Chapter 17:
Alicia woke up first the next morning. She grabbed all her things from her room and put them in her bag before moving to the bathroom to do the same, and then proceeded downstairs. Kreacher was ready to greet her looking cheerful.
"Morning Kreacher." she mumbled as she sat.
"Mistress looks tired."
"It probably wasn't smart for us to stay up late going over the plan." she mumbled in response as Kreacher gave her coffee and hot rolls. It began to awaken her as the heat radiated through her body. Today was it, they'd break in. They had so many things set in place but Alicia had a bad feeling, it seemed getting the locket itself might not be hard but there was still something. What if they couldn't come back? Or didn't?
Alicia looked at Kreacher as he made more breakfast.
"Kreacher," he stopped and turned to her
"Yes Mistress, is the coffee okay?"
"It's perfect, but I need to talk to you about something." Alicia got up from her chair and kneeled before the elf, he seemed to realise this was important as she'd gotten down to his level.
"Yes Mistress."
"It's about today. There could be a prospect we don't come back, though I don't see why we wouldn't be able to given it's so well hidden, but just incase I have something I'm gonna need you to do." Alicia said carefully, listening for footsteps.
Kreacher nodded and listened.
"In the case we don't come back this evening, I want you to go to Hogwarts, immediately. If someone else comes knocking at the door, or we never return after the sun sets, do you understand?"
"Kreacher does Miss."
"When you get there, I would like you to go straight to the Headmaster's office, and tell Professor Snape, only when he is alone, that Alicia Potter wanted him to know we have Phineas Nigellus portrait with us, okay? Do not tell him anything else of what we're doing, where we've been or what we've said. He is not to know of the Horcruxes, or of Master Regulus' locket, the real locket, that we found Mundungus, or of the cave and the lake."
"Kreacher understands Mistress."
"This is what I want you to do if anything else happens, whether we leave, don't return or anyone gets into this house who shouldn't and forces us to flee. And Kreacher, most importantly, you cannot tell Harry I asked this of you, okay? That is very important."
"Kreacher will, anything Mistress asks." Alicia nodded thankfully, releasing a breath.
"Thank you Kreacher." she then thought of something else. "Oh, you wouldn't mind passing off another message after you've gone to Hogwarts would you?"
"Not at all Miss," Alicia nodded again
"I'd like you to find Remus Lupin, apologise for Harry and I and that we believed it was of the utmost importance he be with his family. After all, he's a very brave man." Alicia believed and Kreacher nodded. "That request Harry can know."
"Kreacher will Miss. Kreacher will remember it all."
"Thank you Kreacher. I don't know what I'd do without you." Alicia grinned and Kreacher nodded before he rushed to make her something nice to go with her hot rolls.
Hermione was next to arrive in the kitchen and Kreacher moved to give her some breakfast as well.
"Morning Hermione." Alicia smiled
"You're up early." the black haired girl shrugged in response.
Hermione sat and held her coffee before her as she pulled her beaded bag out to start rummaging around in it. Alicia's sat on the table beside the pensieve and her mirror which were the last things she was to put away.
Harry and Ron came down not long later as Hermione held her manic expression she usually had when studying for exams.
"Robes," she said under her breath, acknowledging their presence with a nervous nod and continuing to poke around in her beaded bag, "Polyjuice Potion… Invisibility Cloak… Decoy Detonators… You should each take a couple just in case… Puking Pastilles, Nosebleed Nougat, Extendable Ears…"
No one interrupted or stopped her as the boys sat down and were served breakfast as well. They gulped down their breakfast, Alicia put away her mirror and pensieve with the usual protection charms on them, then they set off upstairs. Kreacher bowed them out and promised to have a steak-and-kidney pie ready for them when they returned. Alicia gave him a smile and thanked him as they went up to the hall.
"Bless him," said Ron fondly, "and when you think I used to fantasise about cutting off his head and sticking it on the wall."
They made their way onto the front step with immense caution: They could see a couple of puffy-eyed Death Eaters watching the house from across the misty square.
Hermione Disapparated with Ron first, then came back for Alicia, Harry to go last. Alicia and Ron were standing in an alleyway where the first phase of their plan was scheduled to take place. It was as yet deserted, except for a couple of large bins; the first Ministry workers did not usually appear here until at least eight o'clock.
There was a pop and Hermione and Harry appeared as the cloak was removed.
"Right then," said Hermione, checking her watch. "She ought to be here in about five minutes. When I've Stunned her —"
"Hermione, we know," said Ron sternly. "And I thought we were supposed to open the door before she got here?"
Hermione squealed.
"I nearly forgot! Stand back —"
She pointed her wand at the padlocked and heavily graffitied fire door beside them, which burst open with a crash. The dark corridor behind it led, as they knew from their careful scouting trips, into an empty theatre. Hermione pulled the door back toward her, to make it look as though it was still closed.
"And now," she said, turning back to face the other two in the alleyway, "we put on the Cloak again —"
"— and we wait," Ron finished, throwing it over Hermione's head like a blanket over a birdcage and rolling his eyes at Harry.
Alicia and Ron crouched behind the bins, the cloak being not big enough while Harry and Hermione stood waiting concealed.
"I think it makes her feel better to recite it, so she doesn't forget." Alicia said to Ron quietly.
Little more than a minute later, there was a tiny pop and a little Ministry witch with flyaway grey hair Apparated feet from them, blinking a little in the sudden brightness; the sun had just come out from behind a cloud. She barely had time to enjoy the unexpected warmth, however, before Hermione's silent Stunning Spell hit her in the chest and she toppled over.
"Nicely done, Hermione," said Ron, emerging from behind a bin beside the theatre door as Harry took off the Invisibility Cloak. Together they carried the little witch into the dark passageway that led backstage. Hermione plucked a few hairs from the witch's head and added them to a flask of muddy Polyjuice Potion she had taken from the beaded bag. Ron was rummaging through the little witch's handbag.
"She's Mafalda Hopkirk," he said, reading a small card that identified their victim as an assistant in the Improper Use of Magic Office. "You'd better take this, Hermione, and here are the tokens."
He passed her several small golden coins, all embossed with the letters M.O.M., which he had taken from the witch's purse.
Hermione drank the Polyjuice Potion, which was now a pleasant heliotrope colour, and within seconds stood before them, the double of Mafalda Hopkirk. As she removed Mafalda's spectacles and put them on, Harry checked his watch.
"We're running late, Mr. Magical Maintenance will be here any second."
They hurried to close the door on the real Mafalda; Harry, Alicia and Ron threw the Invisibility Cloak over themselves but Hermione remained in view, waiting. Seconds later there was another pop, and a small, ferrety-looking wizard appeared before them.
"Oh, hello, Mafalda."
"Hello!" said Hermione in a quavery voice. "How are you today?"
"Not so good, actually," replied the little wizard, who looked thoroughly downcast.
As Hermione and the wizard headed for the main road, Harry, Alicia and Ron crept along behind them.
"I'm sorry to hear you're under the weather," said Hermione, talking firmly over the little wizard as he tried to expound upon his problems; it was essential to stop him from reaching the street. "Here, have a sweet."
"Eh? Oh, no thanks —"
"I insist!" said Hermione aggressively, shaking the bag of pastilles in his face. Looking rather alarmed, the little wizard took one.
The effect was instantaneous. The moment the pastille touched his tongue, the little wizard started vomiting so hard that he did not even notice as Hermione yanked a handful of hairs from the top of his head.
"Oh dear!" she said, as he splattered the alley with sick. "Perhaps you'd better take the day off!"
"No — no!" He choked and retched, trying to continue on his way despite being unable to walk straight. "I must — today — must go —"
"But that's just silly!" said Hermione, alarmed. "You can't go to work in this state — I think you ought to go to St. Mungo's and get them to sort you out!"
The wizard had collapsed, heaving, onto all fours, still trying to crawl toward the main street.
"You simply can't go to work like this!" cried Hermione.
At last he seemed to accept the truth of her words. Using a repulsed Hermione to claw his way back into a standing position, he turned on the spot and vanished, leaving nothing behind but the bag Ron had snatched from his hand as he went and some flying chunks of vomit.
"Urgh," said Hermione, holding up the skirts of her robe to avoid the puddles of sick. "It would have made much less mess to Stun him too."
"Yeah," said Ron, emerging from under the cloak holding the wizard's bag, "but I still think a whole pile of unconscious bodies would have drawn more attention. Keen on his job, though, isn't he? Chuck us the hair and the potion, then."
"Think something else was going on with him for his persistence?" Alicia offered. Harry shrugged beside her.
Within two minutes, Ron stood before them, as small and ferrety as the sick wizard, and wearing the navy blue robes that had been folded in his bag.
"Weird he wasn't wearing them today, wasn't it, seeing how much he wanted to go? Anyway, I'm Reg Cattermole, according to the label in the back."
"Now wait here," Hermione told Harry and Alicia, who were still under the Invisibility Cloak, "and we'll be back with some hairs for you two."
"You know I think it very bad luck we went last, considering we need to be hidden the most." Alicia mumbled.
"And I think you're very carefree about this." Harry said to her. She shrugged.
"No point standing here trembling, gotta keep my voice strong to impersonate whoever after all."
They waited ten minutes for the two to come back, waiting in the sick-splattered alleyway beside the door concealing the Stunned Mafalda. Finally Ron and Hermione reappeared.
"We don't know who they are," Hermione said, passing Harry several curly black hairs, and Alicia some blonde ones "but he's gone home with a dreadful nosebleed and she's got boils all over her face."
"It's good Fred and George have their own antidotes for them all," Alicia said as she took the polyjuice potion from Hermione and added the hairs.
"Here, Harry, he's pretty tall, you'll need bigger robes…"
She pulled out a set of the old robes Kreacher had laundered for them, and Harry and Alicia both retired to take the potion and change.
Alicia went through the transformation to become a blonde witch with a sharp nose and chin and the type to hold a stern look all the time. Harry however was now more than six feet tall and was powerfully built. He had a beard over his chin and was slightly menacing.
"Blimey, that's scary," said Ron, looking up at Harry, who now towered over him.
"Take one of Mafalda's tokens," Hermione told Harry, also passing one to Alicia, who bunned her hair up on the top of her head to fit the stern witch's persona. "and let's go, it's nearly nine."
They stepped out of the alleyway together. Fifty yards along the crowded pavement there were spiked black railings flanking two flights of steps, one labeled GENTLEMEN, the other LADIES.
"Don't forget what we look like." Alicia advised.
"See you in a moment, then," said Hermione nervously, and she and Alicia tottered off down the steps to LADIES.
They came to a public toilet were people were climbing into the cubicles and then when another went in the first had gone. A few witches were greeting one another as flushes sounded.
"We're…" Alicia began
"Flushing ourselves." Hermione said and Alicia sighed in exasperation.
"How gross." but both girls moved to a cubical, closed the door, and climbed feet first into the toilet. Her shoes and feet stayed dry as she reached for the chain and pulled.
She was sucked down and went flying through a short shoot to come out of one of the fireplaces. She moved forwards out of the way and Hermione came tottering up beside her.
The great Atrium seemed darker than Alicia remembered it. Previously a golden fountain had filled the centre of the hall, casting shimmering spots of light over the polished wooden floor and walls. Now a gigantic statue of black stone dominated the scene. It was rather frightening, this vast sculpture of a witch and a wizard sitting on ornately carved thrones, looking down at the Ministry workers toppling out of fireplaces below them. Engraved in foot-high letters at the base of the statue were the words MAGIC IS MIGHT.
"Of course the elves, Centaurs and goblins wouldn't be seen as equal." Alicia mumbled to Hermione
"Look though." Hermione responded and with a closer peer at the statues she realised the thrones were people. Hundreds and hundreds of naked bodies, men, women, and children, all with rather stupid, ugly faces, twisted and pressed together to support the weight of the handsomely robed wizards.
Alicia pulled a look while Hermione was looking around.
"Psst!" Alicia turned to see the six-footed, bearded man Harry was impersonating with the blue robes maintenance man of Ron beside him. They hurled over towards them.
"You got in all right, then?" Hermione whispered to Harry.
"No, he's still stuck in the bog," said Ron.
"Oh, very funny… It's horrible, isn't it?" she said to Harry, who was staring up at the statue. "Have you seen what they're sitting on? Muggles," whispered Hermione. "In their rightful place. Come on, let's get going."
"Yeah the sooner we get the locket the quicker we can leave with no trouble." Alicia said, scoffing as she completely disagreed that'd happen. Nothing was ever that easy with the four of them.
They joined the stream of witches and wizards moving toward the golden gates at the end of the hall, looking around as surreptitiously as possible, but there was no sign of the distinctive figure of Dolores Umbridge. They passed through the gates and into a smaller hall, where queues were forming in front of twenty golden grilles housing as many lifts. They had barely joined the nearest one when a voice said, "Cattermole!"
They looked around find one of the Death Eaters who had witnessed Dumbledore's death striding toward them. The Ministry workers beside them fell silent, their eyes downcast as fear rippled past them all. The man's scowling, slightly brutish face was somehow at odds with his magnificent, sweeping robes, which were embroidered with much gold thread. Someone in the crowd around the lifts called sycophantically, "Morning, Yaxley!" Yaxley ignored them.
"I requested somebody from Magical Maintenance to sort out my office, Cattermole. It's still raining in there."
Ron looked around as though hoping somebody else would intervene, but nobody spoke.
"Raining… in your office? That's — that's not good, is it?" Ron gave a nervous laugh. Yaxley's eyes widened.
"You think it's funny, Cattermole, do you?"
A pair of witches broke away from the queue for the lift and bustled off.
"No," said Ron, "no, of course —"
"You realise that I am on my way downstairs to interrogate your wife, Cattermole? In fact, I'm quite surprised you're not down there holding her hand while she waits. Already given her up as a bad job, have you? Probably wise. Be sure and marry a pureblood next time."
Hermione had let out a little squeak of horror. Yaxley looked at her. She coughed feebly and turned away. Alicia just stared at Yaxley with a stern expression on her face.
"I — I —" stammered Ron.
"But if my wife were accused of being a Mudblood," said Yaxley, "— not that any woman I married would ever be mistaken for such filth — and the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement needed a job doing, I would make it my priority to do that job, Cattermole. Do you understand me?"
"Yes," whispered Ron.
"Then attend to it, Cattermole, and if my office is not completely dry within an hour, your wife's Blood Status will be in even graver doubt than it is now."
The golden grille before them clattered open. With a nod and unpleasant smile to Harry, who was evidently expected to appreciate this treatment of Cattermole, Yaxley swept away toward another lift. Harry, Alicia, Ron, and Hermione entered theirs, but nobody followed them: It was as if they were infectious. The grilles shut with a clang and the lift began to move upward.
"What am I going to do?" Ron asked the other two at once; he looked stricken. "If I don't turn up, my wife — I mean, Cattermole's wife —"
"We'll come with you, we should stick together —" began Harry, but Ron shook his head feverishly.
"That's mental, we haven't got much time. You two find Umbridge, I'll go and sort out Yaxley's office — but how do I stop it raining?"
"Try Finite Incantatem," said Hermione at once, "that should stop the rain if it's a hex or curse; if it doesn't, something's gone wrong with an Atmospheric Charm, which will be more difficult to fix, so as an interim measure try Impervius to protect his belongings —"
"Say it again, slowly —" said Ron, searching his pockets desperately for a quill, but at that moment the lift juddered to a halt.
"Finite Incantatem. Impervius." Alicia said slowly and clearly and Ron nodded and began to mutter.
A disembodied female voice said, "Level four, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, incorporating Beast, Being, and Spirit Divisions, Goblin Liaison Office, and Pest Advisory Bureau," and the grilles slid open again, admitting a couple of wizards and several pale violet paper airplanes that fluttered around the lamp in the ceiling of the lift.
"Morning, Albert," said a bushily whiskered man, smiling at Harry. He glanced over at Alicia, Ron and Hermione as the lift creaked upward once more; Hermione was now whispering frantic instructions to Ron and Alicia stared forwards as if no one was in the lift with her. The wizard leaned toward Harry, leering, and muttered, "Dirk Cresswell, eh? From Goblin Liaison? Nice one, Albert. I'm pretty confident I'll get his job now!"
He winked. Harry smiled back, hoping that this would suffice. The lift stopped; the grilles opened once more.
"Level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services," said the disembodied witch's voice.
Harry saw Hermione give Ron a little push and he hurried out of the lift, followed by the other wizards, leaving Harry, Alicia and Hermione alone. The moment the golden door had closed Hermione said, very fast, "Actually, Harry, I think I'd better go after him, I don't think he knows what he's doing and if he gets caught the whole thing —"
"Level one, Minister of Magic and Support Staff."
The golden grilles slid apart again and Hermione gasped. Four people stood before them, two of them deep in conversation: a long-haired wizard wearing magnificent robes of black and gold, and a squat, toadlike witch wearing a velvet bow in her short hair and clutching a clipboard to her chest.