Two months after the first sign of the Buzz, Dimitri was back on his regular daily visits.
Now, every day was the same, but a different same. Dimitri would come in with his, now, usual greeting and attempt to engage me in conversation. The first few times I didn't respond, he regarded me with a look that bordered on worry, but was quickly replaced with the stone faces that the other White Coats wore, his own Guardian Mask. After a week of me still not responding, he stopped trying to have conversations.
It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him, quite the opposite, in fact. I had so many things that I wanted to talk to Dimitri about and so many questions I wanted to ask him. The Buzz was the main subject in almost all of the questions, but I couldn't figure out a way to phrase the questions.
"Good morning, Project X." He would come in scribbling notes, motioning me to the ground. As his hands worked to collect what he needed, the buzz was always present. I spent the few minutes I had with him thinking about what the buzz meant coming from him. I knew with the other Projects that the buzz signaled the presence of an ability. Most of the time, the buzz was slight, barely a hum, but with Dimitri the vibration resonated through my entire body.
I just couldn't figure out what it meant.
I reacted to him like I would another Project, only the reaction was magnified. Was Dimitri Spirited? That was the answer that made the most sense, but also the answer that made the least amount of sense.
If Dimitri was indeed Spirited, why in the world would he be working for the Guardians? If Dimitri was Spirited, how did the Guardian's not know about him? What could he do? How could he keep it hidden so well?
Maybe he wasn't Spirited. Maybe he's something different? That would kind of explain the much stronger reaction I have to him compared to other Projects.
I couldn't just ask him right out, though. I needed to find a way to make him tell me, but I knew that wasn't going to be easy.
"Have a pleasant rest of your day, Project X," then he would be out of the room.
Ever since that confusing day Dimitri referred to me as "Project X", that is what he sees me as – a Project. I should have known he'd never see me as anything other than that. Despite what he told me, Dimitri would always see me as a freak. There was something different about him, too, so if I was a freak, I wonder what that made him?
"What's going on, Rose?" Lissa asked for the seventh time in the past hour. "You keep zoning out. You're thinking about something and pretty intently, it must be pretty big. What is it?"
"It's nothing, Liss, just something I've been trying to figure out."
"Well maybe if you tell me about it I can help you figure it out faster." She perked up and folded her hands, ready to listen.
"No, Liss." Her smile turned into a frown," I'm going to try and get answers this week. If I don't have the answers when we meet next week, I'll get your opinion on the matter, okay?"
Her smile returned but it wasn't as bright as her previous one. "Of course, Rose."
"Sooo…what's going on with you and Sparky?" I asked deflecting attention back to her.
"What…what do…what do you mean? There's nothing going on with Christian and me," she finally pieced the words together, not meeting my eyes.
"Do you want something to be going on between Christian and you?" I asked saucily. I smirked as a blush crept over her face.
"Of course not. We're just friends, if that." She glanced longingly over to where Christian was talking to Eddie and Mason. Mia and Jill were playing with a mini tornado that Jill had created. Mia, though, was mostly trying to keep her hair from flying in her face. It was down to the seven of us, which was kinda great. Every session was like one big friend hangout.
"Liar." I muttered under my breath. "You know, Lissa, it's okay if you like him. He's not a bad guy, just a little hot-headed. Pun intended." I laughed as she rolled her eyes. "I think you two would be good together. You'd balance him really well, quite literally the ice to his fire. And it's not like he'd turn you down if you asked him out. Even a fool could see he's smitten with you."
She looked back at Christian. As if knowing she was looking, Christian looked over at us and caught her eye and waved. Lissa quickly looked back at me blushing as I chuckled.
"You really think he likes me?" She asked sheepishly after a few minutes of thought.
"Lissa. Trust me, I know." I said tapping my temple meaningfully. "Plus, you can see it in the way he looks at you, you'd have to be blind not to."
"Really?" I didn't answer her. I didn't have time as we were being collected by the White Coats to be escorted back to our rooms. "Christian! I'll see you next week." Lissa yelled to him as she walked out the door, waving at a wide-eyed pyromaniac. He just stared at the now closed door, grinning like an idiot.
I rolled my eyes as I exited the same door, walking between two White Coats I couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Lissa and Christian. They were perfect for each other. I could already feel the love radiating off of them. I'm happy for them, of course, just jealous because they've found each other and I had no one.
'Ugh! That makes me sound like such a teenager!'
It was the same for Eddie and Jill, and Mason and Mia. They each had their significant other, thankful that of the remaining Projects the couples got to stay together. But I was the third wheel for all of them, so like the seventh wheel. It was getting harder to block out the intense emotions that swirled around the room. Affection was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. If Christian and Lissa got together, I doubt I would have any success.
When I got back to my room, I floated up to my corner. Reflecting on today's turn of events, I sighed.
'I guess it's just me and my corner, now.'
"Good morning, Project X." And so, it begins, another day of being "Project X." But today was different, though. Today, I wanted answers. The Buzz had started as soon as he stepped into the room.
"Good morning, Dimitri." I called down to him.
"It seems that we are talking today, then." He actually seemed surprise to get a response from me, though his expression betrayed nothing.
"I wanted to ask you a question."
"Then ask." He didn't even glance up to see the two of me sitting above him. A new "gift."
"Do you ever feel different? Like there is something more to you? Like a secret you want to know but just can't make sense of all the signs?"
He froze for a split second, shoulders tense and the feeling of panic flashed in the room. He quickly recovered himself.
'I'm on the right track, at least.'
"No, not really. I suppose that you have felt this way?" Smart move on his part, steering the questions away from himself. I rolled my eyes but humored him anyway.
"Nah, I know I'm different, but I don't feel it. You can probably tell just from me being here that there is something more to me, or something wrong with me," he nodded along absent-mindedly, still not looking up. "Of course, even I don't know all my secrets, yet."
I split myself a few more times, we sat in a circle above Dimitri's head as he kept writing, noting his observations.
"Why'd you become a Guardian, Comrade?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I don't know, you just don't seem like you fit in with the other White Coats. You seem better than all of this – better than them."
"I feel like this is where I could be the most useful." I studied him a few minutes before asking my next question. His body language was tense and clearly screamed "back off," but I kept going. All of my heads turned to stare intently at him, careful to gauge his response to my next questions.
"Do you have secrets, Dimitri?" We all asked him in a tone that suggested we already knew.
He stopped writing. His brows were furrowed and his lips a thin line. He was thinking, probably more about the fact that my voice came from six different sources instead of the one.
Putting his pen down, he looked up at me. His eyes widened more and more as he took in each of me. He'd fully interpreted the question I'd asked and how I asked it. Coming back full circle, a mixture of emotions danced in his eyes.
Fear being the most prominent, but he wasn't scared of me. I knew he had a secret, but now was the time to figure out what it was. I probed his mind, hoping to find answers I knew he wasn't going to say aloud.
"She knows. How could she know? I hid it so well. I need to get out of here."
"I forgot something I need for the tests today." He lied to me and I narrowed my eyes, but he wasn't looking at me, any one of me. He was backing up toward the door shaking his head, repeating "I've got to get out of here, she knows. I can't believe she knows. What will she think of me?"
"I'll be right back." With that, he turned around and practically ran out of the room and down the hall.
I combined myself and sat in the middle of my room, waiting for him to come back, even though I knew he wasn't coming back. At least he wouldn't come back today.
I was right, he never came back that day. In fact, he didn't come back any day that week. The White Coats marked that week as him being "sick." It would've been a valid excuse except for the fact that in the two years that I have known Dimitri he has never been sick, not even with a cold or seasonal allergy. He's never even a papercut or a hangnail!
I pondered what he words could've meant as they played on a loop in my head.
"She knows. How could she know?" I didn't actually know anything and even if I did, why was he so scared? What could he be hiding from me that was so bad as to cause him that level of fear? At least I knew he did have a secret that he was keeping from me.
After gaining one answer, I had so many others. I needed Dimitri to come back so I can ask him. There's nothing for him to be scared of, at least not from me. Didn't he know he could tell me anything? It had to be something big for him to react in the way he did, but I couldn't think of one explanation that made sense. Only one thing ran through my mind all week:
"I hid it so well."
What could he be hiding?