Part 1, Chapter 4/5: Lost Izalith
"If she recognized you... was grateful to you... why would she attack?" - Oscar of Astora
...in which Casivir has to put down a friend (Sif) and Solaire's depression of not being the Chosen Undead is presented.
A/N: Longest chapter ahead!
My only pet peeve about Dark Souls is that you can't meet Kaathe AND save Sif in the DLC without killing her first on one playthrough. This is a problem because you need to place the Lordvessel to access the DLC. You can only meet Kaathe after defeating the Four Kings, and guess what; you need the ring Sif has to be able to even access the Four Kings. Anyway, I did both in this fic... so the Chosen Undead has both saved Sif and met Kaathe.
PS: I haven't written a sex scene in forever, so... I hope it turned out all right. Also, I made a "Dark Souls and Bloodborne are in the same universe" joke, but that doesn't necessarily mean I support that theory. I'm certainly not against it, though.
A familiar figure was caught on an escalated ledge, scouting the forested perimeter.
"Oscar? I did not think to encounter you here."
Oscar smiled. "Well, how long as it been? Glad to see you safe. But be careful," he replied, letting his hand fall from his forehead. "You must be the same as I. In search of the grave of Ser Artorias."
"I am. What have you discovered?" he asked, lining himself up next to him.
"This forest is the territory of a fierce band of thieves. They assault any and all who seek the graves. That is unless you join their covenant, that is," he said, letting out an exhausted sigh. "Such a shame that their leader must be further inside these woods. I doubt we can reach him or her without having to wound these men on the way."
"The Forest Hunters, yes."
Oscar's brows shot up. "Have you spoken to them?"
"No, but I have heard rumors. I believe their leader is named Avina," he replied, pointing towards a fallen building in the distance. "My guess is that she resides somewhere around those decrepit stones. Cats likes heights."
"Cats?!"
"Here we have encountered two-headed lizards, walking trees, goat men, spider women, living slimy blobs that shoot spikes... I even met a talking mushroom back in Oolacile... and a talking cat surprises you?"
Oscar blinked. "I suppose you have a point."
"Getting there is doubtfully an easy feat, though. I believe I glimpsed a spectral. He or she must carry a ring of fog or miracle of some sort."
"What if we were to join forces?" Oscar asked. "How about that? If we work together, though... we may escape the bandits. Does that appeal to you?"
"A wise decision. We are more likely to succeed together."
"Very well. Let us keep our wits about us. One could always do with another pair of eyes."
With a pitiful limp to her leg - a final blow to Casivir's heart - Sif perished into dust.
Piercing his Zweihander into the desecrated, bloodied ground with spots of fur lying scattered, his body fell and hit the stonework. He made no attempt at mending the impact. He felt exhausted. His body was weary and limbs weak.
Smough and Ornstein might've tested his wits and endurance, but by the Lords, Sif tested his humanity.
Oscar stared at the now empty air.
"I know she attacked us firsthand, but... I cannot help but feel pity for the poor beast. No pleasure was had in taking her down. I wish there was some other way we could reach the Four Kings," he said, voice sorrowful.
Oscar gripped the hilt of his Astora Straight Sword. "Things appear to have settled. I was right to partner with you. Thank you."
Casivir nodded weakly, fist clutched around the ring that would allow them to find the Four Kings.
"The beast... Great Grey Wolf Sif... she appeared hesitant to harm you," Oscar said, sitting down next to him. "Why is that?"
"We have met once before. At the Chasm of the Abyss. I... rescued her. She was but a pup. Sif aided me in taking down the Father of the Ab -" he began, only to halt and correct himself.
"We bonded. That is all that matters," he added.
"I am sorry if this causes you pain, but... I do not understand. If she recognized you... was grateful to you... why would she attack?"
"Sif, the Great Grey Wolf, most loyal companion of Ser Artorias as she guards his grave..." Casivir quoted, voice weary. "Beasts feel - perhaps more strongly than us humans - and she was most faithful to her master. She watched in despair and helplessness as Artorias challenged Manus. Challenged the Abyss itself."
...she felt the pain of losing whom he was, he wanted to add, but decided against it.
"True, but Ser Artorias was successful nonetheless. He conquered the Abyss. I suspect Sif was pleased to see him return."
It was the famous legend that Oscar referred to, although the truth was unknown to everyone except Casivir, seeing that the truth was different. Artorias was corrupted by the Abyss because he sacrificed himself to save Sif instead. Casvir had no wish to disrespect Artorias –- him courageous enough to face the Abyss alone which deserved recognition –- and so he kept the truth to himself.
He knew he had to lie to Oscar.
Casivir swallowed hard. "She -" he added, eyes tightly shutting. "Sif guards the covenant that allows us to traverse the Abyss. She did not want me to take the same risk that Artorias took. She did not want to risk losing me."
Feeling a hand on his plated shoulder, he gripped the hilt of his sword.
Damn this accursed land.
He didn't know how much further he could keep going.
"We don't need to band together anymore," Oscar said, voice mirroring his compassion. "I will have a short rest here. Reflect on... everything. Feel free to go on ahead. I understand if you wish to stay as well - mourn the dead - and you are most welcome to join me."
Casivir took a deep breath, letting a hand fall to his lap. "No. I... cannot stay here. Forgive me."
"I understand. Stay safe, my friend," he replied, as Casivir rose to his feet.
"You as well, Oscar."
Before leaving, a flick of light nearly blinded him. The sunbeams had touched what appeared to have been metal. Crouching down next to the grave, he clasped a simple ring between his fingers and studied the item. A hornet was carved into it.
It looked familiar.
Casivir narrowed his eyes and held it up. "Does this say anything to you?"
"I believe it belonged to one of Gwyn's knights. Lord's Blade Ciaran. She was his assassin."
"I... believe I have met her."
"That is impossible. She perished over 200 years ago."
"Remember when I told you of Sif? That she recognized me?" he asked rhetorically, lowering the ring. "After saving a woman named Dusk of Oolacile, I was thrown back in time thanks to a pendant. While I was there... I saw a woman praying at his grave. I believe she wore this very ring."
The expression before him mellowed. "Well, that... does seem likely. She was a close friend of Artorias. They were both Gwyn's knights."
"It is possible she died here... or, at least left her ring as an offering."
"Could be. You should keep the ring. Perhaps you can ask."
Casivir nodded. "I shall ask her. Thank you for indulging me, Oscar. I value your opinion highly. I hope we meet again."
"As do I. I pray for your success."
Nevertheless, as the time passed, Oscar became more and more distant.
Gazing upon the vast darkness that was now Anor Londo, Casivir was unsure what to think, his mind fogged.
"If I had not seen it with my own eyes, I... dear me. It was all an illusion?"
"The Lords themselves abandoned Anor Londo a long time ago. Merely Gwyndolin remained to keep up status. His powerful moon magic fooled us all to believe that the Lords were still in power of all this."
Solaire stepped up to him. "How did you know?"
"Call it a hunch. Anor Londo seemed so... disconnected... from everything; its rich architecture, the many creatures residing there..." he replied, narrowing his eyes. "Gwynevere herself seemed like nothing but a blur. I made a reckless decision, launched a throwing knife her way, and she simply perished. Dark Sun Gwyndolin cursed me for destroying the illusion. I had to kill him."
"By the Sun, I had no idea you were so... severe," he said, eyes wide. "Yet, your instincts were correct. I cannot blame you for acting upon them. I admire you for seeing what I did not."
Solaire fell into a pause. "However, what does this mean?"
With a sigh, Casivir closed his eyes.
"I have been asking myself this question a long time, my friend. I am unsure. One thing is certain... and that is the Lords are no more powerful than us men these days. That is why they have aided the Undead to link the Fire. To return them to their former glory. The flame is the only thing keeping them in charge. Without it... men would take over."
"What of the serpent Frampt? He is no Lord. I see no reason why he would assist them."
"Well... he was a close confidant of Gwyn himself if he speaks the truth. Perhaps returning Gwyn to power would bestow him a greater title than Kingseeker. In any event, I do not trust him. Neither do I trust Kaathe."
"Kaathe?"
"Forgive me, I spoke too soon. Kaathe is the serpent I encountered in the Abyss. He claimed I was being manipulated by Frampt."
"...and what did he say?"
"That we should allow the Flame to burn out."
Solaire's eyes went wide. "Burn out? Why you must be mad! That would only bring the Dark upon us!"
"Think about it, Solaire," he replied, turning to face him fully. "We men are creatures of the Dark. The Pygmy. Who is to say that we would not thrive where we were once created?"
Solaire took a step back, his expression bewildered. "This is... this is madness! A world without Light? You must have been led astray!"
"Solaire, please, I only ask you to hear me out. I know this is difficult to digest," he replied, watching his companion turn his back to him with clenched fists. "You have not seen what I have seen. I have been to the Chasm of the Abyss itself. I have seen humanity sprites. They are like us - simply without a body - and they do not suffer whatsoever where the Light never reaches."
Solaire didn't respond.
Casivir closed the added distance between them. "Allow me to show you. Please. I pray you understand where I'm coming from."
Above his shoulder, blue eyes landed on Casivir's protruding hand.
"Well, well... look who the cat dragged in," came a raspy voice as they approached the bridge.
Casivir gestured with his hand. "Solaire, this is Marvelous Chester," he said, watching as Solaire gave him a curt nod. "Like me, he was grabbed and cast back in time into Oolacile."
"Manus have been defeated already. May I ask what the two of you are doing back here? Not that it's my business."
An amused chuckle followed.
"I could ask you that myself," Casivir replied.
"Me? Why I've come to see this place as a quaint little home," he replied sarcastically. "Yharnam gives me a headache."
"Yharnam?"
Chester simply turned to Solaire. "Now, your friend here seems the complete opposite of our dear Artorias. You run with a mixed little crowd. Artorias... colorless. Him? Rather colorful, I would say, hmm? There's an aura about him. He hardly fits in here."
"You know the history of Oolacile. I am aware we have our differences... but perhaps you could assist us."
Chester made an offended gasp. "After our little spat in the Township? Now you're simply mocking me!"
"You were the one to invade me."
"Only in good fun, hmm?" he replied, smirking. "Now... help you? Hmm. I need a bit more to go on than that."
Casivir folded his arms across his chest. "How Oolacile fell. You said, 'fooled by a toothy serpent.' Do you know the name?"
"Ah, now that's a cute little story. Frankly, and quite amusingly, I do not know. It's not like I was born here," he replied, the grin on his face heard behind his mask "...or, perhaps I do know, but it's not like I'd tell you."
"I am not surprised," he murmured, grasping Solaire's wrist and dragging him along with him.
Chester's laugh followed them all the way to the entrance of a lift.
Stepping up to the platform, the lift descended in what felt like an eternity, darkness surrounding them as they reached the Chasm of the Abyss. He glimpsed the three dark entities before them with a white, blurry aura, the same white presenting their eyes. Aside from that, there was complete darkness, and so Casivir lit up their path with the skull lantern on his belt. They could now see the ground beneath their feet.
Casivir peeked over his shoulder, making sure Solaire was behind him. This wasn't a place you wanted to become lost in. At this point, he knew the Abyss by heart in terms of navigation, which was something he would never wish upon anyone.
Reaching an alcove, he stepped up to the ledge, Solaire shortly following only to stop in an abrupt halt.
Hundreds of humanity sprites shone like prism stones in the darkness.
"They... do not appear hostile," Solaire said, reaching out.
Casivir captured his wrist before he could touch one. "They are not, but do not get too close. Their aura burns once you are within reach. Be that as it may, but they do not intend to hurt us.
"...they simply seek contact," he added, voice pitying.
A bark caught him off guard.
Casivir's eyes went wide. "Sif?"
He turned only to nearly be knocked off his feet as the wolf launched at him. However, he kept standing, looking down with a fond smile as Sif stood on her hind legs with her paws at his chest. Her tail was wagging vigorously with her tongue sticking out. Solaire gently separated him from the lantern and Casivir affectionately cupped the wolf's furry head.
A hint of longing churned his abdomen.
Poor thing had no idea what awaited them in the future.
"Did you say Sif?"
"I did." He crouched down, Sif rolling onto her back for a belly rub. "I found her behind a magical barrier Artorias set up from his shield to keep her safe from the Abyss' corruption. I did not want to leave her here, but this... this is the past."
Solaire genuflected next to them and Sif immediately perked up. She rolled back onto her feet, and with caution, reached out her snout to sniff him. Her tongue fell out again as she nudged him affectionately in the chest.
"Looks like she's taking a liking to you," Casivir muttered, a fond smile on his lips.
Solaire chuckled and scratched her behind the ear. "It appears so."
Leaving Sif proved more problematic that he'd hoped - the pup meant a lot to him –- but perhaps he could visit again.
"Are you all right, my friend?" Solaire asked, placing himself beside him as he sat by the third Anor Londo bonfire.
Casivir was staring at his Sunlight Talisman, knees to the height of his chest, elbows resting atop of them. The fabric was soft to his gauntlet-discarded hands. His expression was drained as he processed the question.
"I am having doubts about whom to trust. I know not what to do. After everything... I am yet unsure."
"So am I. Quite honestly, I still cannot believe that the magnificence of this place was nothing but an illusion. I feel like a fool."
"I had my doubts of that myself as well."
"Why, yes, but you eventually acted on what you thought was right. I would never have thought of exposing Gwyndolin like you did."
A slow, teasing smile spread on Solaire's lips. "Say... how do you know I'm not an illusion?"
Casivir gave him an unimpressed, but fond, look.
Green eyes fell to his lips.
Reaching out, he trailed Solaire's stubbled jaw with two fingers, revering in the feeling of soft skin against his own. It was the first time they had been in such contact without chainmail or plate in-between. There was a longing there. Casivir brushed a thumb against his cheek before finally capturing it, reining him in, calloused lips colliding softly.
He felt Solaire's skin heat up at the contact, his body rigid, although not showing any forms of resistance. He had missed this. It had been too long without such human interaction.
Casivir tilted his head, foreheads colliding.
"Yet you are still here," he said.
Letting his eyelids flutter open, he saw the familiar red that had returned to his cheeks.
Solaire blinked. "O -oh..."
Casivir took a moment to study his companion. Uncertain. Shy. Bashful. Yet there was nothing claiming him to be uncomfortable in any way. Leaning back in, he stopped, requesting permission. He shortly realized he needn't have been concerned. Solaire closed the distance between them, mouths colliding once more, now with more force. Casivir drew a deep breath through his nose. Solaire's mouth was gentle and practiced as it moved against his, savoring every moment, intent on prolonging it. There was a want behind the increase of pressure. A need.
His hand was in Solaire's hair before he could register what he was doing.
Lips parted slightly before him, allowing entrance, tongue finding solace between them. A soft moan escaped Solaire's mouth. Shivers prickled down the length of Casivir's spine as he felt a hand trace his abdomen, down towards his belt, delicate fingers about to unclasp it.
Blue eyes shamefully falling to the floor followed the quick retraction of his hand.
"Forgive me, I've... no wish to intrude, nor be offensive," Solaire said. "I am... ashamed. I fear control is slipping away from me."
Shortly, he regained his blue-eyed gaze, his companion possibly having heard the slow unbuckling of his pauldron. A softness draped Solaire's features. The gentle acceptance in Casivir's expression appeared enough to soothe him, and if that wasn't enough, the way Casivir clasped his scruffy chin and drew him back to his lips -– after discarding the plate - seemed to be all the convincing he'd needed.
Casivir's hand splayed between Solaire's pecs, pushing him to the floor and mounting him, armor drawing tight as calloused fists clenched around the sapphire cloth of his elite set to deepen the kiss.
Each armor piece was shortly more or less scattered around them, chainmail and cloth alike, lying in a clumsy fashion.
It became apparent to him that Solaire was a gentle lover - just as his personality - the feeling of being cherished not going unnoticed as he knew he wasn't simply a roll in the hay. Heated glances and unspoken words were unraveled in their joining. They had managed to find one of the Anor Londo beds before losing themselves to one another, starting out small, slowly but not too slowly escalating into something more desperate.
Solaire was driving him mad.
Casivir had him pinned down beneath him when the music of Solaire's pleasured gasp reached his ears, whilst working his mouth down his chest, a hint of tongue and teeth amidst it all. A salty, thin layer of sweat enveloped them both. Solaire's firm, hard body was the result of convoluted time spent swinging a blade and battling demons, skin yet soft as silk to reveal the extraordinary but very human man beneath.
Moving back up, Casivir brought his lips to his companion's neck, and...
He felt Solaire's cheeks flush red.
"Ha –hah! Dear me! If you continue like this, I am afraid the longevity of this will considerably decrease!" he exclaimed, anything but oblivious to the bulge pressing firmly against Casivir's thigh.
"You request for me to take this a step further?"
"Why, on my behalf, by all means," he replied, voice suggestive.
Leaning in, Casivir pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth, feeling the shiver emitting from Solaire as he trailed two fingers down the side of his firm waist. Their lips stuck together for a moment as Casivir pulled away. He escalated Solaire's knee to his hip, allowing better access, preparing him before pressing in. Solaire's head was thrown back in pleasure as a small "ah" escaped his parted lips while a hand clawed at his chest. The other grasped Casivir's shoulder as he touched his forehead against Solaire's, brows drawn together in concentration, careful not to hurt either of them.
Each thrust was met with enthusiasm and needy moans, urging him further, his desire to please his companion further increasing with each escaped syllable. He was unable to silence his own hoarse but quiet mutterings. After spending hours upon hours doing nothing but coating their blades in red, they were allowed a moment for themselves, two Undead reminiscing how it was to once be human.
Solaire greedily arched up his hips, delving him deeper, a shared gasp between them ushering into complete bliss. His blood was boiling. Casivir dug his nails into his companion's thigh as he felt Solaire's release upon his abdomen, increasing the pressure of his thrusts to guide him through it, another groan finding its way through parted lips. His own wait was shortly over. He pushed in one last time before his orgasm surfaced with a growl, untying the knot built up within him, utter gratitude filling his every vein as he allowed himself the desperately needed release.
Breathless and sweaty to a fault, he pulled out, managing to convey enough strength to touch Solaire's forehead with his own as they lay there spent. Chests heaved to regain air in their otherwise comfortably silent surroundings. Sleep shortly claimed them both.
He had died so many times, but as he now knew, he was still alive.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, Casivir stepped out of the arena where he fought the Demon Firesage.
The lava was unbearable. He wanted little more but to strip down of his armor, wash away the crisp smells that probably reeked of him and never again set foot there. However, this was where the Bed of Chaos was located, his very last Lord soul before he took on Gwyn himself. He summoned Solaire for the battle against the Centipede Demon later on, but even then, he could see that his companion was acting strangely.
They had been separated for about an hour after that point. Solaire was searching Lost Izalith for his sun and they separated because of it. That was until Casivir spotted a hunched figure by a bonfire.
"...Why? ...Why? ...After all this searching, I still cannot find it..."
His heat-frustrated expression fell away. Nerves crumpled. The sight seemed unreal.
The noise from his armor must've given away his position, but even then, Solaire paid no mind to him.
Casivir genuflected before him but there was no response. Reaching out, he hesitated, but fingertips soon found their place beneath the rim of Solaire's tepid plated helmet. He gently pulled it off over his head and put it aside.
Solaire's chin nearly fell to his chest, his skin pale, eyes closed. There was only the shell of a man left. Slowly reaching for his cheek, he gingerly tilted up Solaire's head, the eyes before him being feasted upon the ground. He looked completely broken. Defeated. Seeing such an enthusiastic man reduced to this brought him a numbing pain. Solaire had been a light in these dark times. An unstoppable juggernaut of enthusiasm carrying him forward in his treacherous and depressing journey. A strength he didn't know he'd needed.
"Solaire, look at me."
He was soon presented by the brilliant but now dulled color of Solaire's sapphire eyes. The fire he'd before seen was extinguished. The dark circles under them had aged him about a decade.
Casivir's heart ached.
"You will find it, my love. Do not lose hope," he reassured, keeping his gaze pinned. "Stay true to your faith."
"There is nothing... I have looked, oh, have I looked... my dear sun."
"Solaire... if you'll allow me, I shall assist you on your journey, just as you have assisted me so far in mine. There is yet hope."
Solaire just stared at him for a moment, the hurt apparent in his eyes, but he spoke no more words. Casivir closed his eyes shut and rose. Opening them again, he extended his hand, in hope he'd come along with him. He refused to leave him like this. There was hesitancy in his sapphire blue eyes as they briefly gazed upon his outstretched limb.
Solaire opened his mouth, only to close it again, brows barely relaxing. He eventually accepted his offer. As they continued, Solaire trailed several feet behind, the silence annihilating. Casivir didn't know what to do.
It didn't take long before they reached a shortcut he'd earlier opened.
He no longer heard footsteps behind him.
A brief sense of alarm reached his senses, but when he turned, Solaire was still there. He had stopped walking. In his hands, he was clasping a dead sunlight maggot, staring dolefully at the light emitting from its stomach closely resembling the light of a bonfire.
Slowly, Casivir approached him.
"Was it all a lie? Have I done this all, for nothing? Oh, my dear sun... What now, what should I do?"
Casivir considered separating him from the creature, but when Solaire finally looked at him, there was a noticeable change in his demeanor as if realization was dawning.
The sunlight maggot shone brightly between them.
"Why, I... of course. How has this not occurred to me sooner?" Solaire asked - what appeared to be - himself. "My sun, my dear, dear sun... I've been looking in all the wrong places... it is not literal, it is... oh."
Concern furrowed Casivir's brows. "Solaire, what are -?"
"Oh, I am not Hollow, far from it! Mad? Well, perhaps you are right," he replied, his warm laugh following his statement. Solaire startled him by shoving the maggot straight into his hands. "Come, my dear! Let us take down the Bed of Chaos at this day so we may end this!"
Staring after him in pure confusion as he walked ahead, Casivir blinked.
He came back to reality, and realizing he was still holding the sunlight maggot, he shortly let it fall to the floor. The spark was back in Solaire's eyes. No, he wasn't Hollow, he wasn't mad; Solaire of Astora was returning to his jolly self.
However, Casivir didn't know why.
A/N: Headcanon: Solaire's uttering of "my Sun, my dear, dear sun," after the following "what now, what should I do?" is actually Solaire calling the Chosen Undead 'his Sun.' He literally asks the Chosen Undead –- his Sun –- what he should do.