Thank you all so much for your thoughtful comments and encouragement to continue this as is… here we go!
Inside Lena Luthor's luxurious penthouse apartment, the CEO is soaking in a hot bubble bath and chugging her favorite Malbec straight from the bottle. Staring vacantly at the ceiling, she listens to a mediation track playing over the state-of-the-art sound system. A soothing female voice is heard.
You are weightless, floating on a soft, white cloud in the sky…
Lena closes her eyes and replays her brunch with Kara Danvers on a loop in her mind. After dissecting each second several times over, she is extremely confident that the mysterious mustached man spiked her friend's custard. Instead of concentrating on that knowledge, she can't help but be aroused by the memories of post-custard Kara's sexy, brazen demeanor.
You empty all of your worries and fears into this cloud as your thoughts come together in tranquility…
She licks her lips as she remembers Kara's kiss, their tongues dueling for dominance in the middle of a public place. That kiss was everything and nothing like her dreams.
Embrace this tranquility, it is yours to explore, yours to own…
An imaginary Kara escapes Lena's mind and slithers around her in the tub. They continue their kiss from earlier. Lena bites her lower lip and moans as the blonde works every part of her body with her hands.
Open yourself up to receive goodness and warmth…
Lena's legs spread as imaginary Kara slides down her skin with her tongue and lands dead center between the brunette's hips. The Luthor knows something is not quite right but she is unable to resist. Kara peers up at Lena with a wicked grin, silently asking for permission to proceed.
"Yes, Kara, yes!"
Lower your resistance and let it penetrate you thoroughly…
The CEO's own fingers are a poor substitute for imaginary Kara but it still feels real. Her breathing becomes ragged as this secret, long-time fantasy could very well become reality by tonight.
Let it soak every part of your soul…
Lena lurches as her climax comes quickly. Her shriek is soft but it echoes across the marble walls of the bathroom. She slowly sinks down into the tub and dunks her head underwater.
It is now time to regulate your breathing…
After a few seconds, she blows out a breath in a blast of air bubbles that launches the smaller soap bubbles onto the floor. She reemerges and reaches over to a pack of cigarettes on the side of the tub. With teeth chattering and hands shaking, she pulls one out and lights it.
Inhale a deep, cleansing breath, hold it for a measured count, and then release it in a steady stream between your lips…
Lena takes a long drag off of a Djarum Black she hasn't touched in years and blows the smoke in the air. All the healthy kale and kombucha has gone down the drain as she erupts into a coughing fit and stamps out the butt in a crystal ashtray.
"Well, this was far from relaxing!"
The sound system is interrupted by a loud double chime, followed by a robotic male voice making an announcement.
Call from Chief Investigator Engeström…
"Accept call."
"Hello, Ms. Luthor."
"Good afternoon, chief, did you have any difficulties obtaining the security footage from the restaurant?"
"Your very generous contribution to the owner's new catering truck, along with the offer of a favorable review in CatCo's next publication was more than enough to seal the deal."
"Did you find the mustached man I described?"
"I believe so, but he was very adept at dodging all of the surveillance cameras, he knew exactly what he was doing."
"A professional?"
"It appears that way."
"Dammit."
"However, he forgot about the bank cameras across the street and how fortunate for you that L-Corp has several large business accounts there."
"You have his face?"
"Sending it to you now."
Lena grabs a remote by the tub and flips on a wall monitor. A very clear image of the mustached man running down an alley is displayed. She zooms in on the face and it is indeed the same man who brought over the custard.
"Excellent work, chief, do we know who he is?"
"I ran him through several databases and he is a Luthor employee."
"Which department?"
"Here's the thing, he doesn't work at L-Corp."
"But, you said…"
"He works for Lillian Luthor."
Lena screams silently to herself as she slaps the bathwater with her hand.
"Thank you, Mr. Engeström, please email me all of the details… end call!"
The brunette now grabs the wine bottle and hurls it against the wall. It shatters all over the floor.
"Of course this has my mother's stench on it, how could I be so naive?"
She scrambles out of the tub and pulls on her gray, silk robe.
"I need to warn Kara that she's in danger… OWWWW, CHRIST."
Lena accidentally slips on the red wine, steps on several small shards, and hops around on one foot.
"Why, why, why must my mother ruin everything good in my life, WHY?"
With a tiny trail of blood following her with each footstep to her bedroom, she finds her phone and calls Kara. It goes straight to voicemail.
"Kara, when you get this message, please come over right away, I'm texting you my address!"
Lena now delicately cleans her foot and bandages it up in a haphazard manner. She decides to call Dr. Singh in the lab.
"Any results for me yet, doctor?"
"Ms. Luthor, you do realize that the toxicology results could take weeks and all the money and manpower in the world will not change that."
"I only need your preliminary findings."
"As of now, I have found no narcotics whatsoever in either sample."
"Wait, that's impossible!"
"I apologize, let me clarify, not human drugs."
"I don't understand?"
"So far, 'Sample L' is clear but you were right to be suspicious about 'Sample K'… and it is ironic that you would use 'K' to mark it."
"Special K… an animal tranquilizer, what the hell was my mother thinking?"
"No, not Ketamine… and I sent my findings over to a trusted colleague at the university to confirm my theory."
"Tell me!"
"The anomaly we discovered is Red Kryptonite, or simply Red K, something that only affects Kryptonians, it was a trace amount, nothing dangerous, but enough for Supergirl or Superman to be impacted."
There is dead silence on the other end of the phone.
"Ms. Luthor… hello, Ms. Luthor, are you still there… Ms. Luthor?"
Down in the basement of the DEO, Supergirl locks a Level 5 security door behind her and wipes her hands together with a flourish. She begins to whistle a happy tune as she jogs up the stairs. Waiting for her at the top is Agent Alex Danvers who observes her with a curious expression.
"Kara?"
"Hey, Sis, I finished moving the Orbitrons and cleaned out all of the Yazz cages."
"I know… you hate cleaning out the Yazz cages, what's up?"
"Um, I was only trying to be helpful, I have a few hours to kill and I thought I could put them to good use here, obviously, that was a mistake."
"Whoa, hey, slow down, I appreciate your help, really, don't be so defensive!"
"It's my job to be defensive."
"Not with your sister."
"Adopted sister."
"Okay, now I know something is up with you… what's going on?"
"Why does anything have to be going on, can't I whistle a show tune or two without putting the DEO on high alert?"
"We're not on high alert."
"Good, because I might break out into a tap-dance number."
"Do that and I will break out my Uzi."
"Oh, Alex, you and your big guns… live the stereotype, Sis!"
"What has gotten into you?"
"Nothing, yet, but ask me again after 9:00 tonight."
"What's happening tonight?"
"I've got a hot date!"
"Wow, that's fantastic, I didn't even know you were seeing anyone, who is he?"
"She… is my lady boss and I can't wait to bend her over her desk."
"Lena Luthor, you're seriously going out tonight with Lena Luthor?"
"Yep, totally, seriously, honestly, affirmative."
"Didn't you just have brunch with her this morning?"
"Number 57."
"What?"
"That's how many times I have gone out on a non-date date with her only to be left high and dry… but tonight, I'm getting low and wet."
"I… I had no idea you two felt this way about each other."
"Don't lie, everyone sees it."
"Okay, maybe I do see it but I think everything is gay now because of my rainbow-colored glasses."
"Wear some suspenders and hiking boots to complete the look."
"Isn't this going to change your BFF status with Lena?"
"No, we will finally be fulfilling it… Bed Fucking Fiends!"
Alex clears her throat and rolls her neck to stretch it. Kara continues.
"And, hopefully, we'll be FFFs, TFFs, and WFFs as well."
"I'm afraid to ask…"
"Floor Fucking Fiends, Table Fucking Fiends, and Wall Fucking Fiends."
"Got it, don't need anymore examples."
Kara checks her phone and listens to the message from Lena.
"Ooh, she wants me to come over right now, she wants it… right now."
Kara straddles the metal railing and performs a raunchy pole-dancing number on it.
"Weeeeee, Lena can't wait to forge my steel!"
An aghast Alex pulls her sister down off of the railing and boxes her ears.
"Gross, Kara, stop doing that!"
"You're right, I need to save my moves for later."
"No… no moves like that, ever."
"Ah, that's the real reason Maggie left you, and you were trying to kid us all with this whole 'I wanna kid' bit."
Alex is now seething.
"This has nothing to do with Maggie and everything to do with you humping a railing in the DEO, now, knock it the hell off!"
"I get it, I get it, everyone is still on edge with the whole workplace harassment thing."
"Those moves would even disgust a Daxamite."
"I know, where do you think I learned them from?"
Kara's nose is running. She sniffs, and then blows her nose into her cape. Alex gasps and throws her hands up.
"Did… did my eyes just see what they saw?"
"That's what the cape is for."
"Use a tissue!"
"Look around you, there's nothing here but metal walls, people with guns, computers, and containment tanks… do you ever see any office supplies?"
Alex thinks for a moment as Kara snaps off her cape, balls it up, and throws it at her sister.
"The best thing about having you here is that you always clean up my messes."
The agent throws it back at Kara.
"Not this time."
Supergirl flings it back at full strength and knocks Alex across the floor with it.
"Yes, this time and every time, Sis!"
Alex gets up and yells. Both of them run at each other and start tussling on the floor. With arms folded and an exasperated look on his face, J'onn J'onzz steps over to them.
"HEY."
Both women immediately stop what they're doing and stand up.
"She started it!"
"It's her fault!"
"No, it's not!"
"Yes, it is!"
"That's enough, both of you, stop acting like children!"
Kara sticks her tongue out at Alex. Alex promptly steps on Kara's foot.
"You should know by now that doesn't hurt."
J'onn huffs and lowers his voice into a growl.
"Do I have to put you both in the Yazz cages?"
"I already cleaned them out, so… not really a threat."
"J'onn, Kara is acting weird."
"We're aliens, Alex, we do that from time to time."
"She wants to sleep with Lena Luthor."
Kara in an aside to Alex.
"Oh, please, you know you would hit that in a heartbeat… a slow, weak, human heartbeat."
Alex gets right in Kara's face.
"At least I'm not Taylor Swift wearing a burgundy beach towel around my neck."
Kara picks up Alex by the ankle and swings her above her head like a lasso.
"Look what you made me do!"
"J'onn, help!"
The Martian Manhunter sighs and uses his psychic powers to disable both women. Kara and Alex both crash to the floor and grab their heads.
"OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW."
"Okay, we're done, please stop!"
J'onn helps them to their feet and glowers.
"This is a place of business, we act like professionals around here."
Kara chuckles.
"Um, about that…"
J'onn holds his hand up to the blonde to keep her from talking.
"Enough, Kara, now there's a yacht full of entertainment executives sinking in the harbor, the Coast Guard has been called but I would prefer for Supergirl to save them, we need the positive publicity."
"Well, you better hope that Diet Navy gets there in time because it's a hard no from me."
"Kara!"
"Look, I have other things to do today…"
Kara glances playfully at Alex and then mounts the railing again.
"And I have prettier things to do tonight…"
Spittle is flying out of Alex's mouth as she charges her sister.
"So help me, Kara, if you do another pole dance, I'm gonna…"
"You're gonna do what… Alexandra… how do you think you can stop me, drown me in Tegan & Sara songs?"
J'onn holds Alex back as Kara quirks an eyebrow in thought.
"Oh, wait, sorry, that reference might be a little too young for you, Sis… drown me in Indigo Girls songs?"
"You, cocksucker!"
"Not after tonight."
"Stand down, Agent Danvers, and, Supergirl, get a hold of yourself, that's an order!"
Kara spins around and grabs her crotch ala Michael Jackson. J'onn covers her mouth before she can whoop. He scolds both of them at the top of his lungs.
"There are people in grave danger, don't either one of you care?"
Alex shrugs her shoulders as Kara scoffs.
"A bunch of Hollywood sleaze, nah, I don't give a flying fuck and not many others will, either…"
Kara breaks out into song and dance.
Guess those losers are out of luck
Cuz I don't give a flying fuck
Even if you say, 'You suck!'
I don't give a flying fuck
Go ask Winn or go ask Chuck
Cuz I don't give a flying fuck…
An unamused J'onn storms off while Alex stares at her sister in baffled silence. Kara checks her text message from Lena.
"Heh, she finally sent me her home address, Rao, woman, rest up for tonight… I told her nine and she is going to have to wait for nine, not now, not six, not 8:59, nine!"
"I still can't believe this is even happening but please be careful and protect yourself… God only knows where a Luthor has been."
"Uh, she is going to have to protect herself from all of this savory alien goodness."
Alex cringes and then a light bulb goes off in her head. She grabs Kara's hand and licks it. The blonde recoils.
"WHOA, SIS, I know we're not blood and all but I'm not into you like that… however, we could ask Lena if she wants a Danvers sandwich, I've got first dibs, you get sloppy seconds."
"Pumpernickel!"
"That sounds like a dirty 5th dimensional imp."
"Did you eat any pumpernickel today at all?"
"No, I got some dried-up blueberry pancake ball where they slapped a Danish name on it and charged an extra ten bucks."
"Last time when you were on Red K, you emitted a pumpernickel scent and taste."
"Okay, I can understand the scent part but do I really want to know how you found out about the taste?"
"It was in the name of science."
"Sure, Sis."
"The bigger thing here is that you're on Red K again."
"It doesn't feel as strong as it did the last time."
"It would explain your bad behavior and your peculiar need to sleep with Lena."
"First of all, there will absolutely be no sleeping when we get together later, and, more importantly, the desire to be with her is all mine, the Red K only provided the guts to ask for what I wanted… otherwise, poor boring Kara would be going on brunch number 58 next week."
"Where did the Red K come from?"
"Not a clue, but I felt it happen halfway through our meal."
"Do you think Lena is behind this?"
"I sure hope so, Supergirl's greatest strength is punishing villains."
Kara winks and makes a mock spanking motion. Alex rubs her forehead and sighs.
"I have to say… it's been a while since I've seen you this lighthearted, I'm happy for you."
"I know, all my downer shit over Mon-El, sorry about that… but, now you are paying me back in spades with the self-inflicted Maggie waterworks."
"I am warning you, do not go there."
"Oh, I am going there, I just put on my turn signal and I am speeding up."
"Kara…"
"I can't believe you muffed up your muff muffin because of the whole trope-tastic 'I want a baby' deal breaker, it's what some awful, heteronormative TV show would do when it lacks creativity."
"Kara…"
"Speaking of a lack of creativity, I think the reason I was hesitant about your relationship with Maggie at first was because it was such an utter cliché, I mean, my Rao, the hard-drinking, pool-playing, dive-bar loving, weaponry worshiping, motorcycle-riding, dull clothes wearing bit, it's like some stupid dude gave you a script with an embedded lesbian drinking game."
"Or, maybe it's my style?"
Kara pretends her phone is ringing and answers it.
"Hello, hey, yeah, I'll tell her, thanks, 'bye - Kristen Stewart called, she wants you to dial it back a notch."
"If this is more than some deluded, hormonal fling with Lena, we'll see what you two look like in a year's time."
"I'm guessing bald… from yanking each other's hair out during rough sex."
Alex covers her face and sighs. Kara hoists up her leg and points to her groin.
"My lovely Luthor lady is practically tripping over herself to get way up inside of this and I can guarantee you she won't be wearing plaid flannel tonight."
"And, that's her style."
Kara squints and uses her x-ray vision to search Alex's bosom.
"What are you doing?"
"Checking to see if you have rainbow flags suction-cupped to your tits."
"Fine, you want to talk about terrible tropes, let's talk about Mon-El."
"Let's not, I'm already sick to my stomach from earlier."
"Then, understand that not having a child is a deal breaker for me."
"Just do what straight women do, get knocked up, lie about it, and hope your boyfriend comes around."
Alex grits her teeth and scowls. It's Kara's turn for a light bulb to go off in her head.
"Oh, I see what you're missing, use Eliza's turkey baster… ooh, better yet, I think I finally found a purpose for James!"
"Please, don't drag him into this."
"Too late, the way I see it, James is like Aunt Julie's vase."
"The one she made dad for his birthday?"
"Yep, and it's still sitting on the living room shelf."
"I don't get the connection?"
"Every time you pass by it, you're like, 'oh, that's pretty,' and then never think of it again… that's James."
Alex goes to say something but stops because her sister is actually dead on about him. Kara continues.
"Remember our first Spice Girls concert and you came home all horny and got hammered on Jeremiah's not-so-hidden stash of hooch?"
Alex blanches as her face falls to the floor.
"What… what about it?"
"I seem to recall you admiring Aunt Julie's vase for a really long time that night."
"It… it was the perfect shape and I couldn't find my vibrator."
"That's because I hid all of your sex toys."
"Damn you, I thought mom found them and I couldn't look her in the eye for months."
"I have super hearing and we shared a bedroom, there is only so much I could take."
"Be honest, Kara, did you eat the sex toys, because there is nothing you wouldn't put in that yap of yours?"
"And, thanks to my Red K brunch, we can now add a Luthor tongue to that list."
"I forgot how horrible you are when you're like this."
"Yet, I am still the favorite Danvers daughter, no matter what."
"SCREW YOU, KARA."
Alex stomps away and then suddenly halts. Supergirl flips her hair back and mutters to herself.
"Here we go… yourchristmaspresentswerealwaysbetterthanmine."
Alex turns around and stomps back to Kara.
"YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS… WERE ALWAYS BETTER… THAN MINE."
"youforeverruineddisneyworldforme."
"AND… AND… YOU FOREVER… RUINED… DISNEYWORLD… FOR ME."
"therewereneveranysnacksinthehouse."
"YOU STOLE MY COLLEGE BOYFRIEND."
"Whoa, that's a new one!"
"He only got close to me because he wanted to date you, Kara."
"Who doesn't… and, besides, he realized you were driving in the other lane long before you did."
"That explains why he kept asking me if I read Willow & Tara fanfic."
"Anyway, back to my point about James."
James Olsen ambles in wearing his gym clothes and smile.
"Did I hear my name?"
"Right on cue, co-creator of my future niece or nephew!"
James looks at Kara and then to Alex.
"Huh?"
Kara in an aside to Alex.
"You will be the one to work on your offspring's vocabulary."
"Ignore her, James, Kara is not herself at the moment."
"Alex is right, I am a much better version of poor, boring Kara… I eat truth and vomit it up in your face, I deliver justice with free shipping and big red and blue bow, and as far as the American way goes, it's actually kind of icky right now, so let's go with the Canadian way."
James shakes his head.
"I don't get what's going on?"
Kara mock frowns and pats James on the shoulder.
"That's nothing new for you, big fella."
Alex chides her sister.
"Kara, stop embarrassing yourself!"
"Have you seen my costume?"
James takes a step back.
"Will someone explain why you two are acting so strange?"
Alex goes to say something but Kara covers her mouth.
"I told Alex that she needs to trick Maggie into coming back and you need to be the surprise baby daddy because you remind us of Aunt Julie's vase."
James questions Alex.
"She must be speaking Kryptonian, because none of that made any sense."
"If you think that doesn't make sense, wait until you hear her future plans with Lena."
Already disinterested in the exchange between Alex and James, Kara turns her attention to her itchy ear. She scratches it and then becomes highly fascinated with the glob of wax on her index finger. Alex is suddenly wide-eyed.
"Kara… no… don't do it… don't you dare eat that!"
Supergirl glances down at her finger, then to Alex, and then back to her finger. She taunts her sister by pretending to put it in her mouth, however, at the last second, smudges it into a shape on Alex's sleeve.
"It's the Kryptonian symbol for 'A'… it may mean Alex or something else that begins with that letter."
James separates the Danvers sisters.
"Wait, before this gets anymore crazy, I'm glad you brought up Lena because I have been wanting to ask you two something… do you think I should ask her out?"
Kara's eyes begin to glow red as Alex groans.
"Dude, you have the worst timing ever."
Kara's voice is now two octaves lower and slower.
"So, you want to date a woman you never really liked, still deeply distrust, and who is also your employer?"
"That sounds a lot worse than it is."
"You left out the part about being Clark's best friend and Lena being the sister of Clark's arch rival."
"Now, see, you've made it as bad as it could possibly be… but, I have a new appreciation for Lena."
"For her or her boobs?"
"C'mon, Kara."
"Man up and own it!"
"Okay, sure, those don't hurt, but some say our chemistry is like Hepburn and Tracy…"
The sound of crickets is heard as Kara quizzically looks to Alex and then back at James.
"Someone must have been langered on Bushmills when that gem shat out of their hole and no one here is old enough to get that reference, grandpa, you might as well have said Berthold IV and Agnes of Rochlitz."
"You know who they are because you love old movies, Kara."
"Poor, boring Kara does but what she failed to admit to you all is that Kryptonian vision goes bonkers with black and white films, so it's basically one big acid trip but with less colors and more distortion."
James turns to Alex.
"Is that's what's going on here, is Kara loaded?"
Alex turns to Kara.
"See, he's not so dumb."
Kara turns to James.
"You are five cans short of a six-pack if you think I'm going to let you anywhere near Lena!"
James proudly holds up his shirt and displays his abdomen.
"Actually, Kara, I have an eight-pack."
Both Danvers sisters are impressed and applaud. Kara now sidles up to James and snarls in his ear.
"Let me put it to you another way, if you touch Lena Luthor, so help me Rao, I will shove your camera so far up your finely toned ass that you will be taking pictures of your stomach lining every time you sneeze… hands off, she's mine!"
"What the hell?"
"Before you pull out that well-worn race card, it has nothing to do if you're black, brown, white, green, or sky-blue pink, you're just motherfucking boring, even more than Alex, if that's possible."
James is now livid and looking to Alex for help. She hangs her head in defeat as her sister adds insult to injury by doing cheerleading moves.
You're motherfucking boring
And all the girls be snoring
It doesn't matter what you do
Your lion won't be roaring!
Before Kara can whoop, Alex covers her mouth with her hand. Kara wriggles away and finishes her thought.
"Seriously, Jimmy James, even if you added a ten-foot flame-throwing phallus to your Guardian gear, you're still boring!"
"Alex, you better do something with her before I do."
"Okay, that is enough, Kara, before you lose the two people who care for you the most."
"Hmm, which one of you bought me a $750,000,000 company again?"
They both say nothing as Kara continues.
"Look, it's nothing personal, James, go back to what you are good at, taking beautiful pictures and shacking up with Lucy Lane… I'll write her an apology letter for breaking you two up and you can give her one of my $200,000 orchids, I have five more back at the house."
"That's it, Kara, you're too obnoxious for anyone to handle, I am locking you down here in the DEO until the Red K wears off."
"Let me go, Alex, or I will whine and whine and whine about Mon-El for another six months, is that what you want, is that what anyone truly wants?"
Alex thinks for a second.
"Fine, go… whatever happens to Lena will be all on you!"
"Oh, yeah, she will!"
Kara emphatically sucks her middle finger, flips off her sister with it, and then waves goodbye to James. Alex watches her walk out of the DEO and then calls after her.
"Clark should have left you off in some Hub City foster home, you freaky-eyed bitch!"
James in an aside to Alex.
"You know she still heard that?"
"I know, I simply wanted to give myself a chance to run in the opposite direction."
A capeless Supergirl is seen soaring into the sky. Both Alex and James watch with concern.
"So, I take it Red K Kara is back?"
"Yep."
"Are we going to do anything to help her?"
"Nope, that little Kryptonian cunt can go help herself off a bridge."
"Alex!"
"Don't worry, J'onn is monitoring her every move."
Alex picks up Kara's discarded cape from earlier and holds it up to her eye. She heads down the stairs with James watching from above.
"Do you still need me as a baby daddy?"
"Thanks, but no thanks, I already have one infant to deal with and she's more than enough."
"Where are you going?"
"I need to take some target practice… and then go to a Tegan & Sara concert."