Chapter 15

Severus did not bring up their conversation from the party again. He let the air clear and the topic die for now. He had thought about what she had said before walking away from him. He thought about how she said that leaving him was the reason why she didn't pursue Quidditch further. He found that very exasperating and shocking at the same time. He wanted the best for her and knew she'd thrive out on the pitch as longer as she didn't get injured, but at the same time he was shocked that she'd give that up for him. He knew that she said he was hers but her actions spoke even more than her words. He had never had anyone, anyone, think of him as much as she did. His whole life had been an independent, solitary existence except for the brief interruption of a certain red headed girl. He knew that Lily had cared for him as a friend, but Riley cared even more than he could fathom a person could care. He thought this attention, this affection, was something of fairy tales. Sometimes he thought it was too much for him to bear, a person so wrapped up in his own solitary confinement, but then she would just look at him—just look—and he knew everything was all right. Was this what love felt like? The moment he thought of the word, he immediately shook it from his mind and redirected his thoughts. That was too much introspection, more than he could take. He shook himself of these thoughts and ambled down the hall with Riley by his side.

"Apparently, you bring out the crazy in me." Riley said in a satiric nature with a glance from the corner of her sparkling eyes. "I never lost my—well, you know…never in public before."

Severus glanced back at her briefly before looking back at their path to the Gryffindor dormitory. He walked silently and elegantly by her side. She wasn't sure if he was deep in thought or unsure of what to say or perhaps he was just being his hushed Slytherin self.

"Did you notice how Lily talked to me? She wouldn't even look at you. I thought that was weird." Riley said carefully, still looking out of the edge of her eye. She waited for his reaction as they sauntered down the completely empty halls of the castle.

"Why do you think that is?" She asked quietly.

"I called her a mudblood." He said, unwavering with a deadpanned voice. He waited silently for her reaction as they walked together. It was better now than never. Perhaps he just wanted to clear up anything else that might lie between them. The words came out of him without any hesitation. He needed to tell her before anyone else did.

She was silent as well for a moment as she strode beside him. He awaited the explosion, the eruption of emotions, the outcry of anger, but she said nothing. He knew what those words did to people. It felt like minutes later, but it was, in reality, seconds later when her voice gave life to the empty hallways.

"What did she do to make you say that?" She asked plainly. He stopped his steps, stunned at her words. There was no anger, no rage at his obvious insensitive remark, just a question. She turned around as his steps ceased and she faced him straight on. A curiosity settled in her eyes. Her face was interested in his reply and he looked at that rosy-cheeked, tanned, cherry lipped girl and thought her could kiss her once again.

"You're not mad?" He asked incredulously. His face was blanched and his black eyes were wide in disbelief.

"Well, clearly you said it out of anger. It's not the nicest word…" She paused for a moment, "But I know you. That sounds like you were probably right to be upset. If you were that upset." Riley looked at him like she was surprised that he was surprised with her. He was an open book to her. She could read him page by page. None of those pages however, said cruel without reason.

"Words are just words. I've seen your actions and your actions show that you are a good person." She said, looking him deep into his eyes.

Severus pulled her close at that and kissed her deeply and thoroughly. His hands tangled themselves in her chestnut locks, pressing his face to hers. He backed her up into a nearby stone wall and leaned against her with his taller figure covering hers. She could feel how grateful he was through his black pants as he pressed his body against her. He continued to move his lips over hers in a gentle and hungry manner. Just the thought that someone would not judge him so quickly at a very stupid mistake in a very low point of his life, when others had held him by it for years, was overwhelming. He had never thought anyone would ever understand him the way she did.

"Thank you." He said softly and breathlessly, gently separating his lips from hers, holding her face between his hands so that he could show her with his eyes how much her words meant to him.

"Don't thank me for knowing you. You are a good person. I see it in you. I lo—" She slammed her mouth shut at the last word and clammed up suddenly. She almost said the one word she knew that was too early to say. She surprised herself with that little blunder. She had gotten too caught up in the moment. It was like her brain had shut off for a second and then swiftly flipped back on. He didn't seem to catch her slip up as he stood, holding her face between his hands still looking thankful. It seemed he was still concentrating on the fact that she hadn't judged him for his prior misgivings.

"I am curious though—" She said, abruptly changing the subject to cover up her momentary lapse in speech. "Why did you call her a mudblood?"

Severus nodded at her question, knowing that he would have to elaborate further. He knew that the curiosity would get the better of her and she'd have to know the whole story. He released his hands from her warm, pinked cheeks and settled them by his sides in anticipation of his own aggrieved memories.

"Before Hogwarts, I was the one who told Lily that she was a witch. She was my only real friend growing up. Then we met them." He said the last word with venom in his voice as if the word had been poisoned. "Lily didn't like them at first but then they must have grown on her. Two years ago, I was outside after my O.W.L.s and then the group of them, they—" He paused, his face suddenly screwed up in pain. He took his slender frame and went over to a nearby bench and sat down. She followed him silently, waiting for him to continue his story. She sat closely down on the bench next to him and placed her hand in his hand. He looked down at her smaller hand in his larger hand and she squeezed his hand gently.

"I know this is hard, Severus, but it will help to tell someone. You don't need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You are no Atlas." She said in a sweet, lulling manner, her light blue eyes urging him on. He hunched over in his normal sloped way and his black hair hung in his face.

"This bit is the hardest part." He said quietly, his face turning red with embarrassment. "They saw me and James held me upside down in the air in front of her. He tried to remove my pants and show off my underwear to everyone. Everyone sat there and laughed while I was being humiliated. I'll never forget it as long as I live. She tried to help me, but it was all too much. I didn't want to be helped by anyone in front of them. They picked on me for their own demented pleasure."

Severus allowed his dark hair to cover his face and hide the pain in his eyes. He was so embarrassed that someone had made him feel so small. And now Riley knew what a loser he was, which she was the complete opposite. She was a popular person, even if she mainly hung out with him. Her personality was magnanimous and personable. No wonder she got sorted into Gryffindor. He was the loner, the bat, the greasy git. He knew what people called him behind his back. How she could stand to be with him after that humiliating story, he didn't know.

Riley took her hand from his hand and tucked his dark hair away from his face and behind his ear. She stroked his head and looked at him lovingly.

"You had every right to be upset. The worst Lily got was being called a name. She wasn't humiliated in front of most of the school." She said sympathetically. She sat silent for a moment and then a thought of realization hit her.

"Shit." She hissed under her breath. Severus' head jerked up suddenly in shock of the curse that left her lips. "And here I was hanging around with them and even going with one of them to the ball." Riley said, rubbing her head in frustration. "Oh, Severus, I'm so sorry. I'm a jerk."

Severus looked at her in surprise, how was she apologizing now? After what he told her, she was apologizing to him. He thought he understood how she worked at times, but then she would pull things like this from mouth that threw him completely.

"Don't apologize, Riley. You didn't know." He paused looking at her dubiously. "How would you know? It's not like I'm an open book, spouting my thoughts out freely." He said, staring solemnly at her. "And Potter has calmed down a bit since he started dating Lily. I don't think she allows him to act like he did before." He said softly.

"I'll stop talking to them immediately." Riley said firmly with candor in her eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous, Riley. I'd never ask you to do that." Severus said with an equally firm tone. "You play Quidditch with Potter, are you never going to talk to him again on the pitch?"

Riley sighed and nodded, understanding his point.

"I could talk to them." She said determinedly, willing to help wherever she could.

"No." Severus said even firmer and clearly, "I don't want you to have to fix my problems for me."

Riley bit her bottom lip and nodded gently, at the tone of his voice.

"Alright. If that's what you want." She said, giving in, reaching for one of his long fingered hands.

Severus nodded in reply with a lightness to his eyes, grasping her hand in his tightly.

Further down the hall, unseen by their eyes, was a red headed girl in a floral frock. She stood quietly behind a wall hidden from the couple's view. She knew eavesdropping was wrong but she was curious after the kiss she had witnessed in Slughorn's office. He had told Riley everything—of course, from his side of the story, but everything. This surprised young Lily Evans more than she imagined. Severus was finally happy with someone and it wasn't her. She was grateful for this because she had hoped he would move on with his life. She was still not very trusting of him and she was surprised how easily Riley reacted to the use of that foul word. But she was starting to see a change in Severus for the better and it was all because of that girl. Lily took one more glance in their direction and walked back to the party. Severus and Riley were lip locked when she left them.


a/n: Thanks for the reviews!