I am so sorry for how long it took to post this chapter! Despite the wait, I hope you all enjoy it. This story will be wrapping up soon, there will likely be one or two more chapters. However, I have been contemplating the idea of a sequel-it would have to do with JJ and Emily's relationship as well as the human trafficking ring that Emily and her Interpol team was investigating, but I'd like to know what you all think (would you be interested in such a sequel?)

I do not own Criminal Minds

It was over, he was gone.

She should be happy or relieved or something.

But instead she was tired and instead she felt heavy and instead her chest felt hollow. And she knew that soon her feelings would come back. After the shock of everything had worn off and her wounds had healed, she would feel it. She would feel everything.

But right now she didn't and maybe that was for the best.

She had gotten through the meeting with Hotch, she had been cleared by the FBI, Easter was in Interpol custody, and DeMarco was safe. All of the logistics were done. But Emily didn't know where that left her.

But then Emily turned the corner, Derek's firm hand resting on the small of her back, and saw her. She saw JJ and she knew she had been waiting for her. And there was something there, a feeling that was clawing its way from her chest, that was pushing her forward and forward until she was in JJ's arms. Until she had her face nuzzled against the other woman's neck and could take a deep breath and pull her even closer.

"You're alive."

Emily nodded against JJ's body. She gripped her tightly, blinking away tears, "can we go home?"

"Of course," JJ pulled away so that she could look at the other woman, "of course we can go home."

XXX

JJ and Emily walked into a spotless home.

It was as though the drawers had never been removed and their contents dumped out, as though bed sheets hadn't been ripped from beds or cushions thrown to the floor, as though their home had never been violated.

And there was a vase with brightly colored flowers on the dining room table. It held a small card that simply read: we're here.

JJ turned to look at Emily, "do you want to talk?"

"No," Emily said, taking a step toward the other woman so that their bodies were close. She brought her hand up to JJ's jawbone and brushed her lips against JJ's, "I want you," she whispered, her breath hot.

JJ's breath hitched, "yeah?"

"Yeah," Emily nodded. She brought her lips against JJ's and ran her hands down her side until they found her hips.

JJ brought her hands to Emily's face and when she felt Emily's hands go to her waistband she pulled away just long enough to breathe out, "bedroom."

XXX

Emily looked over at her girlfriend.

It was late and JJ was asleep. Emily had been too, she had fallen asleep with JJ in her arms, but now she was awake and craved the numbness of earlier.

Because the shock had passed and the hollow emptiness within her had filled.

And her body couldn't decide between anger, fear, or sadness, so she felt it all. She felt the pain she had been forced to push away, to compartmentalize in order to function, and she felt new pain.

Time had ceased to exist while she had yet again been pulled into a nightmare. As she had been forced to relive the events of that night. As she had been forced to feel.

"Hey." JJ had rolled over and was now looking up at Emily.

"I can leave." The words left Emily's mouth before she could think to stop them.

"What?" JJ sat up and turned to face her.

"We don't have to do this. I can go."

"What are you talking about, Emily?" JJ's brows were pulled together in confusion.

Emily pulled the covers away and stood, "I'm sorry." She grabbed her clothes off the floor and slipped them on before leaving the room.

JJ was out of bed in a fraction of a second and caught Emily in the hall, "Emily, stop, please."

Emily turned, and JJ saw how red her eyes were, "it'll be better this way."

"What will?" JJ asked, "what are you talking about?"

Emily dropped her hands to her sides, her eyes glazed and looked at nothing, "I was supposed to be better," she finally said.

"What?" JJ reached out, but Emily pulled away from her touch

"I caught the guy," Emily shook her head, "I caught him and things were supposed to get better. The nightmares were supposed to go away. But I still see them and I can still smell the smoke, and god, all I want is for it to go away. But it hasn't. It won't."

"Emily, look at me," JJ waited until she could see the other woman's eyes, "this doesn't mean it won't go away. It doesn't mean you won't get better. Sometimes it takes more than catching the bad guy."

Emily tried to blink away the tears in her eyes.

"Sometimes we need help, Em, but that doesn't make us weak. It's okay," JJ whispered, "it's okay to need help. It's okay to ask. And it's okay to not be okay."

A tear fell from Emily's eye and her face crumpled. JJ pulled her close and gently lowered her to the floor as the other woman's legs weakened.

"You don't have to be ashamed of your feelings," JJ held her close, stroking her hair, "you're not an inconvenience, Emily, and you deserve to be loved and heard and cared for. I love you, Em, I love you so much. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide this from me. I know this is hard, but I'm going to help you."