December 2016 AN:

Well, hello my readers to the new and improved chapter 4! I say improved but that's up to your discretion now isn't it? For new readers, you guys can go ahead and enjoy the chapter. For the old readers, let's start explaining why I went and rewrote this.

I'm sure you guys remember how aggressive my Hachiman was to Yukinoshita in their first encounter. At the time, I felt it was a good way to display how 8man won't take Yukino's shit so early on. It was an attempt to curb Yukinoshita's attitude towards him, to change how she sees him in the beginning of their relationship. I realize I went too far on Hachiman's anger. He's supposed to be calmer and collected instead of being so triggered. I made him more of a bully instead of someone who should have been confidently indifferent to Yukinoshita's backhanded insults.

I also didn't realize beforehand that this point of the story is when we get to see Yukinoshita's strength, character and personality unfold for the first time. The point of the episode was to deliver the message that she's a strong girl with a sharp tongue and an equally sharp mind when it comes to wordplay. My original chapter just killed whatever shine she showed in canon.

This rewrite is my attempt to smoothen things along and to put things in order. While there won't be any high octane word fighting, I can promise a more digestible interaction. With that, enjoy the chapter.

*The first scene with Hiratsuka is the only thing I kept from the original. Changes start the moment 8man meets Yukino.

Chapter 4: Goodbye Go-Home Club, Hello Service Club

I always wondered if the essence of youth was one that is filled with trepidation or excitement. If fear for the future and the worries of maturity is what plagues the youth of today, then maybe that meant my life was rather unyouthful. I didn't care what other people thought of me, and I rarely think about the worries of my place in society when I reach adulthood.

But did that mean that I was considered irresponsible?

In the context of the situation before me, maybe I was rather lax in my sense of guilt. After all, not doing one's assigned work was the epitome of irresponsibility. The blank assignment being shoved towards me by my irate Sensei was all the proof to back my deduction.

"Hikigaya, what do you think this is?" the wisps of anger hidden in the tone of her voice was quite obvious. (Disregarding the scary face she was showing, of course)

I made a show of scrutinizing the almost empty piece of paper before me. Written on it were my name, today's date and the topic of the assignment; they were all the necessary clues I needed to deduct an answer.

"Hmm… judging from the handwriting, it's obvious that it's-"

"Stop. I'm not playing games here. Why did you hand in a blank paper, Hikigaya?"

Hmm… why did I hand it in blank?

It was a simple assignment over all; wright a short essay on, 'A reflection on your high school years'. With my talent in Japanese Literature, the paper would have been an easy assignment to finish.

So the reason wasn't my incapability, but my interest.

"Sensei, to tell you the truth, I had no interest in the topic whatsoever. Even if I did write it, it would have mostly been a monolog of stupid day to day activities like homework and boredom."

"That is just a stupid excuse, Hikigaya. I know you're a loner, but I'm sure you've at least experienced one memorable activity in your first year in high school."

"Does being ostracized by my peers because of some stupid rumors count?"

"Shut it with your sarcasm. I'm being serious here. You're one of my best students so I know this isn't the least of your capabilities."

I gave her a small grin at her words of encouragement, "Why Hiratsuka-sensei, I didn't know you had so much faith in me."

She gave me an annoyed glare at my sass, "Shut it, you overconfident brat."

"Brat? Well, sure, compared to you, one might say that I-"

Honed instincts screamed at me and my hand moved up on reflex and caught the punch coming my way courtesy of my irate sensei. My eyes widened as the sensation in my arm went numb due to the hit. If that punch had hit my face I'd have to spend a fortune on plastic surgery to fix it. My good looks aren't replaceable, you know?

Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes widened in surprise, "Hooo… looks like all that muscle isn't just for show. I was expecting you to dodge it."

"Oi, that's not the problem here, is it? Did you want to give me a fast ticket to meet my ancestors or something?"

"You're the one at fault here, ya cheeky brat. Didn't your mother tell you that mentioning a woman's age can get you killed?"

I sighed and released her fist, flicking my arm for a moment to get the feeling back.

"Sorry, my brain likes to leave my mouth unattended when it matters. I'll redo-" I stop myself when I noticed her giving me a contemplating look.

"What is it?"

She smiled and crossed her arms, "Come with me for a bit."

A moment later I find myself being led by Hiratsuka-sensei to the front of what looked like a class used as a storage room. She opened the door and I followed her in. The sight that greeted me confirmed my assumption. Piles of chairs and tables were stacked neatly to the back, leaving most of the room clear. I noticed these things offhandedly however, as my eyes were set on the mesmerizing sight before me.

A beautiful girl sat by the open window. Her blue eyes, a shade that looked similar to a clear sky, were focused onto a book in her hands. Her long black hair swayed gently with the afternoon breeze. A few petals of sakura blossoms floated in as well, making the sight all the more picturesque.

What is with this cliché, anime-like scene before me?

The mystery girl looked up from her book when she noticed us, "Hiratsuka-sensei, I'm pretty sure I asked you to knock before coming in."

"You never respond when I knock though."

"That's because you don't wait for a response before barging in."

Well, I didn't find it hard to believe Hiratsuka-sensei had a courtesy problem like that. Sensei has enough crass to put a bull to shame.

"So, who's the hooligan?"

It was a bit of a stab in the heart to be called a hooligan straight to your face, but then again, considering it came from Sobu high's Ice Queen, it wasn't that surprising.

I actually know this mysterious beauty, or more precisely, I know of her reputation.

Yukinoshita Yukino from Class J, the international culture studies department. Class J was regarded as Sobu High's top class, consisting of 90% girls and the highest score averages. Each student was rather well known but Yukinoshita was the most famous among them. Beautiful, smart and hard to approach, she fit the whole icy maiden image perfectly.

"He's here to join your club."

I raised a brow at Hiratsuka-sensei's words, a silent question of 'What the hell are you talking about?'

"You will join this club as penance for handing me a blank essay. I don't care about any questions, concerns, objections, or dissenting opinions you may have."

"Doesn't all that go against my right as a human being?"

"You have a right as a student to finish work given by your teacher and hold responsibility to make up for it if you are unable to do so. This is how you're gonna make it up to me."

Oi, using logic is my thing. Go back to threatening with physical violence.

"Fine…."

Sensei nodded before turning back to Yukinoshita, "Anyway, as I'm sure you can see, his soul's as predatory as his eyes. He's like a solitary wild animal that lashes out at anything social. That's why he stands before you as a pitiful loner. While he's in your club, I'd like for you to mend his twisted misanthrope mentality. This is a personal request from me."

Yukinoshita didn't even contemplate for a second before turning Sensei down, "I refuse. Looking at that guy's vulgar and scheming eyes makes me fear for my life."

I scoffed at her, "Don't delude yourself. Like I'd waste my time looking at those paltry plains you call breasts." My comment earned me a stare so cold it could freeze a volcano while it was erupting.

"Well, you heard the boy so you can relax. Though he may look like a troublemaker, he's too lazy and calculative to even be one. He definitely won't do anything that could put himself in trouble with the law. Don't worry. At best, he's a minion-wait that's too low of a rank. Mid-boss? An antagonist that becomes an ally?" Sensei looked at me as if to scan my power level.

"I'm not a short guy with large ass spikey hair, Bulma. Go find your angry super saiyan somewhere else." [1]

"Sensei, aren't those positions too high for someone like him?" said Yukinoshita.

Oi, oi, I'm at least an optional field boss, not some low tier grunt.

"I can't exactly categorize him as fodder on the field after he caught my punch. He's tougher then he looks."

Wouldn't that statement mean you thought I looked weak?

"Well, I can't really deny a request from a teacher. I will do as you say."

With her request accepted, Hiratsuka-sensei turned to leave, "Good. I'm counting on you, Yukinoshita." The door slid shut with her parting words, leaving me and Yukinoshita alone in the room.

I couldn't help but sigh at the turn of events. If I knew handing in a blank paper would get me into this much trouble I wouldn't have done it in the first place. Lesson learned people, always do your homework.

"We haven't properly introduced ourselves, have we? Well, I wasn't expecting much etiquette when I first saw you so I'll go first. Yukinoshita Yukino, class 2-J."

That off-handed insult caused a twinge of irritation inside me but I brushed it off. Words like those were a dime a dozen of my everyday school life.

"Hikigaya Hachiman, Class 2-F."

"Hikigaya-kun, please take a seat."

I looked at the stacks of chairs and pulled one out for myself. Now seated, I turned to Yukinoshita for further instructions. She didn't look up from her book but eventually, the weight of my stare caught her attention.

"What is it?"

Oi, you don't have to sound so irritated, I'm the one who was put here against my will.

"Aren't you going to explain to me what I'm supposed to do?"

"In the first place, do you even know what club this is?"

"Nope. Sensei just dropped me here with no explanation what-so-ever."

"Sigh… shouldn't have expected anything less from her. Well then, Hikigaya-kun, why don't you take a guess?"

I gave her a skeptical look, "Is it really necessary to beat around the bush for a simple straight up answer?"

"While it isn't necessary to delay my answer, I would prefer if you would humour me for now, Hikigaya-kun."

"Sigh… fine. Is this the literature club?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Just basing it on the fact that you're reading a book."

"That's a really small fact to make an assumption on."

"It's not like I thought about it much. I was just shooting on the first thing that caught my eye."

"While it was a typical guess, it was still the wrong one. The purpose of this club is what we're doing right now."

"So… what? Talking? Is this the social club then?"

"You're getting close. Tell me, Hikigaya-kun, how many years has it been since you last talked to a girl?"

That's strike two. Three if I counted the hooligan comment from the beginning.

"About as long as it's been since you talked to a guy." I thought I heard a choking sound outside the classroom like someone was stifling a laugh. I paid no mind to it. My focus right now was entirely on the Ice Queen's reaction. The stunned look she was giving off was so picturesque that I couldn't help but smirk in victory.

That's right, two can play this game, woman.

Her stunned look didn't last long however as her features quickly turned into a… was that a smile?

"Hoooh? I wasn't expecting sarcasm from you, Hikigaya-kun. Perhaps this is going better than expected."

Ok, there's something about that smile that's scaring the shit out of me, yet it's also… oddly titillating.

"Uh… what do you mean by, 'better than expected.'?"

"Hmm… don't mind it. It will all be clearer to you in a bit. It's about time I explain to you what this club is about."

Yukinoshita suddenly stood up from her chair.

"There are those who, out of the goodness of their hearts, provide for those who are in need. Society calls them volunteers; we extend a helping hand to those in need. That is why this club exists."

She paused as if to add more dramatics to the situation, and I have to say it was working.

"Welcome to the Service Club. I've been requested to assist you, so you're my responsibility now. I will help solve your problem, Hikigaya-kun. Be grateful." She ended her grand speech with what I felt was the haughtiest look I have ever seen. It was as if an actual queen had just decided that you should be proud to be receiving her good graces.

The over confidence, the arrogance, it was almost ridiculous.

Try as I might I couldn't help but let out a few chuckles under my breath.

"I don't see how this is amusing for you, Hikigaya-kun."

"Oh it is. It is very amusing. The whole idea that you, of all people, have the gall to claim that you would help "solve my problem," makes me want to laugh."

"And why is it that you believe that I'm not suited to the task."

"Well, let me put it this way. You can't exactly fix a bent nail with a broken hammer."

Yukinoshita was now glaring at me, "Are you suggesting that there's something wrong with me?"

"Oh, there are plenty of things wrong with you. While I could point out the amount of times you've passively insulted me since we first laid eyes on each other, I won't. Because I'm not that kind of guy. I'll leave it up to you to figure out where you rubbed me wrong. What I will say, is that there's no way someone with as bad or even worse social etiquette than me could help solve my social problems."

By now Yukinoshita's icy glare had become a cold blizzard, as if trying to bury me in deep snow. Quite poetic when you think about it. (1)

"Hikigaya-"

Whatever she was about to say was cut short when the door suddenly slid open. Hiratsuka-sensei stood at the doorway with one foot already in the room.

"I'm coming in, Yukinoshita." You really should wait for a reply before barging in, Sensei.

"Knock!" Yukinoshita scolded.

"Yeah, sorry. Anyway, looks like you're having trouble fixing Hikigaya's problem."

Yukinoshita took a moment to glance at me before pursing her lips, "He's being more trouble than I initially thought. I suppose he is more than just mere fodder."

"I told you so."

I added in my two cents before an alliance between women could take hold, "Just to make things clear, all I did was point out facts. You can't blame me when it was your fault for being rude in the first place."

"He's got you there, Yukinoshita."

"I… alright, I may have been a bit… presumptuous, and I apologize for that, but we aren't here to talk about me. There's still the matter of fixing that problem of yours."

"You keep saying there's a problem but I can't see it as something that's wrong with me. I could speak to you just fine while we were alone so it isn't about my social skills. It's more so because society just likes to reject me. There's nothing I can do about that so it's a moot point."

"That. That right there is precisely your problem. The fact that you don't believe it's a problem to be rejected by society is the whole point. You say there's nothing you can do but there is. All you have to do is change yourself for the better."

At this I narrowed my eyes at her, "Don't give me that crap. Changing myself for society? Like hell I need to change. I don't need people telling me who I should be, damn it."

"You're just running away."

"But isn't changing myself also running away? Why can't you accept who you were and who you are?"

Yukinoshita paused at my words, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

"… That… That doesn't solve any problems, and it won't help anyone either."

I couldn't help but be taken aback by the weight behind her words. Though she didn't raise her voice, there was a force to it that shook me a little.

"Alright, I think you guys have vented your opinions enough."

The both of us turned to Hiratsuka-sensei in mild-surprise, as if just remembering that she was also in the room. Sensei looked at us with a contemplating look before nodding to herself.

"Right, in times where two opinions collide, there is a time-honored tradition that can settle everything."

"…And that is?"

Her lips formed into a smirk.

"What do you kids think about a little competition?"

The next day

I stood in front of the door to the service club with a bit of apprehension. Yesterday's spat was still fresh in my mind.

"… That… That doesn't solve any problems, and it won't help anyone either."

To change yourself to help others…

An idealistic view, but a rather flawed one.

The problem with the whole idea is that I don't believe there's anything wrong with how I am. I won't say I'm a good person, but I'm decent enough. I'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, but many times I'm just disappointed in how most would judge me by how I look. To dislike someone just because you're scared of their face or from rumors you don't even know is true is just pure prejudice.

But this was something I had come to live with.

I won't lie to myself and act friendly just to be in the good graces of people who don't deserve it.

I'm a prideful, narcissistic, cynical jackass, and I'll have it no other way.

Alright, mental preparations complete. Let's walk into the blizzard, shall we?

I slid the door open and casually walked inside. The Ice Queen, like yesterday, had her attention on her book. I decided to just ignore her for now and take a seat.

"Hello."

"…Yo."

"I didn't think you'd come back. Are you perhaps a masochist?"

Here we go again.

"Hell no."

"A stalker, then?"

"Why are we operating under the assumption that I have feelings for you?"

"You don't?"

Oi, you don't have the right to look surprised.

"Like hell I do. I thought I told you before that I have no interest in you whatsoever."

"I thought you were just acting abrasive. What was the word called? Tsundere?"

"…I'm surprised you've even heard of the word. That overconfidence is a bit too much, even for me."

Someone, please pull this girl off her high horse.

"Hey, do you even have any friends?"

"Well, let's start by defining what exactly a "friend" is-"

"Stop. Nevermind. No one with friends would ever say something like that.

Source: Me.

You seem to be the type of person that people tend to like, at face value at least. So why don't you have any friends?"

My question earned me a brief far off look before she turned away and frowned.

"Someone like you would never understand."

I beg to differ.

"I've always been cute, so pretty much all the guys who've approached me over the years had feelings for me."

Oh great Buddha, I regret ever asking.

"You call yourself a loner when guys fall over themselves for you? Darling, you give loneliness a bad name."

"It might've been nice if I really was liked by anyone and everyone."

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"When I was in elementary school, people hid my indoor shoes about sixty times. Fifty of those times were by girls. Because of that, I had to take my indoor shoes and recorder home every day."

"Frogs don't need shoes, Hikkifroggy!"

"If Hikkigerma plays the recorder our ears would get infected!"

"… sounds like a pain."

"Indeed it was. I am cute, after all. So I understand why they did what they did. No one's perfect. The human race is weak, ugly, jealous, and hate those with more than them. Strangely enough, it's the talented that have it rough. It doesn't make any sense, does it?"

Bullying doesn't have to make sense. All that needs to be clear is that it's wrong.

"That's why I'm going to change it all. I'll change the world and everyone in it."

"…That's a seriously crazy goal."

"Maybe, but I still think it's better than pushing the world away, like you." With her piece said, she turned to gaze out the window, probably to contemplate her own words.

Yukinoshita's suffering because she's gifted. It wouldn't have been a problem if she were to hide it. That's what most people in this world would do.

Yukinoshita didn't.

She absolutely won't lie to herself.

That's a part of her I realized made us rather similar. That's unlike me, to find common ground with someone. It was a strange feeling to find a somewhat kindred soul.

Maybe…

"Hey, Yukinoshita."

Just maybe…

"Hmm?"

She wouldn't mind.

"…No. It's nothing."

Yukinoshita stared at me for a moment before turning back to her book. I turned away just as well and sighed heavily internally.

We may be similar… but I shouldn't get ahead of myself. No point making a mountain out of an ant hill.

My thoughts were interrupted when a knock came from the door.

"Come in."

"E-Excuse me."

The door slid open to reveal a girl.

"I, like, came here 'cause Hiratsuka-sensei told me to."

The girl turned to face us after sliding the door shut, giving me a good look at her.

She had short pink hair, obviously dyed, that was tied up in a side-bun, and large brown eyes. A rather short girl but her-Holly Bouncing Buddhas!

I-I mean… ahem-ahem… a rather short girl but her rather bountiful bosoms made up for it.

All in all she was rather pretty. Too bad her whole look practically screamed riajuu.

"W-What's Hikki doing here?!"

Huh? Hikki? Is that a nickname or a shorter way of calling me a Hikikomori? Because if it's the latter, I commend you for being creative.

Wait a minute.

There was only one person in the world who'd call me such a ridiculous nickname.

For a brief moment, her pink hair was replaced with a light brown. The image clicked in the back of my head and a memory quickly started to rise.

"You're…"

"Yuigahama Yui from class 2-F, right? Have a seat," said Yukinoshita.

The now named Yuigahama smiled as she sat down, "Oh, so you like, know about me."

"She probably knows every student in this school."

"Nope. I had no idea who you were."

"Thank the gods for that."

"Yes, thank whatever deity made that so. If only the higher powers delayed our meeting for forever."

"How I wish. Don't count on those high-handed bastards upstairs to care about us mere mortals. Our misery is their entertainment."

"It's ok Hikigaya-kun. While you were blessed with my presence entering your life, it was only I that had to suffer the consequences of such a meeting."

Yuigahama, who had been silently observing our back and forth, suddenly sparkled with excitement, "This club… seems kind of fun!"

Both Yukinoshita and I stared at Yuigahama in disbelief. Did you seriously not pick up on the sarcasm?

"By the way, Hikki, you're like, totally running your mouth."

"Huh?"

"Uh… y'know, like… you totes act differently in class. And it's like, super scary how unapproachable you are. It's kind of…"

"Disgusting? Creepy? I can make a list if you want." suggested Yukinoshita.

"No-No that's not what I meant! But I guess you're not wrong either…"

"Oi."

There seems to be a growing trend of girls just being super rude to me recently. Hiratsuka-sensei, Yukinoshita, Komachi and now Yuigahama…

Hold up… THAT'S ALL THE GIRLS I CURRENTLY KNOW!

"Hikigaya-kun, is something wrong? Your eyes are more disgusting than before."

"…Don't mind me. Send your concerns to the client."

"Hmm… very well. Yuigahama-san, let's get on to your request, shall we?"

"Oh-Uh-Ok!"

"What? Cookies?"

The three of us were now in the home economics classroom where it seems to be the most efficient place to fulfill Yuigahama's request.

"She wants someone to eat her handmade cookies, apparently. Since she doesn't have much confidence in her skills, she'd like us to give her a hand. That is her request."

I stared at the gathered ingredients and kitchen appliances and sighed, "This seems like something you could ask your friends for help. You look like the type to have a shit load of female friends, I'm sure one of them would have gladly lent you a hand."

Yuigahama looked troubled at my words, "Well, that's… y'know… I don't want people to find out. 'Sides, my friends are like, not down with serious business."

"Oh, really?" Could you even call those people friends?

"Yeah. And I heard from Hiratsuka-sensei. You guys grant students' wishes, right?"

Yukinoshita quickly corrected her, "Wrong. The service club will only help. We do not bring water to the horse, but instead, the horse to water."

"T-That sounds kind of cool."

While the girls were chatting, I stood at the side awkwardly, "So, what should I do?"

"…You only need to taste them and give us your thoughts."

Why do I get the feeling that that's going to be the hardest job?

I stared at the pile of charcoal with apprehension. It was amazing really, to see how a good batch of nicely shaped cookie dough be transformed into black coals from hell.

"How can you make that many mistakes at once?" You tell me, Yukinoshita. You were the one who was supervising the girl.

"It looks like frickin' charcoal." I inspected a piece. Yup, this is charcoal alright.

"I think it might be poisonous."

"What're you calling poisonous?!" Yuigahama inspected a piece herself.

"Okay, so you might be right." Woman, I commend you for being truthful but you have no pride whatsoever.

Yukinoshita turned to me with an exasperated look, "Any chance of her dropping dead?"

If she eats her own cooking, maybe.

With a bit of cleaning and the disposal of Yuigahama's poisonous rocks, the girls were ready for attempt number two.

"Anyway, let's think about how we can do this better."

"By Yuigahama never stepping foot in the kitchen again," I suggested.

"Is that how you're going to solve things?!" Trust me Yuigahama. I've seen your kind of archetype in anime a hundred times before. You will never improve in cooking no matter how many times you try.

"Sigh… maybe cooking just isn't for me. Y'know, "talent" or whatever? I like, don't got it…"

"The only way we can solve things is through hard work." Yukinoshita had already started on making a new batch of cookie dough while Yuigahama was talking.

"Yuigahama-san. You just said you didn't have any talent, didn't you?"

"Huh? Yeah…"

"Fix that mentality of yours. Those that don't even try don't have the right to envy those with talent. Those who fail, do so because they can't imagine the kind of effort put in by those who succeed."

"B-But y'know, everybody says they don't want to cook these days. I'm just not cut out for this stuff."

Yukinoshita seemed to have had enough of Yuigahama's attitude. "Could you please stop trying so desperately to fit in? I don't like it at all. Doesn't it embarrass you to blame others for your own clumsiness and stupidity?"

Harsh, Yukinoshita. But I can't say she didn't deserve the reality check.

"S-So cool."

"Huh?"

Both Yukinoshita and I were now staring at Yuigahama as if she had just grown another head.

"You don't sugarcoat things at all. That is like, so totally cool!"

"D-Did you even listen to what I just said? I believe I was quite harsh."

"You did say some pretty horrible things, but it felt to me like they came from the heart. I could tell because I've always been trying to fit in with people."

Yuigahama looked up at Yukinoshita with a fire in her eyes, "Sorry. I'll do my best this time!"

Yukinoshita seemed to be out of words this time so I decided to pitch in, "She's being earnest with you. Teach her how to do it right."

"…sigh… I'll show you how it's done, so try following along."

Yuigahama smiled happily, "Yeah!"

And the results are in!

One perfectly baked batch of cute flowery biscuits, courtesy of the Ice Queen.

And one burnt pile of not-so-delicious batch of unrecognizable shapes. Congratulations, Yuigahama, you leveled up from poisonous charcoal to stomach pain inducing biscuits. Now at least you can say it's edible for prisoners sent to be tortured instead of death row.

"They're totally different…" said a dejected Yuigahama.

Yukinoshita was tiredly slumped on the table with her head buried in her arms. "I wonder what I should do to get through to her."

I, myself, was happily munching away on Yukinoshita's cookies. Say what you want about her terrible personality but these cookies are pretty good.

"Munch-munch… So, I've been meaning to ask. Why are you two trying to make delicious cookies?"

"Hah?"

"What are you trying to say?"

I dusted off the crumbs from my hands before smirking none too schemingly at the two.

"Come back in ten minutes. I'll show you how real handmade cookies are like."

It's my turn to shine, ladies.

Ten minutes later and I presented them, "my own batch of cookies".

"Hikki, they're burnt."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Hikigaya-kun, but I still have many things to do in life."

"Yeah, yeah, just eat it so we can get this show on the road."

The two reluctantly took a piece each before taking a small bite with fate. Both of them instantly had looks of regret.

"Hurgh!"

"Is this your so-called, 'real handmade cookies'?"

"It ain't very tasty!"

I pretended to look dejected at their comments, "Is that so? Sorry, I'll throw them away." I picked up the plate of burnt cookies and made to throw them but was stopped by Yuigahama.

"W-Wait! You don't have to throw them away. They're not that bad!" to prove her point she even went as far as finishing her half eaten cookie.

I gave her a mischievous smile, "Thanks for the consideration but they're not necessary. After all, these are your cookies."

"Huh?"

"What's this all about?" asked Yukinoshita.

"Well, it will be easier for me to explain with a bit of story."

"Hikigaya, catch!"

I turned to see a small object flying towards me and caught it by reflex. What I caught turned out to be a bag of cookies. I raised a brow at the brunette who had tossed it my way.

"Orimoto, what's this?"

"Cookies, duh!"

"I can see that. What I meant was why?"

"While you boys had gym, the girls were in home economics. We made a bunch of cookies and decided to distribute them to the class."

Sure enough, I could see the girls of my class giving the boys their own bags of sweet delicacies. Unsurprisingly the hormone induced dweebs were up on cloud nine.

"You know… some of the girls made their cookies especially for their own specific boy in mind."

That's a high probability. With how teenage girls seem to be stuck in the whole love fad, it wasn't surprising they would use this to their advanta-

I quickly snapped my head back to Orimoto, whose cheeks were now suspiciously pink, "Y-You didn't…"

Those bashful eyes had my heart stuck at my throat as they batted at me playfully.

"Hikigaya…"

Gulp.

"…Got ya!"

Huh?

Her cute blushing face instantly changed to the usual cheery Orimoto as she started to laugh heartily at me.

"Ahahaha! I can't believe you fell for that!"

You little minx! Give me back my emotions! Those don't come cheap!

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, Orimoto."

"Ahahaha! Yeah it was! You should have seen your face! I wish I had a camera!"

"Sigh… Alright, you've had your fun." I stretched out my arm and motioned for her to take back the bag of cookies. She sent me a confused look.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Jokes over, so you can take it back now."

"But Hikigaya, those are yours."

"Hmm?"

"I was joking about it being special… but I did want to give it to you." Orimoto had a cheeky but earnest smile as she said this.

Ok, resume heavy heartbeat. This shit be DOKI-DOKI for real this time!

"Well I'm going back to the girls. Tell me how they turned out, Hikigaya!"

I stood stock still as the little minx went and joined back with her fellow females. I stared at the bag of cookies in my hands and then to my fellow male classmates who were still souring the clouds.

Hikigaya Hachiman, the H stands for hypocrite.

A happy hypocrite.

"Hold it right there. What do your delusions-"

"Whoa there! I'm being a 100% truthful here!"

Yukinoshita looked like she didn't believe a word while Yuigahama looked somewhat lost and… upset?

"Anyway, what are we supposed to get from that story?"

"What I'm trying to say is that men are simple creatures. They get hot and bothered when all a girl does is talk to them. Just getting handmade cookies will send them flying to cloud nine and back. So it doesn't matter if they taste terrible."

Yuigahama suddenly came back from the land of the dead with an angry look, "Terrible!? Shut up!"

The airhead started to throw whatever rubbish she could grab at me. I swayed left and right; dodging the airborne rubbish none too enthusiastically.

"Well, as long as they know you did your best, they'll be moved."

"Is that how it works?" wondered Yukinoshita.

Yuigahama gave me a searching look, "Would it move you, Hikki?"

"I'm a guy. Just show me your earnest and I'll appreciate it." Of course after that I'll question your motives to the ground. Random acts of kindness are good and all but most of the time it isn't genuine.

At my answer, Yuigahama let out a small smile.

"So, what are you going to do now, Yuigahama-san?"

"Mmm… I'll try and do things my own way. Thankies, Yukinoshita-san."

"I'll be returning the keys to the home economics room back to the faculty. You two can go back home." said Yukinoshita.

"Thanks for the hard work."

"Thank you, Yukinoshita-san. See you again."

Yukinoshita nodded her head at us before leaving. Now it was just Yuigahama and I. I took a glance at the airhead and caught her looking at me, but she quickly turned away.

Man, this is awkward.

"Well… I'll be heading off."

"U-Um! Me too!"

We shared one more awkward exchange before I started to walk away. I heard footsteps behind me and sure enough Yuigahama was trailing behind.

"H-Hey, Hikki…"

"Hmm?"

"It's like… totally awkward, isn't it?"

"…Heh… pretty obvious, right?"

"Well, it's all Hikki's fault."

"Wait, my fault? Why is it my fault?"

"B-Because I wasn't expecting you'd be in the service club! It totes surprised me!"

"It wasn't my choice. Hiratsuka-sensei put me in the club against my will. And it's not like I wasn't surprised either when you suddenly showed up at the door."

"But you acted like you totally didn't recognize me!"

"That's because I didn't."

"We're in the same class!"

"…"

"Hikki!"

"Alright! I forgot we were in the same class. My mind blanked out on me for a bit. Not like I care about my other classmates either."

"Urgh, that sounds so Hikki." Is my name an idiom now?

"Don't sound so high and mighty, Ms. Airhead, or you'll float up to space."

"Hey! I am not stupid!"

"I said you're an airhead. You're way beyond regular stupid."

"Baka! Meanie! Pervert!"

We went on with this back and forth until we reached the school gates. It looks like this was the time we would go our separate ways.

"Ne, Hikki. Today was really fun."

"By fun meaning watching you make batch after batch of poisonous cookies, then sure it was pretty fun."

"That's totes not what I was talking about and you know it!"

Sorry, you just make it too easy.

"I meant talking to you and Yukinoshita-san. You two were really fun to hang around."

"That's because I'm a funny guy. Yukinoshita on the other hand? As fun as being stuck in a freezer, if that's your thing."

"Mou… but really. It sounds like it would be fun to hang out with you two."

"Please don't tell me you have more requests. I know it's hard, but be a good girl and solve them by yourself."

"Sigh… Hikki, you're hopeless."

The back and forth suddenly ended and what remained was a comfortable silence. I looked up at the orange sky with a sudden sense of lightness in my body.

"Hikki."

"Hmm?"

Yuigahama had this weird look on her face. It was a cross between hopefulness… and a hint of sadness.

"Umm… can… can we…"

"…What is it?"

"…No… No, it's nothing. It's getting late. See you tomorrow, Hikki. Bye-bye!"

Before I could even say anything she was already jogging away. I stared at her retreating back and sighed.

Yuigahama Yui.

An airhead who loves to be socially interactive.

A try-hard when it comes to fitting in with the crowd.

A nice girl at heart.

And she's a dog person.

How do I know all this?

Well, it's because we used to be friends.

December 2016 AN: OK, how was it everyone? Was it good? Boring? Decent? Better than the original?

For myself, I felt this was a better chapter then last time. It's twice as long and there's double the amount of interaction.

Review or send a PM and tell me all your thoughts as always.

Referance:

[1] Dragon Ball reference to Vegeta as he was an antagonist that becomes an ally later on.

Omake: The Price of Power

Deep within the forest of Chiba's mountain range, two men, a master and his pupil, stood facing each other. The master had a smile on his face filled with energy and strength. The pupil on the other hand, looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but where he was. The look of murder in his unique piercing eyes was ruined by the dark circles around them that showed his tired state.

"Oi, Shishou, what was so important that you had to kidnap me from my home and bring me all the way out to the freaking mountains?"

"Hachi-chan, my favourite pupil-"

"Your only pupil."

"-I have found a secret training regime that will unlock our body's full potential! With this, we can be stronger, faster, and hardier than any man known! We will become men among men!"

I raised my brow and gave my crazy master the best look of incredulousness I could give, "You kidnapped me all the way out here… to train?"

"YES!"

…

…

…

"I'm going home."

"W-WAIT, HACHI-CHAN! AT LEAST LET ME SHOW YA THAT I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"

I stopped and stared at Shishou in exasperation before groaning to let him know he could show off. He gave me a big goofy grin before giddily moving closer to a nearby large boulder about twice his size. He took a stance, and with bored eyes I watched as he sent out a punch at it. The second his fist made contact I had expected the sound of cracking bones and a scream of pain. I wasn't however expecting-

BOOOOOOOOOM!

The bloody boulder to fucking explode!

So surprised was I that I didn't even noticed I had been sent flying to the ground from the aftershock. When the dust settled I could see Shishou grinning at me like a madman on crack.

"So, Hachi-chan, do ya believe me now?"

"…How in the name of Buddha did you do that?"

His shit eating grin grew even more manic as he pulled out a piece of paper from his training gi.

"This, Hachi-chan, teaches the necessary steps to become the strongest man. Here, read it yourself."

I took the piece of paper with trepidation before reading it.

100 PUSH UPS
100 SIT-UPS
100 SQUATS
10KM RUN

EVERYDAY!

...

…

…

You have got to be kidding me.

Wait, there seems to be some fine print.

Completing this training regime will result in total hair loss. You have been warned.

"Shishou… it says here that you'll lose out all your hair if you do this. But you still have… your…"

I looked up to see Shishou with a hand on his "Hair". My face formed into the image of pure terror as he slowly…

Pulled it off.

(One week later)

In the Hikigaya household, one Hikigaya Komachi lay on the couch of the family living room, bored out of her mind. Her thoughts suddenly wondered to her Onii-chan, who had suddenly disappeared for a week to train in the mountains.

"Ne Kaa-kun, when do you think Onii-chan's coming home?"

The household cat, Kamakura, gave his usual reply, "Nyaa."

"Yeah, I miss him too. It gets kind of boring without my dear beloved Onii-chan to fuss over. Oh, that line earned me lots of points!"

The sudden ring of the doorbell jolted her up from the couch.

"I wonder who that is."

The person at the door started calling out from outside.

"Oi, Komachi! Open the door, would ya?"

"Onii-chan?!"

Quickly getting to her feet, she quickly dashed towards the front door and unlocked it with growing anticipation. Not even halfway open and a greeting left her excited lips.

"Welcome home, Onii-cha-"

Her words died in her mouth as soon as she saw her… brother.

Her eyes stared upwards, specifically at the top of his head, and saw… nothing.

Her bro-No. The creature, smiled and greeted her.

"Yo, Komachi. I'm home."

"GGGGGGYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

(A Onepunchman tribute. For Komachi's sake and mental health, this omake didn't actually happen. Saita-man is a just a dream.)