A NEET IN SHINING ARMOUR CHAPTER V: THE FIRST ENCOUNTER

"5,000,000 Eris?!"

Kazuma's party was in shock. After the completion of a certain emergency quest, each member found themselves with a large amount of wealth under their belts. Of course, Kazuma had the most.

"Yup, turns out that the cabbage that I eliminated were rarer and were worth more money than the rest." Kazuma explained, his arms leaning down on an empty guild table and his face completely blank. His other party members were surrounding him, each one filled with shock.

"Ah, Kazuma-kun! You should share some of that with us!" Kivana proposed. "I'll be good and won't spend it all, I swear!"

"As much as I'd like to believe that Kivana, I'm going to decline. After all, you guys all have a lot of money, don't you?" Kazuma asked.

"Yeah, but nowhere near as much as you!" Megumin replied, a tinge of jealousy in her voice. She was right, the other members of Kazuma's party each had a lot of money after the quests. "And you know exactly why we don't have as much money as you! You remember the day of the quest…"

-flashback-

"All adventurers! Please assemble at the front gate!" An announcement echoed throughout the town of Axel. "I repeat, all adventurers! Please assemble at the front gate!"

"Hmm? I wonder what's going on?" Kazuma asked out loud. All the other adventurers around him had began to leave.

"That's an emergency announcement, they always go off when an emergency quest pops up out of nowhere or if something is threatening the town." One of the adventurers, who was just walking past as Kazuma asked his question, explained. "The quests usually offer large rewards to all those who take part, so it's a great opportunity for beginner adventurers like us to earn some easy Eris."

"Easy Eris? That's perfect for us! Since there aren't any easy quests to take part in normally thanks to that Demon King general moving in nearby, this may be the easiest chance for us to earn some money for a long time!" Kazuma was ecstatic. He missed being able to spend money, which is something that a lack of quests made him forget. He was quick to gather his party and drag them to the front gate, whether they liked it or not.

Literally every adventurer in Axel had gathered in front of the gate, forming a rather formidable host full of semi-experienced fighters and mages. Kazuma's party made it to the front of the pack, one of them very eager to get started and the rest looking rather nervous, much like the rest of the adventurers.

"Attention all adventurers! A large flock of cabbages are approaching at fast speeds! The annual cabbage harvesting season has begun!" Luna exclaimed through the speaker system, something that seems a bit odd for a fantasy world to have.

"W-Wait, cabbages? Aren't they a vegetable that grows in the ground and not something that flies?" Kazuma asked, simply shocked at the news of flying vegetables.

"Don't you know? Cabbages take flight once they reach optimum taste and maturity. They fly right through towns like this and torment the inhabitants, so it's up to us adventurers to stop them." Darkness explained, readying her sword. "It's times like this when I'm able to show everyone my skills as a female knight!"

"I think it's best if you keep your 'skills' to yourself." Kazuma deadpanned.

"Could I ever resist the urge to let off explosion magic on such a large number of opponents? No, I couldn't!" Megumin shouted, stroking her staff and looking towards the approaching green mass with glowing red eyes.

"Yes, you could and you should!" Kazuma yelled.

"Don't worry Kazuma-kun! R'hllor-sama's light shall guide us through this battle!" Kivana boldly exclaimed, standing next to Megumin and pointing her staff towards the cabbages.

"For some reason, I have more faith in this child than I do everyone else."

Before long, the cabbages were within striking range. Each adventurer drew their weapons and let out a furious battle cry and charged towards the vegetables. Arrows and magic bolts were flying left and right, and cabbages were falling like flies. Although, many adventurers were hit by the fast-flying food and were knocked unconscious, some with very severe wounds. Darkness voluntarily used herself as a meat shield to guard those who were knocked down, so they could be healed or so they could retreat. Despite all her armour breaking and falling off, her clothes tearing and her arousal only growing with each collision, she stood her ground and many other adventurers held her in high regard from that moment on, calling her things like a model knight and the thing that all adventurers should hope to become.

Megumin was, surprisingly, one of the last people to fall during the quest. Those nearest to her said she spent the whole thing talking up her explosion magic and how it'll save everyone, before she got hit by a cabbage and remembered that she actually had to use the magic in order to save people with it. Despite being able to use her explosion magic only once, she was able to take out a large number of the cabbages.

Kivana was probably the most successful out of the three girls in Kazuma's party. Unlike Megumin, she can use her magic more than once and unlike Darkness, she doesn't get off from being attacked, so she had nothing stopping her from focusing on the fight. Her lack of real priest skills was made up for by the sheer power of her spells granted to her thanks to her devotion to R'hllor. Despite this, she was still taken down.

Naturally, Kazuma was the most successful one in his party when it came to the quest. His dragonsteel sword was much lighter and sharper than any of the other swords that the other adventurers had, so it was easier for him to take down cabbages. He did take a few hits, but was mostly unscathed by the end of the fight.

After the fight had finished and the cabbages had been collected, Kazuma found each of his party members lying on the ground, each of them suffering from their own very unique injuries. One of them was actually injured, one didn't have enough vitality to move, and the other was writhing on the ground in a strange masochistic pleasure.

'I need new party members…' Kazuma thought as he seriously considered walking away.

-flashback end-

"...and that's why we don't have as much money as you!" Megumin concluded. "If you didn't have your crazy luck, there would be no way you'd have that much money!"

"How much did you guys even earn?" Kazuma asked out of curiosity.

"1,500,000 Eris." Megumin replied.

"2,000,000 Eris!" Kivana cheered.

"Nothing…" Darkness muttered.

"See? You all have more than enough money!" Kazuma cheered. "Darkness, I'll give you some of mine since you don't have any, but the rest of you are very well off. Go buy yourselves some new gear or something. With our combined quest rewards, we'll have enough to live soundly until that Demon King general leaves."

"Alright! I'm gonna go do that right now!" Kivana replied cheerfully, running off with a skip in her step.

"Ugh, that girl is way too reckless…" Kazuma muttered. Darkness looked at the boy expectantly with her hands out in front of her, which Kazuma responded to by silently placing a small yet heavy bag of coins into her hands.

"Kazuma, Kazuma." Megumin piped up. "After I buy myself a new staff, accompany me for some training."

"Hmm? Training? Why don't you go yourself?" Kazuma asked.

"Because I can't get back to town if I collapse after each explosion. Besides, you could test your own skills on any monsters we find on the way there and back." Megumin suggested. "Besides, it's not like you're gonna do anything while we're gone. I bet that, if I hadn't asked you to come with me, you would just sit in here and waste all your quest money on food."

'Damn, how did she know?' Kazuma thought. "Alright then, fine. Since you have nobody else to help you, I guess I'll take pity and help out."

"Thank you Kazu- wait, what do you mean by 'take pity'? I could have asked anyone in our party to help me out, but I chose you! I'm sure Darkness or Kivana would love to help!"

"Mhm, let's get going already. We've got to buy our new stuff still."

-line-

"This should be a good enough place." Megumin concluded, using her brand-new staff to point at an abandoned castle in the distance, on a nearby hill. The new gear shopping didn't take long, even with the orders of two people. Megumin didn't want (or didn't think to get) a new outfit, and instead chose to buy the staff alone. Kazuma, however…

"An abandoned castle? That's a good pick. Nobody is gonna complain if we rough this place up a bit, right? It's already falling to bits!" Kazuma examined. Unlike Megumin, he opted to completely change his outfit. He bought a gold-trimmed green mantle, simple pants and leather boots, and a white shirt with a metal breastplate over the top and metal bracers on his wrists. He hung his longsword off of his new leather belt, adorned with brass knobs to make it look cooler.

"Wow, Kazuma. I know I've already said this, but you look way more like a real adventurer now! That old suit really didn't make you look like much." Megumin commented, her final statement hurting Kazuma more than it should have.

"Oi! That's my homeland's clothes you're insulting!" Kazuma yelled. "Anyway, hit that thing with an explosion!"

"With pleasure!" Megumin replied, raising her voice and striking a overly dramatic pose. As she pointed her staff into the air, orange magical rings appeared around her, the tip of the staff and above the castle. The air began to get cold and Kazuma could feel the magic power radiating off of the Crimson Demon in front of him.

"Oh, blackness shrouded in light! Frenzied blaze clad in night! In the name of the crimson demons, let the collapse of thine origin manifest. Summon before me the root of thy power hidden within the lands of the kingdom of demise!" Megumin chanted. "EXPLOSION!"

Just like last time, an explosive beam was fired from the tip of the staff, which travelled up over the castle and went down with insane speed. The air and clouds around them were pushed back as the explosion enveloped most of the castle, the impact sound still echoing throughout the countryside. Just as the explosion reached its maximum height, Megumin fell to the ground.

"Burn to ashes within the crimson…" Megumin muttered, her head still facing the explosion. "Hah! This is fantastic…"

"Ah, I guess this is where I come in." Kazuma muttered, walking up to Megumin and placing his hand on her neck.

"O-Oi, Kazuma! What do you think you're doing?!" Megumin shouted. "Are you some kind of pervert?!"

"What, no! I'm going to use Drain Touch on you so I can give you some of my vitality! That way, you'll be able to walk yourself back to town!" Kazuma replied, half angry and half embarrassed. "What made you think I was a pervert, anyway?"

"Don't give me that! I've seen the way you look at all the girls in the guild! The receptionist Luna, the waitresses, the adventurers, even Darkness! Staring at all of them with your perverted, lecherous eyes!" Megumin accused, her face buried in the dirt. "You can't be safe with a guy like you around!"

"Oi! Even if that's true, do you really think I'd do that kind of thing to you? I'm not a lolicon!" Kazuma cried.

"...for the sake of my vitality and your life, I'll let you off this one time for implying that I'm a loli. I'm not, by the way. I'm fourteen, that counts as an adult in this country." Megumin muttered as Kazuma's vitality flowed from his hands and into her body.

"Then what do you call your…" Kazuma began.

"I call it 'not having any growth spurts'! Now shut up and give me my vitality so we can go back!" Megumin cried.

-line-

From that day forth, Kazuma and Megumin went to the exact same spot for their training every day. Megumin would always use her explosion, which was getting stronger with each fire, and Kazuma would use his set of skills to provide Megumin with the vitality she needed to walk and to kill any monsters that revealed themselves along the way. No matter the occasion…

"EXPLOSION!"

Even if it was raining…

"-PLOSION!"

During the heat of the summer…

"-OSION!"

Even at lunchtime!

"-ION!"

...Megumin never deviated from her training plan. Many weeks passed since the emergency cabbage harvest quest, and her skill with Explosion had only increased. Now, her explosions would envelop the entire castle, reaching heights that it would have never reached before. Soon enough, she'd have enough destructive power to destroy the entirety of Axel, if she wished. However, the original problem of her using too much mana still remained.

Kazuma's skills had increased too, though not nearly at the rate that Megumin's had. Using Lich skills like Drain Touch felt more natural to him than they used to, and every swing of his sword felt easier and more powerful than the last.

After all the explosion training, Kazuma thought it would be a good idea to rate each explosion on their destructive force and the height that it reaches, just so it wouldn't be as boring for him (which is fair, walking someone somewhere and having to help them back up and drag them back doesn't seem like a very fun task, even if it is to help a friend).

"Hah! Kazuma, how was that one?" Megumin gasped, falling to the floor after letting of a very impressive explosion. The man in question was looking off towards the castle, where the remnants of the explosion could still be seen.

"Hmm.. that was impressive. The explosion had great height, and I can still feel the air being pushed away from the initial impact." Kazuma observed. "I'd give it an 80 out of 100."

"An 80?! That was at least a 90 explosion!" Megumin cried.

"My decision is final, now let's head back. I don't have enough vitality to give you today so I'm just going to have to carry you." Kazuma said, not even waiting for Megumin to respond as he picks her up and places her on his back. "You know, one of these days you're gonna have to find a new explosion target. That castle won't stay like that forever and some of the people in town are starting to complain…"

"Let them complain! Nothing can stop me from using Explosion! Besides, if a Crimson Demon doesn't use Explosion once a day, they die!" Megumin yelled fiercely, almost as if it were true.

"There's no way that can be true. Yunyun doesn't use explosion and she's perfectly fine!" Kazuma argued.

"Shut up, it's definitely true!" Megumin retorted. From that point on, the rest of the walk was spent in silence. That's how most of their walks are, though sometimes they do talk about things like any prevalent issues that revealed themselves throughout the day.

When the two got back, they were surprised to see all the adventurers gathered in front of the main gate. Though, the most surprising part was seeing a strange, headless knight sitting on top of a headless horse, looking towards the group of adventurers and shouting like crazy. Megumin jumped off of Kazuma's back and briskly walked ahead.

"...after day, after day! Wh-Who is the screw-loose imbecile who keeps firing explosion magic at my castle?!" The headless knight yelled, his voice growing more and more irritated as he spoke. "A-Ah, it must be you two! Yes, you two adventurers coming back to town!"

"Those adventurers… I think I've seen them before…" People within the crowd of adventurers were murmuring as Megumin and Kazuma arrived back to town. Darkness and Kivana ran to greet them, with Wiz not too far behind.

"Kazuma! Megumin! You two have been using your explosion magic on this Dullahan's castle, haven't you?" Darkness asked, her voice filled with worry. "That Dullahan, he's one of the Demon King's generals! He's called Verdia, and he's the one who moved in nearby and drove all the easy-level monsters away!"

"I thought you knew already, Kazuma-san!" Wiz fretted. "If he chooses to attack us out of anger, I don't know if we'll be able to stop him…"

"Don't worry Wiz, we'll think of something. Right, Megumin? You started this mess any-" Kazuma began. He looked back to pin the blame on the Crimson Demon girl, only to find that she wasn't behind him anymore. "Huh?"

"Ah, so you're the menace who's been using explosion magic on my castle, day after day!" Verdia cried. "Because of you, I haven't been able to relax at all! I refused to destroy you all since you're all small fries, don't make me regret that decision by relentlessly attacking me without my notice! Do you understand, wench?!"

Megumin stood silent, before striking yet another dramatic pose. "My name is Megumin! An Arch Wizard and commander of Explosion magic!"

"..what on earth is a 'Megumin'? Are you trying to make a fool of me?"

"N-No! I am a Crimson Demon, and the greatest wizard in this city!" Megumin yelled. "Using my explosion magic on your castle each day was a brilliant strategy of mine to lure you, a leader in the Demon King's army, out to me. You fell for it, and came here alone."

The adventurers around them gasped. Kazuma leaned in towards Darkness. "Hey, since when did this mistake become a strategy?" He whispered.

"Not to mention she proclaimed herself the greatest wizard in the city…" Darkness whispered back.

"Oohhh, this is so scary!" Kivana shrieked.

"Very well. You've outsmarted me this time, but I have no intention of fighting you." Verdia then turned his horse away from the crowd and looked back. "I'll be staying in that castle for a while longer, so please don't use explosion magic on it again. Understand?"

"Impossible. You see, we Crimson Demons need to use explosion once a day, or we die."

'Oh no, not that again…' Kazuma mentally cursed.

"H-Hey! I've never heard of that before! Don't make up convenient lies like that!" Verdia rebutted. "Does that mean you don't intend to stop using explosion magic on my castle, no matter what?"

"Yes." Megumin declared.

"Fine. I may have given myself up to the forces of evil, but I'm still a knight. I have no intention of mowing down all you weaklings. Instead, how about I make you suffer a bit, Crimson Demon girl?" Verdia muttered. He raised his metal fist and enveloped it with a deep red magic.

Megumin took a step back. "It's too late to run now, girl. I sentence thee to die." Verdia announced. "You will die in one week." The Dullahan released the magic from the tip of his index finger, smirking as the beam almost hit Megumin. But, before it could hit…

"Ahhh!" Darkness had moved from the crowd and in front of Megumin, so she could take the hit from Verdia's spell. The magic he released took the form of a skull, which surrounded and flickered over Darkness's body.

Darkness screamed in pain until the magic disappeared, when she fell to the dirt. Megumin, Kazuma and Kivana all ran up to the incapacitated crusader.

"Darkness? Darkness!" Megumin cried.

"Are you alright?" Kazuma asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Darkness struggled to sit up again. "Agh… it doesn't seem to be very serious…"

"Hah! This may prove to be more effective than what I had originally planned, especially against a tight-knit group of adventurers like yourselves! Instead of suffering yourself, you all will suffer as your fellow adventurer wastes away as the week goes by, shaking in fear of death until it finally reaches her!" Verdia laughed and evil laugh. "And it's all your fault, Crimson Demon girl!"

"H-How terrible…" Darkness muttered. "This Dullahan has cast a death spell on me, and is making us obey his orders if we want it removed. That's how this is, isn't it?!"

"H-Huh?" Verdia gasped.

"Forcing me to go to his castle, no doubt to perform h-hardcore perverted acts on me for his own personal gain! Can't you tell? Those eyes, hidden under his helmet! Those are the eyes of a perverted degenerate! A lady knight, imprisoned in the castle of a Dullahan… oh, what should I do, Kazuma?!" Darkness cried, a large blush forming on her face.

'Now is the worst time for this…'

"I d-don't want to go, but I have no choice! I shall accompany him if I must, and I'll return once the curse is removed!" Darkness then stood up completely and ran towards the Dullahan.

"W-What a maniac…" Verdia muttered. "A-Anyway, stop using explosion magic on my castle! Crimson Demon girl! I give you a challenge. Make your way to my castle. If you can reach me, in the main hall, I'll release the curse on your crusader friend. But will you even make it that far? Haha!"

"H-Huh?" Kazuma's party watched as Verdia left, using his magic to teleport. They were all left in shock. Darkness now has a curse that will kill her in one week, and the only way for them to dispel it is to fight their way to the Dullahan.

CHAPTER V END

A/N: Well, here's where my story deviates from Konosuba's canon the most. Without Aqua, Kazuma's party has no way of easily getting rid of Darkness's curse, so they're gonna have to fight their way through Verdia's castle. Writing that is gonna be tons of fun, I'm sure...