Sorry for not updating on Tuesday like I promised. I have been feeling like dookie for like a week straight and just haven't felt up to putting the next chapter up but here it is, finally. Enjoy!
"Hey, Armin." Jean nudges the blond after Levi exits the room. "Why the cloak?"
Armin looks over at the commanders table.
"The one thing Ina always remembered was what her abusers were wearing. My guess is, she saw Commander Dok's MP insignia and thought the worst. She's afraid that if they see her, they'll take her away."
"Do you think Dok is one of them? One of the sick bastards that hurt her?" Eren contemplates. Armin shakes his head. "Something is telling me he's probably not directly involved. Ina was always found by low level MPs and they'd keep her for weeks at a time. The commander spends more time in the capital than anywhere else." Armin is just theorizing.
"If I ever find out who hurt that kid I swear I'm going to end up in jail." Jean shakes his head, his anger bubbling so close to the surface.
"We'll probably be cell mates." Eren adds.
"I'm gonna castrate those bastards once I get my hands on them." Sasha nearly snaps her fork in half. "I'm so mad right now I can't fucking eat." She huffs.
"Guys, take it easy. Let's focus on what's in front of us. Ina is here, those monsters are not. She's our priority." Armin points out.
"Well of course she is, that'll never change. But every time she flinches or apologizes or gets jumpy, doesn't it just make your skin crawl?" Connie shivers.
"Yeah." Armin's response is quiet. "Yeah it does."
"Armin wasn't saying he doesn't want to kill those MPs for harming Ina. He's just saying that we'll have to wait for a better time to talk about our plans to murder military personnel." Mikasa downs the last of her drink.
"Uh… Yeah that's pretty much what I meant. Don't get me wrong, if I ever find out who they are, I'm quitting the corp that day to focus on hunting them all down. I wouldn't be able to rest knowing any of them was still drawing breath." Armin's fist ball up at his side, but he relaxes after a few seconds and a deep breath. "But Ina is here with us now. And she needs each and every one of us. We can worry about those sick bastards later, but not now."
"Armin, you should go make sure she's alright." Krista looks worried. "Update us when you can."
Armin nods and jogs out of the mess hall.
He makes a guess and assumes Levi took Ina to his office. Won't be any accidental run ins in there.
"Did anyone else hear Ina call Levi… Papa?" Connie is scratching his head.
"Oh my god I thought I was hearing things!" Sasha exclaims.
"I guess we shouldn't be too surprised." Eren shrugs. "I mean, she adopted all of us. It was just a matter of time before she got to Levi."
"It's not just that. He's letting her call him that. Levi likes it!" Sasha laughs. "That's so cute!"
"It's so weird." Jean needs the world to slow down for just a few seconds. "What just happened?"
"Hopefully Armin can fill us in." Mikasa comments quietly.
There's a crashing noise, followed by a lot of shuffling. When they look over to see what the commotion is, they find Hange being held down by three -wait- now it's four soldiers.
"You sick bastard!" She growls. "Get the fuck off of me!" She doesn't even sound human as she puts up a hell of a fight against the people struggling to keep her on the floor.
They've never heard anyone sound so furious before.
"You knew he'd trigger her. Goddammit Erwin, how fucking dare you put her through that!"
Jean instinctively grabs the closest person to him to keep from falling over. That person he grabs happens to be Eren, who is not complaining. He also needs help staying upright. Krista and Sasha join hands and even Mikasa looks completely taken aback. Every single scout flinches when Hange starts yelling again.
"They can't hold me forever!"
And she's right. She bucks and flails and sends the scouts holding her down flying.
"You don't gamble with a child like that! You don't do that!"
A new set of scouts rush Hange to keep her from getting up off the ground.
Erwin doesn't move a single muscle. Just sits there. He knows exactly what he did. Knew what bringing an MP on base would do to Ina. Hange was right, this was a gamble. Erwin will live with this decision for the rest of his life. He'll go to sleep knowing that, even though he never raised a hand to Ina, he hurt her. She spent so long doing her damnedest to recover from her traumatic past, and Erwin flushed every single day of progress, every single struggle, right down the toilet. He knew that Ina would be triggered by Dok's arrival. Everyone knows how she feels about the MP insignia. How the mythical creature in the crest haunts her day and night. He counted on her having a strong reaction, and hates himself even more for realizing that. As usual, he was thinking about the overall outcome and wasn't concerned about how they got there. Not worried about how Ina might feel or how she might have to start back at square one.
Erwin already knew he was going to hell for this things he's done. This just put him in the goddamn fast lane.
He hasn't even gotten his earful from Levi yet. But in the years that they've worked together, Levi has never once scared Erwin. Hange on the other hand, has given him nightmares. Erwin is realizing that he deserves her unyielding wrath. Deserves the slight tremor in his hands and the cold sweat breaking out under his uniform. He deserves whatever is coming to him.
"Ina, look at me. It's just me and you now. You're in a safe place." Levi says to the little girl sitting on his desk.
Ina's eyes finally open, red and still wet with tears.
"Tell me what happened."
She just shakes her head, the hood of the cloak coming down in front of her eyes. Levi moves it just slightly. She won't let him remove the cloak or even let the hood all the way down.
"I'll get in trouble." Her voice is quiet. She holds herself and starts to rock slightly. "I'll get in trouble. I'll get in trouble."
"Remember, you answer to me. Nobody else." He holds her to stop the incessant rocking.
"I don't want to go back, Papa. I can't go back. They'll hurt me again. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to die." Ina whimpers.
"Look at me, Ina, look at me." He finally gets her full attention. "Listen to me. You are not going to die, okay? Do you hear me? No one is going to hurt you. Not now, not ever. I don't want you talking like that, Ina. That part of your life, those bad things that used to happen to you, it's over. Understand? It's over. I- I'm your Papa. I'm here to protect you. Nothing else matters more to me than your safety, Ina. I promise you that I will do anything it takes to keep you safe."
When Hange told Levi that he was a parent, he didn't really know how to react. He wasn't sure if it really meant anything. But right here and now, he is devoting his entire life, everything he is and everything he has, to this child. It feels different to devote yourself to a person this way. Different, but not wrong. Levi think about his mother. About all she sacrificed just so he could live. He took it for granted up until he met Ina. Until he realized that there would eventually come a time when he loved someone enough to put them before himself. Kuchel gave her life for her son. Levi will do the same for his daughter.
"I'm going to ask you one question, Ina. Do you feel like you can answer?"
"Yes, Papa." Her eyes don't leave his.
"Did you recognize that man? Have you seen him before?" Levi gently takes her face in his hands and wipes her tears. He asks this with a sense of urgency. All she needs to do is point them out. He will take care of the rest.
Ina shakes her head. "I didn't know his face. Just his uniform. That… That awful horse!" Ina tries to cover her eyes again but Levi stops her.
"Ina, that was Commander Nile Dok. He is in charge of the Military Police."
"The commander?"
"Yes. Ina listen to me, he may wear the same uniform as the others, but he is one of the good soldiers. He won't harm you."
"You're not leaving me with-"
Levi shushes her. "No. I'm keeping you right here by my side. I just want you to know that you have nothing to fear while he is visiting."
Ina looks uneasy.
"It's going to be okay, Ina. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, Papa."
There's a knock at the door. Ina gasps and grabs Levi's shirt, pulling him closer. What a grip this kid has.
"What?!" Levi calls out.
"Sir, it's Armin."
Levi feels Ina relax right away.
"Do you want to see him right now?"
Ina nods.
"Come in, brat. Shut the door behind you." Levi says as he helps Ina off the desk. The cloak falls almost down to Ina's ankles, but she wears it like a protective shield.
"Ina!" Armin runs to the small child and takes her into his arms. "We were so worried."
"I'm okay." Ina mumbles.
"You're okay." Armin responds.
"I'm okay." She repeats.
When they separate, Armin looks into her eyes. She's trying to be so brave right now even though she doesn't have to be.
"Good girl."
He smiles at her.
"Brat, take her to the barracks. Stay with her."
"Yes, sir. Come on, little missy. Time for bed." Armin walks away with the small child in his arms.
"Ina, get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Papa."
Ina waves goodbye as Armin leaves Levi's office. Once outside, she pulls down the hood of the cloak to cover her face.
"I'm right here." Armin whispers to her. "It's going to be alright."
"Don't leave me, please." Ina wraps her arms tighter around his neck.
"We're staying together. All of us."
Right about now, Armin would hand Ina off to Krista and the other girls. He and the rest of her big brothers would bid her goodnight and tell her they'd see her in the morning. Not tonight. Upon their return to the barracks, Ina's brothers and sisters from the 104th cadet class crash in the boys barracks. They push two beds together so ina can sleep snuggled in between Krista, Sasha, and Mikasa. Connie and Eren sleep on the two bunks above (several strings were pulled to get Eren out of the dungeon for a night), while Armin and Jean agree to take to the floor. Armin likes to be easily accessible to Ina. Especially at a time like this.
Ina has never felt safer. She's so grateful to have them. They'll protect her. They won't let the man with the frightening horse on his jacket take her away.
She sleeps soundly that night.
"I don't want to go." Ina shakes her head.
"Honey bunch, you have to eat something." Sasha tries her hand at convincing Ina to come to breakfast.
"I'm not hungry."
"Come on you barely ate yesterday I know that's not true."
"I don't want to go." Ina crosses her arms. She is almost positive she'll end up losing this fight. But she has to try.
"Ina." Armin tries again. "Do you want me to call Levi?"
The little girl pouts. One look from her Papa would probably have her on her feet.
"Why don't you want to go, Ina?" Armin asks.
"I… I don't want to see that soldier again. I'm scared." She admits.
"Do you know him?" Sasha sounds a lot more serious than usual. "Have you seen him before? Tell us and we'll take him out." She doesn't care who it is. It could be the king himself and she'd still keep her promise to end that bastard.
"What?" Ina is confused. "Take him where?"
"Never mind what she said." Armin glances at Sasha. "Do you know him, Ina? That soldier?"
"No." She shakes her head.
"I have an idea. Why don't I bring you something and me and you can have breakfast in here?" Sasha suggests.
"Can we?" Ina pouts.
"Sure." Armin smiles and places a comforting hand on her cheek. "I'm still going to talk to Levi. He'll want to know how you're doing."
"I'll be right back, Peanut."
Ina and Sasha enjoy breakfast in the girls barracks. Afterward, Ina is escorted to Levi's office.
"Did you sleep well?" Levi sits Ina on his desk and takes his own seat.
"They all stayed with me." Ina crosses her arms.
"Good." Levi expected no less. They're almost as protective as he is. Had they not stayed with her, there would have been severe consequences.
"Papa… what's going to happen now?"
"We're just going to ask you some questions."
"What… Who is?"
"The MP commander needs your help in identifying the soldiers that hurt you."
Ina shakes her head. She can't. "No. No."
"I'll be with you the whole time, Ina. You won't have to talk at all, just point them out."
"How? Are they- did they come here?!" Ina jumps to the floor and ducks between Levi's legs to hide under the desk. "No! No! No!" She holds herself and starts to rock back and forth.
"I can't. I can't do that."
Levi pushes his chair back before getting on the floor in front of where his little girl cowers in fear. He doesn't know how, but seeing ina like this is painful to him. It makes no sense in the slightest. He feels her pain like it was his own. He wants to make it better, but has no idea how.
"Ina, if there was any other way, I swear we wouldn't be asking this of you." Levi's voice is quiet, and more gentle than she's ever heard him before.
"No one will be coming here. We had someone compile sketches of the soldiers. All you have to do is look through a book and point out the ones that you remember."
"Papa, I can't." Ina looks away from him. "I can't."
Levi sighs. He doesn't want to put her through this. He wishes there were some way to keep her out of the middle of this shitfest. He understands why she can't. He knows how she will feel when she sees the faces of her abusers again.
When he spotted his rapist across the street, Levi felt his entire body freeze. Every painful moment from that night returned to him in a flash. Instantly he felt dirty, sweaty, cold. His insides burned and he almost felt as if his next exhale would be full of ash and smoke.
Then he saw the young boy. A boy who couldn't be older than 7 or 8. Younger than Levi was. All those terrible feelings disappeared, and were immediately replaced with rage and burning fury. The bastard was at it again. With an even younger child. Levi wouldn't stand for it. He wasted no time in ridding the world of one so called human.
"Come on out." Levi holds his hand out to her.
Ina looks right at him. Her eyes filled with anguish. Levi drops his hand. He crouches down and scooches under his desk next to Ina and takes her in his arms. She grabs the front of his jacket and starts to sob.
"I'm sorry, Papa. I want to help but I… I can't." Ina cries. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize." He feels his soul getting heavier the more Ina cries. The more she suffers.
"I want to be strong for you." She whimpers. "I'm trying but…" She starts to cry harder. "I'm scared. I don't want to be, but I'm so scared!"
Levi shushes Ina and runs a comforting hand through her brown hair. He just lets her cry. Let's her get it all out. Sometimes that's all a person needs.
Ina eventually quiets down. She remains in his arms, finding so much comfort in Papa's fingers running through her hair. She keeps her eyes closed and takes in everything around her. Papa's heartbeat, strong and steady. The clean smell of his uniform and the soap that he uses. She thinks of the beautiful sunset. The amazing oranges and pinks and purples all in the same sky. Beautiful light she didn't even think was real coming from the sun and the clouds. She imagines what a sunset would look like over the ocean. How incredible the colors would look as they bounced between the sky and its reflection in the water.
"You are strong, Ina." She hears Levi whisper. Maybe he thinks she's asleep. She is rather still in her peaceful state.
"You're so strong, it amazes me every day." He continues. "You've been through so much. You've experienced so much pain and suffering. Yet you still trust. You still love. Please, Ina." He leans down and presses his lips to her forehead. "You shouldn't have to try to be so strong at such a young age. Let us carry the burdens for you. Don't suffer alone. It's okay not to be strong all the time. It's okay to be afraid. Everyone feels fear. That's okay. You have people here that care about you, Ina. People that love you. We want you to be happy, not just strong."
"I love you, Papa."
"I love you too, Ina."
Ina takes a deep breath. "I'm ready."
"Ready?"
"I'll do it."
"Ina, you don't have to do this if you don't want to." Levi has no problem telling either or both commanders where they can shove that book of sketches.
"No. I don't want to." She shakes her head. "But I do have to, Papa. If I do this, then they won't be able to hurt anyone else. I'm doing it for the others like me. Not everybody is lucky. They might not have a Papa who loves them or brothers and sisters." Ina always knew she wasn't the only one. There was nothing special about her. She knew those soldiers took anyone they found and made their lives miserable. If she can stop them from hurting someone else, Ina will feel a little better.
Levi can hear the determination in her voice but can also feel the way she squeezes his hand.
"I'm proud of you, Ina." He hugs her. "So proud."
"But I'm still scared." She looks up at him. She doesn't understand how he can be proud of her when she feels like such a coward.
"Being afraid makes you human. Choosing to act despite your fears makes you brave. I admire your bravery, Ina."
She is his definition of true courage. He can see the blush in her cheeks even in the dimness under the desk.
"Thank you, Papa." She loves making him proud.
This little girl should be an inspiration to the entire Corps. Levi will be the first to vouch for her.
So I started editing this like 7 hours ago and ended up adding a hell of a lot of stuff to this chapter so if anything please appreciate how much time I put into this damn chapter. Like I worked so hard on this I broke a sweat. Next chapter should be up soon. I have no idea when, hopefully Saturday. Until then, I'll see you guys next time. Also, to reply to my guest reviewer: I actually made an addition to this chapter based solely off one of your comments. It looks a little obvious to me but maybe you'll spot it lol. Thanks for being so invested, I really enjoy your feedback. -Mimi
