:: Chapter Fifty One ::

The following day, Eliza woke long before the sun rose and, finding both Lord Scourge and Theron still vast asleep, she snuck from the medbay alone. She'd never intended to fall asleep there to begin with—just a nap to rest her eyes and mind but she'd gone for nearly seven hours.

Some discomfort and the aching of her muscles ruled her body but she forgot about it quick when she passed the second surgical area—the one Doc had transformed into a makeshift morgue—and she saw Arcann laid on the table awaiting a casket. It was about the last thing she'd wanted to see and yet, she pushed past the doors and went inside after ensuring no one else was around.

"Hey..." She pulled up a stool and sat down, resting her hand on his gloved and cold fingers. "Doc's done a nice job on you."

A deep sigh pushed up from her lungs. "I uh... told your mother everything, the whole truth. She deserved to know the good you'd done recently. I don't know if she's been to see you yet.

"I can't ask her either. She pretty much hates me right now and I deserve no less—I want to respect her wishes. She seems to be the only one, though. Everyone else is... grateful, glad like I've done this wonderful thing that was unavoidable. I guess it was but... fuck."

How strange it was to sit by his corpse and talk to him as though they were still friends. As if she wasn't the very reason he had nothing to say in return.

"Well, and you—you hate me now and I can't say I blame you. I would have liked to be friends, and I think we could have been. I wish I'd known you before all this happened so I could have been there for you sooner."

Her index finger drew idle circles across the back of his hand. "I know I betrayed you in life, and I'm sorry, but I won't betray you in death. I intend to claim your throne, I have to in order to recall the fleet and begin a peace because otherwise, your death will have been in vain and nothing changes...

"But, Arcann, I promise I will look after your people too. Give them back their freedom and hopefully, the good life they were used to. I won't let them down and I won't let you down. I suppose it's the least I can do, right?"

A small lump formed in her throat and Eliza inhaled deeply to suppress her tears.

"Is it wrong that I miss you? I'm home now, back with my family and Theron survived your attack. Scourge is... complicated but he's alive too and they're all with me once more but it's like I'm not quite here yet in a sense. Maybe I just need time to adjust and deal with everything."

Squeaking wheels cut the silence when she nudged her stool closer and clasped his hand tight. The fact she was sat talking to a dead man didn't faze her any longer—there was an odd comfort in getting the words and thoughts out of her system.

"Funny how I lectured you about kindness and emotion, that such things aren't a weakness, and yet I'm here hiding my own feelings from almost everyone. Afraid that they will not understand or judge my caring about you. That they'll admonish my betrayal and doubt my leadership.

"Theron knows—I can't hide from him, and that's probably a good thing. He's about the only one that could truly understand I suppose... it's odd but I'd never given much thought to what his work entails other than slicing things and shooting stuff."

One consideration after another poured from her lips, along with a wry chuckle, escaping into thin air rather than reach the man she saw as a friend of sorts.

"Most of it was true, you know? All those things we spoke of—Thexan, your past traumas, and pain. My reaction when you laid your scars bare. I meant every word but I also knew none of it could ever change what I would have to do. It was always going to come down to either you or me."

Her voice sunk to a broken whisper and a tear ran down her cheek, "I don't expect you to forgive me, and I would never accept it, but I do hope one day you will understand. If you're somewhere out there still as Marr was for me... or maybe you've found peace by your brother's side. Perhaps even Vaylin is there, I don't think her everyday demons would have chased her into whichever afterlife."

Eliza shook her head. "Or maybe I'm just wishful thinking trying to assuage my own guilt somehow though I'm not sure anything could. You were right—I will carry you with me for the rest of my life."

At last, she got up and pressed her lips to his blue-hued and cold forehead. "This is goodbye. I don't know what your mother's wishes for a burial will be but I doubt I'd be welcome. I'm sorry... for everything."

When she left the makeshift morgue, a figure stood hidden in the shadows wiped their own tears away but it was someone else entirely who approached her in the hallway.

"Are you okay?" asked Theron.

"Managing."

"It's not like you to be up this early."

"Fell asleep early and then couldn't anymore."

"I saw, by Scourge's side."

"Yeah. Didn't mean anything, we just talked for far too long."

He smiled and ran a hand through her scarlet locks before kissing her lips. "I wasn't worried."

Eliza nodded. "Are you okay for a walk? There's something I need to tell you still."

"Uh, yeah, sure," he agreed and took her arm while she led them both outside.

Choosing the silent stars slowly fading from the morning sky as their sole witness to a conversation Eliza half dreaded. She remembered Nyssa's dilemma all too well and with Theron's own background, she couldn't be certain how he'd feel about the news she had to share.

"Is it Scourge?" Theron asked when he saw the pensive expression on her face.

"No, it's not. I know I told you some time ago that I choose you, and I'm aware you've continued to worry regardless, I did too. There was no telling how I'd feel once I saw him again but..."

She crouched down at the very edge of the walkway, dangling her legs over the side while the Odessen Wilds spread out beneath them. Slowly coming to life and the earliest birds chirped with joy.

"Something has changed. I love him, I always will and I do want him in my life but... it's different now, and not because he's different or incapable. It's me. Maybe I buried him long ago and just cannot get back to those feelings or perhaps..." She blew out a deep sigh and shook her head.

"I don't know. Not what caused it, not what it is that changed but what I do know is... I'm yours. I'm not going anywhere, you're not losing me and even if by some miracle Doc manages to cure him, we're just not those people anymore. I choose you and I want to be with you."

A weight fell from his shoulders. She was right that he'd worried despite her assurances weeks ago and while his confidence had grown, he'd still felt like the outsider getting between two people who were 'meant to be'. Perhaps they were not.

"That's a relief, honestly, but if it isn't Scourge then what do you need to tell me?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Why?"

Eliza pulled a face and he scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Right, sorry. Uh... is it..."

"Yours? Yes. That was my first concern too, I rather freaked out, but Arcann had his physician examine me. The timing doesn't add up for Ravage so there's that."

"Good... good. Okay."

"Okay?"

He paced rather clumsily and near slipped his foot over the edge before he sunk down and sat beside her. Digesting the news far slower than she'd imagined and Eliza watched the multitude of frowns, wrinkles, and uncertain expressions wash over his face while he fiddled with his implants.

She leaned back on the palms of her hands and studied him from the corner of her eye. Calming her own nerves to give him time—she'd never expected him to jump for joy immediately—but then he uttered the most ludicrous response.

"So, do we get married?"

"What? No."

"No? But—"

"No. Stars, you're such an idiot sometimes." Eliza rolled her eyes but she smiled too, feeling her love for him flutter even at his peculiar reaction.

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot, right?" he tried with a sheepish grin.

"You are, but no—we don't have to get married. Marriage isn't a solution or band-aid for whatever life stuff is going on. I mean, the first time you got married, you did it thinking it would help you get over me for good and now you're asking because I'm pregnant?"

"Suppose that's not the best reason..."

"No, and do you actually want to get married?"

"I don't know, I hadn't thought that far ahead yet. Our time together has been so crazy over the past weeks that I'm just happy to have you with me."

"Well, same here."

He moved closer, his arms pulling her against his chest. "But won't it be odd for our kid if we're not married?"

"Why would it be? Yours never married and they..."

The latter part of that unfortunate comparison died on her tongue and she flashed him an awkward grimace. Holding it, her bottom lip quivering to swallow back her chuckles while he shook his head at her and then they both burst out laughing.

"Never mind, horrible example."

"The worst, yes," he agreed with a smile.

"Look, what matters is we love each other and we're in this together. We don't need a marriage license for that and our son won't need to see us wear wedding bands just to know his parents love him."

"I guess you're—wait, son? His? It's a boy?"

"According to Scourge. I didn't tell him but he noticed the change in my Force signature."

Eliza looked at him again and gently caressed the nine 'o clock shadow covering his jaw. "Are you okay with this?"

"It's the last thing I'd expected but give me time to let it sink in?"

"Mmhm." She lingered in his embrace and cast her eye to the rising sun, appreciating its warmth teasing her face.

"I'm sorry you were alone when you found out... How do you feel about it?"

"Relieved that it's yours but other than that? I don't know. As you said, it's unexpected."

The sun rose higher and with it, others on Odessen roused from deep slumber to face a new day of work. Maintenance, inventory, combat training and routine checks awaited most while others piled into the kitchens to serve up breakfast.

Eliza and Theron lingered sat on the rafters for a moment longer, two minds dwelling on the twist in their future together, until a familiar vessel flew overhead and made landing several feet away. The Dare, Me'ghan's vessel she'd loaned to Jenna and Andronikos, touched down and its crew deplaned.

"Don't tell people yet," Eliza pleaded with Theron when they got up. "There's enough going on already and I'd rather wait."

He nodded. "Jonas?"

"He's not people, he can know. Just, remind him to hold off on the dad-jokes for now."

"He'll be so disappointed," Theron joshed with a half smile.

They walked the short distance to greet the crew, Jenna being the first to embrace them both while she reprimanded her callous Commander.

"Don't you ever do that to us again! I don't leave people behind, it's not what we do."

"Noted," Eliza smiled and turned to Andronikos standing there shaking his head.

"You're one crazy bitch Commander, but I'm glad to see ya back in one piece."

"Sometimes crazy is the only thing that gets the job done." She shook hands with Aric and Kendra.

"Chuck your gear and join us down in the war room—we need to plan our next move."

Eliza signaled a group of engineers to refuel the ship while Theron helped the others get their luggage and remaining supplies back inside. Half an hour later, armed with on-the-go breakfast and steaming cafs, those Eliza trusted most gathered in the war room and began discussing their options.

Thanks to Vowrawn's spying efforts, Eliza's capture, and months of observation, they had a pretty good idea about Zakuul's infrastructure and the layout of the Spire but that was no guarantee for success.

"The Knights, do they serve the Eternal Empire and Zakuul, regardless of who sits on the throne, or do they serve only Valkorion and his family?" asked Praven.

"I suspect the former but it's difficult to say. We don't know how Zakuul was governed prior to Valkorion and Arcann taking the throne," Lana pointed out.

"Regardless, I don't expect the Knights to simply let us pass—we'll be facing quite a bit of resistance," she added.

Lord Cytharat nodded and rounded the strategy table. "And the civilians? Do we have any idea where they stand?"

"Not quite but, Charlie, didn't you receive various communication requests from someone inside Zakuul?" Jonas turned to his wife.

"I did. There is a resistance cell operating from within the city—they want to join our ranks and see their people freed."

"How many?" Me'ghan asked.

"A couple dozen according to their leader, possibly more by now."

"That's something. What do you think, Eliza?"

"Charlie, Jonas, get their names and vet them thoroughly. If they pass background checks you can bring them in."

The sullen grimace on Lana's face didn't go unnoticed. Lately, she'd often been passed over where intelligence and security were concerned but Eliza wasn't taking any chances—there was too much at stake to risk further mistakes and her faith in the former SIS-couple was far higher.

"What happens after you lay claim to Zakuul?" Jenna mused out loud and sipped her caf. "Will the Empire pose a problem?"

Eliza shook her head. "Unlikely, but I do need to speak with Vowrawn soon. I'd say the Republic will be our biggest adversary once we have the Knights and the Eternal Fleet on our side."

"With the combined power of the Empire and Zakuul, you could bring the Republic to its knees," Lord Cytharat made an observation merely to gauge where her mind was at.

"I have no desire to bring down the Republic. I want peace, a chance for those who wish it to return home. Hopefully, all we need do is apply a little pressure to convince the Senate to lay down their arms and agree to the terms."

"Which are?"

"To be decided at a later time. Now, the galaxy address... I have no idea what to say. Anyone?"

Lana cleared her throat. "I took the liberty of writing up a draft, perhaps it will inspire you?"

"Thank you, send it over please." Eliza smiled. "We'll get to work on it shortly so it's ready by the time I claim the throne."

"What are you doing about the Supreme Commander?" asked Kendra.

"He's my problem." Theron stepped forward. "I'll go pay him a visit shortly and see if I can't talk some sense into him."

"Are you sure you're up for that?" Jonas grimaced.

His best friend shrugged. "No point in delaying."

Malavai hesitated for a moment, knowing he was about to broach a sensitive subject, "And Arcann?"

"Remains here for now. We've got some time before his body needs to be moved and hopefully, Senya will have made a decision by then," Eliza said.

"And if she hasn't?"

"Then we bring him with us to Zakuul for whichever burial traditions they observe there."

No one moved to object—there was an unspoken agreement between all that no one was to push her on the matter of Arcann, or ask for anything she wasn't willing to share by her own volition.

Eliza collected her datapad and half cold caf, pecked Theron's cheek and excused herself to make a few private calls but Lord Cytharat stopped her by the elevators.

"Hey, do you think you'll have time for lunch later on? My parents and sister are eager to meet you and... they're your family too."

"I'll be there, and perhaps then you'll tell me about this proposal I didn't get to witness?" She flashed him a knowing look and held his left hand up in her own.

"How..."

"It's written all over the both of you and don't think I didn't notice the addition to your ring collection."

He beamed with pride. "Of course you did. I'll give you all the details, at lunch."