A/N: Loved all your appreciation on my last chapter, here's another one lovelies.
. .
. .
Distant Desire
by fiftyfantasies
Chapter Six
*Chirp*
*Chirp*
Silently in my head, I cursed as the sound of a quartet of birds woke me up, the little finches deciding it best to sing their melody right above my futon. Peeking out from under my wool blanket a shiver ran through my body when the early morning air hit my face. Instantly I wanted to just burrow myself underneath the blanket and go back to sleep.
I did.
But those cheery little balls of feathers up above me decided to continue on with their song, if anything, more little birds decided to join in on the song, which in turn made them all louder and more annoying.
Peeking out again from underneath my blanket I decided that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. Looking past the glowing coals from our fire, I sluggishly observed all of my traveling companions.
My eyes landed on the first person laying directly across from me, Kazama, who was still asleep in his futon along with his companions- well they're my companions now too I guess. Kazama laid there the same as last night, his face still facing the sky but, more relaxed, and his eyes closed.
I smiled, glad to know he was able to get some sleep since he seemed to be deep in thought last night and having a hard time falling asleep. I wondered if it had anything to do with his lands down in the West. I remember Amagiri-san hinting something similar along those lines to Kazama-san earlier during our lunch break. I remember him advising Kazama to visit his lands since he was the Demon Lord of the West.
The reminder that the man lying across from me was lord over a whole region of Japan was almost daunting.
Well, Kazama-san was an intimidating man to begin with, but with the weight of his title added on made him seem more ominous and thunderous to me.
A small frown dipped my lips.
Was it also because of what I said to him last night?
Well if it was, I hope he actually took my words seriously and didn't simply shrug it off. Because I meant every single word I spoke to him last night. I was tired of being taken for granted by that man.
I looked over to Shiranui-san, who was also still asleep in his futon, his blanket only covering up to his stomach. He was lying on his right side facing towards me and an arm tucked underneath his head as his pillow. Even in his sleep he looked so idly egotistical. How he was able to do that even in his sleep baffled me.
Amagiri-san layed facing away from me, but by the evenness of his broad shoulders rising I assumed he was also still asleep. Without even having to look at Sen, I knew she was still asleep, and was going to stay that way for another couple of hours or so.
Kimigiku though wasn't anywhere near her futon, which was already rolled up and her blanket folded on top of it.
Sitting up I propped myself up against my left arm, a small yawn escaping me before I rubbed away the remaining sleep from my eyes.
Looking over at the wilting fire, I finally crawled out of my futon to add a couple of more logs onto it. Squatting down by the fire I kept my layered chiffon skirt close to me, so it wouldn't catch fire. I sat there for a little while longer to soak in the alluring heat that the growing fire offered.
As I lazily sat here soaking in the fire's heat, I had to admire the meadow to my right and how the morning fog casually blanketed the long dewy blades of grass. The sun had yet to rise and I assumed dawn was another half an hour away, leaving the air blue and chilly.
"Good to see you're awake." My heart jumped, and I whipped my head around to find the owner of the voice.
Relaxing once I recognized the voice, I sighed, "You gave me a fright, Kimigiku…"
Kimigiku sighed in return and planted her hand on her hip. "I need to work with you on keeping your senses open... At this rate, anyone could come up and catch you off guard."
Blushing at the painful truth of her words I looked back into the growing flames of the fire and bit my lip in agitation. The same stress and anxiety from yesterday returned. Kimigiku was right, I needed to continue to train, even if we're on the road or not.
I silently grunted before standing up, trying to become motivated.
"Can we go train for a little while? By the lake perhaps? Then afterwards I can see if I can catch us some breakfast?"
Kimigiku nodded and gave me a gentle smile. With her approval, I walked over to where my saddle and saddlebag was placed to grab my kodachi, bow and quiver of arrows.
"You're not going to need your kodachi this morning, just you, and your bow to get some breakfast this morning."
I almost felt dread fill my stomach as she gave me that small instruction. No use of any sort of weapons this morning meant that I would instead be using myself as the weapon. I never really felt confident when it came to hand-to-hand sparring.
Nodding I glumly left my kodachi standing against my saddle and grabbed my bow and quiver. After tying my quiver to my right side, I came back to Kimigiku's side and was surprised when I looked up to her fire-illuminated face to see that she already seemed to have washed herself before I woke up.
"Let's go."
Before I could ask where and when she left to wash, she turned away and started to jog towards the lake across through the dewy meadow. Quickly following in suit behind her I gripped the bow in my left hand tightly and trotted off along beside her.
Right when I felt that I was keeping a steady pace beside her, the kunoichi then suddenly broke out into a sprint.
Quickly sucking in a shaky breath, I furrowed my brow as I urged my legs to go as fast as they could humanly run. Kimigiku simply looked at me, not showing an ounce of exertion as we both sprinted through the meadow and quickly approaching the edge of the forest.
Kimigiku looked over her shoulder, "Come on Chizuru, tap into your chi and try to keep up." With her words of instruction, I tried to do exactly as she said.
For a few seconds I was able to keep up with her, but the moment I came back to her side she easily left me behind and ran out ahead of me.
I could feel my cheeks start to burn. Kimigiku was hardly giving it her everything as this was probably the slowest she went whenever she channeled her Oni energy. She didn't go too far as she patiently slowed her pace and waited for me to catch up.
Closing my eyes and gritting my teeth, I tried to channel that invisible energy to my legs. Clearing the mind of my thoughts and frustration, I tried to grasp that invisible force and apply it myself and let it flow through me to my legs. But when I opened my eyes I frowned, my pace didn't seem to change and Kimigiku was still far up ahead of me.
"Damn it." I huffed out a curse as we came closer to the lake, already having sprinted most of the way here.
More than anything I wished I was able to tap into my Oni energy, and then finally be able to run here at a speed that the human eye can't even comprehend.
But to my aggravation, I once again failed to be able to tap into the imperceptible energy force. Coming to a halt along the sandy shore of the lake I raised my arms above my head to fill my greedy lungs with more air.
The other demoness stood in front of the lake beside me, I frowned once noticing how her respirations weren't even affected by the sprint.
As I stood there I looked out at the lake and was compelled by the perfect stillness of the blue water. The trilling of a mockingbird's song echoed through the air and bounced off the waters. The longer I stood there the more I felt the need to suddenly immerse myself in those turquoise depths.
"What do you remember about me telling you about taijutsu?" Kimigiku's voice asked from behind me, disrupting the tranquil moment. Turning around I noticed she already tied her hair into a low ponytail behind her.
I stiffened and felt myself grow nervous, Kimigiku putting her hair up meant that this was about to get serious.
"Taijutsu is the ninja art form of unarmed, hand to hand combat." Placing my bow and quiver against the boulder, I raised my arms to tie my hair up and into a high messy bun.
I haven't cut my hair since leaving Kyoto, which was starting to become quite tedious and I was starting to harbor the desire of cutting it back to its original length of when it reached the middle of my back. Now it flows down past the middle of my back and reaching to my hips, coming close to the length of Kimigiku's own hair.
"Good, now do you remember the forms that I taught you long ago to strengthen your core?"
I nodded, sullenly remembering the numerous forms and positions she taught me a couple of months ago. At the end of every set of forms she assigned to me, my muscles would always be shaking and numb while sweat dripped down my neck and arms.
And for Kimigiku to bring back up the old art form of torture, I assumed that I would be going through those same forms and movements this morning. This eased the tension in my stomach of not having to fight her this morning.
Kimigiku smiled, but I could almost sense a grinning siamese cat underneath her smile.
The female ninja then elegantly lunged into a position low near the ground and raised her arms into a levelness with her shoulders and held the position. I followed suit of Kimigiku, with what I hope as much sophistication as her.
We held that form for a couple of minutes, a slight burn ignited in my thighs before moving in unison to the next position. This was only the first form of many, and I could already feel my arms start to grow tired as well.
Kimigiku slowly spinned in her lunged position, low near the ground with her leg extended straight outwards and her arms moving in fluid motions with her. When she twirled low to the ground, her hands lowered as though she was picking something up, then she raised herself from the ground to the next position.
This time we both stood tall and strong, the leg that was extended outward was now holding us up on the toes of our foot, while the other was raised and our knee held close to our chest.
Looking over to the demoness next to me I could once again see her not having any trouble or struggle with the movement, opposite of me, my entire body felt tight and uneven.
We again moved in sync to the next position, but the movement to the next position had me cringe. My knee that was held close to my chest, now raised even more and extended my foot outwards, the tips of my toes now higher than my head. To balance myself, my arm also raised itself higher and behind me.
"Remember to try and breathe with each moment Chizuru, and to also try to find and immerse yourself in your chi. Let it flow throughout your body and your hands."
I tried to listen to Kimigiku's instructions, but my main focus was from losing my balance and toppling over. But once we settled in the next position, I did exactly as she said, to once again find that elusive energy inside of me.
We both settled into a less strenuous position, with knees slightly bent, one behind the other, our arms were leveled to our chest and palms perpendicular to our forearms facing the lake.
Looking out at the lake I focused on the shoreline. I didn't close my eyes completely but allowed my eyes to droop in concentration.
Blocking out the chirps and wails of the mockingbirds I listened to only my breathing, I listened to each respiration, to the swell and depletion of my chest moving along with my breaths.
Come. On. Just let me feel that energy a little bit at least!
I cried out the plea in my head to whichever God was willing to sympathize with me today. But it felt like there was no use, I still could not feel anything different. All I wanted were those few seconds of personal bliss when my chi actually opened and allowed me to feel like the Oni I truly am.
Sighing out my stress I mesmerized myself with the pulling and pushing of the waves on the patchy sands. Staring out at the lake and the large body of water, I found an odd sense of comfort.
Kimigiku and I again moved into another form, this one more strenuous from the last, but I kept my eyes and focus on the lake. Anything was a good distraction at this point from my problems with my chi.
At the moment I was unaware of how the forms and positions felt less strainful as I breathed with each pull of the waves on the shore.
Breathing in the water would rise and climb the shore, exhaling the water would retreat back into itself. My breath and body moved in sync with the waves, no longer concentrating or thinking of any stress from earlier.
My hands moved out towards the lake, one near my chest and the other stretched out towards the waters. Standing in a slight lunge I again breathed in unison with the water.
Ever since I was a child, I remembered never being afraid of the water, unlike so many other children my age. I found peace and solitude with the water, not being afraid to go out in the deep end of the nearby ocean during the summer with my once was father, Koudou.
The water, almost like the sun, energized me like nothing else could. Once emerged in the element, I felt whole and secure.
"Isn't it a bit too early to be dancing around with your chi?" A deep baritone voice behind me almost made me fall over in my lunged position. Looking over my shoulder, only to find Kazama I frowned in embarrassment.
Damn it!
Once again, someone was able to sneak up on me with me being completely ignorant of their presence. At this rate, a herd of cows may as well trample me over since I'm so oblivious.
"It's never too early to open your chi, Kazama-sama."
Kimigiku greeted politely with a bow of her head. I found that since she came from a serving shinobi clan, it was a requirement to show this respect to any noble clan. I though forbid Kimigiku from greeting me like this anymore, it felt far too formal and made me flustered to be treated with such respect from someone training me.
"I see, trying to teach my young bride how to harness her powers I see." His comment made me frown and glare at him for his ability to brush off my warning from last night so easily. He only continued to smirk, not even apologetic.
Before Kimigiku could respond, "I must be blind since I see no bride here that you speak of."
If I had a mother or father present, I surely would have embarrassed them with my witty tongue.
Instead, Kimigiku bit her lip and turned her head away, trying to hide her amusement.
Kazama-san on the other hand only chuckled at the comment, not at all offended. How he was able to brush off my witty jab only made me sigh. There was absolutely no shame in this man.
He stood there with his arms crossed and each hand enclosed in the other sleeve, no doubt also trying to ward off the cold from this morning.
"I came to inform you that your little princess isn't exactly comfortable in my or my colleague's presence without her two protectors." Kazama came closer and stepped onto the beach, approaching Kimigiku and myself.
"Sen-hime is awake?" Kimigiku and I both looked at each other in shared shock. Sen was never an early riser, so this was news to us. Usually, she doesn't wake up until eight, but since we've been on the road, we've been forcing her to wake up at six, an hour before we got onto the road, which Kimigiku still considers late for traveling.
"Unfortunately, yes." Was Kazama's short yet annoyed reply. Even only traveling with us for a short amount of time, he also soon figured out the Oni Princess's sleeping habits. And from my short time with him, I felt that both he and Kimigiku shared similar views of waking early in the morning to be productive throughout the rest of your day.
Kimigiku turned to me apologetically, "I guess this means our training is cut short this time." I nodded in understanding, about to turn and retrieve my bow from the boulder, but paused and hesitated.
"Can I… Can I stay a little longer to try and get us some breakfast for this morning?" Kimigiku seemed a little apprehensive with my proposal of leaving me here alone.
"I'll keep watch of our little warrior here." Kazama offered with a sly smile on his face, making me slightly uncomfortable or a few seconds. His proposal also made Kimigiku more hesitant than before.
Though the slight ache in my stomach was resistant to the idea of going back to camp and eating rice with dried fruit for breakfast. The memory of last nights roasted fish was the only reason that tempted me to want to stay in Kazama's company longer than necessary.
But even then, I was hesitant and unsure if I dared to be alone with this man. Part of me knew he wouldn't go to such barbaric lengths, but that didn't mean I enjoyed his constant teasing and harassment.
"I'll be fine, besides I'd rather eat fish than dried fruit this morning while we can." Kimigiku still seemed hesitant to leave me alone with the person that her mistress loathes and seemed to be weighing her options in her mind. Her mistress also tends to get a little cranky when not fed properly.
"Fine, but if you're not back in an hour, I'm coming back to check on you." As she walked past Kazama I could feel her warning radiating off of her, the stare she gave him could have froze hell over twice.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to kidnap your little warrior princess here." Rolling his eyes in lazy annoyance, slowly he started walking closer to the shore and closer to me. As he got closer to me I noticed a small curve to his lip start to form, and I could already feel the tips of my ears grow warm in annoyance.
"Don't give me that glare, it's very unbecoming of you." His lazy drawl came out when passing me and walked to where the water met the sand. He stood there so still, serene and tall as he stared out across the lake and towards the mountains where the sun was rising. In some ways he reminded me of a strong oak tree, hiding the glare of the sun. The only reminder that he wasn't was the slight rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed.
"Are you going to just stand there? Or are you planning on getting us any breakfast this morning?"
Shaking my head, I bent down to remove my sandals and stockings, the coolness of the sand making my toes curl. Looking over the curve shoulder I breathed in a breath of encouragement before finally grabbing my bow and quiver of arrows, I slowly walked to meet the Western Lord by the shoreline.
Standing to his right side and slightly behind him I hesitated for a few quick seconds, but finally, I let my hair loose, letting it fall and hang loosely near my hips. Leaning down I used the string from my hair to tie the loose chiffon material to one side, revealing my bare left leg.
Purposely I kept my eyes low and away from the demon next to me. I could feel his gaze on me even before I stepped foot into the water. The first step into the icy blue water froze the air in my lungs, a string of tingles and shock traveling up my legs and spine.
Pushing through the shock I waded deeper into the water past my knees, the cold sensation behind my knees freezing me in my spot.
"It's a little cold to go swimming this morning isn't it? I don't want to have to save you from the fish this morning." His comment flew over my head because the coldness of the water was so intense.
After a few calming breaths I felt my toes start to go a little numb, not feeling the original intensity of the coldness.
"I'm fine," I bit out as I started to survey the water for any fish.
Out in the distance, deeper into the lake you could see the fish jumping and leaping out of the water, taunting me.
Squinting I again searched the water, but as I did this, the frustration of my poor oni eyesight crept back into me. And again, pushing that elusive energy towards my eyes, I restarted that frustrating dance between me and my energy.
For ten whole minutes of fighting with that energy, I could feel a scream of frustration wanting to erupt from me, tears of frustration beading at the corner of my eyes.
"Come. On. Feel your energy flow through you and push it into your fucking eyes."
I all but screamed this at myself in my head. But with each passing second, I could feel the weight of my frustration start to build a pressure. A pressure in my chest and head.
"Shit." I muttered under my breath, after yet another failed attempt, everything around me grew still and instantly that frustration turned into anger. An anger you can feel bubble in your chest to your throat.
"You're going to drain yourself completely if you keep shooting your energy up and down like that." Kazama's voice broke out through the air, reminding me that he was still here, in that same position, arms crossed and standing tall by the shoreline.
"We'll most likely eat rice and dried fruit this morning."
His words from before truly weren't the most demeaning comment he has given me, actually they were constructively cautious, but his other comment made me feel more of a failure. That it was now my fault that we were going to have a pitiful breakfast. This didn't guilt me but instead fueled that anger and frustration ten-fold.
I felt as though something in me snapped.
It wasn't him or the tone of his voice, but the two years of built-up frustration of not being able to use my Oni energy properly, just broke through me.
Turning around and stalking out of the lake, water sloshing around my shins I looked up with unshed tears in my eyes, "You can catch your own damn breakfast." I hissed out while glaring daggers at the man. He stood there with furrowed brows and confusion in eyes.
"Wait, what's wrong?" His tone more concerned and less dull, but that didn't faze me, stiffly brushing past him to grab my shoes, not wanting to be anywhere near the lake, freezing water and him.
Kazama continued to call for me in unease, but I still ignored him, walking towards the boulder my shoes rested on, but before I was able to get to the edge of the beach where the boulder sat, my head felt as if it was no longer there.
My knees grew weak and for a slow second gave out, my heart hammered in my chest as I felt myself slowly start to tip backwards. But before I could even level or try to catch myself, a hard solid chest connected with my shoulder and those large warm hands wrapped around both arms, holding me up straight.
With eyes half lidded I brought a steady hand to my head and waited for my senses to be regained.
After a couple of seconds of standing in his grasp I instantly felt rotten, for childishly walking away from Kazama and ignoring him, after he tried to warn me about draining my energy. Slowly turning my head, still a little sluggish, I felt my temple connecting with his chin.
"As I said, you drained yourself with shooting your energy like that." His deep voice rumbled and was more amplified as he said this near my ear. Heat shooting straight to my face and my belly clenching.
"I'm sorry… I really didn't mean any disrespect." My voice low and hushed. I wasn't sure if it was because I still felt drained and sluggish, or if it was because of his close proximity.
"Hm... Not too long ago we were in a similar position, there are other ways to get this close to me." His voice teased into my ear.
This time I actually chuckled, realizing the truth in his words.
"It's a good thing you were there to catch me…" my words trailed off, not believing what I was just about to say.
But as the seconds ticked by, that lazy easy smile left my lips. Reality revealing itself and reminding me that we only had half an hour to get breakfast.
"I need to focus and try to get us breakfast." Was my frigid reply before leaving his safe and strong embrace.
Leaving that lax calming moment, I chided myself for letting myself get that close to him. But at the same time, I was grateful for him not letting me fall and trying to warn me from draining myself.
Again, at the edge of the water, I arrived at that same repetitive mental block. I didn't want to get back into that frigid lake to drain myself from my energy and faint. But at the same time, I didn't want to disappoint my companions with a pitiful breakfast.
Kazama walked to stand evenly with me at the shoreline.
"I can teach you."
I was stumped and felt as if I was being ripped in a game of tug-of-war. His offer made me both nervous and excited. I was nervous because it was hard for me to overlook the fact that this man has tried to kidnap me on various occasions and constantly harassed me with his lewd comments while threatening to kill my friends.
But when I did overlook the past history between him and myself, I was able to see the potential of me, an upcoming Lady of the East, learning from Kazama, the Lord of the West.
I also reminded myself that even before that, I first needed to learn how to be an Oni. And something inside me, a strong gut feeling told me that I could learn much from him.
Of course, Kimigiku is a wonderful teacher, I already have learned so much from her in only two years. She has already taught me how to use a bow, speak like a lady, walk like a geisha and even taught me the art of enticing a man, which I don't see myself practicing.
But at the same time, Kimigiku has other matters to attend to other than me. She is already Sen-Hime's personal kunoichi, trying to get the princess to the south in one piece and unharmed. Kimigiku has also already tried to teach me her ways of connecting with my spiritual Oni energy, which for the past few months, have not been working.
After taking a few seconds of silence on my behalf, I feel that I finally came to a decision. I had reverted back to my earlier argument I had with myself in the tubs at the ryokan.
I actually felt at peace with my decision, not foreseeing any loss in the situation.
"Okay."
A/N: It's been a hot minute since I've updated! But I hope you were able to enjoy the chapter.
Please leave a review! I love to hear your feedback!