Naruto's Paragon Life

by maverick9871

They say that a good foundation is required to build anything. Well this is the story of how Naruto's life became upgraded by Sally Jackson, minor goddess of Chaos. Watch as Naruto's life becomes a Chaos master. Multi-crossover with surprises around every corner.

3. Bricks in the wall

Naruto after taking a shower and having a couple of Kagebunshin's clean up his apartment got dressed in his orange cloths and sat down at table with his new Journal and got a pen and wrote

Things I need to get started...Money, Gear...loot...

Naruto blinked and slapped his head and said "Damn it, he got that song stuck in my head...but it's true."

Looking around his apartment Naruto frowned and shook his head and said "Remember Sally's number one rule. Figure out the loopholes and exploit the hell out of them...so what would be the loopholes I can use now...That would work."

Naruto got up and closed the book and saw it shrink down and turn into a golden little charm shaped like a book on a gold chain that appeared on his wrist and Naruto sighed before he left his apartment.

3 hours later, Naruto entered the Yamanaka flower shop and looked around at all the plants and Ino Yamanaka who was behind the counter reading a fashion magazine said "Welcome to Yamanaka Flower shop how can I...Naruto, what are you doing here. You better not be trying to pull a prank on my families business or..."

Naruto interupted her and said "Is that any way to treat a customer. Your an adult now in the eyes of the village Ino."

A chuckle from the doorway leading toward the back was heard and both Ino and Naruto looked over at the door and saw Inoichi Yamanaka standing there and he said "While you have a point Naruto, you also can't blame Ino for being careful. You do have a reputation."

Naruto said "A black dot on a white page. Is it a black dot or is it a circle inside a circle, hidden in a circle, surrounded in a circle, shrouded by a circle. Which is a bigger issue, a 12 year old boy is able to paint the Hokage monument wearing bright orange in the middle of the day or a village full of trained ninja's who failed to detect the boy until he was done. A boy who then was able to lead several ninja on a chase through the village and only got caught because he stopped to gloat."

Naruto smirked and said "You see my pranks as my failings but what about the failings of those I made a fool of. They failed to catch me. They failed to catch Orochimaru, Itachi Uchiha and how many others. Then we have what happened yesterday, a man who was in the perfect position to eliminate or kidnap the heirs of most of Konoha major clans and had detail knowledge of these heirs. If he hadn't of gotten greedy and wanted that scroll then how much damage could he have caused Konoha. Most see my pranks as problem child screaming out for attention or something like that. How many are willing to look deeper and see the real issue of the failings of the ninja of Konoha. That paint could have easily been exploding tags if I was an enemy. I could have hurled kunia's with exploding tags or poisons bombs while evading those ninja who chased me."

Ino said "Get real dead last. You couldn't have..."

Inoichi said "Enough Ino...As much as I hate to admit it he's right."

Ino frowned as she heard this and Naruto saw this and frowned and said "I'm sorry Ino and to you as well Mr. Yamanaka, the last 24 hours have been...life changing for me. I've learned things about myself that have caused me to decide to change my life and my ninja way...which brings me here."

Ino said "Do you have to always be such a drama queen Naruto. So you failed the accademy again, big deal. Get over it.

Inoichi said "Enough Ino, Naruto passed...What is it that your here for exactly Naruto." ignoring the shocked look Ino has

Naruto scratched the back of his head and looked at Ino and then at Inoichi and then back at Ino and took a deep breath and sighed before he pulled out a piece of paper and said "Do you have any of these flowers or know where I might be able to find them."

Inoichi blinked and took the paper and looked at it and said "I've got all of these. Are you wishing to buy them."

Naruto said "That's complicated. I don't actually need the whole flower, just a single petal from each."

Inoichi blinked and Ino said "Well we don't sell just a single petal baka. If you want a petal you have to buy the whole flower."

Naruto looked at Ino and said "Ino, my life changing events have nothing do to with the graduating from the accademy. If you would have waited until I finished speaking you would not look like the baka you claimed I am. I was actually going to say that since the flowers I was looking for are so expensive and are used in healing creames and since the seeds for those flowers are found in the flowers themselves I was going to offer to donate the rest of the petals and plant to any healer you know who could use them to make healing creams and your family could keep the seeds for future plants. That way your family business would look good to others in the village for your and also help you make a profit on top of the original sale."

Ino looked at Naruto with a glare and Inoichi said "Enough Ino...What exactly are you needing a petal for Naruto."

Naruto said "It's complicated but have you ever seen people fishing by the sea with those giant nets they throw out and pull back trying to catch fish."

Inoichi said "Yeah, I have. Why."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head and said "Well, you see this." as he held up his hand and both Ino and her dad saw the charm bracelet.

Naruto said "It's sort of a family heirloom. You know the Shinigami summoning contract the Yondaime used to defeat the Kyuubi. Well it was created by the Uzumaki clan of Whirlpool country before it was destroyed. According to what's written in this book, this charm was created by the Shinigami who made a deal with a member of the Uzumaki clan. I'm guessing it's from when the clan created that contract. Anyways, this charm goes to the head of the Uzumaki clan. See, watch this." as Naruto took off the charm and set it on the ground and stepped back and suddenly the charm disappeared and reappeared on Naruto wrist shocking both Yamanaka's.

Naruto said "I got this shortly after I got my hiate. Since the hiate declares me an adult. This book talks about the Uzumaki clan and thier bloodline and other things. Well according to what I have read in order to learn to control my bloodline that I must have since this thing came to me like it did, I need to start fishing with my chakra."

Ino asked "Fishing. What the hell does that mean."

Naruto said "The Uzumaki clan doesn't have regular chakra according to what I read. It only has the Yang half of chakra. We have to basically use our Yang chakra like a fishing net to catch Yin chakra. We can also lure Yin chakra into our net by having a bait. The bait is what I have come here for."

Inoichi looked at the book on Naruto wrist and said "Do you mind if I read that book Naruto."

Naruto said "Do you mind paying the Shinigami your soul. Anyone not an Uzumaki who tries to read from this book will automatically summon the Shinigami who will take thier soul according to the book. If you want to take that risk it's your choice, go ahead, but don't blame me for Ino watching you die."

At this both Yamanaka's looked wide eyed and Naruto said "Anyways can I get those flowers."

Inoichi looked at the list again and began to get them and said "Tell you what Naruto, I don't doubt you believe everything that's written in that book but it's a little mysterious how it appeared and I would hate to see you get..."

Naruto said "Enough sir. Does Ino know about me, about what I hold."

Inoichi took in a gasp of air and Naruto said "Thought not. Ino, don't let what you see and hear make you believe it's true. Remember what I said earlier about circles and dots. This is more of that crap. The Yondaime did not kill the Kyuubi, he sealed it. There's a law that nobody but the Sandaime or me are allowed to talk about it with anyone who doesn't know. Your dad's worried this book is a trap that could cause the Kyuubi to escape. The problem with this is since I've had hours to read this book and verify things, if I wanted to I could see your dad and every member of the village council along with the Hokage executed for treason by the Fire Lord because of what I now have learned and have verified as truth."

At this both Ino and her dad looked shocked and Ino asked "What do you mean."

Naruto said "Did you ever wonder why the Fire Lord agreed to allow the Senju and Uchiha clan to found Konoha. It's because both are cousins to the Uzumaki clan and the Uzumaki clan performed a great service to the land of Fire. The land of fire had almost no natural water sources. The Uzumaki clan created massive sealing arrays that bring salt water from the sea to caverns underground where it is heated by the rivers of lava that helped give the land of fire it's name. That heated water is turned to steam that rises to the surface now as fresh water that forms the lakes and rivers of the fire nation. All those massive seals are controlled by a master seal hidden somewhere near Konoha that the Uzumaki clan guard, protects, and power. Mito Uzumaki Senju was the first seal guardian for the land of Fire. In order to make sure she had enough power to power the seal she sealed the Kyuubi inside herself."

Naruto crossed his arms and said "Before she died she chose my mother Kushina Uzumaki of Whirlpool to be the next seal guardian who also sealed the Kyuubi into herself to help power the seal. The Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi inside me so I could continue to guard and power the seal. Your dad, the Hokage, and the council could be killed for treason because there have been over a dozen votes to see me killed by the council. What do you think the Fire Lord would prefer, protect the person who gives his country water or a village that wants to make him have to start importing water from other countries while his country withers away and dies due to the loss of it's rivers and lakes. Now if your worried about the fox getting free and attacking since it was inside my mother before me here's a questions you should ask, how did the Kyuubi pick up a kunai and stab it into the back of the head of the Sandaime's wife killing her and the nurse that helped deliver me. Answer, it didn't. The enemy ninja who attack and first kidnapped me and then tried to kidnap my mother before trying to kill her did. Wondering why you don't know any of this, ask the Sandaime. Do you really think he wouldn't investigate his wifes death by a kunai to the skull."

Naruto looked at Inoichi and said "You don't trust this book. This book is the only thing that saved Konoha from being destroyed by the Fire Lord because I had no knowledge about the master seal but I've already been there and followed the directions recharging the seal. It was almost out of power. Less then a year I would guess. I've added another year or two to the seal but I'm not powerful enough yet to fully power the seal like my mother and great, granny could...oh, didn't know that either did you. My dad, the Yondaime, Minato Namikaze was actually the son of Nawaki Senju. The name Namikaze was the maiden name of Mito Uzumaki Senju's mother. She gave it to my dad in order to protect him after Nawaki was killed by Iwa nins who seemed to be trying to exterminate the Senju line during the war. Amazing how the village's scapegoat just happens to be a blood relative of 3 of the 4 Hokage's."

Naruto turned and started walking toward the door and Ino said "Wait, where are you going."

Naruto stopped walking and looked at Ino and said "I figure you need to talk to your dad about the Kyuubi and what you have heard since you've been lied to all these years. Your dad will need to run to the Hokage and tell him what he heard, the Sandaime will then send people to find me to demand to know what I know since he's gone out of his way to deny everything about me even though the village laws specifically say the Hokage and council can't interfere with clan business and I still need those damn flowers so I'm going to go find those flowers and the rest of the village can kiss my blond ass. See you later." before he disappeared in a white flash of light shocking both Yamanaka's.

Inoichi turned to Ino and said "Stay here Ino and do not talk about ANY of this with anyone until I get back. This is an S-class village secret and you will be punished or executed over it so keep quite. I got to report this to the Hokage." before he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Ino looked at where her dad had disappeared from before looking where Naruto had disappeared and thought "What the hell is going on."

Several hours later, Naruto was standing up from beside a tree where a white flower was growing against when 4 figures in mask appeared and Naruto said as he looked at the masks "I'm impressed it only took you several hours to find me. Let me guess, the Sandaime wishes to see me right."

A female ANBU in a cat mask said "Yes, the Sandaime wishes to see you."

Naruto sighed and said "Fine. See you there." before he disappeared in a beam of light shocking the 4 ANBU before one with grey hair and a dog mask said "Find him."

Meanwhile Naruto appeared back in the village and began to walk toward the Hokage tower ignoring everyone and as Naruto reached the tower Iruka Umino came out of the tower and blinked and said "There you are Naruto, the Hokage had just ask me to help find you. What did you do this time."

Naruto said "I shot the sherriff but I did not shoot the deputy."

Iruka blinked and said "What."

Naruto said "It's the end of the world as we know it."

Iruka shook his head and said "Your not making any since."

Naruto looked at him and said "We don't need no education."

Iruka said "Yes you do Naruto. You need..."

Naruto interupted him and said "We're not going to take it, no we are not going to take, we're not going to take it, anymore."

Naruto pushed Iruka against the wall and screamed "WOAH, WOAH. WE'RE RIGHT, YEAH, WE'RE FREE, YEAH, WE'LL FIGHT, YEAH, YOU'LL SEE...WOAH." before he took off running through the Hokage tower.

When Naruto got to the Hokage office door it exploded and Naruto said "We're not going to take it, anymore."

The Sandaime as well as several other ninja in his office looked shocked and Naruto said "What's up you stuck up, scruffy looking, nerf herder."

A male ninja said "Show the Hokage respect."

Naruto said "And why should I. All he does is sit in in his office and does paperwork on that desk. By the way, I'm destroying that desk. I found out I was concieved on that desk. Now what do you want. I got women to do, places to be, demons to kill, and legendary loot to collect and you pull that kunai any further out of your holster and you will regret it." as he glanced toward the ninja who spoke before.

The Sandaime said "STAND DOWN, ALL OF YOU...Naruto, why are you acting like this."

Naruto said "Why don't you ask Danzo why he had his root ninja cut my mothers dead body open and take her unused eggs. Remember how you and that silver hair ninja in a dog mask left me with that squad of ANBU who you order to bring me to your office and take care of my parents dead bodies. Well 2 of them took my fathers body away while the other 2 cut my mothers body open, took her eggs and sealed them in a jar before the jar was sealed in a scroll and one of them said to take them to Lord Danzo before the one who spoke used a fire jutsu on my mothers body and then grabbed me and brought me to this office."

At this many eyes widen and Naruto said "If that's not enough why don't we talk about your former student Orochimaru who was a member of ROOT and who used the body of my grandfather Nawaki Senju for his Mokuton experiments on Danzo's orders...funny how you caught Orochimaru red handed and order ninja's who came with you that day to stand down and let him walk away...My family has sacrificed everything for this village including our immortal souls and how are we rewarded. Our graves are rob, our dead are butchered, our birthrights are denied us and our legacy and bloodlines stolen by the people we provided protection and shelter to. The people we fought and died for. Where is my godfather, that perveted bastard Jiraiya, did he abandon me because I was a painful reminder of my parents or because I don't have a pussy."

Naruto looked at the Sandaime who looked shocked and Naruto ignored the other ninja in the room and said "Well...don't worry about answering today, you got about 2 years before the master seal that provides water to the fire country runs out of power. When it does you can answer the Fire Lord why his country is being destroyed because of the loss of water...I lied to Inoichi and Ino about one fact. It wasn't me that didn't have enough chakra. It was the tiny piece of the Kyuubi I had sealed inside of me that ran out of power. Dad in order to protect the village and country divided the Kyuubi into several pieces. The Yin half he sealed inside himself inside the Shinigami. Half the Yang was sealed into a toad and the last half of the Yang was sealed into me. If my body didn't have to draw so much of the Kyuubi's chakra over the years to save my life from the abuse I suffered from the villages treatment of me then I would have more time to grow in power to help power the master seal."

At this many people in the room gasped and the Sandaime said "What do you mean Naruto."

Naruto laughed and said "You still don't get it. The great professor doesn't get it. All these years and you never pieced together the question, the first question, the oldest question, the question that must never be answered, that's hidden in plain sight."

A female ninja said "What question."

Naruto looked at her and said "Ask yourself this, where did summoning contracts come from, where did summon creatures come from, where did the sage of the sixth paths get chakra in the first place to give to us, where did the bijuu's come from, what are the bijuu's actually, where do bloodlines actually come from, where the the sixth paths the sage is named after come from and where do they lead, why would humans have the ability to make contracts with gods like the Shinigami."

Naruto crossed his arms and said "A black dot on a white page. Is it just a black dot or is it circles within circles within more circles. What are the circles really hiding."

Naruto saw that everyone in the room seemed to be in thought and Naruto smirked and said "Well it seems you all have more important things to think about and I have to got training to do if I am going to kill some rift bosses to get some keystones to open greater rifts."

The Sandaime said "WAIT..What are you talking about rifts and what are keystones."

Naruto smiled sadly and said "Poor old man. Living your life ignorant about the truths of life. We are all just dust in the wind. You are viewed as the most powerful person in this village but you are actually just the head of one of 3 military branches under the control of one leader of one country in one section of one planet, in one solar system, of one tiny little galaxy in one tiny corner of space in just one tiny little universe in one tiny corner of reality. In the end we are all just dust in the wind to things greater then you can imagine. My clan knew more then most on this planet which is why the Shinigami and other gods were willing to make contracts with us. Keystones are used to open greater rifts to other places. See you." before he disappeared in a white flash.

The Sandaime said "I don't know...All of you return to your normal duties but do not talk about what you have seen or heard, dismiss."

After everyone left his office the Sandaime thought "Naruto...what do you know...was that all just an act or something more."

Naruto after disappearing appeared in the forrest on top of a white stone with symbols on it and Naruto looked down and thought "Fast travel, got to love it. I spent the first few hours this morning after meeting the Shinigami creating this portal stone and adding temperal wards to it so it won't be destroyed by me being killed. All my fast travels to this spot have been successful so I believe it's ready. Not being able to get those flowers right away was a pain but at least I was able to find the flowers I needed to make the essance of ruby, diamond, topaz, emerald, and amethyst."

Looking around the clearing he was in Naruto saw a few kagebunshins who were henged to look like people from the movies he watched with Sally and thought "Sally number 1 rule, find the loopholes and exploit them. If I am right then all the work these henged kagebunshin's have been doing will soon pay off in ways nobody would have imagined...I just hope it works. It should work...I think it will work...maybe."

Taking a deep breath Naruto said "Alright everyone, listen up. The stage is set, the band has been called, and it's soon time to raise the curtains. Your mission, to seek out new life and new civilization and bodly go where no man has before."

A male kagebunshin who looked like Charles Bronson said "Prime, I know that when you and Sally were together one of your favorite games was to use movie and game lines to make jokes but don't you think this is taking it a little far."

Another kagebunshin who looked like Will Smith "Dude, boss makes this look good."

A kagebunshin that looked like Bruce Willis said "Will's right. It's time to tell the world Yippee ki-yay mother fucker."

Naruto said "Enough...now it's time to begin. Now take the puzzle rings you have made from melted kunias and go to woods near each of the training grounds of Konoha. Each ring has been made with temperal runes so they can't be destroyed by a reset. Now that I have gotten the essance of ruby, emerald, diamond, topaz, and amethyst we can begin collecting Yin chakra from the world around us. Go collect enough chakra to create a gem to power the puzzle ring and place it in the ring. Once you do that it will absorb chakra from the elements and spawn a treasure goblin kagebunshin who will then create it's own personal vault and create a treasure chest with temperal runes. They will then begin creating more chakra gems and collecting loot to make more puzzle rings which will go create even more. Soon the treasure goblin empire shall span across the elemental nations. In the immortal words of Captain Jack Sparrow, take what we want, and leave nothing behind."

A round of cheers from the kagebunshins was heard before they cleared up what they were doing and began to leave.

Naruto saw this and thought "Step one of my master plan has began. You wanted Diablo Shinigami, I'll give you Diablo...Now I just need to survive for a few more hours before the shit hits the fan. Once I get the memories of the last henge kagebunshin dispelling I will begin operation pink floyd."

Naruto looked around one last time and thought "When the next reset starts I should start working on my first build. This world is sick, it needs healing, it needs medicine...but what this world needs most, is a doctor...a WITCH DOCTOR, HAHAHAHA."

Just then something hit Naruto on top of his head causing him to stop and look around and he looked up in the trees and see's a squirrel which was holding an acorn in its hand before the squirrel threw the acorn at Naruto who dodged to the side only to get hit from behind by another acorn and Naruto said "What the hell." as he looks up and see's another squirrel in a tree which was holding another acorn.

Naruto dodged as he heard something coming at him from behind and saw another acorn hit the ground and Naruto looked around himself and suddenly saw dozens of squirrels coming out of the tree's and Naruto thought "What the hell."

A squirrel jumped off a branch at Naruto and Naruto jumped out of the way and when the squirrel hit the ground it exploded and Naruto's eyes widen and said "No way...I heard about these but I didn't think they actually existed. Exploding squirrels."

Just then a sound was heard coming from one of the squirrels and all the squirrels in the trees began running down the tree's and charging toward him and Naruto's eyes widen before he took off running toward town and thought "What the hell did I do to piss off exploding squirrels."

In a room far above the world the Shinigami was sitting beside the bed with Sally in it and smirked to himself and Sally said "Did you really have to send those squirrels after him."

Shinigami looked at her and said "Yes, yes I did. He used a few facts to create a massive lie as a prank. Yes the Uzumaki clan did bring water to the Fire Nation as payment for allowing Konoha to be built but they used all the Bijuu's to start the process and then it was recharged by nature. I know what you and him did to the Kyuubi and I approve...but that soul was mine just like his. As such I will be pulling my own pranks on him and his plans...besides, it's not like it would kill him...perminately that is."

Sally just shook her head and said "Thank you for helping us."

Shinigami said "We all do things for our own reasons. Now lets enjoy the show."

Several hours later as Naruto got back to town it was already dark and Naruto thought "Damn squirrels...at least all my henged kagebunshins have started the treasure goblin empire. Now it's time to begin operation Pink Floyd."

The next morning Konoha awoke to screams as Naruto sat in the park henged as Deckard Cain with a kagebunshin sitting across from him henged into his niece Leah and they were playing a game of chess together.

Several more screams were heard throughout the village before people began running from thier homes with each person looking like Naruto.

Just then music began to play through the village and Leah smirked and said "Yang Henge, the same genjutsu Tsunade uses to hide herself and that we use to hide ourselves. Now the people of Konoha will learn what it's like to be you. After all, all we are is just another brick in the wall."

Cain said "Indeed Leah." as both were covered in smoke and now looked like Naruto as more and more people filled the street looking like Naruto with different cloths on while the Pink Floyd song played all across the village as dozens of kagebunshin Naruto's who were the size of children began to sing the words to the song freaking the people of Konoha out even more.

As the song ended another scream was heard and this time the voice said "DEMONS."

"HE-HE." was heard as dozens of treasure goblins ran into the village grabbing random objects as they ran through the street laughing to themselves before they would suddenly stop and then disappear in a puff of smoke.

Naruto thought "Nice, the reverse summoning seals worked. I wonder how long it will take before the village tries to find and kill me."

Several hours later Naruto was running through the street with several dogs chasing him and thought "Damn it. My Yang henges don't cover up scents so Kiba's clan was able to find the real me." as he kept running with the dogs and several ninja's who looked like him also chased him screaming at him and cursing him.