If Lilly had to pick one word to describe reincarnation, it would be...
Exhausting.
Contrary to popular belief, She didn't remember every little detail from every single life.
Thousands and thousands of years, for almost each and every lifetime. Five lifetimes total.
Yeah...No. No way in the stars above did Lilly have the memory capacity to recall every name, every face, every event that ever happened to her in all five of her reincarnations.
That being said, she still had quite a bit crammed into her head, major events, fixed points, priority level names and faces, subconsciously stored data like muscle memory and learned skills...A lot of stuff.
The headaches, she had learned somewhere along in her third life, where monumental.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Lilly glanced up a Steven from where she was slumped over the kitchen counter, a data pad she'd kept stored in her gem clutched in hand. She rubbed her temples in an attempt to alleviate the pain.
"I'm fine, Steven. It's just a little headache."
The young hybrids brow furrowed. "I didn't know gems could get headaches."
Amythest joined them at the counter, a can of soda in hand. "Sure we can. I get one whenever pearl enters the room!"
There was a flash from the warp pad and Lilly felt a sharp stab in her skull. She closed her eyes with groan and gripped her data pad harder. Steven glanced at her in concern.
Meanwhile Pearl and Garnet stepped off the warp pad. Amythest clutched her face dramatically and collapsed on the floor.
"It's back!"
Pearl rolled her eyes. "Get off the floor, Amythest I just swept them last night."
Amythest popped up and sat on the counter. "Ugh, killjoy."
Garnet glanced at Lilly and smirked. "That's not gonna go away anytime soon."
Lilly sighed and set down her data pad. "Ugh. I thought not."
Steven glanced over at the alien device. "What are you working on?"
Lilly shrugged. "Eh, just research, I connect my data pad to this world's 'Network and Comm system, I figured since it's either life on this planet or death, I may as well figure out how it works."
"Why were you on that ship anyways?" Pearl asks, moving towards ththe fridge, most likely to prepare lunch for Steven.
Lilly paused, thinking back to her first life, it had been a while since she'd fallen back on those memories, but they were the ones she remembered best, and anyways, she'd be comm-ing Apricity tonight to work on smoothing over her timeline, so why not.
"I, worked under a pretty strict agate, other moonstones, they don't mind the little flaws that sometimes pop up in certain harvests, but once she found out I was defective, she had me reported. This trip to earth was...something of a final assignment. Stay on the ship and fix whatever breaks, and after that, I'd be dropped off at the nearest recycling facility."
"No! No! You can't take her! Please no! Not my apprentice please, not my Lilly!"
Lilly shut her eyes tightly, as if the action could squeeze out the painful memory, like a stubborn tear pushed out of the duct.
Luna hadn't taken well to having her apprentice sentenced to death, and it had nearly gotten them both killed.
A hand gripped her shoulder. Lilly glanced at it.
"We don' condemn imperfections here. We'll look after you "
Garnet, of course.
I wish you could remember all the times you've comforted me before, in my first life, when Luna had turned to Rose quartz, offering her services as an inventor just to protect me.
In my second life, when Luna left me on earth in Roses care and returned to Homeworld alone to cover our tracks and make sure no one found us.
Both lives then, you looked after me for centuries, I was the only one you were older than, and you never let me forget it. You were my big sister, always there for me, when it was important.
The words were at the tip of her tongue, prompted to spring forth by the warm gem on her shoulder. Ruby...
She could tell them.
That was the painful bit. She had the power to spill her guts at any moment. They'd be mad at first, probably. Hurt that she'd lied and that she willingly died for them again and again.
Or maybe they'd think she was insane. And she'd be forced to laugh it off, say it was some crazy dream or something.
Either way, they'd never look at her the same. And the knowledge of the timelines were dangerous. The things she knew about the universe, the Beyond, the empire, everything, they couldn't handle the knowledge. It was a power that came with a crippling weakness.
This much she knew.
She'd tried telling someone before.
She looked up at Garnet. The millions and millions of words at the tip of her tongue faded into nothing.
"I...thanks."
*flashback time*
"Fern...I'm sorry.
She'd tried telling someone before...
blood everywhere, sinking into the ground, staining her hands. She pressed her hands over the wound, trying to stop the blood.A shaky hand stopped her. She looked up, into the eyes of the girl in her arms. Her face was so pale. The wound in her stomach was too deep and she seemed to sense it.
"Lilly..."
She fought back a sob.
"No."
"Lilly."
"No! Just...hang on. Rose and the others will be back soon she can-"
"I think we both know there isn't enough time for that."
She did sob that time, laying her head to rest on Fern's chest, listening to the fading heartbeat.
"I'm sorry. I'm, so, so sorry! If I had just-"
"You couldn't have known they'd find out."
"I'm the only one who can hold them off. I shouldn't have told someone so vulnerable."
"Hey,"
Even in death, that soft smile of her didn't fail to ignite a swooping...something in the pit of her stomach.
"I'm a tough girl...managed ta keep up with you..."That earned her a wet laugh
"Yeah, well, an invention like that, s'not hard."
She tapped the gleaming white gem clipped into her ear. Not a real gem, a brilliantly crafted prosthetic, though it looked remarkably like the one Lilly had once had, before this life.
Fern must have recognised that look, this wasn't the first time Lilly had mourned the loss of her gem.
Being born a human in this, her third life, had taken a toll on her. Not emerging from the ground, and landing into the safe arms of her mentor had been, rattling.
She'd found her of course, Luna had joined Roses rebellion in a fit of rage after being denied an apprentice despite all her years of loyal service.
So when Lilly, and some other young prodigies from the nearby Village had traveled to their base to offer their services to the fight for earth.
Luna had been quite taken with the little human teen who's mind proved to be every bit as brilliant as any moonstone, and Lilly reveled in the presence of Luna whom Lilly's time as a human told her was less of a teacher and more of a mother.
And of course there was Fern. Beautiful, brilliant Fern whose warm grin made her mind go fuzzy and was both crazy and genius enough to create a prosthetic gem that gave her the abilities of a really gem, long lifespan and all.
Of course, those aging capabilities weren't helping her now. And and icy feeling in Lilly's gut told her that Fern might be right, and that Rose wouldn't arrive in time.
Then there was a click and something cold was pressed into her bloodstained hands.
She lifted her head. Placed in her hand was Fern's prosthetic gem.
Take it."
"Fern...No. I can't."
A pale, shaking hand lifted to press itself against her cheek.
"Take. It." She repeated firmly. " Put it on, and be the moostone you told me all those stories about, the one actually fought in. wars instead of being trapped in camp all the time building gadgets. You can do so much more than you're allowed to do in this life, as a human."
"There was a perk to being human." Lilly whispered.
"Oh?"
"I got to meet you."
Fern laughed, which turned into a cough, which turned into harder coughing, globs of blood spurting from her lips. Fern's ragged breathing slowed and her eyes went wide and glassy.Soon her breathing stopped and Lilly could swear a flame went out in her eyes.
"Fern? Fern!"
She shook her companion hard and got only bloodstains in response.
"No! Please..."
Lilly shook her head roughly and stood. The others jumped at the sudden movements.
"um, ugh. I-I'm gonna just...go and get some air..."
Lilly grabbed her data pad and shoved it back into her gem, making a dash for the screen door all the while. She rushed out and let the door slam shut on it's own.
The sky. The Sky was going to crush her, the air was too heavy. She was suffocating.
It was...It was too warm. Why was it so warm?!
Lilly staggered slightly down the steps and made her way around the temple, half running half tripping up the hill.
This wasn't something she had to think about. Her feet knew the way, up the hill, past the lighthouse, coming to rest at the cliff's edge.
Lilly collapsed on the soft grass and let her feet dangle over the edge.
Lilly closed her eyes, breathing hard, allowing the scent of sun warmed grass and honeysuckle to ground her in the present.
Or maybe she was still drifting in the past.
Sitting here, on the cliff above the temple, it wasn't hard to pretend she was back at the beginning, that very first life, where she'd spend her days just laying here in the quiet.
If she kept her eyes closed, she could even imagine that Luna or Garnet or even Rose was sitting there with her, keeping her company in silence, savoring the precious moments of peace before their responsibilities as protectors of earth made themselves known.
It hadn't been as hard back then, their numbers had been larger, with Lacy's muscle and Luna's skills to help balance out the field.
A smirk twitched at the corner of her mouth.
Luna, like all moonstones, was tall and thin, the picture of benevolent grace. Her long, soft grey blue dress and flowing dark grey hair, reminiscent of blue diamond, only added to that picture.
The last thing anyone expected for the gentle gem to wield for a weapon was a giant scythe
Rose certainly hadn't expected it, Lilly recalled, remembering the first time their leader had witnessed Luna draw her scythe. A trio of arrogant quartzes who'd thought pranking the gentle inventor while she was working would be a good idea.
Luna had drawn her weapon faster than they could react and poofed them in a single swing.
Certainly, no one had ever dared to disturb Luna while she was working again.
Lilly sighed and sat up, looking down on the beach in silence.
"Beautiful, is it not?"
Lilly sighed. "Apricity."
The apperation smirked. "What, not happy to see me?"
"I'm tired."
The smile turned sympathetic. "The mortal mind was not meant to live this long."
"And yet, here I am."
"Yes," The goddess agreed, clasping her hands on her lap. "Here you are. Complain though you will, I seem to recall that it was your choice to partake in this quest."
The gem sighed, "Yes, I did."
Apricity gave a hum of acknowledgement.
"I noticed your decision to stray from the chosen default life-story I'd selected."
"Problem?"
She shook her head. "No. The necessary alterations have been made to your past. Would you like me to return your birth form as well?"
Lilly raised a brow. "Is that allowed?"
Apricity laughed. "I am a god, Lillian. Though this task is yours to complete, I am not above offering the necessary tools and assistance."
There was a snap and Lilly felt her blood and bones disintegrate into light. She became more aware of her ear as the prosthetic gem fell off and a solid one took it's place.
"Thanks."
Apricity picked up the contraption and inspected it idly.
"Speaking of assistance," she began casually, "I've considered allowing you a...partner, of sorts, to ensure the completion of your quest."
Lilly glanced up curiously. "You mean like, another time jumper?"
"I did say this timeline would be harder than the others." The goddess stated wryly.
"As I have said before, if I didn't desire you to complete this mission, I wouldn't have given it to you. As it is, I have a great interest in the wellbeing of my creations, and if it is a companion you desire, I will gladly provide it."
"They have to be willing." Was Lilly's immediate response. "You have to tell them exactly what their getting into, but if you can find someone, then...yeah, some help'd be nice."
Apricity nodded. "I'll send them your way as soon as I can."
Lilly smirked, "heh, the goddess of the fourth dimension, pressed for time. "
That earned her a chuckle. "It's not my time I'm keeping up with."
"Touchè."
Apricity handed Fern's prosthetic gem back to Lilly. "You'll be needing this."
And then she was gone.
Lilly sighed and stood, never let it be said that Apricity, goddes of time and dimensions, creator of the Gems, didn't know how to be cryptic.
She took the artificial gem and stored it within her real one before making her way back down to the temple via leyline.
Garnet was waiting for her when she landed on the porch.
She didn't say anything, she didn't have to.
The Crystal gems had only known her for a few days, and though she'd done her best to seem harmless and helpful, (assisting in cleaning up the beach and fixing Steven's TV) it didn't change the fact that she was a Homeworld gem in their eyes who, death sentence or no, could still have some loyalty Homeworld.
That she was a moonstone, skilled in the art of code and metal, made them all the more wary.
After all, what was to stop her from building a comm transmitter and alerting Homeworld to their activity?
They were far more on edge in this timeline than they'd ever been in any of the others.
All it had taken before was a little kindness and her patented puppy dog eyes and they'd softened easily enough, always chalking her behavior up to fact that she was a moonstone.
The stereotype that all moonstones were soft, overly emotional, and extremely sociable, however true to a certain degree, had a knack for working in her favor.
Now though, the Crystal gems were too afraid, to wary to trust anything or anyone from Homeworld.
"There you are! where were you?"
Pearl rushed out the door, having noticed her arrival.
No doubt she and the others thought she'd decided to go rogue or something.
"I-not far I was just..." Lilly pointed up towards the cliff helplessly.
Pearl seemed to relax marginally knowing she hadn't gone far.
"I'm sorry for running off, I just-" Lilly let a huff, feeling her headache come back at full force and the torrent of emotions starting to leak through her barriar.
Moonstones weren't meant to keep their emotions to themselves. They were meant to rely on each other and Lilly was starting to feel the strain.
"I'm just don't know what to do! I'm so used to everything being fine! I miss my mentor and I miss my job and I just thought if-maybe If I just acted like everything was okay it would be. But It's not, this planet-"
Lilly brandished her data pad in the air, and began to pace, ignoring the concerned stairs of Steven and the Gems as her rant began roll faster down the hill of no return.
"-makes no sense!" That was true, actually most of every thing she was saying right now was true. this earth had a different culture, and history than she was used to, and this body, that of a two hundred year old newling apprentice, was more emotional than her old mind knew howl to handle.
"And Luna probably thinks I'm dead and my head hurts and I just-"
Lilly's rapidly speeding tangent was cut off by Garnet grasping her shoulder, effectively silencing the hysterical gem and turning her attention to the fusion.
"Your mentor?"
Oh, so she'd noticed that bit. Ugh, the last thing she needed right now was for the Gems to act like she was some sort of baby. She was young, not helpless.
Unfortunately, her silence was some sort of confirmation for Garnet and she lowered her visor, three multicolored eyes looking at her in concern.
"You're just an apprentice aren't you?"
"No! I-yes but-I just-i've only got a century left before I'm done!"
"A century is still too long to be separated from your mentor." Garnet stated worriedly.
"I'm fine!" Lilly insisted, shaking off Garnet's hand from her shoulder.
"What's an apprentice?" Steven asked, peaking out from behind Ameythest, having been rather startled by the normally calm and gentle moonstones outburst.
"Well Steven," Pearl began, placing a hand on the small of his back. "Most gems come out of the ground knowing everything they need to know about their designated purpose. Moonstones however,"
Pearl glanced at Lilly who was glaring with her arms crossed while Garnet closely inspected her physical form, as though expecting her to collapse from some deadly illness at any moment.
Pearl looked away and went back to her lecture "- are the inventors of almost all of Homeworlds technology, and much of that is something that needs to be taught personally. Because of this, when a moonstone is born, so to speak, they are given a mentor, who looks after their apprentice, or newling as they're sometimes called for roughly three to four centuries until they're ready to function independently."
"Think of Moonstone Mentors as mothers and apprentices as their children."
"Oooh!" Steven said, nodding in understanding.
"So What? Lilly's like a kid?" Amythest asked with a raised brow at the pale gem, who had finally shoved away Garnet's hands and was glaring at her from her perch on the porch railing.
"No!"
"Yes." Corrected Garnet, putting her visor back on. "And much like human children, it's often harmful for the child to be separated from their parents before their ready."
Garnet turned to Lilly. "You've had a bad headache all day haven't you?"
It wasn't a question.
"I'm fine!" Lilly insisted. She threw her hands up in the air.
"I'm a tough gem! A little separation anxiety isn't going to kill me! Stars! Can I go back to being on death toll now?!"
Lilly stormed past the Gems and back into the house. She collapsed onto the couch and grabbed a pillow, screaming into it just a tad dramatically.
Stars, Apricity was right, this timeline was going to be impossible!
She'd forgotten the Gems were such worriers!
Ugh, she hoped the time goddess sent that backup here soon, because she was pretty sure her sanity was at stake.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Haha! yeah, so there's a more childish side of Lilly for you, and a little more timeline lore.
yes, Apricity created the first gems, no, she does not approve of what they've been doing, which is why she recruited Lilly to secure all the timelines where the empire went corrupt and turn them back into good ones through the powers of love!
Or you know, killing all the genuinely evil ones that are doing all the corrupting and manipulation in the first place. /
So yeah there's that, I know, it took me forever to update this, please understand that inspiration comes and goes, and that I'm working on several other stories right now as well as an actual life, outside of the internet that I need to focus on.
This year has been hard on me, especially the last couple of weeks, but I'm doing what I can okay...
But no more of That! Only positive vibes from this point on! I worked really hard on this story, I hope you liked it. Shout to all you supportive folks down in the comments, I actually check up on you guys every couple of weeks and It warms my heart to see new comments and suggestions.
Please read and review,
-Blue.