Holly stood with Jax, crying softly as she and Jax kissed, feeling Jax hold her close, her fingers in his hair, holding him against her.

"I hate this shit."

"I know. But it's for the best."

"I know it is. I hate that I won't know that you're ok until I hear from you."

"I promise you that I will be fine. I'm keeping my eyes and ears open."

She closed her eyes gently as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, feeling his hand on her belly.

"È ora di andare, piccola colomba."

She sniffled and nodded, kissing Jax again before pulling away, looking at him for a minute before going over to Chibs, who was standing with Fiona and Kerrianne. Her grandpa had arranged for a cruise ship to take her to LA. She'd managed to convince Chibs' girls to come with her while Jimmy was still in Belfast. Chibs pulled Holly in for a hug before placing a long kiss on the side of Holly's mouth. She could tell by the wetness on his cheek that he'd been crying too.

"Take care of my girls, ya?"

"You know I will, Chibs. We'll call you when we get there."

"Taisteal slán, mo chailíní."

"Déanaim aoibh gháire ort agus tú a choinneáil slán."

She watched as the girls climbed into the van before she went over to Gemma, hugging her tightly.

"Bring my boys home with you. All of them."

"I will, baby. You keep yourself as relaxed as possible. And stay safe."

"I'll have Tig, Kozik and Piney. I'll be fine. I love you, Gemma. I'll see you in a couple days."

"See you, baby. Call me when you get to the clubhouse."

"I will."

Holly went over to Maureen and hugged her too.

"I'm sorry we didn't get to talk much. But thanks for your hospitality. I won't forget it anytime soon."

"I'm sorry you're not going home with your boy."

"I'm sorry about McGee and O'Neill. I know they were rats but they were still your family. Losing people is never easy."

Maureen kissed her cheek before letting her go. Holly watched out the window as they drove off, watching the guys getting farther and farther away.

Pulling into the harbor, Holly let out a sigh of relief as she saw Tig and Piney waiting for the three girls. She went over to hug the guys tightly before introducing Tig and Piney to Fiona and Kerrianne. She let the guys take their bags, climbing into the van with everyone, sitting back and letting Tig plug her in to everything that's been going on at home. By the time they got to the clubhouse, Holly and Kerrianne were fast asleep, sleeping against each other. Holly was the first one to wake up a few hours later, going out to the main area of the clubhouse, seeing Fiona talking with Piney. She looked at Kozik, who was behind the bar.

"What can I get you, sweets?"

"Ginger ale. Tig any closer to letting you patch in?"

"Of course not."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"I doubt it would do any good. But you can try."

Holly answered her phone when she saw Jax's number.

"Please tell me that you've found Abel and you're coming home? I can't wait to see you guys anymore."

"I need your help, Holly. I'm lost right now."

She sat up, concerned at the sound of pain in his voice.

"What happened, Jax?"

"I found him. He was adopted out. Kellan has an illegal orphanage that he took Abel to. Couple picked him up two days ago as part of a four day test period."

"Holy shit. If he was picked up two days ago, Kellan knew about it."

"That's what Opie said."

"The fucking Judas. I'm gonna come back and slit his goddamned throat."

"That's not why I called you."

"Sorry. Keep going."

"I followed the couple. They had Abel with them."

"Did you talk to them?"

"No. I let them."

She bit back a comment, starting to breathe heavily for a second.

"Why did you let him go?"

"The last time I talked to Kellan, he said that my dad wanted to save me and my brother from this life. He died before he could do that so Kellan took it upon himself to save Abel from this life. I have his voice in my head. What could his life be like without the club? We wouldn't have to worry about whether or not one of our enemies could get to him. Wouldn't have to worry if he's gonna have to watch me get buried."

She teared up, so many thoughts running through her head that she wanted to voice.

"Getting to know my grandpa these past couple days have brought up a lot of questions. What if my mom had let me get to know that part of my family? What would've been different? What would've been the same? Would I live in Charming? What's my dad's side of the family like? If I reached out, would they be receptive? And I can say, without a doubt, as nice as it is to know he's out there, I wish I had never met him. I wish I had never known he existed. That that illusion my mom gave me remained. If you completely let that little boy go, the day will come where he'll find out he was adopted. And then he'll have the same question that every kid that's gone through that have. Why didn't my parents want me? Who are they and why did they give me up? What was so wrong with me that I couldn't stay with them? Even if he grows up with good parents who give him everything on a silver platter. They're not his family. You are. I am. I think, if you really want my opinion, that you letting him go is the worst idea you've ever had. If you really wanna give him a life away from club shit, then bring him home and leave the club. Black out your reaper and turn in your cut. But don't leave him with people that don't know him like we do. Don't make everything that's happened been in vain."

She wanted to be angry, but hearing him crying broke her heart, letting a few tears fall herself.

"What do I do, Holly? I want my son back. But he's with a father that didn't help torture and kill a man yesterday. He's with a mother that didn't shoot up while pregnant. A couple that want a baby, not knowing they picked up someone so special."

"Baby, I can't make this decision for you. As much as I might want to. This decision has to be yours. But I can tell you that I know you well enough to know that, even though you'd be doing it for Abel's well being, you'll regret giving him up. You'll regret letting him go and you won't be able to do anything about it. I know how guilt and regret eat at you and make you feel. You'll be miserable and nobody will be able to help you out of it. And what do you plan on telling our other kid when they ask what happened to their big brother? Like I said, if you want Abel to grow up in a different life we can leave the club. We can do what my parents did and remain friends with the guys."

Holly stood in the clubhouse, cleaning up a bit as she waited to hear back from Jax. She hadn't heard from him since he called to tell her he had let Abel go. And she was going crazy. She had tried to call him a few times, but she always got to his voicemail. She couldn't take not knowing. It was bugging her. She needed to know if she was gonna get her son back or not. She bit her lip, calling Bobby's phone, knowing he'd answer.

"Hello?"

"Bobby? It's Holly. Are you with Jax? I haven't heard from him."

"He's in with Kellan and the IRA, sweetheart. What's going on? Are you ok?"

"Do you know if Jax got Abel back?"

"Not yet. Jimmy has him now. We're gonna get him back, though."

Holly paced around the kitchen, chewing on her thumbnail. Fiona had set up Kerrianne with Netflix and some dinner, standing in the kitchen with Holly.

"You should sit down, lovey. You're just worrying and it's not gonna help anything."

"I can't sit until I know what happened. I need to know."

"I'd rather you sit and tap your leg again."

She went to go say something when her phone chimed, immediately opening the text she'd gotten, crying happily when she saw the picture Gemma took of Jax and Abel together, falling to the ground as her phone rang, answering it.

"Your boys are coming home, baby. Abel's coming back to his mommy."