He had to hand it to Scott, the man could run. Alan was still able to recall the terror on his brother's face as he took off towards the beach. He had missed most of the argument, being pulled into the lounge as he came down the stairs. Virgil gave him the 'not one word' look that accompanied most serious situations. And then Gordon was yelling. Not unusual for the aquanaut when it came to their oldest brother. Alan had glanced at John, sitting on the couch, unsure of when he'd snuck down. His face was a mask of calm. And then Scott had said it. The one thing they weren't supposed to talk about. He hadn't intended to gasp, it had just come out like he'd been slapped in the face.

Alan was grateful Virgil had been there to take care of Gordon. He didn't think he could handle that right now. What he could do was make sure his oldest sibling didn't do anything stupid. There had already been enough of that and they hadn't even had breakfast yet.

He skidded as the dirt path turned to sand, arms pinwheeling to catch his balance. The trees ahead quickly opened up to the view of the cove, glowing in the morning sun. Any other day, it would have been a perfect place to spend with his brothers. As he caught sight of the brunette sitting along the edge, his head resting in the palms of his hands, he realized no amount of sunshine was going to help.

Slowing his pace, Alan stepped up to the fallen log, pausing a moment to stare down at his brother, before taking a seat himself. He let the sound of the softly crashing waves calm the beating of his heart as they sat in silence. He really wasn't sure what he was going to say. Yes, Scott had messed up, but it wasn't his fault that they were even in this situation. The chaos crew had created this. They would just have to work through it the best they could.

After a few minutes of sitting on the empty beach, Scott spoke from between his hands, his voice thick. "Is he okay?"

The blond sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Not sure. Virgil was with him when I ran after you. He'll be alright, Scott."

"You can't know that." The uncharacteristic cry of despair made Alan's heart sink. "I told him, Alan." Scott lifted his head, tears streaking down his cheeks as he stared out at the ocean and rocks surrounding the cove. "He might not have ever remembered and gone on thinking it was just an accident."

"You can't know that." Alan mimicked, earning a flash of annoyance from his distraught brother. "Gordon could have easily pieced things together. He's already started having dreams about it."

The elder's eyes turned in confusion. "You knew about that?"

He nodded. "They started yesterday. He told me about it when we were in the pool." The memory of listening to his brother talk about being unable to move as a giant bird pecked at his face sent a shiver up his spine. "We all knew it could be a possibility." They fell silent again, Alan figuring Scott was finally calming down. "So, what set you two off so early in the morning?" He watched the line of his brother's jaw tighten and wondered if he'd asked the wrong question for this particular moment. The silence that followed told him he wasn't going to get an answer.

"Do you ever think-" Scott stopped, the words catching in his throat as he looked up towards the sky, seemingly at nothing in particular. He rubbed his hands over the knees of his jeans, absently. Alan could only imagine what was going through his mind. "Do you think we give too much?"

Alan frowned, confused by the question. "Give too much of what?"

"Ourselves. Our lives." Scott was shaking his head. "Alan, when was the last time any of us just lived like normal people?"

This line of questioning seemed to be coming from out of nowhere, but Alan was pretty certain it would lead to what was really bothering his brother. "Scott, we're Tracy's. We don't do normal."

Blue eyes met blue. "Maybe we should start."

"Scott." He gave his brother the best exasperated sigh he could muster. "I don't even think that's possible. There are five of us. We wouldn't last five minutes before someone got bored of it and started up some kind of drama. I mean, John can barely handle being on Earth, much less being normal here." He smiled, giving his brother a nudge with his elbow. "Besides, I don't think 'normal' exists. Everyone's got something they do that sacrifices a part of themselves. I mean there's school, work, kids, friends, family, even strangers. No matter what you do or where you are, you'll always be giving away part of yourself. Might as well make it something worthwhile, you know?"

A chuckle, albeit slight, brought a dimpled smile to the weary face. Progress in the right direction. An arm gently cuffed the back of his neck, pulling him closer to the brunette. Alan returned the embrace. Whatever his brother had been getting at was lost to the calming sound of the ocean as they sat, keeping each other company. "You need to stop growing up." Scott smiled. "You're making me feel old."

The blond grinned. "Well, that's because you are." He shrieked as the hug turned into a headlock, laughing and pushing at the strong arm around him. Scott laughed at his youngest brother's dismay, and even though Alan would be losing this battle, he'd already claimed victory over the storm as it past. His family would be okay for one more day.

OoOoOoO

Virgil's gentle hand continued to run through Gordon's hair as he lay on his side. The aquanaut's room had been their immediate destination after he'd collapsed on the patio. John had been there for a short time, helping to get him comfortable. A shudder ran through him at the pulse of memory that had been brought on by one word. Tortured… Gordon wondered if this was normal, for one slip of the tongue to bring a person's memories flooding back with such clarity that just closing his eyes he could see her standing over him. It didn't seem likely, but here he was, unable to hold himself up under the new information that he had been physically abused for nothing of his own doing. Somewhere, floating at the back of his mind, there was a feeling of relief at finally knowing what had happened. The accident hadn't quite lined up with his injuries, and the fact his brothers couldn't, or wouldn't, elaborate had been driving him up the wall.

A protective hand came to rest on his shoulder, the other still tracing through his hair. He must have done something to alert Virgil. "Take a breath, Gordo."

He did, realizing his lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen. Tears had sprung to his eyes again, sliding down onto the pillow. He just wanted it all to go away and never have to think about that room ever again. His hand reached up, grabbing the one on his shoulder and pulled it around him. His older brother took the hint, sliding down from his sitting position to hold him tight against his chest. There was a light sniffle from Virgil, and he realized his brother was fighting back the emotions just as hard as he was fighting to block out the pain. New memories were taking the place of the nightmare. Ones of the dark haired brother sitting next to his hospital bed looking tired, his face streaked with tears. It had been one of the first things Gordon could remember after waking up from the accident. He remembered it being weird, seeing his big brother crying. He couldn't remember ever seeing Virgil cry like that, not even after mom died. The big brother part of him knew Virgil was just trying to appear strong for his two little brothers. Especially during the funeral. Gordon had done the same for Alan when their father had gone missing. Big brothers just weren't supposed to break.

Gordon's eyes shot open to a darkened room, his hands gripping the sheets under him. When had he fallen asleep? Virgil's arm was gone and immediately he was back in that house. The panic was fast approaching as he tried to push himself up on weak, trembling arms. His breathing was ragged, eyes darting around to find any sign of familiarity. Heart pounding at the pain in his muscles, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, feet scrambling for purchase. He fell, knees crashing into the hardwood. And then someone was behind him placing strong arms on his to steady him. His mind set off an alarm and he pushed against the form, desperate to escape his tormentors.

"Gordon, calm down." Scott's voice broke through his mind's illusion and he slumped against the his the form. Light flooded the room as his brother turned on the bedside lamp. He turned his eyes to look at it, seeing the overly tacky hula girl and shade covered in scallop shells. Scott hated that lamp. The arms were back, hooking under his to help lift him back onto the bed. He caught hold of his brother's wrist as he pulled away, inwardly cursing his unsteady grip. How had he lost so much progress in just one day! The tears were back, unwelcomed in his frustration. "Hey, Gordo, I'm here." Scott was kneeling within his eyeline, placing a shaky hand of Gordon's. "I- I'm not going anywhere."

He didn't let go, pulling at his brother until he could wrap an arm over his shoulder in an awkward hug. A startled cry from the eldest brother was all he heard as he buried his face into the soft blue fabric of his shirt. Gordon's six-year-old self was back, crying as he told himself that Scott could fix anything, no matter how broken it was. Right now, he felt fractured.

A gentle hand held the back of his head, supporting him as he hung over the edge onto the brunette. "I'm so sorry." Scott's whisper was thick in his ear. "I never should have-" Gordon felt the tremor as his brother's voice caught. Something warm splashed against his cheek, rolling down to mix with his own tears. "Please, forgive me... I'm so, so sorry."

Something solid clicked in his mind and all thought veered towards his anguished brother. Gordon pulled back, looking up with watery eyes into his elder's face. Scott's eyes were downcast, unable to hold his gaze due to the immense guilt. Guilt, Gordon knew, his brother didn't need to be holding. He hadn't put him in that room and done those things to him. Yet, here he was, apologizing like he was the one who caused it all. Another big brother crying because of him. Gordon reached up and wiped away the closest drop of moisture, blue eyes blinking in surprise as Scott pulled back, using the back of his hand to erase the tracks from his cheeks. The blond felt a small smile cross his face. "There's nothing to be sorry for." He shook his head when it looked like his brother was going to argue. "This was going to happen eventually, no matter how hard everyone tried." He felt the pin pricks behind his eyes again, thinking of what his brothers had done to keep him safe. He pulled Scott back into an embrace, wanting nothing more than to ease his brother's heartache.

After a long moment, Scott sighed. "I'm supposed to be the one making you feel better." Gordon gave a slight laugh, surprised that he could. Something had changed in the space of a few minutes and now his heart felt lighter. He was still pretty certain he wouldn't be sleeping in the dark… or alone for a while longer, but he was able to step back and appreciate what he still had. And what he had was an amazing family who refused to give up on each other.

Gradually, a question began to develop. He frowned, not really wanting to ask, but desiring to know the answer. Gordon caught his brother's eyes, now watching him with a hint of concern. "Um…" He paused, his nerves screaming at him to leave well enough alone. His mouth wasn't listening however. "How did you guys find me?"

Scott paled, slightly. "Are you sure you want to talk about this right now?"

True, it was all still fresh since the slip up earlier, but the nagging question remained. "I just… I'd like to know."

The elder brother sighed, standing to take a seat on the bed next to him. "We aren't entirely sure, but if I had to bet, Fuse found you and activated a homing beacon. Not sure why, but he seemed pretty determined when I found him."

He stared, unblinking at his brother as if the words were foreign. "Fuse… is alive?" Scott nodded slowly and Gordon felt the tightness in his chest grow, threatening to suffocate him.

"Gordon?" He couldn't see the concerned look flash over Scott's face. The emotions were pressing down on him as the words sunk in. Fuse was alive… "Gordon, breath!" A ragged breath and then rage engulfed him. He was up before he knew what was happening, needing to move with the sudden flow of adrenaline. Scott was up with him, trying to be the calming force in the sudden change.

"He was alive the whole time?" Gordon was yelling at nobody in particular. "She- she didn't even check? I went through- thr-" He was falling, legs unwilling to hold him, lungs burning with exertion. Pointless! Why hadn't she checked? Arms were tightly wrapped around his chest, holding him up as he knelt on the floor. A soft hush brushed past his ear, the calming words breaking through the anger.

"Gordon, slow down, kiddo." Was he going too fast? His thoughts were catching on the words along with his breathing and he realized Scott was holding his hands cupped over his mouth. Hyperventilating… He closed his eyes, focusing on each breath as his head began to swim. He let his brother hold him, gently rocking until the intakes were slow and even. "Alright, now?"

Gordon nodded, letting his hands fall from his mouth. He leaned back into his brother's chest, content in the security. "Sorry…"

"Just take it easy, Gordo." His brother shifted behind him, manoeuvring the blond's arm over his neck. "Back to bed." On three, he stood, lifting Gordon with him. The attack had reversed the effects of his rage, leaving him feeling small and pathetic. Even more so as Scott brushed away the tears that were escaping from the corners of his eyes.

He brought his hands up, hiding the amber eyes rimmed with red. "Scott…" Gordon could feel his brother move a little closer, a hand coming to rest on his arm. "What's gonna happen if I can't-" The memories from the poolside were coming back in vivid detail. "I don't want to stop helping people."

There was a deep exhale from the older brother, as he paused before speaking. "You'll get through this, Gordon. I don't doubt that." Scott paused, seeming to consider his words. "What I doubt is my ability to keep you safe… all of you."

"You can't… not all the time." Gordon let the hand covering his face fall to rest on Scott's. "And we can't just stop. It's dad's dream."

"I don't think dad's dream involved any of this. He would understand." There was a great deal less fight behind his words, but Gordon could still see the resignation.

"No… but it's never been a safe venture regardless." He watched his brother sit silently on the bed, illuminated by the tacky lamp. "And it will always be worth the risks."

That had Scott looking at him, brow knit in confusion. "Worth what you went through? Gordon-"

The blond rolled reaching for the drawer of the bedside table. He tugged feebly at the nob, laying at the wrong angle for leverage. With a huff, have gave up. "Could you open that?" Arm hanging off the bed, he watched as Scott slid it open, revealing the binder inside. Gordon took hold of it, grunting as he pulled it free. He let it rest in his torso, giving his brother a meaningful glare. "You tell anyone about this…" The threat floated through the air between them.

Still confused, the brunette took the binder and carefully opened it. Gordon watched his brother's eyes widen. "This is…"

"Thank you notes and little things from rescues. See the tabs?" He pointed to the pieces of plastic protruding from the pages. "Yours says 'Scooter'."

A light chuckle as Scott found the tab, pushing the other sections aside. Gordon smiled as his brother's mouth dropped open. His fingers were trailing over the images and cards of smiling faces. Some were in hospital beds, on the mend after a building collapse, others posing with loved ones. Scott turned the page, his eyes glued to the intricate display. He stopped at one image, finger tracing the edge of the photo.

"You can take it out." Gordon knew just which one his brother had found. The picture held two images, one next to the other for comparison. On the left, a little girl no more than three years old, covered in dirt and grime, an oxygen mask covering most of her small face. On the right, the same girl, only she was older, her smile bright. The flood had been about four years ago. They had nearly lost Scott. He'd gone in to rescue the girl's family when a surge had swept him and the little girl away. They'd found them about a mile away, wedged between a tree truck and a car. Scott had lifted the girl up, keeping her free of the onslaught as water washed over his head, the glass of his helmet shattered. It had been close.

"You keep all of them?" He slipped the photo back into its place, turning another page.

Gordon nodded. "Most of them, anyway." They were silent as Scott continued through the book. "They make it worth continuing." His hand caught the corner of a page his brother was turning and he pulled out a card. "This one's from a doctor. You and I helped get power back to that hospital in San Diego. He says we saved nine people on life support who wouldn't have made it if it weren't for international rescue."

Tears were glistening in his brother's blue eyes. "You're asking me to choose between the world and my brothers."

"It's not your choice alone to make." Gordon let the seriousness steady his voice. He knew his brother's would need a say in their future, but right now he had to convince Scott that shutting down IR was the worst option. "We can't control everything that happens to us, but we can make sure others get a chance to live if we're their only hope."

Scott finally let the book close, placing it back in the drawer. "I swear… you and Alan are getting way too good at this." Before Gordon could ask, Scott bent down, placing a kiss on top of his head. "When you're up to it, we'll talk to the others. Family decision."

Content, Gordon smiled. "Sounds good." A hand ruffled through his hair and he laughed in protest.

"Sleep now." Scott stood, moving over to a chair, Gordon realizing his brother must have been there when he first woke up.

Taking hold of the comforter, he pulled it back over himself, sinking deeper into the pillow. He smiled, realizing the light was still on, creating a warm glow in the dark room. Leave it to Scott to make sure he felt safe. Letting his eyes drift closed, he spoke softly. "Hey, Scott…"

A quiet 'hmm' floated across to him.

"Thanks… for staying." No matter how long it was going to take him to get his life back to a sense of normalcy, he knew his brothers would be with him.

"Any time, little brother." He could hear the grin in his brother's voice. "And don't think I didn't notice how much bigger 'Virgie's' section was."

"Hey…" He fussed, sleepily. "I can't help it if you never take me with you." A yawn and he could barely hear the laugh, or the quiet 'next time'. There would be a next time. He'd make sure of that.