Chapter Fourteen

Prove It


"Let's go to the creek" a fourteen year-old Tweek grinned at me before he turned to look across the water of Stark's pond. It was a great white winter, much like this one; it was bitter, cold and magical. The snow fell on curious ground and as the seasons were changing, so was something

else in the air.

We had fixed our bikes together, polished them till they were squeaky clean and spent our Saturday racing through the forest to our creek where we could get a clear view of the sunrise. Tweek, being the ecstatic character that he was, rode ahead of me through the the thick blanket of nature and snow, his unkempt golden hair flowed through the cold rush of the wind.

I'd been chasing him on the wheels, dodging trees and laughing but I never quite got fast enough to reach him, much to his delight. It turned out I didn't even need to catch him before his front wheel hit an unexpected rock hidden in the snow and he went tumbling across the floor.

My reaction time was little to nothing before I slammed on my brakes, jumped off my bike and sprinted towards my friend to aid him, my heart palpitating at the thought of him hurt.

"Tweek, are you okay?!" I asked while I checked his face for signs of injury. His eyes were brimming red and he sniffed, trying ever so hard to stiffen up a lip and resist crying. After more inspection I realised he'd scuffed his knees and palms. If that wasn't bad enough he'd also twisted his ankle; I knew this because he winced when I gently moved it around.

"You're such an idiot" I told him airily before I scooped up a handful of snow and held it against his knees to soothe the graze. "Do you think you can walk?"

His hands clutched to my shoulders as I hauled him out of the snow and instantly he hissed in pain once his feet touched the ground. He wrapped his arms around me tighter in fear I might drop him. I assessed the situation and decided we wouldn't be making it to the creek after all, he needed to rest.

"I'm taking you back. We can't ride with your ankle" I announced "and let's hope you haven't sprained it."

"GAH! I'm sorry, Craig" he twitched against me.

"It's fine. But we need to get you cleaned up."

Tweek let out an apologetic sigh and begrudgingly followed me as I guided him towards his bike. He was hopping on one leg that left single footprints in the snow and he began twitching too which made it very difficult for me to support him. I thought that under other circumstances, this could look pretty amusing.

"I-I can't ride, I don't think" Tweek stammered.

"I know. I'm riding your bike, you can fit on the back."

"But, uh, what about your bike?"

"I'll come get it later."

"Craig what if-"

"Stop worrying, I have it under control, you're safe."

Eventually he gave in defeat and awkwardly seated himself behind me. He clutched onto the bottom of the seat with his hands and made a useless job of his legs.

"Hold onto me" I ordered "and keep your feet up, don't get them caught in the wheel."

"O-okay" he was used to taking my orders.

Tweek wrapped his spaghetti arms around my torso and held onto me tightly before he hoisted his feet away from the wheel and leaned his face against my back. Despite the odd twitch here and there, he was keeping me warm and his arms felt like a strong seatbelt. I could tell he was nervous, he was nervous about most things after all, but beneath all that I also knew he trusted me and right now I was simply dead set on getting him home and tending to his ankle.

"Ready?" I asked. Tweek nod his head and I pushed off and made sure I was keeping to the dirt path and being cautious to avoid the snow and ice that could cause another fall. The extra weight wasn't easy but at least Tweek was secure and still behind me.

Actually, the ride was quite pleasant. It was tranquil and quiet all besides the birds that chirped in the trees and the tires of Tweek's bike that scuffed over twig and twine. I could hear his breath, soft against my back, almost as if he'd been lulled to sleep by the gentle sway of the bike. I'd enjoy the ride more had I not had to focus on keeping my passenger safe by making sure his feet weren't falling into the wheel as well as being on the lookout for pesky black ice.

Soon enough the roofs of the suburbs poked out from behind the pine trees and we were nearly home.

When we finally made it to the Tweak residence, I helped him into the house, plopped him on the couch and wasted no time in locating the first aid box. I came here so often when Tweek's parents were at work, I practically knew where every nick nack was in the home. When I returned I gently pulled his snow boots and fluffy socks off his feet and then lifted the legs of his pants up to reveal his reddened knees.

"You don't need to do that, I'm not a baby" the blond huffed from above me. I cocked my head to the side and stared up at him, as if this wasn't the first time I've had to clear up his clumsy accidents. To this, he could not argue.

Despite his annoyance, I cleaned his grazed knees with antiseptic wipes and covered them in his star-patterned band aids. I grinned up at him when I was pleased with how neat and tidy I'd made his knees look. He frowned and ever so slightly blushed before he folded his arms and defensively pulled his pant legs back down.

"Get on with it, and stop smiling like that!" he hissed. I held back a chuckle as I moved onto his ankle. The area had swollen very quickly, all around his ankle and down to his foot was raised and hard, it was difficult not to stifle a laugh at his idiocy but on another, more serious note, it looked pretty bad.

"It's sprained. Well done" I deadpanned.

"What?! GAH! What am I gonna do?!" He spluttered.

"Calm your shit, it just needs some ice and compression. You shouldn't walk on it for a few days though" I informed him calmly and began to wrap bandages from the first aid box generously over his ankle.

"When did you become a first aid expert?" Tweek scoffed.

"Since I became friends with you" I smirked and he snatched my hat off my head.

"You're so fucking funny Craig."

"It was pretty funny to see you falling off your bike to be honest because you, like, flew off it and face planted the snow. I should've filmed it, I would have got paid for that."

"Y-you're, that's mean."

"I know."

I snipped off the bandage and tidied the first aid box then I stood to my feet to observe Tweek. All jokes aside, I did feel bad for him that he was so accident-prone and me taking care of his clumsy tendencies became a regular thing, not that I minded it that much.

Tweek turned the TV onto an episode of the Terrance and Phillip show, a show I'd grown out of over two years ago but still had to sit through because of Tweek's unconditional and irrational love for it.

"Put your foot up on a cushion, you've got to keep it high" I told him.

"Okay, okay, I get it" he rolled his eyes and lifted his sore ankle off the floor.

"I'll put this in your room in case you need more bandages and stuff" I showed him the first aid box and made my way to the staircase. I was completely oblivious that the next five minutes was going to change everything.

"Can you get me a blanket please?" He asked before I disappeared up the staircase.

"Sure."

I made the familiar route to Tweak's room and shook my head at the mess of lego, clothes, and coffee mugs strewn across his floor and furniture, his bed unkept and something spilt on the bedside table. If I was in a particularly good mood I might've taken it upon myself to tidy the monstrous mess that was his bedroom, but there's only so much a fourteen year old boy can do for his friend before it became extremely weird.

I set the first aid box on his bedside table and grabbed the quilt off his bed only to reveal something I should never have taken a second glance at.

The corner of a notebook poked out from under his pillow, staring at me, intimidating me. I reached out and took it in my hands and started observing what on earth it could be. Tweek wasn't one to revise or anything like that, but the book looked well used, in fact it was nearly falling apart.

Sheer curiosity caused me to drop the quilt and take a seat on the mattress before sheepishly turning to the first page of the mysterious book Tweek kept under his pillow. It was then that I realised it was his diary, a diary he'd tried to hide no less. Tweek tells me everything and if he hadn't ever told me about this diary then already I knew how personal it must be. All of a sudden I felt a little overtook by a few emotions regarding the said book. I felt annoyed he hadn't told me he kept a diary, despite the fact there's no real reason for me to know or care about that. I was also curious as to what secrets he possibly had. But lastly, guilty because of how bad I wanted to invade the book.

No, this is wrong I thought. Friends don't read personal diaries. But then again, friends don't keep things from each other, do they? I was thinking of every reason I had to read Tweek's diary without guilt but there were none. It wasn't my right to impede on his innermost thoughts.

I liked to think I was a good friend to Tweek... trustworthy, reliable, patient… So with that in mind, I shoved the diary under the pillow but only seconds later I found myself pulling it out again and pushing the rational and logical thoughts to the back of my mind in order to feed the raging intrigue this diary had given me.

The first entry was a little over a year ago. I could just about make sense of Tweek's aggressive handwriting and realised that I recognised this event. He'd spent thanksgiving round my house for the first and last time. Frankly, my dad made him quite nervous that night. Despite that, I recall it was quite a fun evening and the Tweak family definitely went home well fed. However, this entry didn't interest me all that much.

Tweek had written the date and time of his entries; most of them had been composed in the early hours of the morning and his presentation was atrocious. His handwriting slanted across the lines, word after word was scribbled out and his spellings could do with some serious work. But it's not as if he expected anyone to critique or let alone read this besides himself, so I let him off.

He'd written some crazy stuff that I briefly scanned over, mostly about his hyperactive thoughts, school and conspiracies. So far I hadn't seen a single bad word about me when I was almost positive he'd use this diary to bitch about me, at least once. For better or for worse, he only ever wrote about me with great respect.

It was all fun and games casually flicking through the pages until I reached the latest entry written only two days ago.

It's getting harder to keep this a secret from Craig. I told my parents last week that I'm gay and they actually took it really well but I'm scared Craig won't have the same reaction.

I had to read over that line a few times just to make sure I'd read it correctly. I couldn't believe my eyes. He's... gay?

This seemed like too big of a secret for him to hide. Tweek wasn't good at hiding things, especially from me. He felt too under pressure with his own secrets, so if he was gay he'd have let that slip the moment he knew it himself. But… Perhaps not? After all, he wouldn't write this for no reason..

What was more baffling was the fact he'd think I'd react badly to this. I wouldn't treat him any different if he was into guys, would I? Progression of acceptance had gotten a lot better in South Park over the last couple of years; now was a good of a time as ever to come out if you were homosexual. I'd like to think I'd support Tweek the way I support his other decisions but deep inside myself, I wasn't sure if that was true. Homosexuality is still a taboo in the Tucker household.

As I thought intently about the subject, things began to make a lot of sense if what I was reading was true. Such as the way Tweek would always shy away from girls and his rather stereotypical love of theatre. Actually, there wasn't anything specific that made him seem gay. He was still Tweek, the same boy he'd always been. So why did I feel so differently about him now?

How do I tell Craig I'm in love with him?

Suddenly my throat became dry and my fingers began to quiver. Surely I had not read what I just read.

In a moment of pure panic I flipped back through the book and searched for my name, for something that would contradict the nonsense Tweek had written. It only got worse.

I keep thinking about the tree house all those years ago. We didn't even kiss properly but I still think about it sometimes.

He'd hate me if he knew, I just know it.

Being gay isn't very logical is it? But I guess love is illogical then too? Because I feel pretty stupid falling for my straight best friend.

Craig told me he likes Annie, he said they have a date next week and he looked so happy. I cried when he left and I feel so stupid because I shouldn't be sad if my best friend is happy.

He's been distant recently. I think it's because he got a new girlfriend. It's getting really hard to pretend to be happy about this. Maybe I should tell him.

I don't know what to do. Why would he even consider a freak like me anyway?

Here, in distraught writing across the pages, was Tweek's turmoil; his most guarded secret that no one was supposed to know. He was in love with me.

I read each confession over and over just to make sure I hadn't missed the little note underneath that said "haha, fooled you" but there was nothing. This had come from Tweek's heart and my head was spinning. I felt like I'd be sick for reasons unbeknownst to me. I was so surprised, confused, angry and then somewhat relieved? I didn't have a name for this emotion. It was completely illogical.

What made it worse was that I actually didn't have a problem with my best friend falling in love with me, in fact, I dare say I felt a few butterflies in my stomach. But that's what made it more terrifying… What if I was… gay? If Tweek could question it, so could I. I guess I never thought of it too much.

I'd done with Tweek all that I'd done with my past girlfriends. I'd held his hand, slept beside him, took him out for dinner, met his parents, embraced him, carried him. This was a side of myself I only reserved for Tweek, a series of events that made me feel content. Was that what love felt like?

The sound of Tweek yelling my name from downstairs pulled me from my thoughts and I realised I'd spent far too long up here, pondering, panicking… Perhaps if I closed the book, forget I ever read a single stupid word then everything would go back to normal. I cursed at myself for letting my curiosity get the better of me, for I was unsure of what to do with myself; with what I knew about Tweek's feelings for me.

Even as I returned the diary to its original hiding place, took a deep breath and made my way downstairs, nothing had subsided. I still felt as nauseous and worried as ten seconds ago. I still felt at loss of what to say or do.

"What took you so long?" Tweek's big glassy eyes gazed at me from behind the couch. I couldn't read them, I couldn't understand what they meant.

"I went to the toilet" I told him quietly.

"Oh? You better have lit some incense then." He was totally unaware I'd just stripped him of his privacy.

"Yeah..." my voice drifted off.

"Dude, you forgot my blanket."

"Oh, I'm sorry I-"

"Craig, are you okay? You look sort of pale."

He looked worried, worried for me. I had no idea why he cared about me so much, what was it from me that he wanted? What was so special?

I remember, that was the moment I had my first ever doubtful thought about myself, the first time I began to hate myself. Back then I thought it was because of Tweek's outrageous feelings; it was his fault. But in truth it was because I realised that I'd began lying to myself about who I was, I began hiding.

"I need to get some air" I announced finally. I grabbed my hat from the couch and hastily made my way outside, doing all I could to avoid his tantalising emerald eyes but they followed me, even when I was out of the door.

They've been following me ever since that day.

After I left his house, I retrieved my bike from the forest and rode it for hours to nowhere in particular, just around the mountains and by the pond. I pedalled my little legs until they collapsed outside my front door and I trudged inside, drenched in sweat.

I decided I had to distance myself from Tweek, or his feelings would only grow. The outcome of that was… petrifying to me. I started hanging out with him less, I absorbed myself into my school work, football and girls. I took up smoking too. Admittedly, all of this took the edge off the confusion I began to feel when I was around Tweek; I even began to forget about things we'd do together, the little details that made our friendship so sacred.

Tweek may have known that I read his diary, he could've figured out that I knew about his feelings for me but ultimately, he had no idea as to why I left him. He could've thought of anything; like that he wasn't good enough or that I hated him. I made abandoning him look easy but truthfully, it was the hardest thing I'd ever put myself through.


"Dude, are you okay?"

Kyle was beside me in the changing room getting into his kit as well as trying to wake me up. I hadn't realised that I'd been staring aimlessly into my locker and thinking intently about Tweek.

Surprise, surprise. Even after my great come out to Kenny I'd done nothing but mope around, feel sorry for myself and avoid texting Tweek. I didn't know why I was acting this way.

I knew just as much as Kyle that I needed to fix myself up and get my head in the game. I'd even got a haircut for this damn game. In less than twenty minutes the South Park High Cows would be taking on the Middle Park High Cowboys for the highly anticipated game of the season. I'd worked my ass off to practice for it too, but now the time had finally come, I hadn't the emotional or physical energy to bring myself out on the field as the reliable team captain.

"You need to buck up, Craig, you realise our whole team have been sweating this season's practice right?" Kyle frowned at me with his hands on his hips.

"I know. I'm working on it" I groaned.

"Really? Because it looks like you're about to quit on us."

"I'm not, I swear I'm just… My head's somewhere else."

Kyle placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and his face softened as he let out a long sigh. He was about to say something sensible again. "You'll work things out with Tweek" was I that transparent? "Just get through this one game."

"Thanks" I murmured before I closed my locker and began to change into my kit. As much as I felt like coiling up in the warmth of my bedsheets and crying, Kyle was right. Football had a good endorphin release anyway, I could've done with some confidence.

"Right, cows, we're up in fifteen" coach bounded into the changing rooms with a clipboard and passed it around "sign your names" he told us before he head towards me and patted me roughly against the back. "Glad you decided to show up, Tucker" he cackled. I managed to flash him a weak smile but for his sake and all my other team members,' I really wished I was in a better game mood.

It's all a state of mind. Change the feeling.

Me and Kyle along with a few other players jogged to the entrance of the stadium to get a good look at our audience, and our guests. It was nearly 7:00pm and a dark and cloudy night. The piercing lights of the stadium illuminated what was quite possibly the whole of South Park huddled together on the bleachers. They cradled hot cider and burgers, dads with foam hands and young children dressed in paper masks waved tiny flags. Unlike Kyle whom was becoming quite jittery beside me, I didn't suffer from nerves. Clearly I suffered from illogical heartache syndrome though.

I scanned the crowd for any sign of a familiar face, for a bush of unruly blond hair but alas, I couldn't spot him. It would be pretty foolish of me to believe he'd be interested in watching me play anyhow. However, I did notice my mom and dad wave at me with pride painted across their faces and then Tricia, her middle finger extended. Somehow, I wasn't as excited to see my family as I would be to see Tweek.

"You doing good?" I asked Kyle.

"Yeah, man I'll be fine once I start playing" he replied and waved to familiar people in the audience.

We had only minutes to go and our cheerleaders were completely riled up. Bebe and Wendy danced together and performed acrobatics across the field, threw their pom-poms high into the smoky air that elicited excited screams in the audience. Even though I felt myself getting slightly more excited about being out in the field, I couldn't help but will this game to be over as soon as possible. I wanted South Park to win as soon as possible, to be more specific.

"Craig, you need to stop fucking zoning out, I mean it!" Kyle whacked the back of my head and scowled at me.

As I slipped on my helmet, I pretended it was okay.

"I'm just getting my game face on" I grinned at him and jogged to the middle of the field to face my component. For now I'd push back the doubt that flew around my head and focus on the game I was now all of a sudden so determined to win. South Park cheered once I came head to head with the team captain of Middle Park. My team loitered behind and the cheerleaders chanted our names.

I could get involved in this, I thought.

The home team gets to call the coin and as coach held out a quarter I acquainted myself with the opposing team captain. He was shorter than me but stocky, well built, brunette and angry; his eyes locked onto mine and we glared red at one another for a short while, we made our messages clear to one another.

"Heads" I finally called, a stern eye on my target.

Coach flipped the coin into the air and low and behold it landed on heads. He looked at me expectantly with a glimmer of doubt in his expression. Maybe he thought we would lose today.

"Middle Park kicks off" I told the two and within seconds the game had begun. Being the quarterback, I had a very active role in the field and being the team captain, I was in charge of screaming at the other players and keeping them in line. Fortunately for me, the others made my job easier and put all their might into the game, we could all smell the determination in the air.

Middle Park was good, and even after a few touchdowns they were but a score or two behind us, biting at our tail. I had the finest team players by my side; an angry heard of linebackers lead by Token, the defensive line lead by Stan and then my safeties and cornerbacks by Kyle. All of them had immersed themself into the game completely, they gave into the desperate desire to win by using all means possible. Despite this, by the first halftime we were all one lumpy mess of hoarse breaths and sweaty bodies, I made a mental note to cut down on the smoking when I realised how unusually out of breath I'd been tonight.

The offensive team, luckily for them, bagged themself a safety a mere few seconds before halftime and as one of Middle Park's running backs attempted bolting towards our end zone with the ball, they were tackled by some of South Park's finest to which we left them with an extra two point ahead of us. The crowd responded to the action with a series of cheers and jeers as I headed towards Kyle who was panting on the bench. He held out a bottle of water to me.

We had roughly twelve minutes to collect ourselves and repaint our game faces while the cheerleaders took a center stage for a while.

"You did good" I said between gulps of wonderful, fresh, beloved mountain water.

"We're not even halfway" Kyle sighed dejectedly.

"Hey, get your fucking spirits up or we won't even get to halfway."

It upset me that a few times tonight I'd had a handful of the cows give me that unenthusiastic look of 'you're gonna make us lose' and me, being me, I was going to prove them wrong.

With a little while until we were back on the field, I took the opportunity to scan the audience and wave at a few familiar faces as I kept searching. Still, there was no sign of Tweek. I'd been awful to him, I didn't deserve the time of day from him but still, somewhere deep in my mind I had a silly thought he might show up to the game that I'd practiced for all season.

I imaged a scenario in which I wasn't a dick, one where I'd finish the game, score the winning touchdown and run to my boyfriend, kiss him, hug him and celebrate. It could've been that way if I wasn't such a coward.

"Sorry for a minute ago" Kyle smiled at me "Let's kick some Middle Park ass."

With the undying determination from the Cows, we were soon in the lead again and attained the great advantage of being many points ahead of the Cowboys which only fueled our yearning to victory.

I, along with my teammates had been running so fast and working so hard that it had gone beyond heavy sporty breaths, by the last halftime before fourth quarter, I was almost ready to pass out from exhaustion which was probably karma for missing so much practice recently. I was surprised coach still let me play the final game when clearly I'd underestimated how important that practice really turned out to be.

However, something during the last break knocked the breath clear out of my lungs, harder than any Cowboy tackling me to the ground could.

There was a face in the audience, illuminated by nothing but my lonely mind playing tricks on me. Except this wasn't a trick, there really was a face staring at me, bundled in a scarf and a jacket and cradling a java, a face of an angel I thought I'd only see again at death. Tweek timidly waved at me when he noticed me staring a hundred yards away and all too soon my heart started up again and my chest grew tight.

Butterflies. Oh if I wasn't so immersed into finishing this game, I'd let them consume me, I'd let them take over and say everything that so desperately needed to be said. But right now I had to keep my cool, I had to conduct my team and I had to win the game. Not only for my sake, but I now had this insatiable need to impress the blond boy whom yanked at my heartstrings from the audience.

The call was sounded, it was the last quarter and Middle Park didn't look like jolly Cowboys anymore, they looked like angry bulls. I had a frightful feeling they'd been saving their strength for the last quarter to claim the winning score and put us Cows to shame. Kyle noticed this too and despite his increasing nerves, he sent me a furious nod of understanding and we made a silent pact to scramble the offensive team into breakfast.

Everything was very tense in those last fifteen minutes, not only did I have my team screaming for back up but I had two intimidating green eyes that burned holes into my back from the audience, or at least that's how it felt. Middle Park was beginning to give us a hard time and by the last five minutes of the game they'd crept up behind us once again on the scoreboard. The team's quarterback revelled in delight at my annoyance.

His cockiness was quickly miscalculated.

Kyle, my finest cornerback, made a clearing for me after he passed the ball and fell to the ground in what looked like a brutal tackle. Before his face disappeared into a sea of burly tacklers, he yelled my name at the top of his lungs and I knew what to do. I made the decision to run the ball myself and stampeded towards the offensive team. I was running so fast that the defensive line nearly flew across the pitch in each direction beside me. The crowd screamed in a mixture of anticipation and encouragement. The ball landed with a thud in the offensive zone before the guards and tacklers could reach me.

Safe.

We won.

There was a millisecond of silence before the crowd erupted into delight and my team galloped towards me and pulled me into a huge man hug with helmets pressed against one another and our breaths intermingled in victory. It felt good and almost god damn erotic. For a second, I felt that team affinity I'd claimed not to possess.

My team's tired arms that lifted me into the air was almost enough to make me forget about Tweek who was discreetly leaving the audience. Almost. When I was carried off the pitch and dropped off behind the stadium, he became first priority.

"I'll be right back" I breathed heavily and faced Kyle before I chucked my helmet into his muddy hands.

"Go get him, Tucker" the redhead grinned before he turned to the rest of the team to finish celebrating.

The majority of the audience was still packed in the stadium so as I ran through the empty concrete halls, I knew it wouldn't be hard to spot Tweek making a quick escape.

I had very little energy left after such a tense football game but the sight of Tweek with his back turned to me once again was enough to drive me that one step further before I called out his name. He turned around and twitched; he looked like he wanted to leave as quickly as possible but if that was the case then why would he have come here at the last quarter of the game? He seemed conflicted, more so than I was just a few days ago.

"Tweek" I wheezed as I began to slow down and stood face to face with him. He stared down at his untied laces and avoided my neglected gaze of apology.

"H-how are you doing?" I asked. The anxiousness was evident in my shaky and tired voice.

"Could be better, I guess" he told me nonchalantly, his voice muffled behind a woolen scarf.

There was a thick sheet of ice between the both of us that begged to be broken, I just didn't know how. This was not the reunion I pictured.

"You got a haircut" Tweek finally looked up at me with a small but sad smile. I could tell he was trying his best to soften the sharp jab of pain I felt shoot through my chest at how distant he was being. Surely he could see I bled with the way he looked at me.

"Yeah" my voice broke halfway "I didn't think you'd come to be honest."

Tweek resumed watching the interesting show that was playing on his feet before he composed an answer.

"It's South Park's last football game of the year, I thought I'd make an effort" he explained "also, this is yours, I don't know why I still have it."

From inside his coat he pulled out my blue chullo hat with the yellow puffball, a revered and holy item in our lives. He held it out to me and I could only but stare. My heart sunk so low, it was drowning in acid, it was burning, as were my eyes. I'd become such a crybaby in the past few weeks.

This felt like so much more than Tweek handing me the hat he loved so much, it felt like he was severing ties with me and trying to prove to me that he didn't care. If he hadn't showed up to the game tonight, I probably would have believed it as well.

It could have just been the aftermath of football adrenaline but there were words trapped in my mouth that demanded to be set free.

"I love you, Tweek" it was so easy to say, it felt so natural to fall off my tongue despite how depressed the lack of response made me feel. I was so glad I'd admitted it.

Something flickered across his eyes, the same conflict I saw only moments ago, the same conflict I'd harboured myself until my epiphany with Kenny not so long ago. He looked like he was about to cry as he bit his lip and inhaled one long and shaky breath, the longest breath I'd ever seen and then he scoffed, a distraught scoff he used to stop himself from crying. It proved unsuccessful.

"Why..." he sniffed "why are you doing this to me?" His trembling hands flew to his face to censor the tears in his eyes. I didn't mean to make him so upset.

"P-please don't cry" I begged as I placed my hands on his shoulders in an attempt of comfort.

"Y-you're fucking with me, Craig, you… Ugh, I can't believe I came here, I need to go."

"No! Please, please stay… We need to talk."

"About what? I can't keep loving you when you change your mind about us. It's like, it's like walking on eggshells!"

"I've changed, I know what I want, I want you, I love you." The pain on his face was heartbreaking.

"How can you change just like that? I-I'm sick of your fucking internalised homophobia man, or whatever it is, y-you need to sort it out. It hurts too much."

I gently placed my hands on his pink cheeks and tilted his chin upwards to face me so that he could look into my eyes and see just how much this was hurting me too.

In all our time together, even as mindless kids, I'd struggled to convert the thoughts in my head into words, I'd struggled to tell the truth to everyone and to myself but tonight, I was determined to break that barrier. I had to. I had too much to lose now.

"I've been bad to you" I began "but I love you, I promise you this; I want to be better, for you and for us. Please give me one last chance, I know I don't deserve it but I will prove to you I've changed, I fucking swear I'll prove it."

Tweek took a long breath in and then out. He allowed me to wipe the tears from his cheeks and then he relaxed into my touch. The urge to squeeze him tightly and never let him go was so strong, but I held back. If I knew Tweek, I knew that he wanted space right now.

"I need time to think" he muttered; it came out colder than he intended. Knowing I'd done all I possibly could in this moment to assure him, I nod respectively and finally took my hat from him.

He walked away but this time there was hope yet. I was going to take Kenny's advice and solidify Tweek's decision and more importantly, his trust. Even getting him to reconsider was without a doubt the most important goal I scored that night.


A/N: I've pretty much reached 100 followers and I'm gobsmacked. I can't thank you guys enough for all the support as this story comes to an end. P.S) Anon, please let me know if I managed to keep to past tense in this chapter since I tried very hard not to deviate.