A/N: Hi everyone! Again, thank you so much for your generous reviews and favoring or following my story. I love hearing all of your feedback on your reviews!

Also a Happy Thanksgiving to all you lovely people here in America! I hope each and every one of you is going to have a feast like I am tomorrow.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review!

Distant Desire
by fiftyfantasies

Chapter Four

"Kill them! Kill them all!"

"We can't let them escape, not one!"

All I could smell was smoke, it felt as though I was breathing in dirt. I could hardly inhale without coughing and choking on my own breath. The fiery orange blaze that surrounded me coated me in heat that made my eyes water and my own breath feel cold on my lips.

There was a roar of gunshots and horrified screams quickly following afterward. I covered my ears and clenched my eyes shut, not bearing to hear my people scream anymore. But even with my hearing, the horrors outside easily slipped through my fingers and filled my ears.

"Go Chizuru! Follow your brother, and don't look back." Tears streamed down my face, as I stared up at the woman, a beautiful woman with long burgundy hair and eyes the color of ambers. For some reason, I felt close to this woman, as though she was a very important person to me.

The horrors ensuing outside of the temple continued to grow louder and louder by the minute, the fire grew stronger and hotter. The woman gave me a sad smile as she wiped away the tears from my face, her hands were soft and soothing.

"You'll be okay little one, your Aniki will protect you." Her words were calm and reassuring, the complete opposite of the situation surrounding us. Her words alone fought off any fear that was left in me. Just looking up into her face and eyes gave me comfort that nothing else could.

"Take care of Kaoru, my little Tsuki." She knelt down on her knees and wrapped her long strong arms around both me and Kaoru. Her embrace was strong and filled with sorrow, tears streaming down her face and falling onto my cheeks.

"Take care of your sister. And protect her with your life. The future of the Yukimura clan is in both of your hands."

Kaoru nodded with two swords clutched tightly to his chest and his eyes were filled with determination and understanding. "I will, Oka-san."

Mother…

She was my mother. My mother smiled in adoration. "That's my brave little Oni."

A piece of the roof that was on fire suddenly dropped and crashed onto the floor a few feet behind us, a scream escaping me.

"Now go! Don't look back and run with all your might!" Kaoru nodded his head before grasping my hand and practically dragging me towards the back hallways of the temple.

Before we turned around a corner I was able to see my mother pull three arrows out of her holster and nocking them in her bow. She gave me one last tear-filled smile before Kaoru and I turned a corner and the wall blocked her from my view. I then could hear the sound of men yelling violently coming closer towards us, but then screams of pain filled my ears.

"Aniki! What about Tou-san!?" My heart leaped in fear as another wave of gunshots echoed in the temple hallways. The hallways were dark and had not yet been lit by candlelight. But I could still see perfectly, every detail was still prominent to me. Even in the pitch darkness, I could still see the details of the walls and the strips of wood that made up the floor.

"Tou-san said he'll be fine, he gave this to me for both me and you. He gave this one to me so I can protect you, Imoto."

We paused briefly right before exiting through the back-shogi doors that lead out into the woods. I looked up into my brother's eyes and was shocked to see no fear in them, but only determination. A determination to protect me and to get us out of this place, our home.

He handed me a sword, a short sword. I then instantly recognized it. "But these are Tou-san's swords! How can he fight those bad men them without them!" Dread and fear filled me to the brim once again, to think of father fighting those men without his katana and kodachi was frightening. Even if father was still a dangerous man without his swords…

"Hurry! Or else we'll be caught and killed!" Those words suddenly enabled my legs to run nearly as fast as Kaoru as we made our way towards a path that leads us into the forest and out of the mountain and back into the valley.

"Get those little bastards! We can't let these vermin escape!" I turned my head back and saw three of those bad men start to follow us and their guns pointed straight at us.

"Aniki!" Kaoru looked back with a frown and nodded at me before he ran faster as those men chased after us. My heart beat as though it would jump out of my chest. I could hardly feel my legs underneath me. The speed at which Kaoru was running was a speed I have never reached until now.

On cue as Kaoru and I ran down a steep slope, my legs no longer being able to keep up with my brother. I stumbled the rest of the way down the slope. My father's kodachi still clasped tightly within my grasp.

My arms shook underneath me as I tried to sit back up a sharp pain in my side kept me from sitting up straight. A small whimper escaped me as I looked around, my brother no longer in my sight.

"Aniki?" I searched for him rapidly with my eyes. But he was no longer seen, the sound of those soldiers chasing us was no longer there, I couldn't even hear the sound of my home being attacked any longer. I couldn't hear anything except for me and my harsh breaths.

"Aniki!"

I inhaled a mouthful of air quickly, sweat covering my brow and my hands clenched tightly at sides. Opening my eyes, a small tear escaped and trickled down the side of my face and into my hair.

I looked out the window to see a small finch chirping quietly in the tree's bare branches, sunshine coating the finch's red feathers.

It was only a dream…

I gulped down my anxiety and breathed out my nose slowly, trying to ease the racing organ in my chest. I was surprised that the thunderous beating of my heart didn't wake up Sen or Kimigiku.

I silently groaned as I stretched my legs and pointed my toes out straight, the muscles in my legs tight and tense, then quickly releasing my legs from their stretch as an oncoming cramp threatened the muscle. I then stretched my back and shoulders by raising my arms above my head and intertwining my finger together, palms facing upwards, reaching up as far as I could while arching my back slightly.

"Much better." I quietly muttered out once my body was no longer tight and stiff. Thankfully my body was no longer sore or in any pain from traveling. One thing I quickly learned about my body from my training with Kimigiku, was that not only visible flesh wounds will heal themselves, but also the muscles inside of us heals quickly. Which means I'm not going to be sore or stiff for too long.

Looking to my right I noticed that both Kimigiku and Sen were both still fast asleep in their futons. I figured it was going to be that way for the next hour or so since I'm naturally an early riser. Also, I knew that Sen loved her sleep compared to both myself and Kimigiku, so I definitely wasn't expecting her to wake up anytime soon.

Sitting up I yawned, then grimaced. Was my breath really that bad? I rubbed the back of my head and my fingers stiffened once feeling the nest that a rat must have built in my hair overnight.

I probably didn't smell pleasing either. I rubbed the sleep from my face before silently getting up and gathering my bag, a trip to the ryokan's bathhouse was in order, then definitely a soak in the hot spring.

Silently sliding the shogi door shut, I was relieved to find no one in the living room to witness my bedhead. The door to Kazama's room was still shut, meaning that they were also probably still asleep as well. An idea then came into my head.

Closing my eyes, I focused on the area of Kazama's room. I tried to focus on my hearing, Kimigiku suggesting that I start practice on honing my Oni-heightened senses. It took a minute but I smiled once three sets of breathing met my ears. It was hard to make out all three, but I definitely heard all three of them and silently gave myself a pat on the back for being able to make out their breath.

There was a moment that I took time to listen to each breath and tried to figure out which one belonged to who. But ultimately quitted since they all sounded familiar, it was hard to differentiate each one.

As silently as I could without making a single sound I left the room and made my way down to the bathhouse, relieved that no one noticed or saw me in my somnolent state. I also sent a quick prayer of thanks to also find the bathhouse completely desolate. I hoped to have the same luck and also find the hot spring outside in a similar state after bathing.

I rummaged through my bag to find the oils and soap that I've lately taken a liking to recently. I found myself to start pampering myself and indulging in using these upscale oil's and soap that Sen has introduced me to.

I left my bag in the basket before making my way to the steaming baths.

I moaned in appreciation once the steam of the room hit my body. Looking around I chose the large round wooden tub next to the doors which lead out to the outdoor hot spring. The feeling of the chilly air outside competing with the steaming bath was exhilarating and should awaken me more from my still sleepy, lazy state.

I sighed in bliss as my body slowly eased into the steaming bathtub. My body slackened to the point of my chin rested in the water, my hair floating around me. Finally, I sat up straight and started the task of washing the rat's nest resting in my hair.

I took a quick whiff of the oils in my hand, the scent reminding me of sweet lemongrass. The soap smelling of pears and gardenias. I took my time in the bath, rubbing the tiredness and stiffness from my body.

As my fingers massaged the oils into my scalp I couldn't help but let my thoughts slip to a certain Western Lord. I couldn't help but think of his actions earlier this morning in the stables.

Why the sudden interest? On the road here to Asahikawa, he was completely silent, not uttering a single word to me. He didn't seem to have any interest at that moment, or I could have just read it all wrong and am just overthinking? Most likely.

But what happened in the stables still confuses me. I can understand not letting me fall onto the filthy floor, but for him to hold me the way he did earlier, the way his hands felt around my waist…

I shook my head before submerging myself under the water. My face heating up not from the steaming hot bath but from the memory of his hands and how they felt.

"Stop thinking of such provocative thinks Chizuru." I chided myself as I reached for the soap.

I really shouldn't be thinking of such things, and especially of him.

I should dislike being around him and his 'goons' as Sen puts it. On numerous occasions, he has hurt both myself and the Shinsengumi. He has killed many honorable men, and for what? Me to be his wife and to bare a powerful child?

The thought of being nothing but a broodmare angered me and helped squish the thought away of those warm and powerful hands. The hands of a killer.

But then I couldn't help but admire the man a little, only a little bit.

I could understand how he wanted to rid the world of the rasetsu and to put a stop to my father's cruel intentions of reviving the Yukimura clan. I could understand him wanting to protect his people. In a way, I could understand his perverse intentions of wanting to kidnap me and wanting to keep me 'safe' from the Shinsengumi, who were at the time experimenting with the water of life.

That still gave him no excuse to invade the Shinsengumi headquarters and try to kidnap me the way he did in the past.

I sighed out and grimaced.

Maybe he's not as bad as I originally thought him to be. Maybe he was an honorable man in his own right with good intentions.

What he did this morning certainly wasn't honorable… kind of.

Yes, he did catch me from falling onto my face, but to hold me the way he did?

I'm not blind enough to ignore the want that I saw gleaming in his crimson eyes. I wasn't naïve to not know that his hands on my hips weren't only placed there to hold me up straight. I could feel the desire in those strong calloused hands…

My hands rubbed the soap into my shoulders as I thought of hands. Those same hands that can wield a sword like no other and kill without a second thought, they held me with a gentleness that I originally didn't think of him capable to possess.

My hands drifted lower to rub the soap suds onto my chest. All I could think about and see were those crimson eyes, golden hair and that sadistic grin etched on his handsome face. And again his strong hold on me.

A tingle in my stomach and chest ignited when I thought back to how close his body was to mine, and how I could feel the heat rolling off of him. Unconsciously my hand drifted lower to my breast as it rubbed in the soaps suds.

The way his scent filled my head made me want to close my eyes and bask in it. As I thought about it I've never smelled a scent as his that made me feel this way, never has my body felt such an attraction towards a male. A flash of pleasure shot down towards my stomach as I thought of his warmth, scent and those hands.

Never has my body acted this wanton towards Hijikata, and the idea that my body is acting this way towards Kazama angered me. I felt disgusted towards myself for not being able to control my thoughts and my body. I felt as though I was no better than a whore, even though I've never even lied with a man.

"I need to stop thinking about, this." I mumbled to myself as I dunked myself under the water to rinse my body of the pear scented soap and these dirty thoughts. The steaming murky waters of the hot springs were calling out to me.

I decided that after being down here, soaking in the rejuvenating water for over an hour, it was best to return to the room. Exiting the bathhouse my stomach grumbled and I hoped that lunch was being served.

I wondered who would be up at this time, Kimigiku I imagine would be waking up about now, and Sen no doubt would still be fast asleep. Kazama, Amagiri and Shiranui were still a mystery to me.

I figured that during this trek with them, I would come to learn more about them and their habits.
Do they like to sleep in like Sen? Or were they early risers? Are they lazy and unkempt?
I figured that I would find out soon.

Walking into the room I was greeted by no other than the Western Lord that was tormenting my thoughts only an hour ago. He innocently sat at the table sipping a cup of tea, and sadly no lunch served yet.

"Afternoon, Chizuru." The way he said my name in that deep silky voice of his made a chill run down my back.

"A-Afternoon, Kazama-san." I stuttered before making a beeline for my room, my cheeks slightly flushed. How could he speak to me so intimately like nothing ever happened between us in the past?

Entering my room I wasn't surprised to see Sen still snoozing away in her futon, but what did surprise me slightly was to see Kimigiku also still fast asleep in her futon as well. I guess even before we left yesterday morning she didn't get much sleep as she arranged and planned the trip.

Silently I set my bag back in its original corner and grabbed my comb to start the tedious task of brushing out my hair. Part of me loved how long my hair has grown to where it reached my waist, but another part me missed to when my hair wasn't such a tedious task, when I cut it so I could pass as a man years ago.

Thankfully, the oils made my hair more manageable today. In middle of brushing my hair my nose could suddenly pick up the scent of food, but I didn't hear the door open or the hostess announce themselves. My stomach growled on cue as the smell grew stronger.

After a couple of minutes and me being nearly done with combing out every knot in my hair, the sound of the hostess announcing herself along with another hostess signaled the arrival of lunch.

But once I was finished combing my hair, Kimigiku and definitely not Sen have awakened yet, I also didn't hear either Amagiri or Shiranui come out of their room yet, meaning it was only Kazama out there with all that food that was singing out my name.

My stomach growled again in pain, the torment of the smell of lunch becoming too much.

I sucked in a mouthful of air as I prepared myself to go out there and eat lunch with Kazama…alone.

I then had the brilliant idea to bring along one of my father's medical journal. This way I could both read and avoid all necessary talk with Kazama.

Exiting the room my mouth watered at the sight of the table filled with heaps of food, also overjoyed to find my favorite dessert dorayaki.

Kazama eyed me as I sat down at the table, chopsticks in his hand as he ate his salmon. A small part of me suddenly wondered what kind of diet he possessed. Looking at his plate I assumed he was a person that ate healthy and only indulged once in a great while. Which did seem so like him.

I grabbed one of the bowls of miso soup and instantly buried my face inside the medical journal. I read from the journal and occasionally looked up to add more food to my plate, keeping my eyes away from Kazama as long as possible.

But I could still feel his eyes on me, studying me, probably watching me suffer in amusement under his watchful eyes.

"Why are you studying the western techniques of healing?"

His question through me completely off guard. I was silent for a couple of second before my mind was able to muddle up an answer.

"I think it should come in useful one day, I already had basic medical knowledge when I used to live in in Edo with my fath-…Koudou-san." I tried to stop myself from calling him my father in front of others since he was actually truly my uncle. It was hard since I still viewed him as my father, but after what happened with the rasetsu, it was hard to see him as the man I thought he was.

"Hm. So Koudou never taught you your clan's healing technique?" Kazama asked, finished with his lunch and sipping from his tea.

Again, his question through me off.

What clan technique? The Yukimura clan had a healing technique? What kind of technique could this be that didn't follow western medicine? How different was my clan's medical techniques from the Wester, Chinese and European? I suddenly had many question going through my head.

Kazama was able to see my confusion. "It wouldn't be a surprise you didn't know since Koudou did hide your true heritage from you. A shame really."

Kazama stood up from the table and walked over to the window, opening it and producing a pipe from his white yukata sleeve.

I remained quiet, hoping he would continue his explanation. He sat on the seal of the window and lifted his leg to rest his foot on the windows seal, his leg exposing itself.

The sight of his thigh made me look away with a furious blush coating my cheeks. His blithe behavior made want to groan.

After lighting his pipe, he casually sat there and smoked, carefree and watching the birds in a tree below our room.

I came close to standing up and leaving for my room.

"The Yukimura clan is renowned for their healing abilities. They use their Oni reiki to heal the person of their illness or wound, I've witnessed this only once, but that was long ago when I was child. Now that the Yukimura clan is close to extinction, it's a shame to see such a glorious technique to die."

That same determination that pushed to start training with Kimigiku and study under Sen came back to me suddenly. The urge to learn more about this technique flared and I was determined to do so.

"Do you know how I could learn more about this technique?" I asked boldly, no longer self-conscious in his presence.

Kazama looked towards me with surprise on his face, before a chuckle escaped him and walked over towards the table to sit at once again.

"Why the sudden urge to learn a technique? What could you possibly do with this knowledge all to yourself?" Kazama crossed his arms and watched me with scrutiny in his eyes.

"I want to someday pass it onto my children and have it continued to be learned throughout the Yukimura clan once again." I then regretted my words. I didn't owe him an explanation as to why I wanted to learn this technique that belongs to my clan.

"Oh?" The look in his eye certainly made me want to take my words back. The same man that wanted to kidnap me and procreate with me to create a stronger child, just now heard of my desire to revive my clan.

"You wish to revive the Yukimura clan? And let me guess, you wish to do this with that human of yours that belongs to the Wolves of Mibu?"

His words both hurt and angered me. Hijikata is more of a man than Kazama ever could be.

The elders back at Sen's village also expressed their dislike towards my decision, a rare pureblooded Oni like me to go to a mortal man. These people have no idea of what kind of man he was, or any of the Shinsengumi for that matter.

The Shinsengumi men will always have my heart and favor, each one of those men I found more honor in them than I have ever witnessed in my entire life.

"You know nothing of him." I bit out bitterly. I refused to look at him, his careless expression would only anger me more.

"The Shinsengumi are the most honorable men that I have met, and no one can compare to them." My statement was bold, but I meant every word.

"The most honorable men you have ever met you say?" Kazama looked as though he was amused, as if he was just proposed a challenge. He stood up from the table and headed back towards his room.

"I assure you Chizuru," he stopped in front of his bedroom door before opening it. "That you have yet know me." With that said he closed the door and left me alone.

Kazama? Honorable? I wanted to scoff at the idea, but then I remembered my conflict that I had with myself about him in the bathhouse. I remembered the points that I made about him that could be deemed honorable.

I huffed in annoyance, but mostly annoyed at myself. I should have just kept my mouth shut and continued to read my medical journal, because Kazama's statement, in all honesty intimidated me.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to get to know Kazama, I was comfortable with viewing him as a sadistic man with selfish urges. But something told me that this wasn't true at all.

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think about this chapter!