Holly looked towards the door when she heard it open, looking down at her hands when she saw Jax. She had just finished talking to the doctor. And Opie.
"I just talked to the doctor. How are you feeling?"
"Suspicious. You tell Opie that you want to push me away, from the only home I've ever had, from you, from my friends and family, and then not only are you not here when I wake up, I hear that you went out for some fresh air and didn't come back until just now. Where'd you go, Jackson?"
"Just for a drive. And I did tell Opie what was on my mind."
"I know you well enough to know when you're lying to me. So tell me the truth. Where did you go?"
"You need to calm down, babe."
"Don't change the damn subject and answer the damn question, Jackson. Where the hell did you go last night?"
She looked up at him, tears filling her eyes when she saw that he couldn't even look at her. She shook her head, biting her lip.
"I have your crow. You went out of your way to contact my father's father to get my grandmother's wedding ring, the side of my family that I've literally never spoken to. You asked me to be the mother of your son with another woman. I gave birth to two of your children. I've been raped. I've been kidnapped. I went through two miscarriages and an abortion. I went halfway around the world for your son. I've taken care of you and the guys. You threw everything in my face after twisting what I've done and I warned you. You hurt me again and we're done. And this is what you do? This is how you prove you love me? You make promise after promise after promise, don't deliver and then send your dick on a cheerleader hunt. And, if I know you, you're gonna tell me that you've changed your mind and you want me to stay."
"Of course I want you to stay. But go over that list again, Holly. You deserve better than an outlaw biker with a GED who has no other skills than being an ok mechanic. I want to be able to give you more than what I do but I can't. The club is all I know. All I am. But you can be so much more. You can be better than my mother. But if you stay, you will turn into Gemma Teller, and I won't let that happen to you."
"STOP MAKING THOSE DECISIONS FOR ME! I'm not a fucking child, Jackson! I might not know anything other than the club, but I couldn't imagine the guys not being in my life! This is my home, my happiness and you are determined to take that from me. I don't care that you can't take me anywhere, or the kids. I've only ever wanted you and your heart and your loyalty. I've given you absolutely everything and, just like your mother, you don't fucking care. I'm done with you. I'm not leaving Charming, or the club. But those babies are mine. I will continue to do what I've always done and take care of my friends and family. But make absolutely no mistake, I'm not your old lady anymore. And I never will be again."
"You can't be around the club anymore. I don't want you to get hurt again."
"Than you shouldn't have cheated on me. You're so obsessed with keeping me safe and from getting hurt that you fail to see that you're hurting me more than I've ever been hurt."
She looked at him, both of them crying as the heart monitor beeped erratically in the background.
"I want you out of here, Jax."
"Out of where?"
"Out of the room. I don't want anything to do with you and I still have to call Dante to check in and I wanna check in on my kids."
"Our kids."
"MY kids! I told you when Valentina was born that if you hurt me again, you would lose me and the kids. If I have to, I will take you to court. For Abel too. It might be Wendy's name on the birth certificate, but you had me adopt Abel. As far as that little boy knows, I am his mommy. All I have to do is show the judge our records and they will be mine. You are an outlaw biker with a rap sheet as long as a football field. I have one charge on my record. Who do you think a judge will trust more?"
Holly looked over when Gemma came in, putting on a smile for the kids as they came in. She hugged Abel lightly, kissing his head gently.
"Hi, baby boy."
"Hi, mommy. Are you ok? Daddy said you got hurt."
"I'll be fine. I promise. Mommy's gotta stay in the hospital for a while until I get all better. But I'm getting moved closer to home. So I'll be able to see you more."
"Good. I miss you, mommy."
"I miss you too, baby. And I love you so stinking much."
"I love you too. Nonna and I made a bunch of sandwiches for you."
"You did? That's so sweet."
"Yeah. Jax said you wouldn't want hospital food."
"Oh yeah. What else did your son say?"
"He said you two got into it. You ok?"
"I don't wanna talk about it in front of the kids. But know that things are over between us."
She looked over when Chibs came in.
"Hey, lass. Just wanted to let you know that we gotta leave for a bit. But we'll be back later."
"You guys don't have to babysit me. When you're done with whatever, y'all can go home."
"Are you sure, lass? We don't mind staying with you."
"I really want some time alone with my kids. I'll be fine."
Holly looked up from her laptop when she heard a knock on the door, surprised to see Wendy come into the room. She'd been transferred to St. Thomas a couple hours ago for better care.
"Wendy? What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you at the firm, but I was told you were here. Are you ok?"
"I will be. You look good. Seattle treating you ok?"
"Yeah, it did. Been clean for over two years."
"Good for you. Why are you really here?"
"I want to get to know my son."
"Wendy…..I've always kept that door open to you but you never used it. You never walked through it. It's not open anymore."
"I gave up the right to raise him, but not to know him."
"Yes you did, Wendy. You gave up that right when you walked away. Going away for rehab was good. But I told you that if you wanted to get to know Abel, you had to make the effort. You made absolutely no effort. There was never any texts, calls, cards of any kind. Abel is my son. Not yours. You might have given birth to him, but I've been there for every appointment, every boo boo, every birthday. You can call a lawyer if you want, but you won't win. He might be your son, but you don't know him. And thanks to your laziness, you never will. Now get out of my room before I call security."
Holly woke up when she felt someone move her hair out of her face, looking into Jax's eyes. She moved away from him, watching him sit down.
"I thought I made myself perfectly clear."
"Please let me explain?"
"Jax? It's late, I'm tired and I'm so emotionally drained. I don't have anymore to give you."
"Just listen, please? And then I'll go. Let you sleep."
"Fine."
She moved the bed so she was sitting up, looking back at him, crossing her arms across her chest.
"5 minutes."
He sighed and looked at her.
"This isn't how I wanted it to go. I don't want you to leave me. I didn't want to cheat. It made me sick with guilt. But the one thing that you and Tara shared was that you hated disloyalty. I don't love the fact that I hurt you, but it was the only thing I could think of to make you leave. I don't wanna lose you or the kids, but I don't want them growing up in this life and think this is what life is. I don't want them thinking that this is what I want for them. I would do anything, give up anything to keep the 4 of you safe. And if cheating is what I have to do I'll do it again and again and again."
She looked at him with tears in her eyes, shaking her head.
"You know….I watched you while I was dealing with the rape. You knew something was up with me and I could tell that you were thinking that you would do anything to get me talking. That, even with club shit, I was your priority. Me and Abel. Not much else mattered to you. This thing with the cartel, it was bad shit that came at a bad time. If I had known what was in those fucking letters ahead of time, I never would've told you. Not because you don't deserve the truth, but because it spun you out just like Donna's death spun Opie out. He went crazy and now, so are you. I can tell that you don't really know what to do with yourself. You wanna believe that you can change the club and get out of everything that Clay started, and I genuinely believe that you can. But this shit with your dad's letters and his manuscript and how it spells out how he died has you so twisted up inside that you're hurting me worse than I've ever been hurt. You're so wrapped up in thinking that you're keeping me safe that you're putting me in more danger than I've ever been. If it were just you and me, I'd easily fall back into your arms and tell you that everything's ok and will continue to be ok and that I'll stand by your side, but it's not just us anymore. It's Abel, Thomas and Valentina too. You say that you don't want them growing up around club shit and thinking that this life is ok, but you think it's a good idea to let your children know that it's ok to hurt someone like you're hurting me and not at least try to fix it?"
"I am trying to fix it."
"No you're not. And this isn't something you can fix, Jackson. This isn't Harry Potter. There's no Time-Turner that you can use to take back what you've done. You didn't think about all of the consequences that would come with you fucking someone else. You didn't just break my heart, you destroyed our family. You took something so amazing and you broke it. Beyond repair. You can apologize until you're blue in the face and say over and over again that you'd do anything to take back what happened, but you knew how I'd feel about this shit and you did it anyway. You were the one person in my life that I could trust with anything. I gave you my heart and you broke it worse than my ex did. I can't look at you the same way, Jax. You're not the guy I fell in love with."