Present:

And I would have been happy with a hot dog with John, Max thought, despite being in this town it is kind of nice to have some private time together. I don't get to wake up with him enough. Stop being ungrateful, they're your friends even if they're looking at me like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. "This is great."

"You and John Littleton came up together?" Jill asked, as she nodded. "Do you see a lot of him?"

"We're neighbors and our kids are on the same swim team."

"And, how are you?" Sue pressed, laying her hand on hers. "We all worry so much. You're all alone in Chicago."

She shook her head, clamping down on her resentment. "I'm not alone."

"Regan and Natalie must be getting so grown up," Laurie added.

"They are," Max said, pausing briefly. "They're eight and six. They are very different kids, but…they're great. I can't imagine my life without them."

"Fate wouldn't be that cruel," Sue said. "After what you already lost."

"It's too sad," Laurie added. "How do you even survive it?"

Max let out a long breath at that. "Because I had to. Please, really hear me on this. I am okay, and I have been for a long time. I don't sit at home and cry. I have a job, friends, family, and my kids are thriving. I'm better then okay. I'm great. The only thing that really gets to me is people…the constant sympathy and pity."

"You don't have to hide your pain."

"My pain?" she repeated. I cried, screamed, raged, she thought, fell into a depression that was fostered by Sharon. I was barely present in Nat's first few months, I think it's why Regan is so protective. "None of you know what my pain was like. I have a good life. God, I have wonderful man in my life now. This is why don't come back here. I'm not a saint. I'm not a martyr. I'm just trying to raise my kids and live my life. Why can't that be enough?"

"Max, wait."

She tossed a twenty on the table and shook her head. "I need some air. Bye."

Present

"Max is fine," John said. "Really. I wasn't around when Kenny died or to see how she was then. The Max I know now, honestly, she has it together. She's a great mom. She fights for the kids she advocates for. She tries things…she's happy."

"Max ran away from her life."

"She wanted to raise her kids by their father's family. She had too many memories here to let herself heal," John said. Max is going to kill me. I'm going to out our relationship here and now. "I know how that feels. It's something the two of us have talked about."

"You and Max?"

"We're friends. We both were widowed and left with young children. Kara baby-sits for her. I know how hard it was for her to move on, but she did. Stop treating her like she's broken because I practically dragged her off the plane with me because she was so stressed out about it."

Jimmy looked at him. It's how he talks about her. "Is there something going on with the two of you?"

"We're friends."

"You seem to know a lot."

"We see quite a bit of each other because of swim team," John stated. She told me not to look at her while she wiped her tears walking away from my mom saying she knew she was being ridiculous. We should really go away together sometime because it's been nice waking up together more than once every few weeks. We should live together…no she's not there yet. Forget it, she doesn't want pity, she knows what this is just like I do. "She didn't want to come back here because of how everyone treats her like just Kenny's widow."

Present

"We care about you."

Max looked at her old friend, wavering from annoyance to guilt. "I know you do. You need to lay off me. Being hit over the head with pity…I don't need it. Moving on was the hardest thing I had to do."

"You're seeing someone?" Jill asked, just watching her. "For how long?"

The 14 months we spent reconnecting, she thought, and these last nine where we dove into this. How we spend more and more nights with the five of us…how I know what John is thinking. How I miss him in the morning. Oh, I do love him…he isn't a runner up to Kenny any more than I am to Deanna. How lucky am I to find another man I love passionately and fiercely? I'm a sap. A total sap. "It's been nine months."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because every time I talk to you it's all poor, pathetic, pitiful, Max. Kenny's death is all anyone here talks to me about. I loved Kenny, and I planned on us spending our lives together. It didn't work that way for us and I thought I'd be fine with my girls. That my whole life could be about them, but that isn't fair. I'm happy, Jill, and it's going somewhere I'm not quite ready for, but I will be. I love him, so do my girls, and he loves us."

Jill looked at her. "It's that easy?"

"Kenny wouldn't me crying over him for the rest of my life. We had that conversation about if something happened to one of us. You don't know what this was like for me. You don't know until it happens to you. I wasn't planning on it. I didn't think that I would ever be able to. Do you have any idea how lucky I am to be able to find someone else that I want to spend my life with? Some who I love and who loves me? I was not looking for this, and it doesn't take away from what Kenny and I had. I refuse to believe that Kenny dying means I have to be alone for the rest of my life. I deserve more than that. I'm going to go. Bye."

1 Year Ago

"Rough day?"

Max looked up at boyfriend of four months and smiled tiredly at him. Filthy, she thought, very aware of her leggings, stained tye-dye shirt, messy braid and make up free face. "Work was awful, Nat threw up at school, Regan…my hardheaded seven-year-old? She organized a walkout of her second-grade classroom because…she said the book her teacher was reading was racist. I spent an hour in the principal's office with her. She was right, it was, and I'm proud of her, but."

"Regan did that?" John said. "But what?"

Max leaned back against the countertop. "She told her teacher and principal that her mommy's friend was black and that she wasn't going to listen to bad things about black people because you were nice, funny, and smart. My kid is pretty amazing…and I told them I'd fight a suspension if they tried it."

"Regan did that?"

"Regan is a hardheaded, smart, and stubborn kid."

"Who made a stand against racism. We haven't talked about it."

"You being black is a non-issue for me. I like what we're doing together. I like you. You're who I want to spend time with," she stated, thinking of her sleeping kids. "Come to bed with me."

"Honey?"

She pressed her lips to his. Kara at her grandmothers, my kids passed out, I want him…oh, I want him. Sighing, as she sunk into his arms, she lost herself in his touch. Pausing briefly to breath, she nodded. "I want you inside me…I want you to really touch me. I want you, John. Come to bed with me."

He nodded, a bit taken back by her boldness as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him again. Pulling her toward him, he swept her off her feet as she laughed. Wrapping her arms his neck she kissed him again, as they stumbled upstairs and toward her bedroom.

Present

Dangerous, John thought, the way she kisses me. The way she makes me feel…ah, Max. "We're going to blow our cover."

She pulled back and smiled at him. "We're all alone in a hotel room. I missed you."

"At your ladies' brunch?"

"They mean well and I'm such an ungrateful twat to them. I was a mess and they were good to me…and all I've done since is ignore them. I know they coddle me, but I was a mess. I told them I was okay, I didn't let them see that I was. I should have helped Sharon, I know she's still devastated. Me and the girls…seeing us together like that? I know it shattered her."

"What are you going to do then?"

She let out a long breath. "I'll make nice with Sharon. I think she needs a shrink, I know Hank is talking to her about it. I would never keep Regan and Nat away from their family, and I will always consider them my family. I think that's what I need to make clear."

He pressed his lips to her forehead. "They love you too."

"I should have told them. I didn't know how, I mean, they're Kenny's parents…How do I tell them that I moved on? I'll never forget Kenny, my marriage, any of it, but…you're who I want to be with. I am completely in love with you. My future is with you."

Ten years, he thought, it's always been her. My Max, we needed this time to grow before…she is so perfect, so beautiful, so soft and feminine in my arms right now. "We found each other again, Honey, after so many years."

She smiled at that, as he combed through her hair, his fingers trailing gently down her face. "I'm so glad we did."

Ask her, he thought, as she kissed him before wrapping her arms around him and snuggling in closer. "We should move in together. I want to go to bed with you ever night and wake up in the morning with you. I want us, the five of us, to really be together."

She looked up at him at that, feeling more confident in her answer than she could of thought. Breaking into a grin. "I would love that. Yes. I'm in."

1 Year Ago:

"Honey?"

Max laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. Tracing the scar on his chest from where his brother had shot him all those years ago, he caught her hand in his. I can't move, she thought, and I'm naked and wrapped around him. Oh, it was good… "John?"

He tilted her face to his and kissed her again. Ah, she tastes and smells so good. "It's getting late."

She nodded, as they just laid there together. "I know. Stay."

"Are you sure?"

"Stay with me tonight, John."

He kissed her, and she melted against him. Dangerous, the thought, this thing with us. She woke me up that day at the pool. My Max, he thought, as they came together again under the sheets. She is mine.

Present:

"You did good."

Max looked up from her phone and smiled. "I still spend time in court."

Advocating for children, Jimmy thought, sometimes with Littleton. Jill says she has a boyfriend, and there was something going in my office with them. There was something years ago going on before she and Kenny got together. "Do you like your job?"

"I do. I get to help kids who need it."

"And your kids?"

She smiled at that and clicked on picture in her phone. "They're great. Regan is just so smart, independent, a leader and Nat, I'm not even sure how she's my kid, because she is the most loving ball of sunshine out there."

Jimmy looked at the offered photo and back at her. "They are getting grown up."

"I know."

"How are you, Max? Really. I'm not asking you out of pity. I honestly want to know."

She held his gaze. "This wasn't the life I planned on, but I'm happy."

"Jill said you have a boyfriend."

"He's a good guy…and it surprised and snuck up on me."

Jimmy looked over at John walking toward them and back at Max. They aren't, it isn't the two of them, they wouldn't. It's how they are looking at each other, across a hallway. They haven't said a word about it. Max trying to hide her smile when she looked at him.

"The jury is convening," John said joining them and looking at her. "Do you want to grab lunch?"

"Sure," she said. Keep it professional, even if I just agreed to live with him. "

Jimmy really looked at them, the easy chemistry, the way they are looking at each other. "We'd like to have to both over for dinner tonight before you head back to Chicago tomorrow."

1 Year Ago

"I should go."

"You should," Max smiled, as he wound his arms back around her waist in the kitchen. "Regan and Nat will be down any minute and…do you want to stay for breakfast? I make great pancakes."

"You do know I really want to?"

"Then do," she said, pressing her lips to his. "Stay with us this morning."

He kissed her back, very tempted by her gentle touch and words. Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers. "I have to pick up Kara. Tonight? Our fancy date? Not that I don't like you just like this."

"In my jammies?"

Sleeping naked and wrapped around me, he thought, she fits so well in my arms. "Impress me, Honey."

I can't move, she thought, as they just looked at each other. Sex, she thought, the sex does change it. It makes it more real…and I don't want to be having it with anyone else. "I clean up well."

He ran his hand down her cheek and kissed her one last time. "I'm so glad we found each other."

She nodded, his sweet words warming her. "Me too."

He gestured toward the noise upstairs, finally letting her out of his grasp. "I'll pick you up at seven."

Present:

"Things happen when these people eat," John said, as they strolled through the park together. "You still with me?"

She looked at her hand in his and nodded. "Sorry, I…that's where I got married."

He stopped and really looked at her. "Ah, Honey, I didn't think about…We can go."

She smiled at him and shook her head. "I burst into tears here with Regan and Nat three years ago. This crippling grief hit me. This time, with you, I don't know. It's okay. I'm okay."

"Come here," he said, hugging her tightly to him. "I love you."

She looked up at him. My love, she thought, the second great love of my life. Something I never thought I would even want. "I'm ready to go home and move in together. I'm so ready to really start our life together."

"Max? John? What are you doing?"