:: Chapter Forty Six ::

Every step they took spurned the conversation further while Arcann led Eliza from his chambers back to the throne room. She shared all there was to know while observing the curious absence of personal guard in this section but, of course, with her constant presence, Arcann would prefer privacy to keep tongues from wagging.

"So, there you have it. All the details I left out about our family and entwined fates, the tools I need to dispose of your father," Eliza finished and watched him seated on his throne.

"And that holocron you mentioned, with Dramath's spirit, you're keeping it on…?"

All she did was flash him a knowing smirk with one brow quirked—there were some limits to what she was willing to tell him.

"I suppose our trust doesn't quite extend that far yet," noted Arcann with a smile of his own.

"No, but it was a valiant effort on your part, very smooth." She circled the throne and let her feet carry her to the window, gazing up at the stars above.

"You know… speaking of family…"

Arcann followed her movement, sliding in at her side. "Hm?"

"Why do you keep saying that your mother abandoned you?"

"Because she did."

"I've spoken with her. She told me she asked all three of you to come with her—you all refused and chose your father."

"I couldn't leave," he lamented and a hint of sorrow rang true in his voice.

"I'd endured a lifetime of abuse fighting to become the man my father wanted me to be. Leaving would have proved him right about my weakness and cowardice, I couldn't do it. Vaylin never wanted to and Thexan… I think he stayed because we did."

"So then, she didn't abandon you?"

"She asked three children to choose between their parents and when we wouldn't leave, she walked out alone. She could have stayed, not for him but for us, but my mother chose herself. What would you call that?"

"Hrm. I hadn't really looked at it that way," Eliza admitted.

"You like her," Arcann realized catching her somber expression through the window reflection.

"We don't know each other that well but, yes, she seems nice and talking with her I could tell how hard it has been on her to leave the three of you. I think to this day she wonders whether she did the right thing."

"There have been times where I wish she hadn't left."

"She misses you, you know? Despite everything that has happened, she still loves you and holds out hope."

"That hardly seems possible after all I have done."

Eliza closed her eyes in thought. "A mother's love is… different from any other. Even your very worst cannot sever that connection."

For a split second, Arcann felt tempted to reach out, his hand already drifting to her belly but he held himself and frowned. "You can feel that already, even though yours hasn't been born yet?"

"This is not my first. I have a daughter out there waiting for me to come home."

"Oh."

Another secret revealed, why hadn't she told him this sooner? Was she that afraid he would deliberately try and hurt her family, her child? Arcann glowered at the mere thought and yet he knew that, no less than a month ago, he would have considered her child collateral damage in his pursuit of the Outlander.

How many other children had become collateral damage in his war? Innocent faces basking in the delight of their childhood as he and his siblings had once done. He dreaded to think now of the many lives he'd snuffed out and once more felt reminded of the fact he was a monster until a warm hand cupped his cheek.

"Arcann," said Eliza as though she'd followed his thoughts clearly, "you can't dwell on things that have already happened. Focus on the future instead."

"No, but I have to face and remember everything I have done. Every second of terror as motivation to change and do better."

He leaned into her touch and mirrored the gesture by running his own fingers through her hair. Teasing soft silken locks away from her face until he gently placed his hand on the back of her head and urged her closer. Wrapping her in an embrace but his cybernetic arm hovered awkwardly at his side and Eliza reached out. Guiding that arm around her middle as well before she nuzzled against his chest, careful to avoid the shoulder she knew still hurt him.

A tranquil moment for the comfort they were both in dire need of. Minds wandering to losses, regrets, a longing to go home and Arcann felt the weight of his crimes. The pain he'd inflicted and the memory of his mother and brother, wishing they were by his side now.

"You miss her," with a whisper he touched back on the mention of her daughter.

"Don't you?"

The question gave him but a moment of pause until he realized she meant his mother. "I do."

Still, there was little point to dwell on that now. His to-do list already appeared insurmountable and, while they'd talked plenty in the past days, there were no plans to speak of.

"In any case, I take this to mean we cannot solve the issue of my father right now?" Arcann relinquished the embrace and sat back on his throne.

"Correct, unless you'd care to let me go so I can get the objects we need."

"You'd never come back, or if you did it would be with an army no doubt."

"I'd say we've grown beyond that unless you still intend to execute me?"

"No."

Eliza's left brow sprung up in surprise. "No?"

"Are you still in pursuit of my crown, my throne, my life?"

"I never wanted any of those things. I wouldn't have even considered taking your life if it weren't for this war and all that you've done."

Arcann was slow with his nod while he mulled over his thoughts. "Is it too late?"

"For what?"

"To change. Not just the manner in which I rule my Empire but, everything. The tide of war."

"Would you?"

His brows knitted together and he closed his eyes. Seeing the crossroads part before him—one path to change and the other to destroy the last of what remained. Of him, of his life and all he held dear.

"I do not wish to surrender my rule or give up my Empire. This is my home and these are my people but I do want to make things right. I need to, as I've said."

Eliza drifted closer, eyeing the monstrosity he sat upon and let her index finger caress along the back of his throne. Feeling a chill rush down her spine that left her to shudder—there was power to the seat, ominous and cold, but she shook it from her mind, at least for the time being.

"May I ask why? The change, why and why now?"

"I do not like the man I've become and my brother would not like me today either—I've strayed so far from who we always said we'd be. Transforming into a man as cruel as my father, perhaps crueler because while he showed me no love, he took care of our people at least, our Empire."

Arcann caught her hand when she passed the other side of his throne. "Perhaps the only true way to outshine him is to be a better man than he was, not one who is worse."

"I think you can be," Eliza smiled, relieved to hear him come to these conclusions on his own and use his brother as a motivator.

"The Republic, if I approached them for negotiations, what would they do?"

"You've already got them licking your boots. Perhaps they'll start thanking you for the honor as well?"

He smirked. "True, but I've received dissatisfied communications regarding… who is he to you anyway? A father in law?"

"Theron and I aren't married, and Jace would have to become a decent father first before anything else."

"Another one ill-suited for parenthood? Remind me again why I'm letting this man live?"

"Hmmm, because I asked?" She perched herself on the armrest of his throne, ignoring the chilling allure that teased her nerves upon touching the thing.

"Because if we ever do enter negotiations, and assuming he survived your assault, then you may want to release the Supreme Commander into Theron's custody as a peace offering of sorts?"

Not entirely aware of his own actions, his fingertips found and caressed the small of her back while he lingered in deep thought. Her suggestion sounded casual enough but Arcann gave it genuine consideration.

"I suppose a release of prisoners would make for a step in the right direction, with all parties involved, no?"

"That's usually a part of establishing peace, yes."

"What else?"

"Recalling your fleet, dismantling the star fortresses. Relinquishing the planets you're holding hostage now."

"And the Empire, how would they react?"

His hand traveled further up her back, underneath her shirt and his fingers curled. Kneading over her spine with his knuckles in such a fashion his touch finally reached her awareness and a gentle sigh left her lips—it felt good.

"Not quite as forgiving or trusting I'm afraid," she murmured.

"But if you were to speak on their behalf, given how they have no current leader?"

'No cur…? Oh, right, he doesn't know about Vowrawn. Keep your lies straight,' Eliza reprimanded herself.

"I could, I was part of the Dark Council after all."

"And you would be more amenable to my offer, correct?"

His fingers reached higher, stroking up her back and tracing the curves of her shoulder blades. Bringing her shivers and leading her to feel far better than she appreciated. She rose up quickly to step just beyond of his touch.

"Yes, I would be, and I could handle negotiations for both the Empire and my own people," she told him quite firmly and prayed the warmth in her cheeks wasn't actually showing.

"Mm, good." For a second he glanced at his hand and frowned.

'What was that just now?' Arcann wondered but he cast the thought aside and continued, "Because I think I understand now where to begin."

"You do?"

"Yes," he spoke softly and stepped down from his throne. "With you."

"Me?"

"Mm, and I know what to do with you now."

"Which is… what?" She observed him somewhat nervously. 'Have I gone too far, made it sound too good to be true?'

Arcann, however, didn't utter another word—too busy recalling the time they'd spent together lately.

So many subtle touches causing his skin to tingle and ache upon remembering—her hand taking his when he'd opened up about Thexan and that same hand again later on, so unafraid to touch his body, his scars. Feeling the heat when his mind's eye once more showed him the flutter of her stomach and he relived their embrace from earlier. The pleasing sensation of her skin under his fingertips when he caressed her back, so drawn to touch her and seek a connection though he didn't understand why.

His continued silence disturbed Eliza only further while he looked at her in such a peculiar way, and came so close, it set off the alarm bells in her head.

'Please don't try this, don't make a move, don't force me to reject you and shatter my entire plan…' she worried the nearer his lips drew to her own, once he stood so close his body heat warmed her.

Shutting her eyes and taking in a deep breath, she prepared to turn away and with that, possibly crush all she'd worked for—rejection would more than damage his ego—but to her relief, she suddenly felt his lips on her forehead instead. His fingers combing through her hair and then he merely held her, again.

Seeing her close her eyes had been enough of a hint to him. A reminder that she was beyond his reach in that way—married, and pregnant with her boyfriend's child—and Arcann wasn't entirely sure why he felt drawn to her in the first place. Perhaps it was merely the way she'd treated him, with more consideration and care than others had in years. It would be so easy to mistake that for something more.

But there was more, from his perspective. He couldn't discern what it was or how he'd come to be in that place but everything about her mattered to him now. Finding himself smiling at the sound of her laughter and warm when her eyes twinkled. The constant urge to tell her things he'd never told another soul, and he'd done much of that already, but he couldn't keep her forever.

Furthermore, he feared she could become the one person who would truly make him weak. So weak that his Empire and his own ambitions would come second to her always, and that he might revert to his old ways in the name of, what?

'Love? Desire? No, fondness, perhaps,' he considered. Wanting to protect her and going to any length. It would be too much for him and a risk he couldn't take.

"If I let you go…" he started, tipping her chin up to meet her frown, "would you come back? For negotiations, to let me assist in the banishment of my father? Would I be safe?"

"Let me…"

It was precisely what she'd hoped for, and had been working toward, so then why did it leave her so uneasy suddenly? Why was there something to the offer that nagged at her and sent her brain into overdrive, pushing her heart to pump that much faster?

"Why don't you come with me instead?" she countered.

"With you? To..."

"My base, my Alliance. I have everything I need there to banish your father and, well, your mother would be there. Don't you wish to see her again?"

"I do, but—"

"It could be ground zero for peace negotiations. You and your mother to represent Zakuul, myself and one of my advisors for the Alliance and the Empire, and the Supreme Commander along with a guest we'll invite to speak on the Republic's behalf."

"Eliza..." There was a sudden enthusiasm and fire to her that he found more than endearing but he wouldn't let it bewitch him. "Could you guarantee my safety?"

'Decide, now, and be certain,' she urged herself and nodded. "You would be my guest and under my protection, as I have been here."

Arcann paused. Staring down into her eyes to find her soul and the truth behind her words. He'd be under guard no doubt, for his own protection and for the safety of her people. Not that he could blame her.

"Many will not be happy to see me," he considered openly.

"They won't, but you've got me and you'll have your mother. My people will not make a move without my say so."

"Your base would make for a more neutral location and we already have hands on the Supreme Commander—another Republic representative would be more inclined to meet him there than to set foot again on Zakuul."

Once again he weighed his options. His visit to the Alliance would be a confrontational one—no doubt most people there would ask for his demise—but it also felt the more logical solution and, struggling as he might be, a part of him longed to reconcile with his mother now that he'd begun making amends with his past.

"We'll need to make arrangements," Arcann said. "Retrieve the Supreme Commander and lock him in the hull of my ship. You will have to trust me with the coordinates once we leave Zakuul and I would choose to withhold your weapons and communication devices until we've arrived."

"And leave the dampener around my ankle?"

"Yes. I am sorry for that but—"

"You're taking a risk, I understand and it's alright. Besides, I've been enjoying the peace and quiet away from your father's incessant preaching."

Once more her eyes twinkled and he couldn't help but delight. Nervous about what the future might hold and yet finding security in her smile. Finding the courage to face whatever this visit may have in store for him.

"Then let us be on our way."