Here we are with the next chapter. Okay so it says chapter 20 but in reality this is 19.5. I have to tell you guys, I started this from bad boy from scratch a few weeks ago and have been working on it for hours at a time since. Lol I even got a few lines down during my flight when I was on vacation. #GrindDon'tStop! Enjoy my hard work lol. I hope you like it. As for my guest reviewer. Just wanted to say hehehehe. Me and you have the same twisted mind. This chapter is for you!


"Levi." Dok pokes his head into the group cell. "A word."

There is only one reason Levi is accepting for Dok not yet escorting them out. And that would be because he's found the person Levi is looking for. Karpov. After making sure that Ina will be alright with the brats, Levi steps out of the room.

"I'll return to escort you out soon." Dok says to the scouts in the cell.

"Did you find him?" The tremor in Levi's voice is unmistakable. Dok knows better than to comment on it. He knows it isn't coming from fear or sadness. He just starts walking and Levi follows.

"I need to lay down some ground rules first." Dok states as he leads Levi back towards where he was held when he was first captured.

"Fuck that."

"Condition doesn't matter to me, but Levi, you need to keep him alive."

"Alive? He was on borrowed time the minute he touched her." Levi growls.

"Levi-"

"Cut the shit, Dok! Why would you even consider letting me near him then? You know I want blood."

"Because you left the former lieutenant alive."

"That's because your former lieutenant never raped my daughter."

"He did what?!"

"Are you going to continue to insult Ina and pretend like you didn't know? He bragged about what he would do to her all fucking day. He laughed in my face as he discussed all the sick fucking ways he would torture my baby."

"I thought he was just… I didn't know."

"I don't care what you did or didn't know. That sonofabitch is as good as dead."

"This does change things. But Levi-"

He's about had it with this guy. Levi rushes the commander and shoves him against the brick wall. Even with the height difference and with Levi being completely malnourished, the scout captain still has the advantage. Adrenaline is pumping through his veins, mad blinding white fury is the only thing keeping him upright.

"Hear me out." Dok says calmly. God he's almost as infuriating as Erwin.

"There's nothing to hear out." Levi huffs. Upset that he's expending energy on this rather than saving it for his intended victim.

"He raped my daughter. He violated a child. There-" goddammit Levi don't you dare break down right now. He swallows the lump in his throat. "There is nothing worse on this earth than a man like him. I'll be doing the world a service."

"You're absolutely right. Which is why I was going to arrange to have him sent to Rose Military Prison."

Levi releases Dok and catches his breath. He's just… so tired right now. He wants nothing more than a hot shower, a meal, and Ina by his side. But he has business to attend to before he can have any peace of mind.

"You know which prison I am referring to." Dok straightens out his uniform.

"Your worst could not compare to what he has coming. I assure you, Levi. He's not getting away with this. There won't even be a trial since the evidence against him is considerable. No one ever leaves this place, except in a wooden coffin."

Levi thinks it over. He is quite aware of Rose's reputation. 85% of the inmates go mad within the first 6 months of their sentence. 100% of them to mad within a year. It is considered the harshest and most severe punishment one could receive. Only reserved for the most violent offenders and those guilty of unforgivable crimes. The inmates are just barely kept alive, but are never allowed to die until they're granted permission.

It is a fitting sentence.

"I won't kill him." Levi agrees somewhat reluctantly. "But you should have medics standing by."

"Fair enough."

Dok continues to walk toward the doom of another one of his soldiers. Just when he thinks he wants to convince Levi to take it easy on the former sergeant, Dok thinks about his 3 children. How he would do anything, kill anyone, were they in Ina's position. Asking Levi not to kill this man is far more mercy than Karpov deserves. But the compensation they receive for said mercy is knowledge that his crime will not go unpunished. They're even harder on kiddie rapists in this prison, or so Dok has heard. The treatment is inhuman and almost unbearable to even think about. Dok is sure it is the only punishment that would fit this unspeakable crime.

They finally stop in front of a cell that's all too familiar to Levi. It's where he was detained not 5 hours ago. There's a blank faced low level MP guarding the door. He salutes when he notices Dok approaching. Before the commander can even think, Levi punches the guard in the stomach and grabs the blade from his belt. It's nothing special, and even a little off balance, but it'll do just fine.

"Might want to go ahead and send for that medic." Levi advises.

"Open this fucking door." His tone has shifted completely. Finally reflecting the anger in his expression. The fury in his eyes. "Now."

After catching his breath, the guard looks at his commanding officer. Dok gives his approval with a solemn nod. He fumbles with his keys as he feels Levi's impatient eyes on him. The poor guard doesn't want another unsuspecting blow to the stomach. That just about knocked the wind out of him. The second the door is unlocked Levi pushes past the guard and into the cell. Making sure to shut the door behind him.

"Private, report to the infirmary and let them know they have incoming. Injuries to be determined upon arrival. Tell them to send one of their medics down to meet me in about an hour with supplies."

"Supplies, sir?"

"Gauze, suture kit, a stretcher and possibly something for cauterization."

"Sir?!" The young soldier's eyes grow wide with concern.

"Don't overstep, Private. You have orders. Get it done."

"Yes-"

A scream sounds out from inside the cell.

"Dismissed." Dok says before the alarmed Private can voice any concerns.


Karpov is inside, chained up against the wall similar to how Levi was detained. Both wrists held above his head. Any other time, Levi would have requested the shackles be removed. He usually prefers somewhat of an equal playing ground whenever he fights. This is the exception. He doesn't care if this bastard can't fight back. He doesn't want a fight. He just wants Karpov to suffer. His being restrained only makes things easier for Levi. Now Karpov is powerless. Just like Ina was.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't-"

Levi wastes no time. He's not here to debate or ask questions. He's here to make Karpov bleed. To make him beg. Levi all but sprints toward the man- the twisted monster- and delivers a satisfying first blow to Karpov's jaw.

When the MP somewhat recovers, he spits in Levi's face. His saliva mixed with his own blood and even a tooth Levi managed to dislodge.

"Worth it. She was a fine piece of ass." The bastard smiles at Levi. He smiles.

Levi raises his leg and kicks karpov in the knee, effectively knocking it out of the socket. The chained soldier howls in pain but grits his teeth. He thinks he'll be able to wait this out. Hang on for as long as he can.

He has no idea the things Levi has in store.

Levi kicks Karpov's other knee, and can even hear the pop as the joint dislodges. Karpov must have had injured this knee in the past. His reaction to the dislocation is stronger. It hurts him more. He's unable to keep the tears from his eyes this time.

"Still worth it?"

Levi's question is completely rhetorical. He doesn't expect an answer. Doesn't want one. Anything Karpov says might make Levi want to kill him. And doing so would mean Karpov would miss out on his true karma awaiting him at Rose.

"Absolutely. I never grow tired of it. She was the oldest I'd had in a long time. That maturity is like nothing else in this world. She-"

Levi lashes out and punches Karpov in the center of his face. Again. And again. Levi hits Karpov until he gets tired. Effectively breaking the sergeant's nose. No more. Levi simply can't stomach anything else this... this fucking animal has to say.

He's raped other girls.

He's proud of this.

Levi has met some truly despicable humans. Some of the worst types people in the world have crossed his path. Never in his thirty-something years has he ever come across such a deplorable, sickening monster. If Ina was the oldest…. The others couldn't have been more than toddlers. Levi can't even think about it. Can't fathom the world of pain those poor babies have suffered.

Levi was raped as a child. He knows how it feels to have someone force themself on you. To be powerless. He knows what it's like to be ripped apart from the inside. To have someone take something from you that you didn't even know how to offer. To not even know what was being done to you as you cried and begged for the pain to stop. For the burning to go away.

God he wishes he could kill this man. It is only the knowledge that Karpov will get what's coming to him, plus a million times more once he is detained, that stays Levi's hand. Keeps him from running his knife across Karpov's throat.

Levi is no longer doing this just for Ina. This is for all of them. Every single child that has ever suffered the unimaginable. The unforgettable.

For that little boy he rescued.

For Isabel.

For himself.

Levi closes his eyes for a moment. He hopes and prays to forces he's not even sure if he believes in, that as he stands before this creature and does his worst, his blade will be guided by the hands of all of the damaged children. Every last survivor.

This is for us.

He opens his eyes once again and focuses all of his attention and energy on his prey. When Karpov tries to speak again, Levi doesn't hear him. No longer plans on letting anything else this man has to say get to him. He's the kind of bastard that gets a rise out of shock value. He'll say anything he thinks will make Levi cringe. Even at the cost of his well-being.

Levi examines the blade he grabbed a little closer. It's a decent size. Too much handle and not enough blade though. Also it seems that the edge is a bit dulled. That won't stop Levi at all. In fact, he welcomes the poor quality. A dull blade scraping against bare skin is an unbearable feeling. It may lead to more of a mess. It may require Levi to take more time. But it will be worth it. Oh to hear those screams. To bathe in the blood. Levi finds himself eager.

He rips open Karpov's shirt and uses the knife to cut the undershirt and reveal the MPs bare chest. No hair. Perfect. Levi's message will be even more clear.

"Gonna need you to keep still. I've never done this before." Levi all but grins at Karpov, who is slow to realize what Levi means.

By the time he figures it out. Levi is already at work. Carving letters onto Karpov's chest with the dulled blade. The creature wails and tries his damndest to squirm and struggle. It just makes Levi dig the blade into his chest harder, with even more bruising force. Like most soldiers, Karpov has somewhat of an impressive build. More musculature. Levi is glad this guy isn't thin. He'd have to be more careful about where he stuck his blade if that were the case. It'd be too easy to perforate an organ were he an average joe of regular build. But these defined pectorals and abdominals give Levi the freedom he needs to go as deep as he wants without risking fatal injury.

Levi pauses halfway through. He's always prided himself in having better than average handwriting. There is no way his message won't come across crystal clear.

He continues, much to the dismay of Karpov, who thought it was over. Levi can't even hear the man screaming anymore. Instead he hears crying. His own childish cries from that awful night, over two decades ago. Ina crying as she relives one of many horrible memories. Isabel trying to remain strong, doing her best to hide the tears from her eyes out of fear that she'd be upsetting her Aniki.

That little boy. What was his name?

William.

Levi held that boy as he cried for almost an entire day. Convincing him he was safe was the easy part. Levi killed his rapist right in front of him. Cut off the part of his body that he used to hurt William with night after night. It was everything that came after. The sheer relief he felt was unlike anything else. The idea of the pain finally being over for good was unthinkable. William was younger than Ina at the time. Understood less than she did while still being forced to endure more. He felt like all he could do was cry. Every time he moved or looked over his shoulder, he saw that man. It wasn't until a teenage Levi took him home, gave him a proper meal, a set of clothes and a weapon, that William accepted he was safe. No one else was going to hurt him.

It's these children that he thinks about as he wipes away some of Karpov's blood and continues carving into the MPs skin.

Levi steps back to admire his work once he is finished. Despite his handwriting being pretty damn decent, Levi can tell it's still a little sloppy. But he's not too worried. Once the blood is wiped away it'll be easier to see. It'll be even more clear when it heals. There's no way the scars will fade. This will be with Karpov forever. Levi tears off a piece of Karpov's undershirt and uses it to blot not so gently at the lettering on the MP's chest. He wants to see his masterpiece.

I Am A Proud Pedophile.

It's perfect.

Karpov seems to have passed out. His head dropping between his shoulders. Levi doesn't even care at this point. He knows Karpov will regain consciousness soon and when he does, Levi will continue. This is far from over.


Dok sends in the two medics with all of their supplies as soon as Levi exits. He was prepared for the worst. After seeing Levi come out with blood on his hands and a good deal of his clothes, Dok realizes he was right to have everything on standby. When the two medics close the door, Levi all but collapses. Dok catches him, not too concerned about the state of his uniform. Like Ina before him, Dok merely slows Levi's descent to the ground. Wow, this man is heavier than he thought.

Dok is completely unprepared and even a little shocked when he hears Levi sobbing for all he is worth, blubbering like a lost child. He can't be too surprised, though. Levi has been through more in these past two days than most people have in their lifetimes. He's got to be exhausted and starving after all of this. His child is hurting, he is hurting.

Dok knows he only has himself to blame for this mess. As commander, when things go wrong he can't point the finger at anyone else. If he was going to look after Ina, he should have made sure she never left his sight. He should have been the one to pick up and escort her. He knew, deep down, that his men would not comply with orders when it was their own necks on the line. There is a reason the MPs have the best reputation among the people, but the worst among the military. Levi was right, they are pigs. And they've grown far too comfortable with their freedom. Dok has just about had it with all of this bullshit. Some corruption is unavoidable in a large institution such as the military, but Dok can no longer look the other way. Can no longer let certain things slide. His eyes have been opened. He knows what his men have been doing, on company dime no less. Enough is enough.

He's rewriting all the books. Dismantling the rules with all the loopholes and forgiveness. Dok won't be able to save every child that suffered at the hands of his men, but as commander he has more power than he's ever liked to admit. He's going to milk that power for all it's worth. Going to make sure that so long as he is in a position to do something, he does everything he possibly can.

Dok isn't sure when Levi stopped crying. Can't seem to remember when the scout captain stopped shaking in a way he never thought humanly possible. All he knows is that look in Levi's eyes is one that he will never forget, no matter how hard he tries. How could a person tell this vast of a story without a single word? How can Dok tell what Levi has been through? How is he able to decipher the sheer agony in the storm of those grey eyes? Just by looking at him, Dok knows that this means more to Levi than just avenging his brutalized daughter. It means so much more.

"Dok…"

"I know, Levi." The commander runs his hand over Levi's back in a gentle manner. Soothing Levi the way only a parent would know how. "I'm sorry."

This time when he says it, Levi doesn't feel the same spark of outrage. Doesn't have the bitter taste in the back of his throat. He's finally come to accept Dok's apology. He shouldn't have to, and a part of him really doesn't want to. But Levi feels himself physically melting more into Dok's comforting touch. Longing for the affection of a parent that he never got enough of. They sit in the hallway until the moment is interrupted by the opening of the cell door. Dok helps Levi to his feet, straightening out his bloody, sweaty clothes. The first medic is guiding the stretcher out of the doorway, trying to keep it from bumping the edges of the frame. Were it not for the mask covering his nose and mouth, Levi is sure his expression would hold a great deal of confusion and disgust.

Karpov has passed out yet again. His broken nose hangs at a bizarre angle and his jaw is completely slack. He's covered up to his shoulders with a thin sheet, but Dok can still see the patch of blood oozing from Karpov's chest and even more coming from between his legs. So that's where most of the blood on Levi's hands came from. It doesn't take a medical expert to know that the penis is one of the most vascular parts of the body. Dok was right to get the cautery equipment ready. Otherwise the poor bastard would have bled out within minutes. And the last thing we want is for him to die before he can get to prison.

"Will he live?" Dok asks the medics as they prepare to wheel Karpov away.

"Barely, but yeah. He'll live. Commander, is… is it true? Is he…"

Dok is unsure what the medic means. But Levi understands. Even nods to confirm whatever it is they were asking.

"It's true." Levi's voice sounds like it's been shredded. Like he hasn't breathed clean air in years.

"Why the fuck are we saving him?" The other medic asks. "He deserved what he got. Why keep him alive?"

"You fuckers better do everything you can to keep him alive." Levi can barely stand, and even keeps a hand on Dok's arm to remain upright and steady. But that doesn't make his glare any less frightening. Doesn't make the looming threat any less potent.

"The… He's a fucking pedophile. It just feels wrong to go to extraordinary measures to save him."

"If you want him to pay for every kid he ever raped, you keep him alive. There's a place for people like him. Letting him die would mean he got off easy, and that's the last thing I want. My… my daughter…" Levi covers his mouth. He has lost every shred of dignity he possessed in the short time that he's been here. Still, his pride won't allow him to break down in front of these strangers. What's more, Levi refuses to show any weakness in front of Karpov. Unconscious or otherwise.

The two medics seem to understand what it is Levi is saying. Their demeanor changes.

"Sir… we… we're so-"

"Don't apologize." He shakes his head and drops his eyes to the ground. Dok takes over for him, much to Levi's relief.

"Stabilize him and prep him for transport. He's going to be doing the majority of his recovery at Rose Military Prison."

"We're pulling out all stops. He's not dying on our watch, you have our word."

They assure Levi before wheeling Karpov away. It's not until they turn the corner that Levi drops back to his knees. He's just… Exhausted.

"Come on, Levi. Let's get you cleaned up so you can go back to Ina."

Dok hoists Levi to his feet. He put Levi's arm around his shoulders to support him as they walk back up to ground level. They return to Dok's office where Levi is set down on the couch. The scout captain hardly moves a muscle. Staring across the room at nothing. Dok heads to his private bathroom and fills a small basin with hot water, grabbing two towels. He sets the full basin down next to Levi and then moves to his trunk to grab a change of clothes.

Levi still doesn't move. The only movement Dok can see is the shaky rise and fall of the younger man's shoulders, and a steady stream of tears falling from wide grey eyes.

Shock.

Dok spent enough time in the field to know what it looks like. He just never imagined he'd see something like this happen to Humanity's Strongest. He never thought it was possible for someone as bold and untouchable as Levi to look so lost. So… damaged. Dok cannot forget that despite Levi's amazing talent as a soldier, he is human. He is subject to trauma, just like anyone else. He's not invincible. The MP commander sighs and kneels in front of Levi, who makes no effort to keep eye contact. Dok can't help but think of his son when he places gentle hands on the side of Levi's face.

"You did it, Levi. They're gone. It's just you two now. You're going to clean up, and go back to her. Hear me? You're both okay now, Levi. You're alright." Dok whispers.

Levi's eyes finally focus on Dok, but only for a moment. The empty stare returns.

"I'll help you, Levi. Are you alright with that?" Dok asks.

What is this? Why can't he move? Why can't he speak? Levi hasn't felt this helpless in so long. It seems that all he can do right now is breathe, but just barely. He can't control the tears. He can't take the small towel with which Dok offers to wipe the blood off his hands. He can't do anything. When his body starts to tremble and the crying turns to sobbing, Levi panics. He doesn't understand this. Wants it to be over.

"I can't… it won't stop." Levi bawls. "It won't… Why can't I stop?" He sounds like a child. Feels like one as he looks at Dok through bleary eyes.

"I've got you, Levi. It's alright. Just let it pass." Dok shushes Levi and comforts him, using a tone usually reserved for his children.

Dok helps Levi out of his shirt. The confused scout captain only starts to sob harder. How he wishes he would stop. That he could turn off this incessant blubbering. He feels pathetic, but doesn't put up any kind of fight when Dok gently runs the dampened towel over Levi's arms, shoulders and torso. He squeezes it out in the basin and wets it once again to wash the blood off Levi's face.

When Levi starts to hyperventilate Dok knows he is beyond words, for now at least. He urges Levi to lean forward and put his head between his knees. He runs to wet the rag with cold water and returns to place it on Levi's neck.

His son has General Anxiety Disorder. His panic attacks have ranged from mild to downright terrifying. The method Dok is using to help Levi is merely one of a few dozen that he learned to ease his panic attacks whenever they arose, usually out of nowhere. Make things a little easier for him when he feels like his world is out of control.

"Just breathe, Levi. In through your nose and out through your mouth. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Take your time."

One of these days, Levi is going to punch Dok in the throat for talking to him as though he is a goddamn kid. But another time. Right now, Dok is saying everything Levi needs to hear. Helping him in the best way possible.

Dok takes advantage of Levi being hunched over to run the second towel through his hair. How he managed to get blood in his hair, Dok doesn't think he wants to know. But he is thorough, making sure that any streaks of red have been washed out. Levi tries his best to breathe again and finds a somewhat comfortable rhythm. He also finds himself leaning into Dok's touch. Finding a very strange sense of relaxation in the commander's embrace.

After a few minutes longer Dok helps Levi back to an upright position. He takes a canteen and brings it to Levi's lips. "Take it slow, Levi."

Even when Levi follows the instruction, he chokes as the cool water hits the back of his throat. Dok pats him firmly on the back until the coughing fit subsides. Fuck, not a single part of his body wants to be cooperative right now. Levi can't stand being paralyzed like this. Is downright angry with himself for something completely out of his control.

"One more time, Levi."

This time, he is able to swallow. It's still a little difficult. Still feels like his throat has shrunken down to the width of an eyelash, but once it hits his stomach he can feel the water cooling the fire deep within him. Already, Levi feels just a little better. He is able to breathe once Dok takes the canteen away.

Dok dries Levi's hair before pulling a clean t-shirt over his head and down over his torso.

"On your feet, son." Dok says quietly as he helps Levi to stand and grabs the clean pair of pants.

His legs are so wobbly. It takes every bit of willpower and the last of his diminishing strength to stay upright. The last time Levi felt this unstable, he was 10 years old. Stumbling out of that man's house after a night he knew he would never be able to forget.

Levi's legs fail him and he all but curls up into a ball on the floor right in the bathroom doorway. Despite his short stature, Dok never thought of Levi as small before this moment. Never thought he'd see someone so blatantly unapologetic be reduced to a frightened little boy.

Dok can hear Levi whimpering, and his heart aches for the young man. It's impossible to imagine what Levi has been through, and completely absurd to say that he understands even a fraction of the horrors Levi has been forced to endure. Still, he feels for the scout captain right now. All this time, he thought of Levi as someone similar to Erwin. Unfeeling, recklessly violent, willing to go through anyone to achieve his goal. Not above stepping on people to obtain what he needs. Dok has never been more wrong about a person before. Levi is not unfeeling, he merely hides his feelings because if he didn't the pain would destroy him. He cares more about his daughter than anything in this world. Was only in the capital because he knew she was in danger and would have given his life to protect her. He's not the way he is to be cruel. A lifetime of misery has taught Levi how to protect himself.

"Levi?"

Dok gets on his knees near Levi's head. At first, all he hears is a small whimper, but then the captain moves his arms from his face to meet Dok's eyes with the saddest look he's ever seen.

"Just give me a minute. I'll get up. I swear, I will I just- I-"

Dok shushes him and runs a calming hand through his dark hair. Again, Levi leans into Dok's touch. No longer ashamed of how good it feels to be comforted in such a way.

"Ina is with your scouts. They'll look after her. Take your time, Levi. There's no need to rush yourself. Do you want to move to the couch for a little while?"

Levi shakes his head. He doesn't want to move. Doesn't want to uncurl his body and feel the strange soreness that he knows shouldn't be there. He reaches out and grabs Dok's wrist, holding it in a vice like grip. His eyes say more than words ever could.

Don't leave me.

And he doesn't. Dok stays by Levi's side for as long as is needed. Moves his hand so he can hold Levi's. Remind the damaged young man that this is okay. That being hurt doesn't equate weakness. Deep down Levi knows this to be true. Knows that he must accept it as fact. To say that he is weak would be to call anyone who has been traumatized weak. Ina, Isabelle, hell even most of his brats. He'd be spitting in their faces. Minimizing their pain and completely disregarding their perseverance. If Levi wants to give them credit where he knows it's due, he must be able to do the same for himself.

He needs to be able to look in the mirror, face himself, and say that this is okay.

I'm hurting. Mourning. Depressed. I've been afraid, and helpless. I have lost control. Cried so many tears. I've begged for the sweet release of death before. But I'm still here. I have a daughter who means more to me than the world itself. I'm a soldier. I fight for what is right. I protect the people I care about. I defend the defenseless.

I look forward instead of fixating on what happened to me. My past, my trauma, my insecurities, don't make me less of a soldier. Doesn't take away from who I am. To be damaged in this world is to exist. To survive the unimaginable and still have the will to carry on is the very definition of true courage.

I am anything but weak.

They don't return to the group cell until Levi feels ready. Until he washes all traces of blood and tears from his face and is wearing a clean change of clothes.


The ending of this was a little hard for me to write. If this was a kinda tough to get through, that was the idea. It's not very graphic but still pretty intense. I hope nobody thinks I'm just trying to tear Levi apart. He's my absolute favorite characters and I love how strong willed and amazing he is. But he's human. And I know some of the stuff I wrote about his past/childhood was speculation and/or made up by me, but I kinda wanted to show that even someone as strong as Levi needs a minute to breathe every now and then. Sometimes when you get triggered you just need somebody to be there and tell you that it's okay to feel shitty. It's okay to cry and feel pain and even be a little scared. I do kinda like how I wrote Dok in here, so sorry if anyone doesn't care for the tenderness lol. I think it was important in that moment for Levi to feel taken care of. To feel like someone was there for him when he was extremely vulnerable. Next chapter should be coming up soon! Until then, toodle-loo