The best thing about being rich and powerful is that you never have to explain yourself to anyone.
Or sweep up your own shit.
Lena Luthor mulls over this revelation as she casually directs a cadre of indifferent housekeepers to tidy up what remains of her once luxurious penthouse. Instead of justifying why her $30,000 Robineau objet d'art is in shards on the rug, she only has to point and nod at the wastebasket. She tried her best to clean it up herself but threw in the towel and the broom after 20 minutes.
The worker bees buzz about the rooms as their queen quiets her nerves with Cat Grant's nearly empty scotch bottle. Already exhausted from the day's events, the brilliant brunette reclines on her sofa and checks her laptop clock. She still has plenty of time to get ready before the arrival of Kara Danvers. Of Supergirl. Of her supposed best friend and potential lover.
"Will that be all, Ms. Luthor?"
"Yes, thank you for coming over on such short notice, your paycheck will reflect my gratitude."
As the housekeepers file out the door, Lena messages Samantha Arias and inquires about the status of her deliveries.
Lena: ETA?
Sam: All will be there within the hour, you have my word.
Lena: Thank you, Sam, for everything.
Sam: No need to thank me, Lena, it's always my pleasure.
A soft smile curls the edges of the CEO's lips as she closes her laptop, closes her eyes, and sighs heavily. After a moment, she opens her green orbs again and focuses on the other item that somehow managed to escape her wedge-wielding wrath: the Luthor heirloom chessboard.
Through a foggy mental lens, Lena now watches two versions of herself playing a game. She observes them in silence with equal parts curiosity and bewilderment. The younger Lena is dressed somewhere on the spectrum between goth and punk with a black leather jacket, kohl eyes, partially shaved head, and piercings galore.
The other Lena, older and wiser, sports a shocking streak of snow interwoven with her raven locks and her body is wrapped in a white linen and lace gown. Ironically, they play the pieces the opposite shade of their looks.
"So, how do you want to work this, LeeLee?"
Younger Lena queries the real Luthor daughter as she shoves her white pawn on the board. After a second of wondering if she should answer herself or not, Lena steeples her fingers together and huffs.
"Well, I wouldn't move there since you'll set her up for en passant."
The younger Lena quickly withdraws her pawn and changes her move as the older Lena laughs and turns to the real one.
"I believe she means what do you want to do when Kara arrives?"
"Oh… I haven't quite figured that out yet."
"Well, you better because time is ticking away."
"I know how to read a clock."
"Yes, and I know you have some formation of a plan with your impending deliveries."
"I do, whether I execute it or not remains to be seen."
Younger Lena leaps up from the game and bounces to the center of the room.
"I wanna know how dramatic you'll get when she gets here?"
Before the real Lena can respond, the younger version of herself acts in an exaggerated manner as she shakes her fist in the air.
"My mother was wrong about everything but she was right about you, liar!"
Both older Lena and the real Lena frown with disapproval. The younger one now hops on top of the couch.
"No?"
They shake their heads in unison.
"Then, how about…"
She tosses off her jacket and rips her shirt over her heart.
"Supergirl may be alive but you are dead to me, Kara Danvers!"
The real Lena turns to the older Lena.
"Ooh, I like that one."
The older Lena's icy stare immediately shuts that down. The younger Lena scratches her chin in thought.
"Still a no, okay, let's go with…"
She jumps off the couch, trudges to the door and flinches.
"Don't touch me you filthy alien, get out!"
A sly smile inches across the real Lena's face.
"But… I want her to touch me and I want her to be filthy and I want her to get in."
The younger Lena laughs and gives her the thumbs up.
"Gotcha, well, you could always spit in her face but that's not exactly how you want to cover her in your DNA."
The real Lena snickers at her younger version while the older Lena moves her black bishop on the chessboard and speaks to the Luthor daughter directly.
"Or you could pretend that you don't know she's Supergirl and let Kara make love to you as Kara… isn't that your true desire?"
A hush falls among the three of them. The real Lena ponders the last question and then finally exhales.
"I am deeply attracted to both Kara Danvers and Supergirl, and now they are two sides of the same coin."
The younger Lena quirks an eyebrow and smirks as she moves her rook.
"A coin you can shove into your favorite slot."
The real Lena feigns offense.
"Don't be crude and you can't castle when you're in check."
"Yeah, right."
The older Lena speaks up.
"Remember when you went to boarding school with Victoria Sinclair and you had a girls' weekend in Monaco?"
The Luthor daughter laughs and blushes.
"Ah, Roulette… those were some interesting times."
The younger Lena makes an obscene gesture with her fingers and tongue while the real Lena rubs her temples.
"I think the Red K is starting to affect me now."
The older Lena continues on.
"You went to a soiree at the casino and she insisted on being called Veronica for some reason and you wanted to be known as Lena Lewis."
"I didn't want my family's legacy following me around."
"And you had a good time, didn't you?"
"For the first day…"
"Until she became jealous of all the attention you earned… as your authentic self."
"Then she outed me to everyone as Lena Luthor, they treated me like a leper after that."
The younger Lena growls in anger.
"Bitch!"
The older Lena shushes her and stares directly at the real Lena.
"Remember how all of that felt?"
"Not good."
"Maybe that's how Kara feels, she enjoys being Kara Danvers with you without adding the burden of her family's legacy."
"She should have told me, I would have accepted her without judgment."
"It was for her to tell you — or not to tell you — in her own time, not because of Lillian's selfish trickery."
The real Lena starts to tear up again as the younger version of herself bangs her fist down on the table.
"I say… after shagging her… you become an arch villain and destroy National City, AHHAHAHAHAA."
The Luthor daughter lunges forward and swipes her arm across the chessboard. All the pieces fly across the room and clack on the floor.
"Shut it, now!"
"Hey, I was about to win…"
"No, you weren't, you lost three moves ago, she was humoring you but I won't."
She is now eye to eye with the younger version of herself.
"Listen to me very carefully… I will not hurt the innocent because my ego was bruised, that is something my family does, not me, I am not that predictable."
The older version of herself stands up and applauds.
"Checkmate, my dear."
"I want you both gone, I will handle this, as always, by myself."
Both versions of herself begin to fade from view. The younger version has the final say.
"Fine, Ms. Go-It-Alone, but you better answer your damn door, first!"
The daydream haze is shattered and the Luthor daughter wakes up from her booze-fueled nap to a loud knock on her front door. She checks the time in a panic and realizes it is not nine and not Kara's knock.
"Who is it?"
"Special delivery for Lena Luthor!"
Even though she is expecting the delivery, Lena can never be too cautious with all the attempts made on her life over the years. She goes back to the locked drawer, retrieves her handgun, and hides it behind her back.
She shuffles to the front door and opens it. Standing before her is an attractive young woman wearing casual clothing except for a brightly colored lapel pin with the name 'JULIA' spelled out in bold neon. She smiles widely.
"Hi there, are you Lena?"
"Yes, I am."
Lena scans around and is surprised by the lack of packages.
"Where are my delivery items?"
Now Julia looks confused and shrugs her shoulders.
"Nothing I can carry physically, but I can carry a tune, and I do have something for you."
"I don't understand, didn't Samantha Arias send you?"
"No, not yet…"
Julia peers down at her instruction sheet.
"A Kara Danvers did, I have a signing telegram in your honor."
Lena is slightly disappointed.
"Oh, how sweet, but I was actually hoping for flowers."
Julia flips over the back of her instruction sheet and reads it.
"Yeah, she thought you would say that and she told me to tell you that, quote, 'I cannot afford those fancy-ass flowers of yours since I already maxed out Alex's credit card on a dress you will be ripping off of me later tonight and'… ooh, sorry, I can't read the rest of that — that's nasty — but you're in for one hell of an evening!"
"I'm sorry, why are you here again?"
Julia stands tall, takes a deep breath, and punches a track selection on her phone. Brandy's Best Friend blares from the speaker and she sings along to it.
Whenever I'm down, I call on you my friend
A helping hand you lend
In my time of need
So I, I'm calling you now, just to make it through
What else can I do?
Don't you hear my plea
Friends may come and friends may go
But you should know that
I've got your back, it's automatic
So never hesitate to call
Cause I'm your sista and always for ya
And I
I don't know what I'd ever do without you
From the beginning to the end
You've always been here right beside me
So I'll call you my best friend
Through the good times and the bad ones
Whether I lose or If I win
I know one thing that never changes and
That's you as my best friend
The sentiment of the song causes Lena to smirk. Julia dances around and cajoles Lena into dancing with her as she sings. Lena is reluctant at first but finally gives in until her foot reminds her of the glass she stepped on earlier.
"Ow… please continue, your voice is stunning!"
Whenever I'm down, with all that's going on
It's really going on
Just one of those days to ya
You say the right thing, to keep me moving on
To keep me going strong
What else can I say?
Friends are there through thick and thin
Well I've been told that
And I believe that it's automatic
Call me when you need a friend
Cause I'm your sister and always for ya
And I don't know
I don't know what I'd ever do without you
From the beginning to the end
You've always been here right beside me
So I'll call you my best friend
Through the good times and the bad ones
Whether I lose or If I win
I know one thing that never changes and
That's you as my best friend
With her eyes closed, Lena is lost in the lyrics as she sways by the door. She forgets that the gun once hidden behind her back is now on full display.
"What the… FAAAAAAHHHHHH."
Julia continues screaming as she runs down the hallway.
"No, no, wait, come back… it's not what you think, please!"
"Crazy lady with a gun is exactly what I think!"
"I need it for protection, I didn't know who was at my door, look, I'm putting it away now, see?"
Julia carefully peeps around the corner. Lena displays her empty hands.
"Please, please come back and finish your beautiful song."
Julia hesitates at first but makes her way forward.
"Sorry, but your gun has literally killed the mood."
"I suppose you're right, as much as I love Brandy, I don't want to be hearing lyrics about 'sister' and 'best friend' if Kara and I are going to be… well, you know, you read it in her instructions."
"And let me repeat… that's nasty."
The two of them laugh. Julia scrolls through her song list.
"Actually, I'm more of a 90s alt-rock chick than pop… I have some PJ Harvey if you'd like?"
"Another time, I need to start getting ready for tonight, let me go get you your tip."
Lena heads back inside.
"Please come back with Jackson & Hamilton instead of Smith & Wesson!"
Lena returns with a hundred dollar bill. Julia is thrilled.
"Thanks, Benny will definitely be buying me some new underwear."
"I will inform Kara of the excellent job you did."
"Do you have a dog?"
"Uh, no."
"Huh, you would be really cute with a dog and they make better protection than a gun."
"Let me guess, you also have a side business as a dog walker."
"Hey, you're smart."
"Well, you kind of have to be when you're a CEO and a chess champion."
"See, now you're just being all full of yourself."
The two laugh again.
"Goodbye, Ms. Luthor."
"Call me Lena."
"Have fun with your girlfriend tonight, Lena."
Lena smiles to herself over the word 'girlfriend' as Julia hands her a business card.
"Please keep me in mind for all your singing and dog walking needs."
"I will."
"Or just call me anytime to hang, I have a feeling we'd be good friends."
"I think so, too."
As Julia leaves, Sam walks by her with the deliveries. Both of them look quizzically for a moment like they recognize each other. Julia turns back to Lena.
"This isn't Kara, is it?"
Lena shakes her head no.
"Damn, girl, you have a boatload of hot chicas after you!"
Lena giggles like a guilty schoolgirl as Julia leaves. Sam brings the large boxes inside the apartment.
"What was all that about?"
"It was a Kara matter."
Sam rolls her eyes and gags.
"Of course it was."
"Not a fan of Ms. Danvers?"
"No, and you weren't earlier judging but what's left of your decor."
"A momentary emotional eruption, it will all be settled tonight."
Sam puts a comforting hand on Lena's shoulder.
"I like Kara's sister better but as far as being a fan, I am Lena Luthor's number one fan."
Lena giggles again as Sam notices the semi-clean apartment.
"Better than before… but not much."
"I thought I told you to go home to Ruby?"
"I will but since you trusted me with these, I wanted to deliver them myself."
"Thank you, Sam."
The two begin to set up the boxes. The CFO has a sheepish expression on her face.
"So, um, sorry, I kind of peeked inside two of them."
Lena raises an eyebrow in fake irritation.
"Did you now?"
"The third one I could not get inside since it's sealed in a hazmat container and it requires your biometrics to unlock it."
"Oh, c'mon, Sam, I know you're smart enough to work around a challenge like that."
"I am but I did not want to violate your trust."
"Yet peeking inside the other two was okay?"
"I made some slight modifications to one that you are going to thank me for later and the second… you're going to need my help, and a large bottle of baby powder, to get into."
"Heh, I knew you were the right woman for the job."
They take the two boxes and head into Lena's bedroom to change. Twenty minutes later, Lena emerges in a plaid flannel hooded robe as Sam adoringly trails behind.
"On the outside, you look nice and comfy, but inside… you are positively lethal, Ms. Luthor."
"Good, that's what I was going for."
Sam pulls a flash drive out of her purse.
"Oh, I almost forgot, I found your mother in South America, here are the coordinates, I've set up an encrypted way for you two to communicate."
"I'll deal with her tomorrow, I'm not going to let her spoil my evening."
Sam hesitates for a moment.
"Lena, I would ask you if you were sure you knew what you were doing but I know you well enough that you do."
"I appreciate your concern, Samantha."
Sam inches closer to Lena.
"You know how much I value our friendship and I would never jeopardize our working relationship since you are my boss but…"
Sam leans in and kisses Lena lightly on the lips.
"I would quit my job in a heartbeat if I knew I stood a chance with you."
With a hitch in her breath, a semi-surprised Lena reluctantly stares at her feet.
"Sam… you know I have feelings for Kara."
"Yeah, I know… just be aware you have other options."
Sam quietly walks out the door and closes it behind her. Lena whispers to herself.
"Goodnight, Ms. Arias."
Lena checks the clock. She has a half hour until Kara's arrival. She starts to unlock the hazmat container when there is another non-Kara knock at the door.
"This better not be a cheesy balloon bouquet."
She opens it to find James Olsen standing there.
"Ugh, even worse!"
"Hi, Lena, I was wondering if you needed my protection?"
"No, thank you."
She slams the door in his face. After a brief second, she opens it again.
"I apologize, that was rude, but I am not some 'giggle and jiggle' girlfriend who needs a man to save her and the only thing I want from you is to be the best employee for CatCo, nothing more."
"But…"
"And it has nothing to do with you being black, I had more attraction to the singing telegram dog walker in five minutes than I'll have for you in five years, now, go put on your empty paint can helmet and help some elderly person cross a street… goodnight, Mr. Olsen!"
The livid Luthor slams the door once more. She returns to the container when the knocking begins again. Lena stomps over to the door and throws it open.
"Honestly, I only have room for one hero in my life and that's Kara Danvers!"
With a hard-shell silver briefcase under her arm, Alex is standing in the doorway with a goofy grin.
"That's good to know."
"Agent Danvers… I wasn't expecting you."
"Wrong sister, I get it."
"I… I have no idea what you mean."
"I know Kara is supposed to be here in precisely 23 minutes and I know you know she's Supergirl."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Please, I know you are smart enough to see through a pair of glasses, so cut the act."
A defeated Lena huffs and shows Alex in.
"I suppose I knew who your sister was all along but, the very first time we met, all I saw was Kara and she is all I continue to see."
"Aww… even with the creepy glowing eyes?"
"Well…"
The DEO operative scans the damage to the apartment as she sets down the briefcase on the table.
"Interesting interior design choice."
"Your sister's lack of candor and faith in me inspired a passing yet powerful tantrum."
"Heh, no need to explain, you should've seen what I did to our shared bedroom during certain times of the month."
"And where is Kara now, is she safe?"
Alex pulls out her phone and pulls up a video monitor.
"She's fine but my credit cards are all DOA."
She shows Lena the screen. On it is Kara sprawled out on a rooftop in her red dress, downing dozens of boxes of Girl Scout cookies and gallons of milk. She wipes her mouth on the back of her hand and belches loudly.
"Lovely."
"Yep, my sister has a way about her but she is punctual and nine means nine, so let's get a move on."
"Again, I'm not entirely sure why you're here?"
"She's under the influence of Red K, it's not as bad as before but she's not entirely herself."
"You can thank my mother for that."
"Damn, I should've known it was Lillian."
Alex opens up the case and starts explaining things to an attentive Lena. In the middle of a technical sentence, Alex stops herself and gawks at her sister's desire.
"OMG, are you wearing plaid flannel?"
"It makes me feel cozy, okay?"
"Naw, that's great, I can't wait to tease Kara about it because she thought you would be all decked out in…"
Lena opens her robe and gives Alex a quick look inside. The agent's jaw drops to the floor as her eyes pop out of her head. The CEO closes the robe back up.
"Decked out in what, Agent Danvers?"
"Uhhhhh, thaaaaat."
"Kara knows me well… even more so shortly."
"I love my sister but sometimes, I hate, hate, haaaaaaaate her."
"I have a complex relationship with my brother like that… except he's a convicted sociopath."
"Yeah, well, at least he never thawed a turkey with his eyes, I can't stand the holidays."
Lena takes the contents of the briefcase and sets it aside.
"Is there anything else I should know?"
"Nope, you're good to go and I truly hope it works out for the two of you."
"Thank you, Alex, that means a lot."
"Kara bugs the crap out of me sometimes but if you hurt her, I will kill you with my hands and teeth."
"I wouldn't expect anything less."
"Gotta run, I'm late for a Tegan & Sara concert."
"I love them!"
"Did I also mention how jealous I am of my sister?"
"I'm so sorry about you and Detective Sawyer."
"Me, too."
"I really liked Maggie."
"Me, too… but I want kids and that is a really big deal to me."
"I totally understand, I want them as well, I want to do everything the exact opposite of what my family did with me."
"I can't believe I'm about to say this but the Luthors must have done something right because you, Lena, are an amazing woman and my sister is incredibly lucky to have you."
The CEO tries not to tear up but fails. Alex pulls her into a warm hug.
"Now, I'm not worried that Kara will hurt you in her present state but, as a scientist, I like to plan ahead for every possible outcome, so after the concert I will be a block away at the corner bar all night, if you need anything, please give me a call."
"I will… goodnight, Agent Danvers."
Alex goes to leave and then turns around before she closes the door.
"And if Kara decides to go back to slave-owning fake woke frat boys, please, please give me a call!"
A confident Lena grabs both of her breasts and winks at Alex.
"I'm not worried about that… once you go mammalian, you never go alien!"
Alex claps her hands loudly and laughs all the way down the hall. Alone again, Lena chuckles and sighs.
"Wow, nothing for months and suddenly I have three hot women, an intoxicated alien, and a tiresome dude all hitting on me in the course of a day… my pheromones must be out of control."
The Lady Luthor finally unlocks the hazmat container and a fine green powder glimmers inside. She pours some out, cuts it into a thin line with Julia's business card, and snorts it. Lena winces and sucks air through her teeth.
"I'm ready for you, Supergirl."
She checks the laptop clock and it reads 8:59 pm. Lena stands and faces the door.
"Come and get me, Kara!"
**Author's note: Sorry I was away from this for so long. I was hospitalized with severe dehydration due to all the projectile vomiting I did over Lames and ManHell ruining a show I once adored. The CW needs to retitle this pseudo-feminist soap opera to "Superdick." I stopped watching the episodes but I will always support #Supercorp.