A/N: I am so excited to see people are reading this! I even got my first comment and let me say, it made my day (you know who you are, and thank you so much). Hopefully I will not disappoint.
Dounia knew she was pressed for time. She had left her mother to drink tea in their modest room, however she knew it would not be long before she suspected her outing consisted of more than the marketplace. Honestly she had been expecting her meeting with Svidrigailov to be shorter, but it was clear the moment she saw him staring at his feet in front of the hospital with his head bandaged and a far away look in his eyes that it would take some patience.
Knowing this and suspecting his mental state would be rather declined beforehand, she had gone through with it anyway. Looking back on herself, Dounia believed she did a good job keeping her composure despite his antics and strange shivering throughout their conversation. She was especially proud of not mentioning the ruby stains in his hair and down his temple. There was no need to let him know the other reason why she had reconsidered, and showing concern would have done just that.
Her feet worked fast to get on with her errands, but her eyes scanned the streets and corners wearily. She had barely been able to sleep last night after her encounter with Svidrigailov. Dounia still could not believe she had gotten away unscathed, but what she could not believe even more was that he had let her go without a fight. A simple rejection was all it took in the end, and he had given her the key in silent submission. It was not until she reached the steps to her and her mother's tenant building that she realized she had left the gun behind, though, and that sealed her fate to not sleep a wink in the night.
It was dawn when she finally left with the excuse of replenishing the tea leaves. With the amount of money Dounia had managed to acquire during the past few days, her mother could not object to drinking a plentifully flavored tea, so she let her go without another word. Dounia hoped she had not been obvious speeding through the foggy cobblestone roads with her skirt held away from her feet, struggling to remember where she had met Svidrigailov the night before, until a chance encounter left her staring at a body in the street with a pool of blood forming around familiar grey curls.
She shuddered at the memory, but did her best to push it from her mind. She was to have no guilt in the matter, after all, she was not the one who lured them both into a vacant home with locked doors. He had brought his misery upon himself, she said over and over again all morning. She did her part, offering to help the authorities and coming back that afternoon as promised, and she had finally said what she believed she would say all night. America was her next destination, with her brother, dear Razumikhin, and Svidrigailov alongside her.
When she reached Rodion's place, she made sure to open the front door with care so as to not disturb the landlady. Now was not the time to draw attention to Raskolnikov or his debts. Walking up the rickety steps was a different challenge though, as everywhere she put her delicate feet seemed to elicit a loud crack in the floorboards. When Razumikhin burst from a room upstairs and thundered down, she knew all hopes of being sneaky were lost.
"Oh, Miss Romanovna!" He said in a flustered tone when he ran into her. "Your brother was just talking about you- I mean, not in a degrading manner of course, and by that I mean perhaps sibling rivalry or something of the sort. You know how Rodion gets! And I would never insinuate anything improper-"
"Razumikhin, I trust you wouldn't," she quickly put a stop to his babbling. He scratched his head in embarrassment, tipping his hat forwards just a bit.
"My apologies, Miss Romanovna. I hope I have not caused any-"
"Offense? Not at all." He blushed at his predictability, but she continued, "And please, 'Dounia' will suffice. I have to discuss important matters with you, and if you accept, formalities will hardly be our worst problems."
He looked surprised at this, and looked around for a moment before asking, "Should we go somewhere more private?"
"My mother is still in our room, so that is out of the question."
"Right. We could go to my apartment, but of course only if you don't think it too improper! I would never want to make you feel, or appear to others-"
"Yes, I think your home would be the best option at this point." He blinked at her for a moment while he processed her interruption, before snapping back into the present with a smile and a gesture for her to continue in front of him.
They walked the streets in silence, Dounia because she was too busy thinking about how to present what she was going to say to Razumikhin, and him because he was too flustered at the whole event. He walked her up the narrow stairs of his building and held the door for her without a word.
Razumikhin's apartment was noticeably in better condition than her brother's. The walls sill held their wallpaper, bringing some color into the room. He had a bed in the corner, but the room was large enough to allow a desk, a modest bookshelf, and even a table with two chairs. He pulled one out for her to sit in, but she remained standing by the door.
"Come in, come in! What kind of host would I be if I left you standing there the whole time?" He was already scrambling around the room to put papers and cups away. "Would you like some tea?" He was already removing his hat and coat.
"I'm fine, thank you. The more time we have the better." She wrung her hands around in nervousness for a moment, suddenly wondering if he would even dare leave the place he had set up for himself just for her, but remembered that her request was not in her name, but Rodion's. "Perhaps it is not for me to say, but I must confess that Rodya has done something absolutely terrible, and he is in danger of being arrested."
Razumikhin instantly ceased his rustling with the mess on his desk, and turned slowly to meet her eyes. It did not look like he would be able to ask what it was, for his mouth was hanging open in shock and his skin had turned an alarming pale shade. Dounia continued,
"He is the murderer they're after. The crime with the pawnbroker… it was him." It was harder to say than she thought it would be, and she almost expected Razumikhin to get upset. He did, but not in the way she expected.
He looked back to the desk, his entire body absolutely still. Then, "Did he tell you?"
"Svidrigailov told me, but he heard him confess it to Sonia the other day. Honestly, do you need him to say it himself to believe it? You've seen him as of late, fainting at every mention of the police, bedridden with fever and just absolutely mad."
"He is not mad," Razumikhin was quick to say. He realized this too, and quickly recovered, "He is guilty, but not mad. He never was… he was always too clever for his own good. Always saying the oddest things and having a way to make them sound clever, but good God! What has he done now!"
There was a silence between them then, where Dounia waited for Razumikhin to possibly say more, and the latter stood at the desk with his hand in his hair and a look of desperation on his face, like he just didn't know what to do from there on.
Finally, Dounia spoke up. "Svidrigailov said something else, too. He offered to help Rodya reach America and escape capture, if I go with him."
"Did you accept?"
"Not at first, but I thought about it all night. Rodya has been so ill, I don't think he would last in prison, let alone the Siberian prisons where the worst are sent. He is responsible for the death of two innocent women, surely they would send him there, and I don't think I would ever see him again." By now she was looking at her skirt tips brushing against the floor, unable to meet Razumikhin in the eyes. She knew she already sounded desperate, and perhaps he would only say yes because she looked like a beggar, but she had to try anyway. "I met Svidrigailov this morning and told him I changed my mind, only I know my brother. He will never listen to me, and he bears a hatred towards Svidrigailov due to past conflicts. He will never come willingly, and I cannot make him. If you came along though…"
Dounia's request hit Razumikhin like a ton of bricks. His eyes widened at her invitation, and all he could say for a moment was "to America?" He continued to think, or at least, that is what Dounia hoped he was doing. She was close to praying that he would not turn her down, because she had no idea how else they would persuade Raskolnikov to come with them.
"Romanov- I mean, Dounia, this is a lot to think about. Pardon me if I had a negative reaction, but do you think Rodion will flee Russia when he finds out we all know of his crime, and we want to hide him in America? I hardly think I'll make a difference!" He came closer to her as he paced a bit in the room, looking lost. "If we don't try though, he'll surely be caught. Oh, why did he have to go do something as senseless as this..!"
"Razumikhin," Dounia sighed, feeling a bit lost herself, "He may not show it, but Rodion is very fond of you." Razumikhin focused his attention on her again. "He seems to have isolated himself from the whole world, even from us, but he came to you for help on his own accord. He remembered you, even when he left school and locked himself up in that coffin of a flat he has. He must trust you, even care for you, quite a bit." Razumikhin was beginning to look a bit flustered at her confession, and smiled boyishly at her in embarrassment.
"Rodion is very unexplainable at times, isn't he? That's how he has always been, even in school when we were studying law. People shied away from him because of how strange he can be, but I always found it gives him an even more interesting character." He smiled at his own words, despite where that strangeness in Raskolnikov had landed them.
"It seems you are very fond of Rodion as well."
At this, Dounia could swear she saw Razumikhin's cheeks turn a shade of pink, but it was gone so quickly that she blamed the strange lighting from the half closed window. "I saw him just now, as you know. We met in the stairs after all… He looked so sick again, like he never got any better. I do not think he'd fare well in Siberia either, and Rodya had to have some reason. I cannot believe he would do it for nothing, he must have been delirious, hungry, penniless… just look at what his actions have done to him!" He ran a hand through his hair and took a sharp breath, holding it for a moment in thought, and finally said, "If coming with Rodion will help him live, I'll gladly leave everything behind."
Dounia's somber tone uncontrollably shifted into a smile, and she almost grabbed Razumikhin's hands in excitement. "You're sure? I do not know if or when we would ever come back. Do you have family?" She knew she sounded like she was dissuading the answer she had hoped for, but she wanted to make sure there was no chance of the plan falling apart last minute.
"I have not spoken with them in years. I do not have the slightest clue as to where they may be now, so it hardly matters." He smiled shyly, "Perhaps you and Rodya will be my new family."
"Perhaps indeed," she returned his smile, albeit a bit shakily at the adrenaline she was getting at the thought that this was really happening. Everyone was ready, and all they needed was a plan to bring Raskolnikov. "In two days then, in my brother's apartment building?"
"I'll be there."