Chapter 19

What If

"How are you today, Kaneki?"

"..."

"You have to answer me. It's part of the rules. Right, Kaneki?"

"...I'm fine."

"Very good. Let's get started. What should I take from you today?"

"Anything's fine. I want to get this over with fast."

Kaneki's grey eyes opened slowly. He didn't fully open it, only half-lidded, giving his stare a bored impression. The white ceiling was the first view he saw this morning. He blinked twice then rubbed his eyes, fully opening his morning vision.

"...What time is it?"

Kaneki tilted his head to his left, looking at the white digital alarm clock that was sitting on the nightstand.

"7:15..."

The white-head closed his eyes as he drew a sharp breath then let it all out from his nose.

"Oof!"

The sudden weight on his stomach forced him to reopen his eyes again. Rize was straddling him, a naughty smirk attached on her face. She wore a pair of black shorts and a white tank top that hugged her curved figure nicely. Her purple hair hung loosely on her shoulders down to her chest.

Rize leaned down bringing her lips closer towards Kaneki. She gave him a chaste kiss, using that as the replacement of her daily 'Good morning'.

Kaneki lazily smiled. He lifted up his hand and began to caress her violet tress, "I thought you were still asleep."

"I was waiting for you to wake up." Rize leaned down again and gave an another kiss.

Kaneki grinned over her lips. He kissed her back this time, softly and slowly. Mostly because he just woke up but kissing her first thing in the morning wouldn't hurt.

Rize pulled away first. Her gaze was fixated on the other pair of smokey grey orbs that were also looking at hers lovingly.

"We did great, didn't we?" She asked a tag question. She wasn't really sure. If anything, Rize could say that the operation before was done... not-so-very-well.

Realizing her doubt, Kaneki cupped her face with his hand, "We did. It turned out great. Next time, we'll do even better. I'm going to join the battles until the end, right?"

Rize leaned her face closer to Kaneki's warm hand. Her own softly caressed the back of his hand that was cupping her face. She nodded even though she couldn't help but still feeling angry with Yamori.

"Do you want to take a bath?" Rize asked, changing the topic.

"Mm."

"Together?"

Kaneki lowly chuckled, "Alright."

Rize gave a quick peck on the man's nose. "Fantastic," She said before she moved away from on top of her lover. "I'm going to prepare it. Why don't you make us some coffee? Your turn this time." She said with a wink then going away to the bathroom.

Kaneki slowly sat up after he watched her walking away. His feet touched the cold marble floor. The contact sent shivers down his spine. His eyes were looking at his own black nailed toes, long enough before he stood up.

"What should you take from me... huh?"

His lips formed a thin line. His white bangs shaded his eyes. Even though Rize was there, she wouldn't be able to figure out what conflicted feelings were inside the man's heart.

Feeling like he wasn't like himself, Kaneki groaned. He ruffled his hair out of morning habit, but this time he did it because he wanted to wash away his uneasiness. The man stood up and walked to the kitchen. He opened the cabinet, taking out a bag of toraja coffee beans and put it on the counter. Next, he prepared the coffee grinder.

Kaneki poured down the beans into the grinder. He closed the lid, then he began to spin the pedal. The sound of the beans breaking inside sounded harmonious in his ears. He loved it. He also could smell that fresh fragrance already.

When the beans had turned into powder, Kaneki poured them into the coffee maker. He used his usual settings then the rest, he just needed to prepare the cups. As usual, he picked his favorite black cup and Rize's favorite red cup.

Kaneki sighed. He only needed to wait for 3 minutes now. Rize probably would've finished preparing the bath by then. He leaned his hips on the edge of the counter, turning his gaze onto the vast window.

"...4 months-no, 3 months," Kaneki muttered, "...No, maybe 5 months?" He paused, "...It's better to just talk about this in the meeting."

Kaneki looked over to the alleyway that lead to the front door. The bathroom was there. He waited for Rize to came out, calling him to get in. Seeing no sign she hadn't come back, Kaneki walked away from the kitchen, leaving the coffee maker to do its work.

He grabbed the phone that he left on the coffee table in the living room the night before. The phone which had his old number that Akira knew to call him. Rize was already asleep that night, stains from coffee cups were still visible on the table. Both of them didn't bother to clean up. But Kaneki just thought those stains disturbed him, it wasn't a pleasant sight to see. So he took a wet tissue and wiped it off before he opened his phone.

"No new messages nor calls. Interesting." He chuckled lowly. Well, he'd be lying if he didn't feel safe. If the man he encountered knew his identity right away, it would be problematic for him. "Haha, but he probably will. They probably will call me."

Suddenly, Kaneki heard his name was called. "Kaneki, it's ready!"

Kaneki put his phone back on top of the table. He turned away and headed to where she called him. Kaneki intended to relax for a whole day. Next meeting would be held on Sunday. He'd spend his precious free time by then.

When Kaneki entered the bathroom, he saw Rize was beginning to take off her tank top. It revealed her flawless skin and her bare breasts.

When the cloth was finally over her head as her hair fell glamorously to her back, Rize saw Kaneki was standing behind her not too far away from the mirror. She only smiled. She continued to strip herself by pulling down the last piece of fabric that hid her most vital spot. Throwing it away wherever it landed, she sat on the edge of the bathtub, lifting her leg over the other, fully naked.

Seeing that made Kaneki couldn't help but laughed before he also pulled off his t-shirt. It was just his way to feel at ease and comfortable. It wasn't like he laughed over her beautiful body. Every men in these world would kill to have her and fuck her. But, only if they didn't know that she was an insane ghoul with bottomless pit in her stomach.

After Kaneki had already pulled down his shorts, he approached the bathtub to get inside the bubbly warm water.

"Get in first." Rize said.

Kaneki did as he was ordered. He lifted up his right leg first, making the first dip of the warm water. It felt really good the moment the water covered his shin. Wanting that comfort more, he lifted up the other leg and positioned himself to sit on the tub. His back leaning against the back part.

Rize giggled excitedly. She proceeded to enter the tub. She positioned herself between Kaneki's legs then finally sat as her back leaned against her lover's strong chest.

"Hhhh... this feels great." She sighed in full bliss.

Kaneki poured some water on her hair. The warm liquid that wetted her silky hair sent shudder behind her spine. It really felt so good. She felt like only by doing this, with her boyfriend, that she could relax and feel safe.

"How was that?" Asked the white head.

"It's good. Thanks." Rize smiled as she closed her eyes.

Knowing that he did a good job, he continued to wet her fair shoulder and neck. He didn't forget to lean his head down to give butterfly kisses on top of her skin. Rize gave the water some green tea aromatherapeutic bubble soap. It was relaxing and they both love the smell. It was as if all of the fatigue they both had yesterday washed away.

"Want me to turn on the music?" Kaneki offered.

"Imagined Herbal Flows."

Kaneki nodded. He reached out to a remote that he always put beside the tub, "We have the same mind." He said before pressing the power button. The mp3 player was put on top of the counter, besides the sink.

Once the melody tuned in, the bliss multipled by a hundred times. The first one who softly nudged their ears was 'Departure'. Coincidentally they both sighed in pleasure.

"Hey, Rize."

"Mm?"

"It just crossed my mind," Kaneki looked up to the ceiling, "Back then, after we escaped from the 4th ward, what if we just lived our life normally? Blending with the humans. Faking our death. Didn't even-"

"Why are you saying this, darling?" Rize cut. She didn't turn her face around, her tone also didn't seem to be displeased.

"I don't know, I just, you know, thinking of many other possibilities," Kaneki paused, "...What if we don't have any of this luxury. I don't have Onikisu. Whatever that we have now are just dreams, and I've never thought about revenge. Would you..." Kaneki looked down back. His grey eyes were focused on the back of Rize's head. Secretly his face was hurt, wondering any other bad possibilities that could've happened, but at the same time, any situations that could make his life less Somehow wanting to show his affection, Kaneki wrapped his arms around his lover's waist and leaned his forehead on the nape of her neck, "Would you still be here in my arms, Rize?"

Rize didn't reply right away. Unknown to the man who hugged her, her violet windows were widened. She had never thought about hearing his doubts. She could swear, this was the first time she ever heard the strong man telling her this. However, it didn't take that long for her to get her resolve.

"Of course I would," Rize used her hand to cupped the man's face, her own turned to look at him, "You were the one who saved me. I'm repaying my debt. And also, I do love you. I really do." She said sincerely.

Kaneki bit his lips. He didn't dare to look at her in the eyes. He felt like it was embarrassing for him to look like this, doubting, confused.

"Hey, listen to me." Rize wanted her man to listen even though her mouth was just inches away from his ear, but she didn't want to force him to look at her, "Remember when you were my only friend? Remember when we would always talk everyday behind that glass that had always separated us? Remember when we would always talk about our favorite books? Do you?"

Kaneki silently nodded.

The violet head continued, "I was supposed to die, Ken. They didn't need me anymore. Yet... Yet you..." Rize bit her lower lip. The thing that she would say after this somehow made her feelings went complex. It was a mixture of glad, happy, so happy that she could possibly cry. But Rize was not a crybaby. She's not a woman that could easily cry over something so sentimental. "Yet you told them what you wished for. You used your privilege. Of all the things you could've asked for, you wanted them to spare me. You wanted them to keep me alive. You even FED me, Ken..."

Kaneki shook his head, his chin rubbed on the Rize's shoulder which slightly comforting both of them.

"I had to. I didn't want you to die." Kaneki finally shifted his eyes toward Rize, giving her his frown, "If I didn't you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be in my arms like this," Kaneki brought up his black nailed hand to hold the hand that cupped his cheek, "When I saw you back then... I was scared. Seeing a ghoul for the first time, I was scared of you. Behind that glass, you were insane. You were ravenous. You wailed and wailed... You couldn't see anything. Even though I was scared, but you were... you were so pitiful that I wanted to save you..."

Seeing his painful expression, Rize frowned. She also didn't like it. She didn't like to see him in pain. She didn't like to see him sad. Who the hell cares if she, The Binge Eater, was getting pitied. At least, someone cared for her. Her man was her benefactor. Her savior.

However, what saddened her the most wasn't that. He was the one who had suffered the most pain. The one who had endured everything for 4 years. Despite all of that, he still had the care for her which not everyone in this world has it. He still spared the time to speak with her, to tell her stories, to even feed her with his own flesh. Then how could his face that he showed to her right now carried so much burden?

"Kaneki," Rize paused. Her violet orbs pierced through the onyx ones, showing her sincerity and love, "You are a good man. My benefactor, my savior. Never once in my life I would ever think of needing someone's help. That I would live along with someone, making friends, becoming a part of something big, even truly loving someone. I believed that I was strong. I believed that I could take care of myself. But I was wrong." Rize smiled bitterly, "They caught me. I was cocky, arrogant. Then that's when everything changed, when you came..." Her eyes didn't frown this time. Her usually wicked smile got brighter, and her thumb softly circled against the white head's cheek, "Eventually I realized, I fell for you, Kaneki. Your kindness effected me."

"Rize..." He muttered her sweet name. What she said, it astounded him. It really touched his heart, he felt her careness. Her love. And right at that moment Kaneki couldn't imagine how he would be without his goddess' presence in his life.

"So, even if we don't do any revenge and just continue with our lives, I'd always stay beside you, Kaneki."

The already close proximity between their faces made it easy for her to lean it to kiss her man. She gave him a tender one, pouring all of her feelings in that kiss. If words could not express her love, then she hoped that kiss would sufficed.

Kaneki trembled over that sweet contact. The way Rize comforted him, telling him that nothing between them would ever change, it really made him glad. He felt her love from her supple lips, her care, her passion. Kaneki closed his eyes, surrendering to the bliss. He removed his hand that was holding her cupping hand to cup her own cheek, bringing her closer for a deeper kiss. His kiss was desperate, longing, as if he hadn't touched her for so damn long. He wanted to feel more of her love and cherish her in the same way she did for him.

Rize pulled away first, breathing for air. She rested her forehead on Kaneki's. Her eyes were still closed, feeling the sensation of the lingering soft lips on hers. She slowly opened those violet windows again, and she was glad. She saw that rare soft smile of his that could only be given for her.

"Thank you, Rize," Kaneki said, "What could I possibly do without you?"

Rize chuckled, "I don't know. Staying virgin forever?" She grinned naughtily.

Kaneki's eyebrows twitched. Cracking a joke at a time like this? What a way to ruined the moment. But well... it's better than staying too serious for too long. She's surprisingly good at breaking the ice.

"Whatever. I'll wash your hair. Lean forward, please." Kaneki said faking his anger.

"Aww don't get mad, darling. I was joking~" Said Rize. Clearly she wasn't feeling sorry. Suddenly, she yelped. She felt a bite on her right ear and she quickly blushed.

Kaneki leaned in his mouth closer towards her earlobe, and whispered with his husky voice. "I'll punish you for that," His hand slowly trailed over her inner thigh under the water. He could feel his partner tremble under his touch, "I bet you've already wanting me since I whisper this close, haven't you?"

Rize bit her lips. He was true. Her pride told her to say no, and there's no way she would just honestly say yes. "Of course not. It takes you more than this to-AH!"

Rize suddenly felt two of his long fingers inside of her. It was too sudden, and she wasn't prepared.

"H-hah...!" Rize leaned her back on Kaneki's hard chest, her hand holding on his upper arm.

"More?" Kaneki sunk his teeth on top of Rize's shoulder. Hard enough to let her ghoul blood sipped between his teeth, "More than this?" His fingers pumped harder and deeper inside Rize as he licked her neck fully teasing her.

The woman moaned louder. She tightly closed her eyes shut. The pleasure was too overwhelming, and unconsciously she rocked her own hip.

"F-faster..." She voiced out her desire.

But Kaneki only gave her his smirk, "What nerves. You just underestimated me and now you want it more?"

Rize's flushed face couldn't hide her lust. Actually, she did plan to have sex in here. However, when Kaneki said the sad things that his heart had been keeping inside, her desire completely ceased out. And now that backfired her. He started this first.

"I-I... I'm gonna..."

The moment she almost reached her climax, cruelly, Kaneki pulled out his fingers.

Rize abruptly opened her eyes. She looked up towards her man, and she couldn't help but feel awfully disappointed, "K-Kaneki!"

Kaneki acted non-chalantly. He just closed his eyes, focusing his ears onto the soothing melody that was still playing.

"Your punishment, baby." He said while smirking.

Rize gasped, "Did you just call me 'baby'?"

"Why? I called you that once before."

"And I can't even remember when it was..." Rize said grudgingly.

"Hahaha, sorry. I prefer to call you by your name. It's way better," Kaneki said as he patted her crown, "Ah, I wanted to wash your hair didn't I? I forgot." He pumped twice on the shampoo bottle, "Lean forward now."

"Hmph." Even though she was still mad with his 'punishment' before, Rize still conformed to what he said. She leaned forward, letting Kaneki washed her silky hair and massaging it.

Knowing that the woman in front of her was still pissed, Kaneki leaned his mouth closer to her again, teasing her with his voice.

"I'll make it up to you later." He whispered.

That startled Rize so much, but she didn't turn her head back. secretly she blushed. The Binge Eater couldn't reply anything but nodding her head.

Kaneki chuckled. He continued to massage her head and let the soothing melody sinked in between them again.

The Gourmet was in the midst of reading a book. A quite thick one with a really nice designed cover. He was alone inside the study room, surrounded by big shelves of books.

"Be not the slave of your own past - plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with new self-respect, with new power, and with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old." Tsukiyama voiced out a quote from that book.

He thought that quote was well made. The character who said that quote happened to be his favorite. It was the wise, caring, yet strict person type. However, it was close to be a hypocrite.

The Gourmet ended his daily reading activity there. He closed the book with a dramatic motion, making a loud thud from the clash of thick papers.

"What a day to relax. Perfection." He said to himself. The Gourmet looked at the window behind him. It was showing the vast garden of roses. His maids and butlers were tending that garden delicately, knowing that the roses are their master's precious things.

Suddenly, he heard someone was knocking at his wooden door.

"Come in."

The door creaked open over his permission. It revealed the figure of a charismatic old man with glasses. Tsukiyama blinked his eyes, confused by the visit of his father, Mirumo Tsukiyama, that was supposed to be busy in his own work room. But nevermind that, Tsukiyama was still delighted to see him.

"Dad, good morning." He greeted knowing that he hadn't said that this morning.

His father closed the door behind him first before he responded. "Good morning, Shuu. How are you feeling?"

"I feel refreshed, merci!"

His father went upon a certain shelf. It was where the management and business books were stored. He gazed upon those books that he probably had already read since he was still in reign as the director.

"How was Mukade's raid last night, Shuu? We haven't talked about it." The aged man started. Shuu didn't know it but Mirumo was actually very worried last night, fearing that his son wouldn't come home again.

"It was good. We were almost in a pinch because of Jason but everything went well in the end."

"I see. That's good." His father paused. "It's been awhile since the last time I met your leader. How is he?"

Tsukiyama smiled, "He's doing well. He actually joined the raid from the start for the first time. He really helped a lot."

"Oh? Is it about time?"

"Yes. There are only 4 more bases that needs to be destroyed, so this will end soon."

Mirumo nodded, "I see. That's good news then. Anyway," He turned back away from the shelf, approaching his son closer to his table, "It seems like things will get even easier for you. I wanted to tell you that Kanae's coming back from German, Shuu."

Tsukiyama's face quickly lit up. He stood up from his chair, looking really excited, "Really!? When is he going to arrive, dad?"

"Soon. He took the night flight and just arrived at the airport an hour ago."

"I see. That's grea-"

Suddenly, both father and son heard someone knocked on the door. Tsukiyama gave the permission to come in, and his most trusted maid, Matsumae, walked inside.

"Good morning, Master Shuu. Kanae is here to see you."

The said man proceeded from her behind, holding a bouquet of blue roses.

"I'm back, Master Shuu. Güten Morgen." Kanae greeted as soon as he entered the room. He was happy to see his mater was healthy and well. "Here is a Blumenstrauß for you as my gift."

"Oh my, that's really beautiful! Welcome back, Kanae." Tsukiyama greeted back. His eyes shifted to Matsumae who had been standing idly behind Kanae's back, "Please give the bouquet a new vase, Matsumae. Put it in my room."

"Yes, Master Shuu." The maid bowed.

Kanae gave the bouquet to the head maid of the Tsukiyama mansion. He told her to give the bouquet the most beautiful one they had before she proceeded out of the room.

"Welcome back, Kanae. How was the negotiation?" Mirumo asked his son's aide.

Kanae bowed deeply to the head of the Tsukiyama family before he answered. His respect to that aged man in front of him knows no bound, just like his love and respect to his son.

"It was great, sir. It went smoothly. I succeeded to get the investor to invest with us. We can build a branch in German next year." He said proudly.

"Great job," Tsukiyama praised. "You really are my best aide. I've missed you a lot. If only I had you at my side on last night's raid, it'd surely went faster."

Kanae bowed his head again, "I'm not worthy of your praise. But, thank you very much, Master Shuu."

Mirumo cleared his throat to gain the two young men's attention, "I guess I'll leave you both now. Shuu, Kanae."

"Oh, of course. Merci, papa."

"Have a good day, Master Mirumo." Kanae bowed deeply until the head master closed the door again.

Finally the two purple heads had gained their privacy. Kanae was already anticipating the actual question that his master wanted to ask him. Kanae was more than ready to answer.

"So, Kanae... Did you find him?" Tsukiyama started. He was smiling, yet Kanae knew he the Gourmet was serious.

"Ja, I did. Akihiro Kanou, he is living in German"

Tsukiyama squinted his eyes. He needed to know more about this. He wanted to give this information to his leader. Actually, he wanted more praise, but it was more into helping him that mattered.

"Tell me everything." The Gourmet ordered.

Kanae nodded. He walked closer towards the table, then his hand went inside of the pocket in his refined blazer. He brought out 6 candid photos of the searched man. He displayed them all on the table and pointed on the first photo on the left.

"Here. I first saw him going out from a bookstore near my hotel," Kanae said, "It was very hard to know where his whereabout but fortunately, our investor happened to know this man." He smirked proudly.

"Oh my Goodness... Are you serious?" Asked Tsukiyama in disbelief. That just made everything easier. "I was surprised too. I tried asking him about this man after I've finished the negotiation. I thought he wouldn't know but, he does." Kanae pointed his finger to a photo that shown a hospital building, "Akihiro Kanou is a surgeon in Department of Orthopaedic Sports Medicine, Klinikum rechts der Isar. It's a hospital that specializes in treating professional athletes. This includes the treatment of football players, skiers, golf and tennis players from all over the world."

"How long has he been there?"

"Around 4 years 5 months."

Tsukiyama's eyes shifted to a photo that caught his interest. Kanou was seen walking along with a man that was shorter than him. His face weren't visible. He was wearing a long coat, a hat, and a mouth mask.

"Who is he with? Who is this man?"

"I'm sorry but I don't know. I managed to take a picture of them but it suddenly rained back then so I ran inside. They both gone after I tried to search for them again." Kanae said disappointedly.

"I see..." Tsukiyama nodded. The 6 photos would surely be enough to please Kaneki. He needed these. "Great job, Kanae. Thank you so much."

Kanae bowed, "It was nothing, Master Shuu. Your wish is my command." Kanae paused. He was thinking whether or not he asked his master what was the reason behind this. He was only ordered to find out about Kanou, but he didn't know why and who is that man. However, it was better asking and rejected rather than not trying at all. After all, he did a great job. "May I ask... who is this human? Do you know him, Master Shuu?"

Tsukiyama stared at his aide for a moment. He already saw this coming.

"I'm sorry Kanae, I can't tell you," Tsukiyama smiled bitterly, "I can only thank you for accepting my selfish request."

"N-not at all... Please don't apologize! It's my job and an honour to do abide at all of your tasks. I'm very sorry for being nosy!" Kanae bowed deeply to apologize.

"It's alright, Kanae. It's normal to be curious. But I can't tell you so... Please understand."

Kanae raised his head, "I understand." He nodded. It was about time for him to change the topic. "By the way, how was Miza assisting you? Was she helpful enough?" Asked the aide. If by any chance Miza, who he trusted to take care of his master with the raid from last night wasn't able to refrain him from doing any rash action, he would never trust her again for replacing his position as the vice-leader of Tsukiyama's squad.

"Oh yes, she really was!" Tsukiyama replied enthusiastically, "She took care of the team when I told her to. She led them to the highest floor to destroy the main control room. Miza did her job very well."

Kanae felt relieved. It seemed like picking Miza as his substitute for awhile was the right choice. Nevertheless, he wouldn't let her take his place for a long time. To be honest, Kanae wanted to go home fast and be by his master's side once again. The only one who could be his right-hand man in Mukade was him.

"Well, anyway," Tsukiyama picked up his cellphone, "I have to call Kaneki." He said, implying for Kanae to leave.

"I understand. I'll see you later, Master Shuu." Kanae bowed before he left the study room, leaving Tsukiyama alone with his privacy.

His thumb pressed '3' as an instant access to his leader's number. He waited for the receiver to picked up, but he was answered with the annoying human opperator's voice.

"Maybe he's taking a bath?"

The Gourmet decided to use text. Kaneki would surely read it later.

"...And sent! Bravo, Tsukiyama Shuu." His confidence made Tsukiyama praised himself. He couldn't wait to hear Kaneki's response.

"One more time."

"Hyah!"

"That's not enough! Stronger! Faster!"

"Hraaah!"

"Good. Again, Zen."

"Yes, sir!"

It had been two hours since Zen visited his new combat teacher, Banjou, who lived in ward 11. The young man who lived in ward 13 wouldn't mind to go back and forth here every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to train. His new boss was kind enough to teach him how to get stronger and be useful.

They were training on an empty lot which was near Banjou's house. No one really passed that lot. Even if there was, it'd surely be ghoul and even a member. The whole ward 11 was under Mukade's territory. It's a safe place for ghouls to live there. It contained 2/3 of the ghoul population, and all of them were Mukade's members.

"Banjou-san."

"What is it?"

"I'm really curious." Zen paused as he swiped away his sweat, "Uta-san said something back then when we both were inside his studio, after you went to the meeting."

"D-did he say something bad about me!?" Banjou suddenly got flustered. He didn't remember sharing any of his stigma with the artist.

"N-no! He didn't! He said something about um... How different you were four years ago... and uh, you owe something to our leader..."

"Oh..."

His mentor's tone somehow turned shallow. Now Zen felt nervous. He shouldn't have said that. However, Zen really was curious to know the secret behind Banjou's strength and the will that drove him to this point.

"I-if you don't wanna talk about it then it's fine." Zen said before anything went bad.

Banjou shook his head. He flashed on his wide smile to let his junior know that he weren't upset or anything. "Nah, it's okay. It's not like it's a bad memory or anything. I'll tell you, to keep you inspired!" Banjou paused. He recollected his memories from 4 years ago, when he first met the leader. "I owe him, for saving Rize-san and ward 11."

"Saving Rize-san... and ward 11?"

Banjou nodded.

"Ward 11 was under my control 5 years ago."

"...Huh!? You were!?"

Banjou laughed, "Unbelievable isn't it? But it's true! I was the leader of this ward and couldn't even fight."

"T-then... You met Kaneki-san here, in this ward?"

"Yeah. He came here, along with Rize-san and Yamori. You have no idea just how shocked I was when I saw those long violet hair and red glasses again..." Banjou smiled bitterly, "10 years ago, Rize-san was missing for 5 years. Nobody knows what happened to her. She was just... gone. No more The Binge Eater."

"Missing for 5 years... I've never really encountered her before but there was a time when everything seemed quite..." Zen recalled around those times. It's true. The feeding ground back then seemed more open.

"Before she was missing, Rize-san lived here. Not like she mingled with the others, she just found it decent and save to live here. Then Kaneki-san came here 5 years ago with her and Yamori, I couldn't trust him at all. Rize-san was missing yet she came back with a happy face with a one eyed ghoul and even Yamori. What if those two were the ones who had been keeping her away?"

"Why would they be?"

"Rize-san is a strong, independent ghoul, Zen. She would never make friends. She hunts alone and never shares," Banjou tighten his fist, "I love her... I adore her so much." He intended to mutter, but the words just came out like no control.

"You... You love her?" Even though Banjou couldn't see it, he could tell Zen was giving him a concern look.

The beefy ghoul scratched the back of his head and grinned sheepishly, "Ahaha, yeah, I actually do. Don't tell anyone though. Only you, Uta, Ichimi, Jiro, and Sante know about this." Banjou sighed before he continued, "So yeah, that's why I was angry when I saw her again after such a long time but came back with an unknown man. On top of that, a one-eyed, which we all had never seen before."

"Then... how about him saving ward 11?"

"That happened after he came to this ward. Ward 11 is the haven of ghouls. This place is populated by ghouls only, all of us live here peacefully. Well, that peace didn't last long," Banjou paused, "CCG found out about the fact that the ghouls here were... weak. No single rated ghoul lived here. Most lived in ward 20, ward 7, ward 13... This place was more like the haven of weak ghouls. I couldn't do anything to protect the others." Banjou sighed, remembering that embarrassing moment, "And Kaneki-san took the advantage of that. He would protect us from the CCG, but in return, he would make this place as Mukade's secret base. In other words, he would become the leader of this ward."

Zen who had been listening the whole time still couldn't find any words to comment. However, he knew that sounded evil enough.

Banjou continued, "I didn't have any choice. That was the only way so everyone could be saved. They did it in the end and... I owe him for that. Rize-san told me about him after that, he was saving her. She didn't give any details but I believe her. That made me... owe him twice." Banjou chuckled stupidly. He couldn't believe the twist if event that happened in his past. But it wasn't like he regretted it.

"And then?"

"Well yeah, Kaneki-san told me about his grand retaliation to fight CCG. He wanted my cooperation. So, I repaid him by becoming one of his members." Banjou shrugged his shoulders, "The way he fights also astounds me. I wanted to be strong like him. I trained like a madman, until one day he recognized my strength and I became one of the lead members. I want to be useful, even until now." The Hawk lifted his head up and showed off his wide grin and pride, "Because Kaneki-san is actually a good man."

Zen gave a skeptical look. A good man? Kaneki Ken was surely not a man who looked like one. That one piercing visible eye could really stab your brain just by staring back at it. They way he talked and stood only conveyed charisma and fear. However, maybe that'd be true only to someone who knew about that man the best.

"I need to see just how kind he is to believe that, Banjou-san. The moment I joined this group, I already know that I'm definitely a villain and an anarchist."

"Oh, hell no you're not! We're all fighting for our own sake, for our kind. We fight back, in a group. With the others nobody can stop us. Seriously, be proud you're a Mukade."

Zen smiled even though his eyebrows were creased upward. He would like to believe that too. He would like to believe that they were doing the right thing. He would like to believe... that he would make his sister happy.

"Yeah. I'm sorry," Zen released his black wings once again, his almond eyes turned ruby, and he was ready to break some more sweat under the sun that peaked at its highest, "Let's continue, sir."

Banjou grinned, "Here I come."

A/N: I'M A HORRIBLE WRITER FOR BEING LAZY OMG :'(( I'M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. HERE YOU GO!

It took me so long because I had to re-think about the past, the whole background of the story. I needed to change something and argh, I hope it'll turn out well...

THANK YOU FOR THE FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES. I APPRECIATE IT.

Ah, and check out Departure by Imagined Herbal Flows if you want to know what song that made Kaneki feels so sentimental =w=