Chapter 3
Reputation
11 years ago
Lexa felt her heart tighten in her chest. She still had yet to fall asleep, and the fear of never finding sleep again made her heart beat too fast. She tossed and turn in her bed before deciding to lay on her back and look at the canopy of the bed. In the deep darkness of her room, the crimson curtains looked like mountains. After staring at them for too long, Lexa felt like crying again. She tried to contain herself, however. She'd been crying at least once a day for almost a month now, and it wasn't fitting for a future Queen, she thought. Her mother would have never...
Weak grumbles of protest made their way to her room. The castle must have been particularly silent if she could hear them through two closed doors. She waited for a few seconds, sure they would stop shortly, but instead, they gained in intensity. She hesitated, pursing her lips as she continued to stare at the mountains above her bed. Finally, she pushed her covers aside and slid out of her bed. She found the door to her own bedroom quickly enough and discovered the hallway barely lit on the other side. The torches were about to put themselves out. The stone ground was cold under her bare feet, but it was a welcome change from the suffocating heat of her bed.
She crossed the hallway to another heavy wooden door, and slowly but surely, she opened it. The cries coming from inside intensified, and she slid inside quickly and closed the door behind her, just in case. The room was dark and big, but also mostly empty. Wardrobes and utilities necessary to take care of babies had been placed on either side of the room, and two wooden cradles had been placed at the center of the room, but that was it. Lexa approached the nearest cradle. They were the same, both heavy looking and with dragons sculpted around them. Lexa was just tall enough to see inside without having to stand on her toes. This was Lyanna's cradle, and her baby sister was whimpering and fidgeting. It wasn't a full blow cry like Aegon, but she still looked very unhappy. Lexa looked at her for a few seconds. She had a tuft of black hair and clear gray eyes. It was the only way to differentiate her from her twin because Aegon really had his father's dark gray eyes. Other than that, they looked nothing like Jon, or their mother, or even Lexa. They just looked like babies.
Very carefully, Lexa picked up her baby sister in her arms and began to rock her like she'd been shown. Lyanna stopped fidgeting, and she stared at Lexa with her big wet eyes. However, she continued to whimper, and Lexa guessed it was because Aegon was still crying. She glanced at the door. The wet nurse should be here by now, taking care of them. Still, the door didn't budge. So Lexa very carefully maneuvered her sister in her arms and came to pick up Aegon with the other. Now with a baby in each arm, she started to rock them both and whispered:
"It's okay, I'm here."
Very quickly, they stopped crying, and Lexa wondered if they had just been craving for company. It must get pretty lonely there, in this big empty room, just the two of them and not even able to see each other because their cradles were too far apart. If their mother had been here it would have been different, Lexa knew, but she wasn't there anymore. She was with her father and the Great Stallion now, probably watching over them.
Lexa's arms quickly grew tired, and she decided to sit down, each of the siblings still nested in her arms. She brought them even closer against her, careful. They were both staring at her, and she started to whisper:
"It's okay, I'm here. I'll stay with you. You're not alone anymore. You'll never be alone, I promise."
Lexa thought she saw there eyes drooping, but she didn't feel hers closing too.
The first rays of the sun had barely made it through the window when Lexa felt a weight being taken out of her arm. Instinctively, she tightened her grip, but still, the weight was soon out of her arms, and her eyes snapped open. She was about to panic because Aegon was not in her arms anymore when she saw Anya standing beside her, her little brother in her arms.
"What..." she started, confused.
Anya shushed her with a whisper.
"Don't wake them up."
She placed Aegon back in his cradle and took Lyanna carefully out of Lexa's arms, before placing her in her cradle as well. Then, as Lexa was rubbing her eyes and trying to wake up, Anya picked her up in her arms too. They began to walk out of the room.
"I can't leave them alone," Lexa whispered after yawning.
"It's okay, the wet-nurse will be there shortly. She just went to change."
"Oh, okay."
Lexa didn't even think about wondering how Anya knew that. Instead, she let her bodyguard carry her to her bedroom, and place her in her bed before seating at the foot of it.
"It's still early, go back to sleep."
In a tired, sleepy voice, Lexa asked:
"Can we put their cradles in my room? So we can always be together?"
Anya smiled.
"We'll see, okay? Just sleep now." She stood up and left the room, closing silently the door behind her. Lexa instantly fell back asleep.
Lexa almost slept through breakfast that morning, but Anya still brought her something to keep her stomach full until lunch. Everyone was there at lunch, Tyrion, Missandei, even Grey Worm. They'd all been very careful to always join her for lunch, and not leave her alone once in the past month or so. They were all afraid Lexa would lose appetite suddenly and be consumed by grief.
Tyrion was the one who brought up her nocturnal escapade:
"Anya told me you went to see the twins last night."
Lexa nodded as she was carefully cutting a piece of meat.
"Maybe we could move them to my room? They just wanted company and their nurse never came to check on them."
Tyrion frowned.
"Well if their nurse is not doing her job perhaps we should find a new one."
Anya suddenly coughed, as if she'd been choking on her meal. After emptying her cup, she declared:
"It was my fault."
They all looked at her as if they didn't understand.
"The nurse and I were having a..." she glanced at Lexa, then Tyrion, "conversation."
Lexa frowned, confused. Why was Anya having a conversation with the nurse in the middle of the night? Tyrion emptied his own cup before he replied:
"Perhaps you ought to keep those conversations for another time. Or cease them altogether."
Anya didn't say anything, but she looked very unpleased by Tyrion's suggestion, so Lexa decided to drop it.
4 years ago
Lexa sidestepped, Anya's blade coming very close to her shoulder. She attempted a stab of her own, but Anya pushed the sword away with her own. The older woman than tried a horizontal swipe and Lexa ducked under. The Princess then tried to graze the side of Anya's thigh, and Anya moved her leg away. She saw it clearly, though the motion was barely perceptible. Lexa's posture wasn't as steady as she would like her to think, and she almost fell forward.
"Pull your feet apart," Anya warned.
Lexa did as she was told and quickly stood up. Anya had slid on her left side, and when she turned to face her she barely had the time to block her sword. Lexa clenched her teeth, taking in the impact, and pushed her friend with all her strength.
Someone cleared their throat on the side of the ring, and Lexa knew exactly who it was, so she didn't bother to look away. She continued to push Anya away instead.
"Your Grace, may I present to you lady Costia. She's the new representative from the Summer Isles."
Lexa joked back:
"I thought Grey Worm was our representative from the Summer Isles."
No answer came, but she knew Tyrion had rolled his eyes. Lexa focused once again on the fight, and she quickly noticed Anya trying to move her leg to trip her. She stepped away after pushing Anya's sword once again and attempted a vertical strike. Anya blocked it, and Lexa was about to attack again when something in the corner of her eye caught her attention.
First, she saw her dress, a blue as light as the sky, falling lightly around her. Then, she saw her face. Dark-skinned shining under the sun and dark eyes shining back at her. Her black hair had been pulled up in an intricate haircut. Lexa found her arms too heavy to raise her sword, suddenly, and the cold steel of Anya's sharp blade came to rest against her throat. Lexa had to tare her eyes away from the beautiful woman, to glare at Anya.
"No fair."
"Don't get distracted. If I had a gold dragon every time I told you I would be as rich as a Lannister by now."
This made the ambassador giggle lightly, and Lexa felt her heart skip a bit. Her laugh was so pure, it made Lexa feel very strange. She didn't even feel Anya pull her blade away, she was just stunned, her eyes not quite looking at the reason of all her troubles either. Her entire face felt hot, too.
"Your Grace."
The other woman – Tyrion had called her Costia, right? - stepped closer to Lexa and curtsied. Lexa finally realized that she hadn't moved in an eternity, and quickly sheathed her sword.
"My Lady," she replied, though she had no idea what to add, or what to say. Should she take her hand and place a kiss on it, like the lords did? Thankfully, Costia continued to speak. She had a light accent, fainter than Grey Worm's but still very charming.
"You Grace, it's an honor for me to be received in such a beautiful city."
Lexa tried to find something clever to say or something that would compliment her beauty. Instead, she nodded.
"Will you be part of the meetings or are you not interested in such dealings?"
Lexa wanted to say that of course, she would be there, because nothing important happened in this castle without her presence. Instead, she sent a panicked look at Tyrion, as if she didn't know the answer. Her Hand was about to step in and save her, but Anya was the first to walk closer and, after placing a hand on Lexa's shoulder, she explained:
"The Princess insists on being apart of every dealings that would benefit her kingdom. But you'll have to excuse her, I may have tired her out."
"Oh, of course. I'll leave you to rest, then, Your Grace."
Lexa finally managed a word as Costia turned around.
"Goodbye..."
Anya waited until Costia was out of sight to roar in laughter. Lexa glared at her with all her might.
"It wasn't funny!"
"You don't think it's funny because you haven't seen your face."
But instead of staying angry, Lexa deflated quickly.
"What do I do?"
Anya stopped laughing and frowned.
"About what?"
"About Costia?"
"You don't do anything, you're too young for that."
"What?"
"Yeah, she's like ten years older than you. You can't court someone so old."
Lexa seemed shocked.
"I don't want to court her, she's a girl!"
"So? As long as nobody knows, it doesn't really matter."
"But she's a girl!"
Anya sighed.
"Don't tell me you didn't want to kiss her as soon as you saw her, because you looked like a boy who just got his first hard on."
Lexa pushed her away angrily. Anya was wrong. Of course, she was wrong! She couldn't want to court a girl. Only weird girls wanted to court other girls, like Yara. Anya shrugged.
"You'll come around eventually. In the meantime, I guess I'll be the one keeping Costia company tonight."
Lexa crossed her arms as Anya walked away.
"People will know. You'll get a bad reputation!"
Anya chuckled.
"You haven't been hanging with the right kind of people if you still think I have a good reputation."
Lexa had been tossing in her bed, thinking. She couldn't get Costia's face out of her head like she couldn't get Anya's words out of her mind. Did she really want to court Costia? Two girls couldn't court, right? She'd seen a whole bunch of them do it, though. Anya was always running about the next pretty girl she could find. She'd seen Yara with quite a number of women the few times the Queen of the Iron Islands had come to visit. Even Lady Margaery and Lady Sansa, who thought they were still a secret to the whole world. So was it really okay?
After a while, she decided to leave her bed and roam around the Red Keep like a tormented ghost. Eventually, she made it to the gardens. The moon was shining brightly above her, masking most of the stars with her own light. Lexa found the nearest bench and sat down. The cold night air helped her breath a bit more easily. She picked up a flower from the nearest bush. In the darkness, she couldn't really tell which color it was. The petals were half closed, probably waiting for the sun to rise to open once again. The kind of looked like lips. Costia's lips. Which Lexa wanted to kiss. Lexa groaned. Anya was right, as usual. What in the seven hells was she supposed to do, then?
She thought back to the afternoon. She couldn't even get a single word out passed her lips. How was she supposed to court a woman if she couldn't speak! She stared at the flower. Would she like a flower? Was that something she could give her? Lexa let out a sigh, ready to give up when a voice echoed in her mind. She was a Targaryen and a Dothraki. She rode on the back of a dragon just as easily as she rode on a stallion. She had faced the horrors of war all her youth. She'd killed more people than any fourteen years old boy in this country. She was the Princess, and one day, she would be the Queen. She wasn't about to let herself be intimidated by pretty dark eyes.
Determination seized her entire body, and she walked back to the castle, her rose in her hand. She crossed half of the Keep until she arrived where she knew Costia had been given a room. Before she could get close to the door, however, it quickly opened and closed, allowing a single person to walk out. Lexa instantly recognized who it was. Anya was still finishing to tie her belt around her long jacket when she turned around, probably to return to her own room. She stopped dead in her track when she saw Lexa standing there. The determination which had set on her face was falling quickly, leaving only confusing, and a twinge of anger.
"Lex? Why are you still up?"
"That's Costia's room."
"Yes, it is."
Anya gave her another look.
"What's the rose for?"
Lexa glared at her.
"Why were you in Costia's room?"
Anya sighed.
"Lexa..."
Lexa dropped the rose on the ground and turned around abruptly. How stupid was she? Of course, Costia was not interested in her! How could she be interested in her, she was just a stupid little girl!
She quickly felt something holding her back. Anya had caught her wrist and was stopping her before she could go back to her room.
"Let me go!"
"Lexa, I told you it was a bad idea."
"Why, so you could have her for yourself!"
With her free hand, she began to punch Anya's belly. The blonde let her, instead, she continued to explain:
"No, because she's married!"
Lexa finally stopped hitting her bodyguard and looked up at her.
"What?"
"Costia is married to some important guy in the Summer Isles. The only reason he sent her away is so he could take a second wife without her in the middle. You can ask Tyrion tomorrow if you don't believe me."
Lexa frowned. She didn't want to believe Anya, but her friend had never lied to her before, why would she start now?
"How did you know?"
"You were so busy looking at her face you didn't see the ring on her hand."
Lexa felt Anya's hand release her wrist slowly as if to make sure Lexa wouldn't run away. Lexa felt her throat tighten and her eyes itch. She hated the feeling of hollowness in her chest.
"She's married?"
"I'm sorry."
Lexa tried to rein in her tears, but after a sharp sob had shaken her shoulders the tears fell quickly, rolling down her cheeks. Anya pulled her into a hug, wrapping one hand around her and the other caressing her hair.
"I'm sorry, Lex. I'm sure one day you'll find a girl that's perfect for you, but this one is not."
Lexa continued to cry and Anya held her tightly, supporting her and holding her up even when Lexa's legs felt weak and about to fall under her. She let her cry her sadness for a few minutes before she started to try and cheer her up.
"But we seriously need to work on your courting skills."
Lexa let out a watery chuckle, tears still running down her cheeks. She managed a smile.
"The rose was a good idea though. You should keep that one, I'm sure it'll serve, one day."
Lexa nodded against her chest, and Anya finally let her go.
"Alright, let's get you to bed."
Lexa didn't protest, didn't reply she was fourteen and old enough to make her way back to her chambers alone. She let Anya take her hand and pull her back to her room.
Clarke found Octavia in the gardens, looking over the sea. When she approached, the brunette turned around with a smile.
"That was a quick meet..."
She stopped when she saw her sister coming toward her, and her smile fell and turned into a strange grimace. Clarke smiled in turn.
"Expecting someone else?"
Octavia pursed her lips. Clarke came to stand beside her, both hands on the stone banister. The waves came to lap the cliff under them in calm, steady waves.
"So, how do you like King's Landing?" Clarke asked, looking at her sister.
Octavia shrugged.
"It's okay, I guess. A bit hotter than I expected."
"How's your trip to Winterfell coming along?"
"I don't know. I haven't actually done anything to go there. I haven't even spoken to Lady Stark or her sister."
"But you've been busy."
Octavia said nothing, her eyes staring out at the ocean.
"His name is Lincoln, right?"
Octavia seemed both stunned and surprised as if she'd actually been trying to keep it a secret, and realized how much she'd failed.
"He is handsome, it's true."
"You know him?"
"Lexa told me about him. About how he was a slave in Meereen before Queen Daenerys arrived. He's a council member for the city now, right?"
Octavia nodded. Lincoln had told her about it before, about how he felt he owed his life to the Queen's family. Clarke watched her with a keen eye. She was trying to see whether Lincoln had been honest with Octavia, and it seemed so.
"I'm sure Marcus won't mind. The councilman and ambassador to a great city is a good match."
Octavia blushed and cleared her throat before explaining:
"This is not what I'm worried about. I mean, we've kind of been flirting from time to time, but that's it. But he's leaving soon. He needs to go back home."
"You're worried you won't see him again?"
"Actually..."
Octavia turned around, pressing her back against the railing and crossing her arms.
"I was hoping I could go with him."
Clarke's smile turned mischievous. Octavia's cheeks began a brighter shade of red.
"He told me about this woman in Meereen. She started out as a pit fighter after they'd allowed women to fight, now she's at the head of the Meereenese army. I was hoping I could convince her to train me. She trained Lincoln, so maybe with his support, I could convince her."
Clarke looked at the determination in her sister's eyes.
"Maybe Lexa could make you a letter or something, to ask her to train you."
Octavia shook her head.
"I need to do this one on my own."
Clarke nodded.
"What did the parents say?"
Octavia stared at her feet.
"I haven't asked them yet. I wanted to wait a bit."
"If you wait too much, it'll be too late."
"I know."
A/N: Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it was a bit full of flashbacks but I really wanted to show some more Lexa and Any atogether and it seemed like a good idea. Don't worry, we won't see Costia again, if that's what you were wondering. I don't have any good or bad feelings toward her, she's just kind of a useful tool, you know.
I wanted to thank FFKiwi for leaving a review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! Like I said I won't be posting this weekend, because I won't have Internet, so I'll see you all on Monday for the next chapter! Until them, I hope you have a nice weekend!
