:: Chapter Forty Nine ::
Minutes went by while Eliza sat holding his dead body in her arms, bitter tears raining down her cheeks. Her hands and clothes painted by his blood and still she whispered silently.
"I'm sorry…"
With salted and wet lips, she planted a kiss to his forehead and two of her fingers lowered his eyelids—she couldn't stand the sight of him looking at her any longer. The judgment and eternal condemnation, woven between crimson and golden flecks in his irises, because she'd created and nurtured trust only to betray him in the end.
She'd given him the illusion of a second chance and brought him hope. For redemption, for love, and the hope to become a better man but then she'd torn those very things from his body and caught them on the tip of her blade.
It had always been her plan not only to escape but to put an end to him—end the man and it would end the war—but it hurt a great deal more than she'd anticipated and left her to wish she could have finished the job sooner. Before caring about him, before he'd started to matter to her but despite the freedom he'd offered her in recent days, there hadn't been a decent opportunity until now.
"I really did care about you," her voice broke, "and if it was just me, if I had been your only victim, we could have worked this out. I saw the man you were changing into, I did, but he came too late."
This was the one thing she would never be able to forgive herself for and she wasn't quite certain anyone else would but no one else had known. No one else had seen the potential of him develop in the past weeks—the thawing of his cold heart to blossom with a change for good.
"How utterly pathetic," someone nearby spat and it was only then that Eliza remembered Jace Malcom in his cell.
The very cell she sat in front of now—that's how far Arcann had chased her through the ship—and Jace had seen it all.
"Never took you for the weak kind, Sith," Jace mocked her further.
Eliza clenched her jaw and hissed, "Shut your mouth or you'll be next."
"Hah, right. You're sat weeping over your biggest enemy but expect me to believe you'd have the balls to raise a hand against me?"
"He was a better man than you are."
Jace scoffed and watched while she eased Arcann's body from her lap. She turned on her heel to face him.
"He was. Sith magic tainted him from the moment he was conceived and he went through hell growing up—he never stood much of a chance. Sure, he wasn't perfect and he could have handled his traumas differently but he was changing for the better. Saw his mistakes and made moves to make things right."
"Until you—"
Her arm shot between the bars of his cell and she gripped him by his collar. "What's your excuse, huh?
"You had a lifetime of opportunities and chances. Hell, you were once such an admirable man even the Grandmaster fell for you but what did you do? Threw it all away to succumb to your own hatred and bitterness! Arcann never knew anything else—you did, and you wrecked it all!"
An exasperated sigh left her lips and she released her hold. "You know, Theron is… one of the most wonderful people I've ever met and anyone would be so lucky to know him. To stand by his side but you, you were ready to sell him out! Your own son!"
"No! I would have made a deal for his life!"
"Really? With the very man Arcann was a few weeks ago? You can't be that stupid, surely you knew damn well Theron would have become collateral damage regardless of any deal!"
The Supreme Commander narrowed his eyes at her and changed gears. "Why do you care so much about what happens to my son?"
"Better question is, why don't you? He's your son and you're an idiot for not making more of an effort with him."
She said nothing further, still keeping their relationship and her pregnancy a secret. Instead, she glanced down at Arcann's body and considered her next move but a call for communication coming from the bridge distracted her thoughts.
"Hailing unknown vessel—please identify and state your business," Lana's voice rang clear when Eliza reached the bridge and she'd never been happier to hear the blonde.
"Lana it's me," she took the comms and sighed a breath of relief. "Is anyone there with you?"
"Eliza! No, it's just myself at the command center right now but—"
"Good. Listen, I'm on Arcann's ship—he's dead—and I've got the Supreme Commander here with me. I need you to meet me at the landing pad with a team of guards to take Jace into custody.
"I also need you to keep Senya away, occupy her elsewhere, and don't tell her of my arrival. I'll be bringing his body with me and she... she shouldn't see him like this, not until I've had a chance to talk to her myself."
"You... what?" Lana spent a few good seconds rather baffled but quickly composed herself. "I'll take care of it. Sending you clearance to land."
"Thank you." Eliza hesitated for a moment, wanting to ask about Theron and Scourge, but she withheld the questions for now.
Other, more pressing concerns were on her mind and after speaking with Lana, she wandered toward the medical bay where she retrieved a body bag and a hover-stretcher. She knelt down by Arcann's body and strained to lift him onto the carrier.
'Senya can't see him like this...' she repeated to herself seeing his white armor drenched and discolored.
A change of clothing, that's what he needed and after zipping the body bag up, she ran off again to his private quarters. Grateful he'd left them open after her nap but when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror by his dresser, she froze.
Half her face was covered in scarlet smears after she'd wiped her tears away with bloody hands. Vaylin's black clothing she wore was further darkened by the sanguine fluids and even parts of her cleavage were tainted red. She looked like she'd just walked away from a slaughter.
Eliza hastily grabbed a set of towels and disappeared into the refresher next door. There was no time to shower or have a change of clothing herself but at the very least she could wash the blood from her hands and face. It would have to do.
Once back in his sleeping quarters, she gathered what she could find in terms of clothing and personal belongings of his. She pulled the sketchbook from the bottom drawers and sighed, thinking Senya should have it but then she remembered the drawing he'd made of her.
She flipped to the last page and new tears pooled in her eyes—she should burn it. Destroy any shred of evidence there was to the bond they'd shared but after tearing the page out, she realized she couldn't do it. Nothing would ever wipe any of this from her mind and the drawing was proof of his good side so she neatly folded it and tucked it into her own bag.
"What will you do with me?" asked Jace when she returned.
"Take you into custody and if he survived, Theron can decide what happens to you next."
"And what if he didn't?"
"Would it make a difference to you?"
"Damn you Sith! We may not have the best relationship but I do care about my son!"
"You've got a funny way of showing it," muttered Eliza while she unzipped the body bag.
Loathing to look at Arcann's corpse again but she'd suddenly remembered he kept the controller for her ankle cuff in his pocket. Odd that she'd almost gotten used to wearing the thing, even if it did raise a void inside of her that couldn't be filled, but now she'd finally get to take it off and immediately welcomed the Force surge all around and through her.
"Who are you to judge? You don't know me, you don't know our situation," Jace sneered.
"I know more than you think and, the thing is, you have no idea how lucky you are. To be alive and actually have a chance with him," she fired back. "Ungrateful bastard."
Again she left his company but not for long, this time returning with a set of stun cuffs. "Are you gonna make this hard on me or will you turn around so I can restrain you?"
"You never answered my question—what'll happen to me if Theron didn't survive?"
Jace resented his entire situation but rather than kick up a fuss, and understanding the futility, he turned around in his cell. His hands clasped behind his back and he moved up against the bars so Eliza could slap the cuffs around his wrists.
"I dunno. Depending on how much trouble you cause me, I'll probably keep you as a bargaining chip to bend the Republic to my will."
Odessen was drawing nearer and Eliza returned to the bridge to initiate landing procedures, touching down on platform 7-Besh. She rushed through the ship to gather her own bag and Arcann's before activating the hover-stretcher.
There was almost too much to take care of by herself but somehow she managed to make it to the boarding ramp with her prisoner pulling up the front. The stretcher carrying Arcann's body floated behind Jace, drawing curious looks from the soldiers and Lana who awaited them on the landing pad.
"Toss him in the cell next to Kaliyo's and keep his presence quiet," Eliza ordered when Jace was taken into custody.
Lana hurried to her side, still perplexed, and furrowed her brows at the body bag. "Eliza, what—"
"Not now. Get his body down to the medical bay—I want him cleaned up and redressed before I inform Senya. Have the others meet me in the war room in one standard hour so I can update everyone at once."
"Yes, of course, but—"
"Theron and Scourge, how are they?" Eliza wasn't in the mood to answer questions just yet and pushed her own agenda.
"Both alive. Theron spent quite some time in kolto but he's awake now and improving much. Lord Scourge has started to receive treatment for his—"
"Good. I take it they're both in the medical bay as well?"
There was something terribly off about her behavior, Lana could sense it and hated the constant interruption but she swallowed her pride and nodded. "Yes, Commander."
"Very well. Inform them of my return and let them know I'll be by after the meeting," Eliza relayed the last of her orders and strode off, taking a side entrance into the base.
What she needed right now was her own room. A shower, privacy, and a moment to herself so she could break down and rebuild in order to face the next coming hours.
It wasn't long before heavy tears billowed down her cheeks and she crumpled up in the corner of the shower cabin. Drawing her knees up and stifling her sobs by biting into her own arm, even while the downpour of hot water drowned every other noise out. She hated herself for what she'd done and every nerve in her body ached for a different outcome—that she could turn back time and find another solution but there wasn't one. In all her weeks of planning her escape, she'd seen no other option but to take him out.
For far too long she sat on the wet tiles, shivering even as the entire refresher steamed up, and fighting for herself. There was no turning back, only the way forward, and she would have to get on with her head held high to stand by her choices and deliver official word to the rest of the galaxy. After facing Arcann's mother.
A little more than just an hour had gone by when Eliza appeared in the war room and immediately, the embraces of her friends and family wrapped around her. Rejoicing in her return, inspecting her closely to be assured she wasn't injured, and Darius made a little quip about disappearing acts and changing Masters to hide how worried he'd been.
"I know you're all looking for answers so here they are," Eliza began now that she'd steeled her emotions.
"Arcann is dead, I killed him. After he saved and captured me on Nathema, and brought me to the Spire, I spent weeks earning his trust and working toward the idea of peace negotiations. He'd become amenable to the idea of using Odessen as neutral grounds for said peace negotiations so last night, after talking things over, we boarded his ship to come here."
Keep it brief and free of too many personal details, that's the instruction she'd given herself. The less anyone knew about how deeply involved she'd gotten, the better, because then no one could think less of her for the despicable betrayal of trust or the way she'd played Arcann.
"I convinced Arcann to bring the Supreme Commander along, as a gesture of goodwill toward the Republic, and he is our captive now.
"Once aboard the ship, I waited for the perfect opportunity to strike, given the dampener around my ankle and a lack of weapons at my disposal. When I found an opening, I took it. It's over now and we need to discuss ways of moving forward as this leaves Zakuul without a ruler and the Eternal Fleet without command."
Baffled as they all were, Lord Cytharat was the first to speak. Not for a second did he buy into her stoic relay of information—he knew her better than that and he'd seen the live footage—but he would leave it for now and touched on the business part of her report.
"Have you learned how he controls the Fleet?"
"He never said but through observation, I've discovered the key—his throne. A piece of incredible technology that monitors and controls everything relating to the Fleet."
Me'ghan nodded and glanced at the galaxy map that showed which sectors were under the Eternal Fleet's control. "Then we need a way back into Zakuul to get to that throne."
"Agreed," said Praven, "but how?"
"After I've spoken with Senya, I will make an address to the entire galaxy and lay claim to Zakuul, at least temporarily. We're still at war and as the person who defeated Arcann, it's within my right to take his seat. Correct?" Eliza looked at the others.
"People would expect it, yes, but the Republic won't take this well," Lana pointed out. "Senya may not either."
"No, I don't suspect she will. Ideally, I'd surrender the throne to her after disabling the Fleet but there are risks, ones we will discuss at a later time."
"And until then?" Jonas asked.
Though her feet were already halfway to the elevator, Eliza paused to voice her instructions, "Monitor communications, keep an eye on Zakuul. Arcann informed his guards he'd be away, that buys us a bit of time."
She wanted to get out of there, sooner rather than later. There was little chance anyone in that room had bought her detached calm and she didn't want to wait around for anyone to ask the hard questions.
"I'm going up to the medical bay and I'll speak to Senya after. I suggest we reconvene in the morning."
Eliza swiveled on her heel and vanished upstairs, taking quick strides through the base until she reached the medical bay. Once at the swinging doors, she halted and took in a deep breath. Watching through the small, round window in the doors to see Theron sat up in bed and waiting for her while Lord Scourge appeared vast asleep.
"Welcome back," Doc said in hushed tones when he caught her standing there.
"Thanks, and thank you for looking after them..."
"Just doing my job. Suppose I oughta thank you for ending that bastard."
The mere idea of accepting gratitude for what she'd done left her reviled and Eliza lowered her eyes, only acknowledging his words with a faint nod.
"Sorry for asking you to handle clean up, given what he's taken from you... I just want him presentable for his mother's sake."
"Yeah, not my favorite thing to do but I get it."
Doc eyed her curiously, or at least those parts of her he could see—she had her back turned, still keeping an eye on the medbay. "Are you going in?"
"I am, unless you need something?"
"Nah. Just gonna pour me some rum to celebrate and then get to work. I'm glad you're back and when you're done with everything else, stop by so I can give you a full rundown of Scourge's treatment if you'd like."
"Will do."
Her feet kept her nailed to the ground a few seconds more, her hand hovering to push the door but then she made her way inside with a practiced smile on her face. Deep down she was beyond ecstatic to see Theron alive and well, to reunite with him, but the weight on her heart kept much of it under lock and key.
Without either of them saying a word, or needing them, she climbed into Theron's bed and curled up on his good side where his arm hooked around her instantly to hold her close. His mouth found its way to her forehead and the button of her nose until he met her lips and Eliza fought back her tears. His gentle and loving touch as mollifying as ever but she couldn't let up or relax, a thing Theron all too easily noticed.
"You did what you had to do," he whispered into her hair and he understood her struggle.
Regardless of justifiable reasons, he always carried a hint of guilt and regret toward the many people he'd used. Those he'd played and deceived for intel, for a lead, to further whatever mission he'd been assigned to and like no other did he understand Eliza's position now and the way she felt—there was always a price.
Too often he had felt his soul tainted by his actions, the betrayals he'd committed for the so-called greater good. It rarely mattered whether the person in question deserved to be lied to and mislead, it left a mark on him regardless and it was why he'd been forced to set certain boundaries for himself. To avoid getting too close, which was something he feared Eliza had failed to do.
"There couldn't be any other outcome," Theron continued, his soothing fingers stroking her hair.
"He trusted me..."
Close as they were, he could barely hear her when she sighed against his shoulder, "He trusted me and I used it against him. He... cared about me and I took advantage. I used the pain and trauma of his past to find a way in, so I could betray him."
Her tears returned—there was little use trying to hide them from Theron—and he held her even tighter than he already had been.
"You cared about him," Theron deduced.
"I do... did... and I think, no, I know that he had feelings for me…"
Without ever raising her voice above a whisper, and while biting back the occasional sob, she made the short trip down memory lane telling Theron every single detail since Nathema. Filling in the blanks and answering questions he'd been left with since viewing the live footage, and leaving out only one significant part of the story but that wasn't news she wished to share as part of this particular conversation.
Her dread and guilt tripled when Theron remained silent in the wake of her confessions but then she felt his lips again. On her cheek, kissing away the tears while he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and once again found her mouth.
"Thank you, for convincing him to spare my father, and I stand by what I said. You did what you had to do, there was no other option."
"He's an asshole and he hates me."
"My father?"
"Yeah. Sorry."
"He just about hates everything and everyone nowadays. I'll talk to him when I'm ready."
Eliza gave a sullen nod. "Do you think we could have had peace if I'd given Arcann a true chance?"
"No, and you know that as well, that's why you did what you did."
"Are you upset with me?"
"I'm worried you'll punish yourself for this, and I wish you'd told me sooner how much it had hurt when you killed Ravage—you shouldn't hide your pain from me, I would never judge you."
"I was angry with myself. For trusting him, for caring. For having affectionate feelings for him and I hated my own weakness in hurting over his death. Feeling embarrassed and it wasn't as though he deserved my aching over him," she admitted timidly.
"You have a heart and people matter to you, even when they're unworthy of your consideration. That's nothing to be embarrassed about," Theron assured her—it was one of those things he loved about her.
"And the kiss with Arcann?"
"Eh... not my favorite part of the story but…"
A quip about the fact he couldn't quite kill the bastard for it now that he was already dead sat on his tongue but given Eliza's upset and guilt, he held back.
"I can hardly blame him. I remember a couple of years ago saying goodbye to you and stealing an inappropriate kiss thinking it would be my one and only chance."
Something twinkled in his eyes when he looked at her and for the first time, a small semblance of a smile played on her face.
"I remember too..." She lifted her head by just a fraction and glanced past Theron at the bed next to his where Lord Scourge still slept. "Has he been difficult?"
"No, oddly kind and supportive but... he's an entirely different man, you need to prepare for that."
"I'll try, but for now I just want to lie here with you while I figure out how to break this news to Senya..."
Theron's brows furrowed in concern. "What will you tell her?"
"The truth. I can't lie—she deserves to know her son wasn't a complete monster, that he changed in the end. I owe that to them both."
"That will make it harder for her to accept that you killed him regardless."
"I know, and I'll deal with that, face the consequences. Besides, if she saw the footage as you have then there's no denying this anyway."
For as much as he understood her need to be honest about this, it troubled him a great deal as well and a part of him wished he could talk her out of it. No good could come from telling Senya everything she'd told him but he also knew there would be no changing her mind on this matter so he simply held her and once more brushed her lips, grateful to have her back and in his arms.
