Chapter 7, Healing: Fall 2016
The heart ruled for several days as Tony and Ziva reveled in the nearness and presence of the other. By day, the three of them explored Paris and spent time in parks and museums; they watched movies at night cuddled together on the sofa. Once Tali was in bed for the night, Tony and Ziva let the physical side of their relationship rule. They explored each other creating electricity between them with touches and caresses. Tony and Ziva both ignored the elephant in the room, until one evening in mid-October after Tali had gone to bed.
"Ziva, we agreed long ago that we would work on telling each other things, especially feelings, and now we are dancing around them again." Tony began the conversation that they both knew needed to be said. "This isn't going to fix things overnight, but I have to know why you kept Tali from me. Please, talk to me."
Ziva looked down at her hands, and fidgeted. This was not going to be an easy conversation, but she also knew they needed to heal and this was part of the healing together. She began where they had left off, asking Tony to hear her out and be patient, and he could ask questions when she had finished. She told how after he had left that night in 2013, she was followed back to the farmhouse. How she was followed and watched by both Mossad and enemies of her father, making it difficult for her to come to terms with her past and move beyond being Eli's assassin daughter. Both Mossad and others wanted documents and pictures that were supposedly in a secret bunker under the farmhouse. Either group would do whatever was needed to get the information. About the same time as the first attempt by Orli to get Ziva to allow Mossad to search the property, Ziva found out that she was pregnant. Her first thought was to call Tony, but then she worried that she would be destroying his life. She knew he would walk away from his life in DC and NCIS to be by her side. Her still confused and unsettled state led her to believe that she could not ask Tony or any of her NCIS family for help or support. Both Schmeil and Nettie try to convince her to contact Tony, but she refused, thinking it for the best. Schmeil did get her to agree to document in photos, video, and a journal the progress of her pregnancy and Tali's birth and milestones. The DVD she sent to Tony was the product of that documentation.
Each time the threats seemed to go away, Ziva tried to convince herself to contact Tony, but then chickened out or the threats would escalate anew. She would need Tony to keep Tali safe when the time to confront Mossad and the other groups was right. When she learned of Kort's plot to destroy all of Eli's records and, if needed, the farmhouse, she took Tali to the beach house in Haifa. It was there that she obtained the documents to become Sophie Ranier and handed Tali to Adam with a go bag. Tali cried for her Ima, and Ziva had to turn her back to keep from going to her baby girl. Ziva had also enlisted Orli's help, as much as she did not want to do so. Orli created the story of Ziva's death in the fire and that Tali had survived. She delivered Tali to Tony in DC.
Ziva had returned to the olive grove and put the key for the flat under the box with her "I will" list, hoping that Tony would remember it and that he would find her note and the key. She had looked over the remains of the house, noting the gaping hole. She figured that Mossad had removed the bunker or at least dug it up and taken whatever Eli had hidden there. She did not want to know more.
Tony listened to the events that had passed in the three years since he had last seen Ziva. As much as he hated to have been kept out of the loop, he did understand Ziva's reasoning. Understand, yes; accepting and okay with it, not so much. It would hurt for a while that Ziva had intentionally kept Tali from him. That he had missed out on the pregnancy and the birth and Tali's first two years.
Ziva watched Tony as he mulled over her words. She worried that he would not forgive her. What would happen with Tali? Neither of them had grown up with two parents present; she so wanted to have Tali have both of her parents as an active part of her life. Tony also wanted Tali to have what he and Ziva never had, a normal childhood.
"Ziva, oh, where do I start," Tony began. "When I thought you were dead, I wished I had a chance to do what I should have done three years ago. Turn around and get off that plane and stay with you as you found your way back. I regretted the decision to leave, even though I understood you needed to make the journey alone, as did I to get to where we could be together without the ghosts of the past drawing us into a downward spiral. I admit it; I was a mess for about eight months. I tried to put it out of my mind and was a shell of a person, going to work, solving cases, going home. At night the nightmares and what ifs kept me from sleeping.
"When I found your note in the picture frame, it was like a piece of me had come to life again. Tali also rekindled the life within me. The hope that you might be alive and Tali have kept me going through these past four months. I vowed to myself that I would never let you go again. You are a part of me and I feel like I can't go on without that vital part. Tali is now a part of me as well.
"Ziva, I am sure of one thing; I love you. Forgiveness is going to take some time as I work through the hurt. If you will promise me that you will try too, I want to make this work. Not just for Tali, but for us. What do you say?"
Through tears, Ziva took Tony's hands in hers and looked him in the eyes, "Tony, I promise to try, to make things work for US, to let go of the past and focus on the present and that I will not run when things get bad ever again. I love you and have regretted sending you away since the door to that plane closed three years ago. You complete me, and I cannot bear to think of a life without you in it."
Tony let his own tears fall as he drew Ziva to him and held her close, both of them crying. Little footsteps padded to the adults. Tali looked at her Ima and Abba in confusion. "Ima, Abba, why cry? Ima sad? Abba sad?"
Tony pulled Tali into his lap. "No, baby, these are good tears. When you are older you will understand that being a family requires some tears as well as some smiles."
"Ima?" Tali looked to her mother.
"Yes, Tali; good tears. We are a family and we are surrounded by love."
~TIVA~
The next few months brought the family many changes. Tony and Ziva no longer felt as though they were strangers to each other. They established a set of "ground rules" (thank you, Gibbs) that was dynamic and formed a basis for their renewed relationship: Talk about feelings. Address an issue before it becomes a problem. It is okay to disagree. Forgive with the mind and the heart. Be honest. Be open. Be reachable. Ask, rather than assume. Communicate with words.
They had Skyped with Tim several times, and Tim had been so happy that his best friends were together. They had also included Delilah in the latest call. Ziva was happy that Tim had found his soulmate and she liked Delilah. The two women hit it off immediately, and all four of them had shared NCIS stories and laughed together.
As the holidays approached, Tony had a call from Senior asking about his and Tali's plans. Tony had not told Senior about Ziva coming home, only Tim and Delilah, who he had sworn to secrecy. Both Tony and Ziva had agreed that their little family needed to define and solidify itself before they brought extended family into the mix. When Tony had the call from Senior, he and Ziva had talked about visiting and decided to extend an invitation for Senior to visit at Christmas time. Tony decided to wait until Senior came to Paris to have him find out about Ziva. The last thing he wanted was Senior blabbing to anyone and taking control of how and when the news of Ziva's survival was shared.
Senior agreed to a four day visit and let Tony know of his flight arrangements. Meanwhile, both Tony and Ziva prepared for Tali's first Chanukah and Christmas with her parents together. Ziva had celebrated both in an understated manner the year before, since Tali had been too young to understand the significance of either celebration. They purchased a Menorah, a small Christmas tree and some holiday lights. On their family outings, both parents would make mental notes of the things that interested Tali, for purchasing gifts when out alone, and hiding in the flat without the little girl's knowledge.
Ziva had scheduled a doctor's appointment for the morning of the day Senior's flight was to arrive. Tony at first was concerned, but when she told him the appointment was with an Ob/Gyn, he nearly fainted. "Are you, um, we, um…?" Was he ready to have another one? "We shall know tomorrow." She smiled and caressed his face. They went as a family to the appointment, and Tony stayed in the waiting room with Tali, playing with the toys there. When the nurse called out "Mr. DiNozzo?" he jumped up and scooped up Tali. She led him back to an office where Ziva was already seated. Ziva smiled and held Tony's hand. The doctor came in, "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo, you are expecting." Tony squeezed Ziva's hand and grinned. Neither one bothered to correct the doctor in how she addressed them.
"Your due date is around the end of June. At your next appointment, we will do a sonogram to confirm the date and the development of the baby. We may also be able to determine the baby's gender, if you desire to know. You can decide the day of and let us know."
Tony took Ziva and Tali back to the flat so that he could go pick up Senior at the airport. He turned to kiss her as he was leaving and they both broke into huge grins. Tony noticed she had a glow about her. "I still can't believe we have another baby on the way." He was still wrapping his head around the fact that their family of three was about to become a family of four.