Chapter Five
Dreamlike
I flickered open my eyes and in focuses a figure, his eyes simpered at me in the soft blue light of the room. He giggled and I was about to ask why he was there until I felt a cold hand slide into my underwear and I hissed at the contact. It felt like his hand was diving straight through the flesh of my astral body.
"Tweek..." I groaned and I could feel him tease me beneath the restricting fabric, he encased one of his legs around me. At this point I wasn't overthinking the situation like I would normally and Tweek ran his hands up my chest, he jumped on top of me and pressed himself against my crotch. It was absolute torture.
He bobbed down to kiss and leech on my neck as he continued to grind roughly against me and all I could do was whine in euphoria, place my hands tightly on his hips and succumb to his lips trailing up to my ear. I heard him breath hotly against me. "Oh Craig you're hard…" Tweek whispered in surprise and if this were any other time I would have told him how obvious his statement was but instead I could only but reply with another groan and I reached for my underwear, I brushed my fingertips down Tweek's abdomen and thighs as I went to discover he was already fully nude. I needed to get them off right away.
My alarm screamed, loud and intrusive of my dream. I sat up in bed and rubbed the back of my neck, a yawn escaped as I checked the time. "What the fuck."
My bed was empty, there was no one beside, under or on top of me but I could feel a slight damp patch beneath me and I cursed again under my breath. I had a god damn wet dream didn't I? I hadn't had one of those since I was fifteen! This was awful. I could remember the images so vividly like it actually happened and I knew now it would bug me all day if I was thinking about having sex, much less with Tweek of all the people I could dream about. However, it wasn't as if this were the first wet dream I'd had about another guy.
I clambered out of bed and stripped it of the sheets before discreetly shoving them into the washing basket in the hallway and jumping into a hot shower. I needed to wash this off me, forget it happened. So the overthinking tumbled in again...
I rested my body against the tiles as my brain went over and over Tweek's lips against my neck. Why would I dream of him that way? I'd never dreamt of having sex with someone I knew; I heard dreams were often caused by thoughts, right? So had I been thinking of Tweek that often and in that context? Absurd.
I remembered I tucked him into bed the night before and gazed at his lips; I was sitting beside him and watching him sleep for a little longer than I should of. Maybe it was something as simple as this that brought the sordid dream on. Whatever it was, not touching myself was currently taking a lot of restraint. School was going to be hell I knew that much.
When I stepped out of the shower I saw that I'd missed a call from Tweek, so after calming myself enough to talk to him I called him back and he answered pretty quickly.
"Oh, GAH, hey Craig" I felt like yelling "GAH!" myself right now.
"What's up, y-you need a lift?" I stuttered for some reason.
"No I just uh, I don't remember you leaving last night and to be honest I don't remember getting in my bed… So if I fell asleep I'm sorry."
I couldn't help but curve my lips into a smile as I thought about how overbearingly sweet Tweek was, apologising for such silly things. He interrupted my thoughts with a chuckle.
"Did you carry me into bed or something, Craig?" he laughed almost mockingly and I felt my cheeks redden and my face heat up.
"Ha, no, weirdo" I stammered over the phone and heard him smile again sigh.
"I'll see you later" and he hung up. I felt like mourning for his voice again but the feeling died down and I focused on getting changed.
School started slowly and I recognised two prying blue eyes gazing up at me through an orange parka throughout the whole of class, in fact it was pretty annoying and I lost my focus many times. I was good at math, but avoiding a hard was not my strong point.
When math class finished, the culprit was waiting for me outside class, he was leaning against the wall with a lollipop lulling in his mouth.
"McCormick what do you want?" I groaned, not at all in the mood for his antics.
"Not much dude just that your huge boner was practically waving at me in class" he quipped and my face boiled up as I looked down to my crotch in horror to realise there wasn't a bulge and I didn't have a boner. I looked back up to Kenny who was laughing and holding his chest.
"You should have seen your face! Man, you're actually worried about that aren't you? Wanna tell me why?" He nudged my shoulder and I pushed him away.
"Don't talk shit. Now if you don't need anything I'm off-"
"Ah, but I have money for you" he held out an envelope "Cartman says you need to take Tweek out on another date tonight and here's the reward. I owe you a dollar for my lollipops though."
Tonight? Why was Cartman always in such a hurry? It was crazy how suspicious it all seemed. This wasn't even a bet this was just straight up payment for taking a friend out on dates. What was Cartman getting out of it? But I didn't question it further, I squinted at the envelope and reached out my hand before I pulled it back again. An obvious guilt was stopping me from taking the notes, all of a sudden my priorities were beginning to change. A week ago I would've snatched it no question but something during the last few days had changed and I was reluctant to receive a "reward" for making Tweek happy. I was sure he wouldn't be happy at all if he knew I was doing this.
"You can't back out now" Kenny reminded me "but if you don't want the money I'd gladly take it..."
"You'd take anything" I told him as I grabbed the money out of his hand and inhaled the feelings of remorse deep in the back of my head. He chuckled and began to walk away before I stopped him.
"Where do you suggest I take Tweek? You know, I don't usually get to a third date"
"You could take him into your room, into your bed?" He smirked.
"I'm being serious"
"Ok, the shower then?"
"Nevermind" I began to make my way down the hall to English class when he caught up with me and began to explain something.
"I think Tweek's kind of like Butters. Neurotic, shy… Blond… But also reminiscent you know? So I took Butters to the seaside and a shitty tiki-themed motel. It was all I could afford but somehow it made him really happy. It reminded him of when we went to Hawaii together as kids" I watched as Kenny gazed at the floor fondly, passion glittered in his eyes and I almost couldn't believe it. Arguably the most obnoxious pervert in school was here talking about something that meant the world to him.
Kenny held the silence for a few moments before he shook his head and grinned up at me "that's also coincidentally where he lost his virginity." I pushed him away and rolled my eyes. Trust him to ruin a moment.
"Basically you're saying I should take him to somewhere from our childhood?" I asked and Kenny nod.
"Only if that's your goal though. When I took Butters to the beach I wanted to spend time with him and make him happy. Believe it or not I didn't want to just waste some time or get him in bed. I wanted to do something meaningful because I care about him. I suggest if you're taking Tweek on a date because you have nothing better to do or for Cartman's sake then go see another movie, don't give the poor guy false hope" and with that he left.
I was stunned to be honest. Never had I expected wise words to fall from Kenny McCormick's mouth, but they did and I understood every syllable. He was right, I'd have to put some thought and effort into this date tonight. I couldn't just throw him in an intimate situation with the opposite intentions. I guessed I had a few hours to sort out my conflict and decide whether I was in this for the money or for Tweek.
I sent him a text that instructed him to come to mine after school. I'd need the rest of the day to think of what to do with him.
Some time after school I heard a knock at my door and there stood Tweek in a green coat, his hair messed and his hands shoved into his pockets. He smiled up at me as I began to put my boots on.
"Oh, we're going out?" Tweek queried and I nod my head before placing my hand on his back and leading him out of the door again into the backyard where I'd polished and replenished the tires of my old bike. He looked at me with a puzzled expression and I chuckled.
"We're gonna go riding round Stark's pond" I told him.
"Really?" He giggled "why?" I had to think.
"Because… Well… We used to do that as kids and I miss being a kid with you, Tweek." His cheeks turned rosy pink.
"W-what am I gonna ride?" He asked me and I gestured to my bike.
"Unless you want to push me around then you're riding on the back of me, I'm doing the pedalling."
"I… Oh Jesus, okay, I'll take the back." Good choice.
I pushed the bike out of the snow and onto the road before I hopped on and Tweek sat on the edge, his arms wrapped around my abdomen like ribbons and his chest was pushed up against my back. I shivered and it wasn't from the cold. I couldn't say the same for Tweek though.
"You cold?" I questioned.
"Kind of… Just my ears and face really" he replied.
"Well I don't know about your face but…" I pulled off my hat and placed it over his flaxen nest and he blushed again; Once his teeth had finished chattering, I smiled warmly at him before we finally took off down the road.
His arms tightened around me and I knew I shouldn't have thought of such things whilst riding on an icy road but my brain went back to my dream where Tweek's hands were all over me. My back, my chest, my shoulders and face. As he gripped onto me for safety and perhaps warmth those flashbacks were triggered. However, I kept a stern and steady focus ahead of me and we continued to glide through the fresh air. I swore that I felt him nuzzle my back and it warmed me knowing he was comfortable and hopefully that he was enjoying himself.
We turned onto the banks of Stark's pond and continued up the muddy track through the forest of snow-capped pine trees. I hadn't cycled this route for years but I was pretty sure that both me and Tweek knew where we were heading and the best part of this all was that we were completely alone in the calm tranquillity of tall green trees, birdsong and the alpine pond side. No flashing images on a movie screen, no large crowds or fear of intrusive parents. Just us and the wind that embraced our faces.
I reverted back to what Kenny said and browsed the view around me to see the zen of Stark's pond and I realized that this was what Tweek would appreciate from me.
Another ten minutes passed and I stopped the bike. I felt Tweek lean his chin against my shoulder and smile "our spot" he murmured dreamily. I waited for him to jump off the seat before I followed suit.
We both approached the waterside and sat on the bank, a bit of distance between us that I was eager to close. The wind gently sloshed the water against the pond's bank as I passionately observed Tweek hug his knees against his chest and inhale the fresh air. There was a sad, contemplative look about him and I could tell he'd been keeping a positive strain on his face until now.
"Are you okay?" I asked him and he sighed. I took the opportunity to edge closer towards him, sincerely hoping that he'd confide in me.
"Yeah I just…" he trailed off "I'm just so overwhelmed" it was an odd thing to hear, or was it?
"Why is that?" I wondered aloud.
"I don't know. I missed you, Craig" he took a moment to peer up into my eyes "a lot. I'm a loner without you. I don't have many friends besides the girls. But even Wendy wouldn't appreciate this with me" he motioned to the surface of the pond and mountains before he sighed again. "I'm so happy that we're spending time together even though it's not even been two weeks. I haven't felt this… free since we were kids but at the same time I'm really sad that it took you so long."
I bit my lip almost too harsh. I had no words, he was right.
"Hey Craig, can I pinch a smoke?" Tweek asked quietly. My eyes widened and I scanned his expression for the punchline but he was serious.
"No way am I gonna be responsible for such a disgusting habit" I told him after I buried my hands in my pockets protectively. I always had my cigarettes in my pocket but I hadn't thought of smoking one all day, not with that dream stuck on replay in my head anyway.
He nestled his chin into his arms and gazed out over the skin of the water that reflected the sunset, a rich combination of peach and lilac.
"Idiot, I'm not a child" he muttered. The statement hit me close to home and I sighed before releasing my grip on the lights.
"No, no you're not" I smiled softly at him and passed him a smoke, I lit the end from his mouth before tending to my own and we both dangled our legs peacefully above the still water, ringlets of smoke waltzing with each other into the cold air. A comfortable silence bar the small sound Tweek made in his throat to conceal the cough.
"You know it's funny we go to the same school, live so close together yet we drifted so far apart" he paused to toke again and admire the beauty of the sunset while I admired the beauty of his face, his eyebrows pursed in thought.
"And yet… We were always so close together. We've gone back to this happy moment that I've been... Well, preserving... for want of a better word. Face it, we can't coexist without each other around to piss off and that's why you're my best friend Craig, you always will be. That's why you've come back, right?" Something was gripping my chest tightly and the dry, suffocating taste of smoke wasn't aiding to relieve it.
"I get what you mean, we were both on the same planet together but in entirely different worlds" I added as I flicked my crushed butt into the shrubs. It was the best way I could word it. Tweek stole a glance at me and smiled.
"You're in my world now" he almost whispered and I felt my cheeks redden, though I couldn't exactly pinpoint why, just the way he said it and the way he looked at me as he did so had blood rushing all over my body. He turned his attention back to the horizon and I admired him, his endearing face that glowed in the soft pink light of the sky and of course, he was wearing my hat. I could've lost it. I could've lost myself right there and then. It wouldn't have taken a second; no one would've known.
My head was spinning and screaming logic at me while my hands twitched and my chest told me to act upon my gripping impulse. After Tweek had crumbled his cigarette butt on the floor I shifted even closer to him until our elbows touched which successfully caught his attention.
I ran my fingertips down the woollen braids of my chullo hat that rested rather neatly on him as I kept my eyes transfixed onto his. I pulled the braids of the hat gently towards me and his head complied till our noses grazed one another and I felt his cold breath tickle my cheeks and become increasingly shorter. I wasted no time to capture his lips and then, I kissed him.
I kissed him tenderly and our lips cushioned against each other, eyes closed with my hands still weakly gripping the braids. Tweek's hands trembled in his lap and I could tell his face was heating up. I broke away and took my time to examine my work. His face was indeed slightly pink, outlined with the sunset, his lips still parted.
I was about to open my mouth to speak but I was interrupted by Tweek who jostled me back against the bank, his eyes glistened as he bowed down to kiss me again. This time I felt his lips move a little more and his hands brush over my bangs. I couldn't help but instinctively kiss back, this time my hands rested on his arms. Was I dreaming again? It sure felt like it.
Though I didn't really understand what it felt like, there was no other way to describe it other than a bittersweet tightness in my chest and that it felt right kissing Tweek. It felt more natural than kissing any girl had and somewhere in my left brain, that scared me. But I didn't have enough time to think about that until I gently gripped his arms and brought us back up into a sitting position. My hands rested on his knees as I continued to morph my face against his, only pulling away for air.
His mouth tasted of smoke and coffee and the soft murmurs he made were only dragging me back to my dream. I had to pull away again before I got too invested in the thoughts… At this point I didn't care that I was blushing profoundly and I could tell Tweek could see.
I gazed at him quietly and simpered. I'd been smiling a lot, something I rarely did.
"I had a dream about you" I confessed and Tweek cocked his head to the side.
"What was it about?" He whispered, tilted against my shoulder as he gazed out at South Park beneath the mountains from across the water.
I stroked his back and sighed contently. "Well you know... This and that. You may have been naked?" I felt him stir and begin to form a frown.
"Naked?" He echoed.
"Uh, yes."
"Pervert…" He muttered beneath his breath. I sat up to face him.
"The point is I've been thinking about you all day, Tweekers and I don't know why I just kissed you. I'm not even gay but..." I didn't know what to say "I…" he looked at me expectantly. Where was I going with it? What was I doing? My hands and my lips just told Tweek that I cared about him yet what I was about to say did the exact opposite... False hope. Like the idiot I was, I was about to do exactly what Kenny advised me not to do.
The blond inspected my eyes hopefully, flustered from the kiss and optimistic that he might've changed something in me. Even if he had, I wasn't willing to show him this. I let him go. "I should probably take you home" I told him bluntly as I rose to my feet.
"Oh… okay" he seemed disappointed but still followed me and mustered a half-assed smile. I could tell that my moment of clarity was lost. Regret and poignancy was starting to sink in and I was desperate to get Tweek home so I too could go home and then wallow in guilt.
He jumped on the seat behind me and once again curled his arms around me. As I pedalled through the forest, I felt his hand reach up and caress my face. I nuzzled into his palm, his cold fingers. My heart and my head were conspiring against me I swear to God… I was beginning to feel incredibly conflicted. As if I hadn't been conflicted in some way my whole life.
I dropped him off home as it got darker and I kissed him again in the driveway, he didn't complain. He kept my hat too.
I cycled home and slumped onto my bed before clutching Stripe to my chest and petting him as I glazed over my evening with Tweek. Kenny was right about it all, there was no denying that. But I didn't know what I felt for Tweek. I was a dumbass and I couldn't even tell if I was just caught up in the moment, subconscious side-effects of Cartman's bet or if I really truly felt something deeper than friendship for my old companion. Sleep was going to be harsh that night.
