in much pain?"

"Some discomfort and the occasional stiffness but nothing I can't handle."

"Right." Eliza fought hard to banish the instant dirty thoughts that popped up from her mind and looked away. "Well, she's picked a beautiful day for it."

"She has." Theron awkwardly put his hands on his hips, missing the pockets his jeans normally provided, and let his eyes wander where he knew they shouldn't.

Flashbacks of their first visit to Rishi teased him and he thought of the night when they'd drank and danced. How his hand had accidentally grazed the swell of her breast, how he'd felt her body heat so close to his own and how she'd been pressed up against him. He allowed himself to remember how she'd tasted the first time they kissed and an inevitable reaction began to stir, much to his own horror.

Within his own mind, he began playing a game he'd played each day so far, ever since arriving on Rishi. He would force himself to think about something horrible and unattractive in an effort to distract himself from Eliza which led to an extremely random comment on his part.

"So you cut off Saresh's head huh?"

The comment was so unexpected Eliza splurted out the water she'd just sipped and stared up at him before she burst out laughing. "Yes, I did. Do you think the Senate will appreciate it?"

"Actually, yes, I think many will. She was a plague upon the Republic for far too long and I'm sure Chancellor Madon is happy enough finally released from the puppet master."

"True, but what if the puppet turns out to be worse than the master?"

"If that proves to be the case I'm sure you have another empty crate ready and waiting somewhere." Nyssa appeared behind them and chuckled.

Eliza laughed again. "Oh I do, plenty of them!"

Nyssa threw her a wink and wrapped her arms around Theron, nuzzling his cheek. "Hey babe, I just got a call from one of my friends back on Coruscant who's in complete tears because she caught her boyfriend cheating…"

"Let me guess—it's Caroline and you have to call her back which means I came out here looking like this for nothing?" he pretended to be upset but grinned through his words.

"Eliza can help you instead," Nyssa suggested, "right? Would you mind?" she looked to Eliza next who shifted somewhat uneasily in her lounger.

"Uhh, yeah, sure."

"See, problem solved!" Nyssa quickly pecked Theron's lips and rushed off yelling, "Make sure you give him a proper workout!"

'Really?' Eliza groaned internally at the innocently meant though suggestive comment but kept a smile on her face and got up.

A few loungers over, Malavai and Me'ghan leaned into each other exchanging whispers while they watched Theron and Eliza head into the water.

"I can't figure out if Nyssa's just extremely confident and trusting, or if she's testing them somehow." Me'ghan noted.

"Perhaps she's just oblivious to the chemistry between them both, or Theron hasn't shared the truth about their past." Malavai pointed out.

"That's possible… You know, I hate to say it because I know this is hard for her but I'm glad Theron's here. It seems his presence has distracted her from Ravage and for that I'm grateful."

"You and me both." He leaned in and kissed his wife affectionately.

The ocean was colder than Theron expected and he shrieked when Eliza rushed past him and dove straight in, splashing him along the way. "Hey now!"

"What? It's just a bit of water." She splashed him again and smirked. "Just dive under, the quickest way to get used to the temperature."

"Easy for you to say! Are you sure you're part Pureblood and not part Mon Calamari?"

"Do I look like I've got webbed hands and flippers?"

"You may as well have." Theron laughed and swam forward with her until their toes almost left the ocean floor.

Once deep enough, Eliza turned to face him and took both his hands to support him while he began exercising his legs and more importantly, his knee in rhythmic motions under water.

"This isn't too bad actually." Theron admitted after a few minutes of paddling.

"No, it's not. Nyssa had the right idea."

He just smiled and gave her a nod. He felt odd discussing Nyssa with her or even bringing her up—it always came with a twinge of guilt for him though he wasn't sure why.

"You know I never thanked you for dealing with those pirates. I saw the security footage you brought back from the warehouse…"

"You don't have to thank me Theron and isn't that what we do? You get yourself in trouble with some pirates and I kick their ass?"

The gentle waves of the ocean nudged them closer together and their fingers laced while Theron continued to paddle. "I suppose it's become a bit of a habit… you coming to my aid and rescue."

Eliza twinkled into his eyes, momentarily losing herself. "I guess some things just never change…"

"But you have. I saw the destruction you rained down on those Black Hoods and it didn't look like you lost control. You worked your way through them systematically and once it came time to stop, you stopped."

"Yeah. My emotions still drive me but I'm in control of them now. They're a motivator, a powerful one but they no longer decide my actions for me. I do that."

She hesitated and recalled one of their conversations years back when he'd found out what she'd done to Sergeant Rusk. When they'd decided to be just friends. "Does it… bother you? What I did to those pirates?"

With ease, he pulled her closer and tipped her chin up when she tried to look away. "No Eliza. I know what you're thinking but this wasn't the same. These men were criminals and no different from the Nova Blades we once fought. Besides, I'm… proud of you, at the level of control you have now. I know you used to struggle."

Theron ran his fingers through her hair and rested his palm against her cheek while he stared deep into her eyes and suddenly it was there—the moment he'd tried so hard to avoid. The moment where every ounce of him begged him to kiss her, to taste her lips again at long last and he felt himself waver.

Eliza noticed it too and felt her heartbeat racing within her chest, heard it pound in her ears as his lips inched closer to her own. Right now she wanted nothing else but to give in and complications be damned but one of those complications happened to be his wife and as soon as that thought reached the front of her mind, Eliza pulled away.

"I'd say that's enough exercising for now. Let's get back to shore before you start growing gills," she tried for levity and let him go.

'What the hell am I doing?' The thought crossed both their minds though neither said anything and quickly made their way back to the loungers.

"Here have a seat and I'll just run inside to get you a towel and see if Nyssa's done yet with her call so she can check your knee over one last time." Eliza spoke hurriedly and disappeared almost quicker than the words left her mouth.

To her great relief, she just caught the end of Nyssa's conversation and Eliza informed her Theron was waiting outside, then rushed upstairs herself. Without knocking she barged into Ravage's office, a fluster still lingering on her cheeks.

"Theron seems to have recovered fully and he's ready to get back out there. We should find a suitable job for him and Nyssa, perhaps a supply run of sorts." Eliza announced.

"We should?" Ravage quirked a brow and looked her over carefully.

Her entire body language was tense, she appeared to be pacing in one place and nervously pulled on her fingertips. The behavior was telling enough and Ravage casually leaned back in his seat.

"Have they expressed a desire to leave here?"

"No, but isn't that what they should do, what everyone does? I mean, Nyssa spent years sneaking medical supplies so I'm sure she'd love to continue contributing in some way and Theron just gets restless if he sits still for too long."

"Not everyone. Lord Cytharat is still here." Ravage corrected.

"Manaan! Theron's been there before and they have a massive research facility," Eliza carried on, "They used to harvest kolto there, did you know that? In any case, the Selkath may have something that could help us with… whatever. It would be good if we can get their support somehow… Oh! Or—"

"Eliza!" He interrupted her ramblings, "What's going on?"

She gave him a blank stare while she came to grips with her sudden panic and then straightened her back. "Nothing. Sorry. Forget I said anything."

Before he could question her curious behavior any further, Eliza was gone again and Ravage was left staring at the wet spot on the floor and the sand she'd dragged in and left behind. He smiled. Not because his original plan was working but because he'd resisted his own urges to take advantage of her. It would have been so easy too—she'd appeared wound up enough that she'd need little persuading, craving something no other man but him could give her now and yet he hadn't. He felt proud of himself but his battle wasn't over yet.

Down the hallway, he could hear the sound of running water and easily surmised Eliza had dipped into the shower. It took all his willpower not to follow her, and to maintain clarity of mind—he could only imagine what she was doing in there and the thoughts tormented him. The only thing that aided his resolve and brought him back to reality was the realization it wasn't himself she'd be thinking about.

By dinner time Eliza had pushed most of the near-kiss incident aside and by nightfall, it had been forced to the furthest reaches of her mind completely. She'd settled herself in on the sofa with her feet in Lord Cytharat's lap as he read one of his books and she flipped through the holovision channels.

"…came out for the funeral today. Supreme Chancellor Madon delivered an eloquent speech emphasizing the Republic's values and highlighting the many positive changes Leontyne Saresh—"

"Pah, many positive changes," Eliza scoffed and turned the sound off. "Have you heard from Praven?"

"This morning, he's on Voss now with the others," Lord Cytharat told her.

"Mm good. You miss him?"

"More than I should."

"How do you mean?"

He put his book down and poured the both of them a brandy. "I told myself after Tarek, I would not be so quick to give my heart to another again but here I am falling so hard for a man I've only spent a mere few days with.

"And now he's gone, he's out there on Voss and I don't know when we'll see each other again. With the state of the galaxy as it is now… Well let's be realistic—he could be dead tomorrow."

Eliza sipped her drink and frowned, somberly. "We could all be dead tomorrow."

Lord Cytharat nodded. "I guess I'm just afraid of getting my heart broken once more." He glanced her way and gave a wry smile, changing the subject and remembering he wasn't the only one struggling with matters of the heart. "Now speaking of broken hearts… how are you coping with Theron's presence here?"

She eyed him over the rim of her glass. "You know?"

"I tend to notice things and Me'ghan filled me in on the rest. You seemed so out of sorts after the shuttle crash, I worried. Is it something you want to talk about?"

"There isn't much to say," she said and let out a sigh. "Yet at the same time, there is so much, you know?

"I'm constantly going back and forth between 'I still love him so much', to reminding myself that he's married and if that's not enough, there's also the fact I'm… whatever it is I am. Stuck between married with my husband presumed dead and I don't know when he'll ever come home, when we'll see him again and to the world, I am a widow.

"But… truthfully, I'm not even in a place where I want a new relationship—I want my husband to come home—so it shouldn't matter that Theron's here now, that he's married and yet it hurts. It's difficult, painful and… stars, so confusing." Eliza emptied her glass and refilled it quickly.

"So even if he wasn't married, you still wouldn't pursue him now?"

"No. I… it would be cheating, right? Which I've already done to some extent with…"

"Ravage." Lord Cytharat concluded and reached for her hand in a comforting gesture.

She nodded with a fluster of shame on her cheeks. "The first time it just happened. I'd been drinking, feeling lonely. I hadn't known a man's touch or comfort in over three years and he was right there. Afterward, I justified it by telling myself it's just physical thing, I wasn't actually betraying Scourge's love on an emotional level and yet I feel guilty about it."

"Eliza." Lord Cytharat took the glass from her and sat it down before taking both her hands in his own. "If I may, and I did not know the man personally but, I don't think Lord Scourge would expect you to live out your days alone. To deny yourself while waiting for him, with no indication of if or when you'll see him again."

"No, he wouldn't," she admitted and recalled a past conversation she'd had with Lord Scourge, "he said as much once. He made me promise if anything ever happened to him, I'd not give up on life or love and I agreed but we were speaking in terms of death. He's not dead. He's just, missing."

"But if he were? If you, and I pray you don't, but if you were to find out he is truly gone, then what?"

"Then… Theron would still be married and I would never get in the way of that. In fact, from now on I think it would be best if I kept some distance between us. He's married, I'm married and years ago I broke his heart, encouraged him to find love elsewhere. Now he has and the last thing either of us needs is for me to complicate things all over again."

"And Ravage?"

"One hell of a lay but not worth the baggage and trouble." She snorted, bitterly and through her own misery before apologizing, "Stars, sorry, that sounded so crude. I just…" she blew out a deep breath and her words died out. In her eyes, Ravage was a whole other sort of mess in her life, one she just couldn't cope with or think about now.

"Hey, I get it," Lord Cytharat reassured her and smiled. "For what it's worth, cousin dearest, I'm here for you if you ever need to vent or talk."

"Thank you, that means a lot."


The following morning while Theron slept, Nyssa busied herself preparing breakfast for the entire household. Scrambled eggs, fried eggs, hard and soft boiled eggs while croissants sat in the oven and a large pot of caf brewed, its aroma quickly spreading. Once finished, she turned everything down low and headed back upstairs for her shower.

"Morning handsome." Nyssa smiled and kissed Theron's lips when she returned to their bedroom twenty minutes later. "Did you manage to get any sleep at all?"

All night he'd been tossing and turning, waking her every so often with quiet and incoherent mutterings.

"Hrm," he murmured and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He sat upright and gratefully took the caf his wife offered. "Thanks and no, not much. Did I keep you up?"

"Just a little but it's alright. What troubled you?"

"I…" Every memory he had of Eliza had torn through his dreams that night and culminated with Arcann ending her life. "I'm not sure, I don't remember," Theron lied.

Nyssa nodded and began picking out her clothes for the day when her eyes fell on the 'get well soon' card Cyara and Selene had drawn for Theron after he'd been injured.

"Babe… have you ever…" she paused and sighed, unsure of how to broach the subject, "you know, thought about kids?"

"Uh, kids?" He looked somewhat startled and confused.

"Having them, becoming a father?"

"Oh… in this lifetime?" The poor answer escaped him far too quickly but Nyssa smiled—she'd expected a mild panic from him.

"Preferably." She sat down next to him and took his hand. "Though not necessarily right now or even this year. Just, at some point, you know?"

"Right. Right, I suppose that's the next logical step after marriage."

A step he wasn't quite ready to take. Only once before had Theron considered the idea of children and that had been years ago when Eliza had shown him holo images of a pregnant Me'ghan. As they lay snuggled up on the sofa then he'd wondered what it would be like if Eliza were pregnant with his child and whose eyes their son or daughter would have.

"Well it doesn't have to be, there's always a choice. Just think about it?" Nyssa kissed his cheek and got dressed. "There's a breakfast spread downstairs if you're interested."

"You cooked for everyone?"

"We're guests here and I'd like to contribute. Everyone's been so wonderful helping you, supporting me, welcoming us both which is a little unexpected?" She made her side of the bed and sat down at the vanity table to do her hair.

"Uh, why unexpected?"

"They're all either Sith or Imperial. As pleasant as Lana's been in communications, I was a bit nervous coming here not knowing what to expect and yet they're all friendlier than most people I know back on Coruscant."

Nyssa applied a small touch of mascara. "Save for that Ravage guy, he gives me the creeps and is it just me or is something going on between him and Eliza?"

He nearly let the mug slip from his hands and stared at her, wide-eyed. "What?"

"You haven't noticed? Last week I walked in on them in the kitchen, his hands all over her and I think they were about to kiss until they saw me. And their arguing?" Nyssa carried on, oblivious to the growing look of anguish and disgust on her husband's face.

"It's almost like in one of those romantic comedies you know? They spend half the film making each other miserable, get drunk and wind up in bed followed by a morning of regret and 'what have I done'. Then they go back to arguing but slowly they realize they're in love with each other and they kiss and marry as the end credits start to roll."

Theron gave her a perplexed stare and Nyssa laughed. "Sorry, I've had way too much free time since I lost my job and I've been binge-watching everything on the rom-com channel.

"I have to say though, Eliza's far too good for a guy like Ravage, don't you think?"

"I… yeah I guess so…" he stammered, most of his thoughts still with the mental images of Ravage putting his hands on Eliza and he balled a fist under the sheets.

Nyssa mistook his dulled responses for tiredness and smiled. "I'm going downstairs and for a run, take your time waking up babe."

Once she was gone, Theron slid from their bed and dragged himself into the shower. A part of him had begun to wonder if coming to Rishi was a mistake. He'd been so certain his feelings for Eliza had greatly diminished and he'd be fine, especially with his wife by his side but he struggled far more than he'd anticipated. In fact, he struggled so much that in ways he resented Nyssa and her presence which in turn came with a serving of self-loathing.

'She's a good person, get your shit together Shan,' he scolded himself and turned to face the shower head, letting the water wash down his face.

He loved Nyssa, genuinely but it had taken him three years of doubt before finally accepting her marriage proposal. Her proposal, not his and there were still moments now where he asked himself if he'd done the right thing.

She made him laugh, she supported him through everything, showed understanding and she'd made him feel loved. Her heart was pure, she fought tirelessly for the less fortunate and always had a kind word and a smile for anyone they met. He'd convinced himself those things, and the love he did feel for her, were enough reasons to enter into marriage.

Doubt snuck up on him again now and he felt forced to admit, privately and only to himself, he'd perhaps settled for what he could have in the one situation where you should never settle.