Note: Last chapter! I might write an epilogue, but I also like where this one ended. So for now, I'm going to say it's finished. Thanks to everyone who stuck with it to the end! I hope you enjoyed it!
Eddie had managed a believable story to the doctors-they had been downtown when the 'sinkhole' opened and had managed to survive under the town for a few weeks, feeding on rats. Eddie had told them he was old Dr. Keene's great nephew, Brian Tanner, that he had planned on finally picking up the remains of the inheritance from when the old bastard had died. He knew he couldn't expect Richie to stick to a lie so he just told them exactly who he was.
Richard Tozier wasn't supposed to be dead so there was that too.
Sure, Eddie could have just used his real name as well, it's not like they had confirmed he was dead. But he wanted an out in case he wasn't able to face Myra and tell her goodbye one final time. It was a selfish thing for him to do, but he was sure she would die for him if he asked. She didn't deserve what Its child might force him to do to her with that kind of undying loyalty.
Eddie had moderate control over the creature at best. He couldn't risk doing anything too rash. Not after what had happened with Richie.
Speaking of the man, he was gazing tiredly at Eddie when the cramps in his body managed to stir him awake.
"Richi—" Eddie started.
"Don't," Richie cut him off, sighing. Eddie's cringe was barely visible. Richie was still there, but that meant he remembered Eddie's betrayal. Eddie looked away, he understood.
"I'm not sure if I forgive you yet."
Eddie looked back up at Richie-who was gazing at the window.
"Yet?" he asked, not daring to hope. Richie sighed again.
"I know why you did it. I got enough from the other two to understand what the plan was," Richie said. "I know you were trying to get us both out with as much intact as possible. I know what they put you through… I just wish-and I don't know exactly how much control you have, I just…"
"I should've told you more. While you were still in California. I could've then-I tried-it was-I just-I didn't," Eddie faltered for a moment. He took a deep breath, still missing his inhaler. "Part of me didn't want to drag you into this! That part wanted me to just give in, sever our link so it was just me. But I knew… I knew what they would do to me. I-I didn't want to be alone. We're nothing when we're alone, I'd just go back to being the fragile kid with asthma who couldn't go against his mom to the point where he married her…
"And it's not like they helped. I-I know it doesn't excuse it or make what I did go away, but I was so upset-so angry that you-of all people-left me and I became the thing I-we hated and feared most. And that thing kept feeding on those feelings and making them worse and just… I couldn't take it anymore.
"You were the only one who stepped in when Bill was in trouble. You were the only one who-who I stepped in for, who I actually sacrificed myself for. I guess I convinced myself you owed me. And I know that's not true, I just-I'm sorry, Richie. I'm so sorry."
There was a moment of silence in the hospital room.
"You're right, you were selfish and just because you apologize, doesn't make it go away," Richie started. Eddie flinched more visibly this time. "I don't owe you anything…
"But that doesn't mean I wouldn't have come."
Eddie finally met his eyes, feeling the lump in his chest grow.
"Even if I had known everything.
"You meant-mean a lot to me, Eddie. I always admired that you were honest-I mean it was always difficult for us to lie to each other, but you were always first to acknowledge your mistakes. I wish you would've told me coming in. Maybe I could've helped or…
"But at the end of the day, what's done is done. If we're going to make… whatever this is work, I need that honesty. We need to have a long talk and I need to have it with you-not the thing inside you."
Eddie nodded, tears forming in his eyes. "I don't know if—"
"You'll figure it out or I'll just kill us both to get this over with," Richie interrupted him with a Voice Eddie had never heard before. The tears fell immediately from his eyes, whether in fear or regret or some other emotion, he was unsure.
Eddie nodded again and set to talking, using all his will power to repress the screaming thing in his mind.
It took several hours for both of them to come to a consensus. Nurses and doctors interrupted them constantly, but they slipped into normal conservation with ease as if they were children with an inconceivable secret again.
Eddie usually did not repress Its child for this long of a period of time-it usually became incensed with him and made sure to make its displeasure known in the pain Eddie felt throughout his body. He just hadn't had the energy to do so in the past few weeks, but in the moment, he felt an old, familiar power coursing through his veins despite the pain.
Richie told him that the remnants of the other children were weak-nearly gone from the damage he had dealt-though Richie said he felt they could regain their strength and fortitude if he didn't keep them under tight check.
"Maybe it's something like the powers we had, as long as we believe in them hard enough, they hold true," Richie had said, laughing. Eddie couldn't help but think about how hard it was to believe when they were adults.
Richie continued with what he knew, what he figured would eventually happen to them as hosts to other-worldly beings (nothing good, either of them hypothesized), what he wanted to do despite what had happened.
Eddie told Richie what their plan had been, how much control he shared with Its child, the weeks in the sewers, his view of the Outside, everything. He couldn't help apologizing again and again before Richie punched him in the arm, telling him to shut up.
They talked until they felt exhausted again and kept talking, reminiscing, considering options for the future. They called Mike from the hospital, though he didn't answer. They considered calling Bill or Ben and Bev, but neither of them had any way to find their numbers.
They sat in silence for a while as the sun set on the day, trying for a semblance of comfort.
"Should we just…?" Eddie trailed off. He was holding Richie's hand, running his fingertips over the knuckles. There were bandages from where Richie had punched the shade of It.
"Off ourselves?" Richie finished for him, never one to shy away from the raw truth. They both considered it for a moment.
"No, I think that was Stan's way out," Richie finally replied. "I think we're too deep in to really get out of it now."
Neither of them mentioned how it hadn't helped Stan anyway, that they both knew he was in the Outside now so far away from any of them (and yet he felt close enough that maybe they could just…).
They didn't speak about it beyond that though. The wound was still fresh, probably would never heal to know that they had failed one of their own so terribly.
"No, I think we need to head toward some semblance of a future. Even if we managed to do it, there's no guarantee this would end. Sometimes, I honestly think it was never our mission to eradicate It from this world.
"Sure the Turtle put us in charge of that-made us believe it was our purpose. But I don't think he ever expected us to succeed. No, I think he just wanted us to destroy as much of Its stain as possible."
"We managed to get pretty far," Eddie conceded, smiling tiredly. "3 out of however many hundred isn't bad."
"Maybe 1 and a half at this point," Richie chuckled. "We did good. We halved the survivors. I think we deserve a break."
"I think we deserve a vacation," Eddie giggled. Richie beamed down at him.
"I have a few more days and a couple thousand in cash," He wiggled his eyebrows. They both broke into sleep-deprived cackles.
Eddie wiped a few errant tears from his face, considered Richie for a moment, then nodded.
"If you can walk, let's get the fuck outta this shithole."
"If I can't walk, you're fucking carrying me."
They were gone before the next nurse rounds, leaving only questions, folded sheets, and a missing wheelchair.
