Hello guys + happy new years! Its so weird writing 2014 in school -.-.
Now, here is another chapter:
(Naruto does not and will never ever ever belong to me. I know its sad but nothing can change :( )
Opening the door to his apartment he looked around. He wasn't searching for anything in particular, and knew that no intruder was hiding. He just wanted to see the vast emptiness he felt. Closing the door behind him and without flicking the lights on, he walked to his coach and threw himself on it. He let himself lay there, staring at the dark ceiling, thinking about the evening.
He had not thought his return would turn out this way. In his mind he had pictured a day spent together with Sakura without any arguments, quarrels, or Yamato. He figured, however, that what had been done was done.
Now he had to think of a way to fix it and that wasn't taunting him too much.
He believed fixing the problem wouldn't take long. That soon Sakura and him would be reconciled. Anyways, countless of times he had seen Sakura angry and countless of times he would see her back to normal the next day. This would be no different, so he felt that worrying over such a thing was pointless.
Figuring that reconciliation was right around the corner, his head began wrapping itself on something else. He knew that the day's event wouldn't have played as such if the likes of someone was not there. The white haired ninja would probably have been with his rosette, talking and laughing at this moment. He cursed Yamato for his presence and most of all for his stupidity.
Stupid was an understatement for the brown haired nin. A dumbass was more like it, the white nin thought.
The behavior of Yamato was unexplainable to Kakashi. Had he not been explained the horror that had been brought on Sakura on the mission? That the brown haired nin had brought on her? Why would he want to get near the one person he hurt?
He very well knew that no answer was valid. He even had believed so that night that everything was revealed. Yamato could never have any sort of interaction or relationship with Sakura. They could no longer be in each other's life.
Kakashi, getting up from the sofa walked to his bedroom. It was time to sleep. Tomorrow he would fix everything and Sakura and him would be fine once again.
And Yamato far away from the both of them.
He stood in front of her door. His knuckles a couple of inches from the door itself. He had been standing there for a good ten minutes debating whether to knock or leave.
He couldn't believe he was still standing there. She had clearly stated that she wanted to talk to him so he came, but now he was cowering away.
Maybe she had just said those words out of politeness, Yamato thought, but knew he was wrong. There could only be one other reason she had asked this and that was something he didn't want to do. He couldn't talk about that with her, not yet, maybe not ever.
The thought of leaving was overwhelming and he would have done it, had it not been for her opening the door at that moment.
She looked surprised at seeing him there. He began to think that maybe she did just say those words out of courtesy. If that was so he wanted to punch himself so badly.
Her apparel was also not a way to indicate that his visit would be accepted. She was heading out, he had noticed. Yamato knew that he should have left when he had the chance.
"Yamato-sensei, what a surprise." She said.
"Yeah, sorry about that. We never discussed what time we should meet so I came.." Embarrassed, he was completely embarrassed.
"Crap, that's right. Sorry, come in." She said, giving him way to enter her home.
"Are you sure? Aren't you heading out?" He asked, not wanting to force her to leave her errands undone.
"Don't worry about it."
Yamato slowly walked in and took a seat when she had asked him to. She walked to the kitchen keeping a conversation with him about his morning and the party after her departure. He answered every question easily, hiding any fear in his voice.
Soon, he thought, she will begin talking about the mission. But she didn't, at least not as soon as he thought she would.
After coming out of the kitchen and into the living room, Yamato saw her holding two cups. Seeing the steam come up out of both cups he stood up and walking toward her took the cups and returned to his seat, placing the cups on the glass table that was in the middle. Sakura thanked him as she took her seat beside the brown haired nin.
"It's been a long time since we sat down and talked." She said after a long silence.
"It has been really long, hasn't it?" Yamato replied, truly feeling the length of their last true conversation.
Sakura nodded in full thought of the conversation they last had. It was only a couple of days before Tsunade had assigned her the mission. Yamato had knocked on her door and asked her how she was. She had answered that everything was fine in her life because at that time it was. They had a nice everyday conversation. They didn't talk about anything serious just what they planned to do over the weekend and their training.
"How have you been?" He asked, the same way he had asked her last time.
"I'm fine." Sakura replied but noticed the long unbelieving stare he gave her. "What?"
Yamato grabbed the cup on the table before answering. It was sweet, the tea she gave her, just like her. "You don't have to lie to me. I know what you're going thro..." He stopped himself then continued, "I may not be able to understand perfectly everything you're going through, but I'm the only one who truly knows."
What was he asking? Yamato thought. Was he asking her to confide in him, the person who was the one that brought everything? How stupid was he!?
"I'm sorry that was way inappropriate. I didn't mean to get in your life or anything I just.."
"Your right. I know I'm not fine. I know it won't,.. can't, be the same as before. But I do want someone to confide in and I believe you're the only person I can do that with. You're the only one that can understand." Her words came out low, but they were firm showing that she meant every word.
Yamato couldn't keep his eyes off her as she said this. She needed him and that made him contempt. "I'll be there for you always."
Sakura gave him a smile, thanking him. She admitted that she hadn't expected him to be the one to begin this conversation.
Now that everything was settled she needed to begin her plan.
"Yamato, how are you?" She asked.
"I've been getting better." An answer that was true. At the beginning he could barely walk around the streets without people pitying him. Now, however, his energy had rebooted; it mainly began yesterday, though.
"Are you just saying that or is it.."
"It's true, l promise."
"That's great." Sakura said grabbing her own cup from the table.
"Yes, for me, but how about you? You didn't answer me honestly before."
Before answering she thought about it, she truly thought of an answer to reply with, but the best she could come up with was, "I, I don't know."
Yamato raised one of his eyebrows in confusion. Sakura, noticing this gesture, elaborated, "I mean, I know I've been acting weird but I don't know how to act normal. Everything's so different now, I don't remember how I was before. For me, this is fine."
At her words Yamato snapped, "No, it's not fine. The you before was fine! You were happy and full of life. Now, now you look dead and it's my entire fault!"
Sakura saw his hand and the cup he held trembling. She realized Yamato was in pain, but to think that he was blaming himself all this time. How could he think that?
"You blame yourself?" Her question was answered as he put down his head in shame. "Why would you...you did no such thing. I-I was glad that we were partnered, that you were the one who helped me. Without you I couldn't have done it."
Yamato didn't believe a word. All she was doing was trying to make him feel less responsible for his actions. He had figured that all she wanted to do was help him get better. She wasn't thinking about herself, but of those around her.
"You have to stop! Stop worrying about everyone else and think about yourself first!" He raised his head to look straight into her eyes. "Between the both of us, you're the one who took the bigger blow. What happened to me was nothing. Sakura, you went through so much, and I couldn't do anything to protect you."
He put the cup back on the table. With all his shaking he feared that the cup would fall and break.
"Since we came back I've been trying to separate myself from you. This way you would forget, or at least, not have those memories taunt you when you saw me. This was my way of protecting you when I couldn't do it in the mission, but even then I found that I wasn't helping you. I wasn't protecting you at all, but myself. I couldn't bear to see you and remember all that happened, all that I did wrong. I was evading you but I couldn't see how broken you were."
Yamato hid his face from Sakura with his hands cupped. The words that came out next sounded murmured beneath his hands but she understood them.
They were shocking words. She couldn't believe how much he thought she hated him.
"I don't think of you as a monster."
Even after saying that he didn't take his hands off his face. He didn't believe a word she said.
"It's true!" Sakura said wanting him to understand that she was serious. "I've never seen you as that. You are someone who is kind and would harm no one." He didn't reply.
"You say you want to protect me, then do it!" She yelled, frustrated.
This time he did lift his head. "How!? What makes you think that I can protect you now when I couldn't do it before?"
"You want me to get better, right?"
Yamato stared at her puzzled not knowing where she was going with the conversation. He watched her closely. She seemed to be stuttering about something. As he was about to ask she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.
"I need you to get better. I want us like we were before. I don't want us to live in the shadows of the mission. I want us to be able to have a talk without blaming each other of whose fault it was." She heard her own voice crack, she was tearing up, but she wouldn't stop until all her thought were said. "We both know it can't be exactly like it was before, but we can try to fix it. Both of us together, that's the only way. So please, don't leave me like before, don't ignore me. Help me."
He didn't utter a word and she was beginning to think that her speech was useless. Her tears rolled down at the thought that she had screwed it up. Yamato would continue to blame himself and leave her for good.
She began backing away from him but was stopped. His hands closed in around her body, hugging her tighter than she had.
"Thank you." He said with a painfully grateful voice.
Everything was supposed to be fine. They were supposed to be back to having a conversation. They were supposed to have fixed their small argument days ago, but they hadn't.
The white nin was truly frustrated at thinking about the same thing over and over again. He had had it with this. He had expected for Sakura to come to him and apologize. He had no reason to, he had done nothing wrong.
For days he awaited her visit, but they had slowly passed with no sound of a knock on his door. He felt the despair at not being able to see her and it was killing him. He needed to go and see her but he couldn't apologize. What for? He had done nothing wrong.
He told himself the next day. The next day she would come, but she never did. Kakashi believed that his patience was a virtue, but not with the cherry blossom. He was about to blow if he didn't see her. It took a couple of more hours, though, to make him understand that the waiting game had come to an end.
Getting up from his bed he walked outside his door heading towards Sakura's place.
She had left work early and was now preparing food for her visitor. Food was an understatement. In truth all she was doing was a salad and preparing the table, the rest was up to her visitor.
Once she completed her task she began getting dressed. Although the small dinner was among a friend she tried picking up a casual but festive dress. She knew that, even though this sounded like a normal occasion, it meant so much more. Finally everything was going back…to normal? She didn't know, but it was something to celebrate. Putting on a blue summer dress with a white ribbon tie around the waist she looked at herself in the mirror. It was very casual yet had its sense of elegance in it.
From her bedroom she heard the door and putting on her white scandals went to the door. She opened it wide and was already prepared to help with the grocery bags. She began holding her arms out to help, but instead of seeing a brown haired man, all she saw was white.
Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I have already started with the next chapter promise .. Well like always I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and any feedbacks on anything is highly appreciated!
Thank you guys for taking up your time and reading this, I feel so happy T.T
-zero10296 =D