Chapter Eight

Warm Inside


Tweek's house was always so balmy and welcoming. When one passed through the little cookie-cutter door, they'd be swallowed up instantly by the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the vanilla musk that adorned the furniture. Nothing had changed from when I'd walked in there ten years ago besides pieces of furniture, photographs and drapes. Apart from that, it was like walking into my second home and I was shitting myself.

My palms were clammy and I had an almost desperate urge to cling to Tweek's small cold fingers as he invited me inside. I was going to see his parents for the first time in ages. They had only caught glimpses of me over the last couple of years and now that I was… affiliated with Tweek romantically, or whatever it was, it felt like more than a guy having dinner with his friend's family. I had the instinct to impress them and me, the monotone grump that I am, was actually starting to feel self-conscious.

Mr and Mrs. Tweak still sported the same warm looks on their faces, aged only slightly. Tweek's mother had grown her hair longer than I remembered from before and his father had a slight shift in his attire choices but that was it. The Tweak family was stood before me and they were all absolutely lovely.

"Craig Tucker! My, oh my look at you!" His mother exclaimed as she scuttled towards me and circlined me like an excited dog. "You've grown so much!"

I could see Tweek behind his mother and father with a hand over his face in embarrassment and gave him a reassuring smile. I wasn't bothered that his parents were taking that weird interest in me that he told me about… To them I was just his tutor after all.

"I haven't seen you in so long, how have you been?" the chirpy woman asked as she took my jacket for me and hooked it on the hangers by the door.

"I'm fine" I told her. I couldn't think of anything particularly interesting to say. Had I been up to anything those days? Not at all, so what was the point in small talk?

"Well Craig, we're having chinese takeout for dinner, sound good?" She really did seem extremely happy to see me, she was prolonging the sound of my name as if I weren't real, just a figment of her imagination.

"Sounds great, Mrs. Tweak" I nod politely though I felt slightly awkward at the over-enthusiastic smiles the two were giving me.

"Oh please, call me Tabatha and of course, you know my husband Richard" she gestured to Tweek's father and beamed at me. "Oh it's just been so long!"

I scratched the back of my neck and twirled my overgrown mess of raven hair while chuckling nervously. What an odd position to be in, I wasn't even this nervous meeting (ex) girlfriends' parents but then again,it was easy to pretend that I liked girls. Dating boys was still something I was somewhat shy with… And by the look on Tabitha and Richard's grinning faces, I could tell that they knew. They could smell it on me, the pure lingering scent of a sexual identity crisis.

A blond figure bumbled in front of me, a twitch in the direction of his parents while dismising them to the kitchen.

"Leave him- GAH! we're gonna go study now" he groaned in annoyance.

"Alright, son just leave the door open" Richard cooed and I caught sight of Tweek blushing furiously as he gently pushed them away.

"D-dad just, AGH! Jesus Christ, stop!" He wasted no time to escape from Richard's grasp as he hurriedly headed up to his room, shielding his face from me when I decided to follow. God knows I didn't want to be left alone a moment longer with these people. Don't get me wrong, they were charming and friendly, more so than my own parents but their curiosity became intrusive and Tweek wasn't the only one blushing at this point.

Tweek timidly invited me into his room and I glanced around to absorb the sight. The last time I was in his room was when I had carried him to bed. It was dark so I didn't get a good look at the transformation he'd made since we were kids but it appeared like the rest of the house; there wasn't much of a transformation. He still had knex structures littered around the mess of his floor and superhero figurines guarding the shelves of books and various other wooden trinkets. Discarded clothes decorated his carpet and coffee cups guarded each surface. His bed harboured Terrance and Phillip plushies that sat neatly atop the pillow. I shook my head at the sight.

"It were almost as if you weren't expecting company" I smiled and bathed in the reminiscence of his room. My bedroom had matured with my age and was certainly much tidier but somehow, despite the mess a sloppiness of lifestyle, it was cozy and comforting to be in here with Tweek.

I quietly closed the door.

"Yeah well, I'm not so good at organising stuff like you" he muttered.

"Something else I need to help you with?" I smirked.

"No! Just homework, I'm still stuck on that stupid period thing and then I have maths and-"

"Calm down. Maths is my forte. I'm not too bad with the menstrual cycle too."

Tweek wrinkled his nose in disgust and I smiled at how cute he looked, grimacing at such a topic; though I wouldn't expect much less from a gay guy.

He cleared his desk and we studied for a good half hour. Throughout that time, I corrected him and showed him easier ways to remember things. I could tell he was really trying by the way he wrote notes of certain things I'd said and highlighted key points. I was quite endeared by that as we made small conversation about the week.

I didn't tell him about how my little sister had seen us together. It had been bothering me, yes, but I didn't want to talk about it. I'd get worked up and worried about nothing. But I knew my house was off limits for a while until this bet was up or until I could at least convince Tricia that she was just sleepy and delirious when she saw us kissing.

"Craig" a sweet voice pulled me from my thoughts. I'd been absent mindedly worrying again, I could tell by the concern in his nonidentical eyes.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?" He asked me quietly. I thought for a moment, I was but I wasn't. There was always just a permanent concoction of confusion mixed with guilt and angst churning in my stomach and bubbling up into my chest. Some moments I felt like it would rise through my throat and come pouring out of my mouth in choked sobs and desperate pleas but times like this, I could smile and make sure Tweek felt safe around me.

I didn't answer him straight away. I leaned down slowly and gently pressed my lips against his while squeezing his hand under the desk. It made me feel warm inside, and outside. As much as I felt like pouring my emotional innards to Tweek, I kept it to myself and hoped he'd hear the words in my movements.

"What was that for?" he grinned softly, his cheeks were pink.

"Just felt like it" I told him as I grazed my knuckles against his soft cheek. I could feel the peach fuzz that he hadn't lost yet tickle my skin and chuckled to myself. He was so fiesty sometimes, yet so delicate and innocent, the realization only proved further while surrounded by toys and mess.

There was never a moment when I was close to Tweek like that, touching him and staring into his eyes that I didn't feel guilty. Guilty about the money I was getting for spending time with him, guilty about abandoning him and guilty about the fact I planned to leave him and this whole town behind.

I felt a twitchy hand etch its way up my thigh and my heartbeat began to plummet.

"What are you doing?" I quirked a brow and he took it as anger; he shyly snatced his hand back and murmured apologies as he stared at his feet.

"I j-just, nngh, sorry" he tugged on his hair anxiously. After a moment of observation something possessed me to take ahold of his wrist and position it back to its home on my thigh. "No need to be sorry" I reassured him "I like it."

He looked a little surprised but also relieved. I could tell he was trying to be considerate of my feelings as he was aware this was different for me, at least that's what it seemed like. But truthfully I wanted him to do what he wanted. I was so indecisive about myself and my feelings, we'd get nowhere if he let me call the shots all the time.

His hand gently caressed my thigh; I hummed contently and tucked a rogue strand of gold behind his ear which then progressed to combing my fingers through his unruly mane.

Tweek leaned his head against my shoulder and impishly trailed his hand to rest between my legs. I could hear him swallow a lump in his throat as he daringly began to stroke me over my jeans, simultaneously placing ghost kisses to my shoulder.

I was slightly terrified and could feel my heart pounding against my chest like Jehovah at a door. I couldn't tell whether I liked it or not and unconsciously tightened my grip on Tweek's hair. I tangled my fingers through the soft locks as a hoarse groan escaped my lips when he pressed his palm against my crotch. It almost felt like the dream I'd had some time ago that I admit to him when we had our first kiss at the lake's edge.

Seemingly proud of himself, he spared a moment to observe my face which was no doubt slightly embarrassed but in his moment of confidence he tilted forward and once again joined our lips together, but much more firm with his grip on me down below and eventually his hands were wrapped loosely like spaghetti around my neck and he'd shifted into my lap, replacing the movement of his hand with the movement of his hips.

Everytime he pulled away I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning. Tweek, I realised, was a little more vocal in sensual situations and the sounds he made against my ear weren't helping me to regain my self-restraint.

His overbearing parents were just a floor beneath us and it had been long since they announced dinner. What if they came up looking for us and saw this? I couldn't have my sister and Tweek's mom and dad walking in on us like this. I broke our kiss and pried his hands from my neck, lacing my fingers through his as I spoke in almost a whisper.

"Am I going to fast?" He squeaked like a shy mouse.

"No" I replied "I want to do things with you but…"

"But..?" He seemed disappointed and rejected. I didn't mean to put that deflated look on his face.

I kissed his earlobe softly and proceeded to whisper "I'll take you somewhere tomorrow."

"A-are we going to go out?"

"No" I lightly inhaled. His hair smelled of green apple. "I'm going to…" I couldn't quite get the words out. It were almost as if I voiced it aloud, everything would become official. Then again, why was I scared of that?

Tweek wasn't as fickle as he let on and I was assuming he understood my drift as he nod his head gently and parted his lips as invitation for me to seal this session. I shackled my arms around his waist and hoisted him up further onto my lap so that he could look down on me, gingerly threading his fingers through my hair and smiling as he closed the space between us.

I closed my eyes.

We were in that little tree house, obnoxious eleven year olds all sat in a circle on the wooden flooring. There was me, Token, Kenny and Tweek and we were playing a game of top trumps. The winner would inherit the beer that Kenny snagged from his dad.

Loose and immature conversation filled the hut and I groaned in annoyance when Token beat me and took my last card. For some reason I really wanted to win the beer, unaware at that point that my dad was just as much a beer belly as Kenny's.

"For God's sake" I muttered as I fold my arms with a scowl across my face. Token laughed and attained another new card from Tweek. He appeared to be winning.

Kenny pat me on the back with a lopsided grin. "Don't worry buddy, next time." I glared at him.

Soon the game fizzled out and as expected, Token won our session of Simpsons top trumps and had the most award-winning smug look plastered across his face.

"It's not fair!" Tweek whined "you're rich, y-you can afford all the beer in the world!"

"I'm still a kid though" Token scoffed and noticed Kenny hugging his knees to his chest; hiding the smirk on his lips.

"Let's play dares" he suggested and while Token raised his alcoholic prize with a crescent moon grin, Tweek huddled inwardly. It was no secret he despised playing dares. Since he was the most wimpy of any of our friends, it was often fun to torment him; get him to do embarrassing things because he was gullible and skittish. Even I was guilty of daring him to follow through despite we considered each other best friends.

"Nnngh. W-why not play hide and seek?" Tweek stammered and the three of us giggled.

"Hide and seek is for wetty boys!" Kenny chided. Tweek looked down and twiddled his fingers, the poor boy knew what was coming.

"Okay, start with me" Token volunteered. Kenny was ready.

"I dare you to… Drink your beer in thirty seconds." We all gasped and edged closer to Token in awe who seemed a little unsure. However he laughed it off and cracked open his beer.

"What if I get drunk?" he asked.

"It's just beer" Kenny said simply.

"B-besides, your house is so big no one would even, GAH! Notice you stumble to your room" Tweek add.

I watched the conversation quietly until attention was turned onto me when I chuckled. "It's too early for drinking" I laughed. Kenny hit me in the arm in response and shook his head.

"Stop being a pussy hole" he hissed, whatever that meant.

Token finally nod his head in agreement and arched his head back as we started the countdown. We watched in excitement as the liquid began to drain from the bottle and his face contorted in disgust. He drew back and swallowed the beer as if it were cement.

"This is awful!" He coughed and we all shared a laugh but the countdown didn't stop and the dare wasn't complete. You'd be wise to finish a dare when Kenny was involved otherwise your forfeit would be twice as distasteful. With that in mind, Token sucked in a breath and emptied the bottle into his stomach in the last twenty seconds he had. Amazingly, he made it in time and we all looked at each other in shock as if we'd never seen anything so spectacular.

The look of sheer victory Token sported was evident and he ecstatically cheered, punching his fists into the air.

"There's still a bit there" Kenny broke the victory dance and Token elbowed him in return.

"Shut up man."

"Tweek next" Kenny grinned and we all knew it was coming. Every single one of us stared at the shivering blond lump beside me like hungry hyenas with mischievous grins.

"What should we make him do?" Token asked coyly.

"How about we get him to go to people's houses and tell them about the aliens again?" I offered.

"Or sneak into Bebe's garden and take pictures of the girls..." Kenny rubbed his hands together.

"No! We should get him to dress as a girl!"

"Yeah haha that would be hilarious, he already looks like one."

Tweek frowned and shook his head at each suggestion. "GAH! No aliens and no girls!"

"Should we go easy on him?" I faced Kenny, a little remorse for my best friend finally getting to me. He shook his head with a chastising smile.

"Okay. Well how about we start him off with a truth then" he looked over to Tweek "would you like that?"

It was obvious Tweek would certainly not like that but at this point it was definitely safer than a dare. Who knew what they'd make him do after everything he'd already completed in his life during a game of dares.

Tweek nod reluctantly and Kenny reclined against the pinewood. He seemed to be looking to me for inspiration.

"Um… Do you like Terrance or Phillip better?" I questioned and Kenny hit me again, much harder this time.

"Don't ask such weak questions, dude! If he gets out of dares, this has gotta be interesting." Kenny gazed up at the ceiling and pondered what to ask our victim until a light bulb blinked above his head and his lips curved upwards wickedly.

Suddenly, he was crawling towards Tweek like a cat to its prey and leaned in real close as he queried "what girl do you like?"

No one would expect a different question from Kenny, he was obsessed with girls and as much as I'd hate to admit, I had always wondered if Tweek had his eye on any girls; he seemed far too timid to ask anyone out or at least tell us that he wanted to do so. In the back of my gut, I'd feel upset if he did like anyone because he'd probably ditch me for her and I didn't like being lonely without him.

"J-jesus, GAH! Why?!" Tweek squealed and pushed Kenny away.

"Because we wanna know. There must be some girl you like." Token intervened.

"Is it Wendy?" Kenny grinned.

"No! She likes Stan." Tweek protested.

"Bebe?"

He shook his head.

"Lizzie, Esther, Heidi, Red?"

"I don't like girls!" Tweek blurted out, silence hollowing out the treehouse as his hands flailed awkwardly in the air. Kenny pursed his lips in thought before his eyes widened and he raised his brows high into the clouds.

"You mean… You like boys?"

All the color drained from Tweek's face as he waved his hands in front of him and shook his head frantically, twitching while Kenny and Token rolled around in laughter.

"No, GAH! I don't like boys! Or girls! I-I don't like anyone, okay!?"

"Alright, dude" Token calmed himself and I tilted my head in curiosity when I noticed Tweek steal my eye contact. His tinted eyes glimmered with fear, like his whole world had been invaded with that one question. I didn't know what any of it meant, really.

I'd heard my dad in the past use "gay" to insult things and even on one occasion he had told me that I looked gay when I wore a certain outfit or asked for a certain toy. They never talked about it in school and I'd never read about it in books or seen it on TV. Apart from Big Gay Al's TV show that was glamorized with fashion and stereotypes that made homosexuality seem like a joke. The concept of boys loving boys and girls loving girls was hushed and hidden. It was a delicate subject kids like us shouldn't be thinking about.

Tweek didn't love boys though, I'd seen him hold hands with Red before. I almost thought he might admit he likes her to us when Kenny asked.

"Have you ever fancied anyone?" I asked my friend after thinking about this. I was the least to say intrigued.

Tweek blushed and gazed down to his wormy fingers, picking at his nails shyly. "I-I… uh, maybe once."

"Who!?" We all gasped in unison.

"N-no it doesn't, GAH! Forget it" clearly we weren't going to drop the subject though.

"Have you kissed her?" Kenny asked and Tweek shook his head violently.

"I… Haven't kissed anyone I like before" he confessed.

"You're kidding! We've all kissed someone at least once on the cheek and in here as well, this is the kissing shack" Kenny explained "even Craig kissed in here!"

Tweek shifted awkwardly and frowned when he heard that. I knew it was something he didn't like talking about from previous experiences. He too was worried that if I started dating someone I'd ditch our friendship. But it was no lie, I had my first kiss in here with Stan's sister a few months ago. She was older and had an awful crush on me. No one really knew how we managed to kiss with that huge armour on her face but the truth was that I kissed her on the cheek and avoided her ever since. I guess it's not counted as a proper kiss but I didn't want to tell the guys that… No doubt they'd torture me the same way they were currently with Tweek.

"We need to get you kissed" Kenny announced as he tapped his finger thoughtfully against his chin.

"N-now?!" Tweek squeaked.

"Yes!"

I felt bad for him, he looked mortified. Fortunately for my friend though, there were no girls around here and the majority we knew were gathered at Bebe's sleepover, there was no way we could intrude that without being attacked by a bunch of female creatures.

"There's no one around, we should just let him off" I murmured, sneakily attempting to protect my buddy who looked like he was about to throw up out of nervousness.

Kenny now gave me my third hit and karate chopped my crotch with some strength and the small crowd went silent, watching as my face boiled with pain and I crouched forward, whining at the strike.

"Y-you bastard!" I yelled, raising my middle finger at him and he chuckled maniacally while I cradled my throbbing injury. It really hurt.

"I told you to stop sticking up for him. I feel like giving you a scary dare now" Kenny turned to Token and they shared a small nod and smirk.

"Kiss Tweek" Kenny ordered and the pain in my groin came to a halt, my mouth hung open. No way did I hear that correctly.

"No!" Tweek yelped, his face the complexion of a cherry.

"Yes!" Kenny growled "You've never kissed anyone and Craig is being a dick. Just peck each other."

I glanced over to Tweek with grinded teeth and he desperately attempted to look anywhere but my eyes. I should have realised then how scared he was and I should have thought about why but I didn't. I looked over awkwardly to Kenny.

"But… boys kissing boys is wrong" I whispered.

Kenny stared at me and assessed the pure look of confusion in my eyes. Even back then, he could see inside me, he knew something was wrong with me.

"Love is love" he told me and he seemed sincere despite the fact I knew that he was just repeating something he'd heard on the radio or whatnot.

"But I don't love Tweek, like that I mean."

"But you still love him don't you? Like the way you love me?"

That wasn't true. I loved Tweek far more than I loved any of my other friends. He was my best friend; ever since we were children we were inseparable and no one could come close to the adoration I felt for him. Certainly not Kenny McCormick.

But for the sake of not having to explain myself I sighed and nod in defeat. Kenny seemed awfully understanding for an immature kid who only ever talked about pornstars.

I crawled towards Tweek and he shivered anxiously. His eyes widened like an alarmed rabbit's and his head was shaking at me, so fast that I could barely read his expression. But I knew above anything that he was scared.

"Don't" he warned me but I didn't listen. I quickly closed my eyes and pecked him before I backed away to raise my brows at Kenny and Token who seemed pleased as they burst into laughter. Tweek, however looked like he was about to burst into tears. I'd unconsciously exposed him.

I should have seen it back then. How much more serious that kiss was for Tweek than it was for me. He liked boys and he knew it. He liked me, and I didn't know it. By that simple short-lived kiss I'd given him a reason to hold onto someone who was going to hurt him repeatedly for the next few years and he had no idea.

Not a single clue.

"Craig."

A voice tore into my moment of reminiscence and I opened my eyes. I was faced with two mismatched orbs staring into my soul and my arms were wrapped tightly around his hips, drawing him in as close as he could possibly be. I wanted to kiss him more but I needed to keep my control or I'd lose it. I could've lost myself in him right there, I could have.

He wanted to say something but he cut himself off. He knit his brows together and his hands jumbled amongst one another shyly as I loosened my grip on him, the warmth escaped my bones as I did so.

"I uh… love…" he swallowed and my breath hitched; time froze on its spot. This was something I wasn't able to hear right then and my heart hadn't beat that fast in such a long time. "I love chinese, it's m-my favourite" he forced a smile at me and I returned it softly, stroking his hair. The chinese would probably be here soon.

"I know you do" I told him. I leant into the crook of his neck and sighed. "It's not good for you though…" I whispered under my breath, almost inaudible as I let him rock me gently side to side.


A/N: There will be more flashbacks in the future because it's nice to explore how the characters found (and in some cases didn't find) themselves.

Thank you for all your support.