It took Jax a while to notice the bruises on Holly's wrists. And it made him suspicious. If she was in an accident, why would she have bruising there? He checked her ankles before going to find her doctor.

"What are the bruises on her wrists and ankles? Was she tied down in the ambulance or something?"

"She didn't come by ambulance. Chief Unser dropped Holly and your mom off. And we saw those too. We asked Unser what happened and he didn't answer."

"If she was in an accident, why would she be bruised on her wrists and ankles?"

"I don't know, Mr. Teller. We can run some more tests if you'd like."

"Please do."

He grabbed his cell and went outside, calling Unser's cell.

"What's going on, Jax?"

"What happened to Holly, Unser? I didn't know you'd brought her in."

"You know what happened, Jax. Your mom and Holly was in an accident. I found them and brought them in."

"She's got bruises on her wrists and ankles."

"I, uh….I just figured you guys were kinky or something."

"Not going there. But I know you're lying. What happened?"

"I don't know, Jax. I gotta go."

Jax walked back over to Holly's room, watching as his mom talked to the doctor about something, going over.

"You ok, ma?"

"Yeah, baby. Holly's awake. I was talking to the doctor about getting her some food."

"I'll send the prospect out."

He rushed into Holly's room to find her crying into her hands, going over to her side and putting a hand on her shoulder, making her jump and let out a yell.

"Babe, it's me! It's me…."

Holly looked at Jax and immediately leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him as she cried into his shoulder, feeling him climb into bed next to her, holding her close. She'd been raped, lost her baby and she was told by Gemma not to say a word to anyone. She just stayed in Jax's arms, starting to relax after a while, feeling Jax petting her head in a comforting way as he kissed her forehead gently.

"How are you feeling, darlin'?"

"Horrible. I wanna go home."

"When the doctor comes back I'll ask when you can."

Holly had been transferred to the mental ward after a suicide attempt that was almost successful had it not been for Tig finding her when he stopped by to check on her. He called a nurse in immediately and had to help hold Jax back from seeing Holly being worked on because she tried to kill herself. And nobody knew why. Or at least, not the full story. She had been told by Gemma quite a few times that they couldn't tell Jax or Clay what really happened. It was eating Holly alive, to the point where she was put on suicide watch and avoided Jax altogether. She knew he didn't deserve that, but the stress of everything was getting to her and she didn't know what else to do. The isolation wasn't helping matters. She'd only allow a few people to see her anymore. She was sitting in her room, watching TV as Chibs and Juice walked in.

"Hi, lass. You've gotten some color in you today. How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright, I guess. I'm hungry and tired. I had another session today. I hate talking to strangers. I have to be so careful about what I have to say."

"I know. But you can always talk to us, lass."

"Not according to Gemma, I can't. The queen bee won't let me talk about it."

Chibs and Juice looked at each other for a second in confusion.

"Holly? Did they give you meds before we got here?"

"Yeah, they did. But they don't do what they're supposed to do."

"Do you need different meds, lovey?"

"No. They're supposed to calm me down completely and make me sleep. But I don't sleep anymore. I can't turn my brain off."

"Why do you wanna turn your brain off?"

"Because I want to forget…."

"Forget what?"

She looked at Chibs with a goofy smile, booping his nose.

"I. Can't. Tell. You. Gemma said I couldn't say anything."

"But Gemma isn't here. You can tell us and we won't tell her that we know."

"She's always around. In the room, in my head, in Jax's head, in Clay's head. I can't get rid of her."

Chibs looked at her in confusion and concern, watching her fall asleep. He looked at Juice, both of them having the same expression on their faces.

Holly walked down the hall with Jax, holding his hand. She'd finally broke down and let Jax come see her. She missed him and felt a bit better with him around.

"How's Abel?"

"He knows that you're not around. I can tell he misses you. I do too."

"I miss you both so much."

"Then come home. You don't belong here. I don't understand why you keep trying to off yourself."

"It's not….I don't…."

"Please tell me why, Holly? Is it because of the baby? Because I know it hurts, but we can try again when you're ready to."

"That's not the only thing."

"Then what?"

She looked at Jax, her heart breaking as she saw the pain in his eyes, both of them tearing up.

"Ask your mother….."

Holly sat in her room, holding Abel as Gemma stared at Holly. She was doing her best to ignore Gemma, but she couldn't anymore.

"I have to say something, Gemma. I can't keep quiet anymore. It's driving me crazy and it's killing me."

"You can't. We don't know anything about these guys. Just what their goal is. We can't let them win."

"You don't get it. I can't stand that Jax doesn't know. He's wondering why I tried to kill myself. What could be so bad in my mind that would make me want to take myself away from him and Abel. it's not fair to keep him in the dark."

"Play this out, Holly. If they find out, they'll go looking for blood. These guys are dangerous. They'll hurt our boys or worse. Do you wanna raise Abel alone?"

"No. Of course not."

Holly was finally able to go home and it felt pretty good to be leaving the hospital. She wasn't 100%, and it would be a while before she was, but she was taking it one day at a time. More for Jax's sake than her own, but she was trying. Jax looked at Holly and smiled, kissing her.

"You ready to go home, babe?"

"Beyond ready."

"I hope you don't mind that I have the bike. I didn't think you'd wanna be in a car right now."

"No, it's fine. I just wanna get home and be with you. And get some food. I haven't eaten all day."

"Whatever you want, babe. What do you want?"

"As long as it has bacon, I don't care."

She smiled when he nodded, following him out to his bike, climbing on behind him after putting on her helmet. It felt really amazing to have her arms around him again and to feel the wind across her face. She missed this. She asked him at the first stoplight to take the long way home, and he had no problem obliging. When they finally got home, she let him carry her inside, holding onto him. She smiled when she saw Abel, who was being held by Gemma, picking him up when he reached for her, kissing his face all over as she held the little boy in her arms.

"I think I missed you most of all, scarecrow."

"Welcome home, baby."

"Thanks."

She walked away from Gemma, carrying Abel into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed, playing with him. She was still mad at Gemma, even if she knew Gemma was right. It was really hard to keep such a huge secret from Jax. From everyone. All she could do was take it one day at a time. She spent the rest of the day playing with and taking care of Abel, relaxing as Jax went to do some club shit. She'd made it very clear to Gemma that she would be as polite as possible in front of the others, but by no means was she ready to forgive her yet. She put Abel down for bed as she heard Jax come home, shutting the door to the nursery before going to Jax, who was grabbing a beer from the fridge, wrapping her arms around him from behind, kissing his back gently. She felt him turn around in her arms, pulling her face up gently to pull her in for a kiss. It started out slow and loving but turned deep and longing. She let it go on for a minute before pulling away, wincing a bit. She normally just let it go on and followed where it led, but all she could think about right then was the feeling of someone else inside her than Jax. She looked down at the beer in his hands, feeling him staring at her in confusion.

"You ok, babe?"

"Yeah. I'm just tired and wanna curl up with you. Is that ok?"

"Yeah. Come on. Let's go to bed."

She nodded at him.

"You know what? I'll be right there. I want snacks. You want something?"

"No. I'll be waiting."

"Ok, baby."

She watched him go to their room, feeling guilty and trying to keep herself from crying. When she was in the hospital, it was easier to keep that secret from him because she could just avoid him. But they lived together. This was gonna be so much harder….