A/N: Hello agents! A special SHIELD thanks to my dear friend sweetwaterspiece for beta reading (and making it pretty :)).
There is still no voting link for the BetterInTexas Awards, but I'll let you know asap.
And another thing. I now have Kik. If you want to contact me to discuss stories or if you have any questions or just want to brainstorm you can find me under the username cloakseeker. Please, if you add me message me first letting me know who you are. Like this: Bartsimpsons2 from or AO3 or Wattpad or any other site.
Enjoy this new chapter.
Chapter 5: Who we are
Gathered in the director's office, the Eaton's and Prior's spend the next two hours talking. Tris tells them about her training, the women gasping, crying, the men admiring this young courageous girl. Since she's been bombarded by questions, and especially so as to quiet their curiosity, Tris decides to fill them in on some of the training she's undergone. The women, emotional beings they are, gasp and cry while the men nod, and an intermittent whistle of disbelief swirls around them, acknowledging admiration for this young courageous girl. Geez, if they freak out over the basics I better not tell them specifics she thought. Note to self: tell the others to shut the fuck up too.
"Do you think I should let SHIELD do it?" Marcus asks.
"Do what?" Tris asks.
"Let them, I don't know change me, become like you," he says unsure.
"As an agent I have to obey orders. SHIELD would want to know what lies beneath you. While they don't necessarily seek to exploit your ability, whatever it may be, it might be something hard to handle. As your daughter-in-law I strongly advice against it."
"Why?" Evelyn asks curious.
"I went through it, through the change. When I say change I mean not just physical, but also mental and emotional. I had some guidance and if you would choose to change I would guide and help you. But the process is painful on every possible level. You will never feel like yourself again. And everyone will look at you differently. Yeah, they'll get used to it eventually, but you will always be different. It's a big decision, Marcus. It's not like you can open that box and expect things to be normal for you ever again. Because they won't. If you're not ready for that…"
"But you've adapted. You've seemed to have made a life with it," Marcus interrupts, trying to put the pros and the cons on a list inside his head, hoping that the young woman will shed light on a still dark topic.
"I have, but it doesn't mean you will. Right now the gene is dormant and you are normal, but there's no telling what you'll become. Some changes are hidden, but others are in plain sight. Trust me, I've seen Inhumans with no eyes, no mouth, with spikes coming out of their heads and so much more weirder stuff. But if this doesn't convince you to drop it think of your family. Once you change you'll be exposed."
"Exposed? How?" Evelyn asks almost frightened. She reaches for her husband's hand to hold on tight, trying to anchor herself. All this new information, the possibility that her husband is some sort of alien, her new daughter-in-law being of the same kind and a spy on top of it all just threw her off her game. She needs support, support only Marcus ever knew to give her. Marcus holds her hand in his, rubbing small circles with his thumb, trying to reassure her she is safe. He often does that and she always calms down. But he understands why this might not be enough this time around. They all wait for Tris to continue. After all, the girl just gave them life-changing news.
"The media and the general public might not have a clue, but trust me, people like SHIELD, Hydra and others will know. They will hunt you down and if they don't kill you they'll dissect and study you. And since you are Inhuman your children might be too. There's no guarantee of that but it is possible. If they know about you they'll try to see if Lauren or Tobias are Inhuman too."
"Are they?" Marcus asks. The Eaton patriarch pointedly looks toward his son and wonders if he is like Tris. Or maybe he is human. Evelyn is human. Right? But then again Tris didn't mention anything about her parents or siblings being Inhuman. Marcus could carry the weight of this secret if he truly became Inhuman. And even the knowledge of him having the gene is not a problem. He would do anything to protect his family, though. But what if Lauren and Tobias have the gene as well? Is it his fault? Will they forgive him? Will he be able to keep his children safe?
"I don't know. I can only detect those who changed and you for some strange reason. I'm still learning to control my abilities. But I haven't felt anything around them. I only felt it in you because of the situation. But it's possible. Look, Mr. Eaton, I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just trying to make you understand what the change would mean to you and your family." They all remain silent after this until Marcus speaks up.
"If Tobias or Lauren or both have the gene, is it my fault?" Marcus asks the question that just didn't let him go. "Will they become Inhuman? Will they be safe?"
"I don't know. The Inhuman gene and all this is new territory for us. The person who could have shed some light is dead," Tris starts saying and the women gasp audibly. "Eh, she wasn't really the good guy type. She didn't die because she is Inhuman, not per se. She died because she was a bitch. Ehm, we'll get back to that some other time. As for your concerns, Marcus. It is not your fault. It is not your fault you have the gene and it isn't your fault if Tobias or Lauren have it. My parents aren't Inhuman and yet I am. Look at it scientifically. There are genes that you inherit from an ancestor and someone else in your family doesn't. Like blue eyes, red hair. It all comes down to genetics. But as I said, the field is yet unexplored and we all have questions. But in the end, you are not at fault. As for their safety, if it turns out they are Inhuman I will personally make it my mission to keep them safe. Not to mention SHIELD specializes in keeping the world safe and everyone in it," she says smirking.
"Thank you, Tris, thank you for your honesty. I'll think of my options," he says smiling a forced smile.
"Alright. Any other questions?" she asks and Tobias steps closer.
"Can we talk? In private?" he asks. Tris nods and leads all of them out of the office. She leaves her parents and in-laws in the common room and shows Tobias to her room. Once they are inside she closes the door behind her.
"Go ahead," she says as Tobias sits down and pats the bed right next to him. Tris sits next to him allowing him to ask the question that he has on his mind. She is patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts. Looking at him so many emotions bombard her at once. As a trained spy she knows how to push them down and that's what she did. At least until now. Looking at him she feels grateful that her secret is out, even if she never really planned on telling it, especially not to her family plus the new addition. She also feels a little irritated that she has to explain so much. Then again, does she really have a choice? These people are all civilians. Not only did they learn about her being an agent of SHIELD, but also about this whole new threat. She can only guess how Tobias feels at the moment. She wants to be pissed and angry with him for the whole marriage deal, but looking at him so confused and maybe scared made her heart constrict. Damn feelings. Why do they have to be so… complicated?
"I, I," he starts to stutter.
"You don't have to force yourself," she says gently. "I know it's weird and hard to understand."
"Is this the real you?" he asks looking at her, his gaze fixed on her, his expression serious.
"A layer of who I am. I'm not only one thing, Tobias. But what you've learned today that's a big part of who I am, yes. If I could have spared you all this, I would've. It's not an easy life and I didn't want to tell you about it for many reasons. I thought that it didn't matter, that we would divorce anyway after the agreed on year. But now," she says and looks away.
"Now things have changed," he says and she nods. "Can I ask you something?" She nods. "Why did you join SHIELD?"
Tris looks at him intently. She thinks of all the reasons. The thrill, the challenge, the good fight. All good reasons in her book. The freedom, but also the danger. But she grew up so to speak and learned to see the world as it is: a dangerous place and she needed to be on alert 24/7. But should she really tell him that? Yeah, he was her husband now, but he was also a stranger. Oh, what the heck? He already knows the biggest two secrets. Even if she never says the words out loud to anyone in her family, they all must understand her role in the agency. They all saw James Bond. Right? Maybe she just needed to have a little faith in humanity. Besides, she could always kill Tobias if he squeals.
"To protect those who can't protect themselves. Tobias, I've done many bad things, but I always tried to help as many as I could. I'm not proud of all I did, but I did it with the best intentions. And yeah, I know, the road to hell," she says laughing sarcastically.
"I feel like I don't know you," he says.
"You don't. You've only seen the super obnoxious Tris, the one that was pissed off and tried to sabotage her own engagement and failed. Most of the time I was just angry, angry with my parents for lying to me, even though I'm not really the best example for when it comes to telling the truth either. And I was angry with your folks for suggesting something so stupid like marrying you, with you for being an asshole to me but a pussy when it came to tell your parents no. Then with myself for not being able to get the money and save my dad's company without prostituting myself. Although, come to think of it, in the end that's exactly what I did."
"Come on. We didn't even have sex," he says, trying to lighten the mood. But she had a point. Their situation was fucked up to begin with. And now it reached a whole new level of fucked up.
"Listen. I know we started on the wrong foot, but we're married now, nothing to change that. For now. We're going to live together and I'll try to keep your dad safe and you and your mom as well. Coulson promised me he would send a team to watch over your sister in New Zeeland, so don't worry about her. What I actually wanted to say was: how about we start over? Get to know each other. I'm not saying let's be best buddies or anything, but at least get comfortable enough and not walk on eggshells around each other. What do you say?" she asks smiling. He smiles back and nods.
"What do you propose?" Tobias asks her.
"Let's play 20 questions to get to know each other. After that we can talk and see if we can actually be in the same room without throwing mean things at the other," Tris says.
"We're now in a room. A nice one," he says looking around.
"Thanks. It's mine," she says. He looks closer and realizes there are pictures of her parents and her siblings on her drawer and a few other items, such as books, video games, CD's.
"Shall we start?" she asks and he nods. "What's your favorite dish?"
"Eggplant parmesan with garlic bread. My grams made the best. Mom tried it a few times but it never was the same," he says a little sad.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Tris says and gently caresses his hand that is resting next to his body.
"How did you know she's gone?" he asks surprised.
"You talked about her in the past tense and you got sad... I just figured," she says giving him an adorable little smile. Tobias feels his heart skip a bit. He never reacted like this to a girl before. "Besides, what kind of a spy would I be if I couldn't gather intelligence?" she asks smugly and he rolls his eyes. Leave it to Tris to ruin a moment.
"What's your favorite dish?" Tobias asks, genuinely curious.
"Depends. I love pizza, but also cheeseburgers and ravioli," she answers.
They spend more than three hours talking and asking each other questions. By now they have shared trivial facts about each other but also a few personal things. Tobias realizes that underneath the smugness and bitchiness Tris is actually a very nice, intelligent, funny and kind young woman, she just likes to mask it to keep herself from getting hurt. Somehow he gets why. She works and lives in an environment where you have to be always on alert, always watching your back and expect the unexpected.
He actually enjoys talking to her. When she's not a total bitch she can give good advice and he finds she is a great listener too. At some point he just kept talking, which is very unusual for him. When he asked if she is pulling some spy trick on him she smirked and said yes, but he doubts it. Tris, for her part, was interested in what he had to say and share and responded when the situation called for it. She wasn't pushy or overconfident, but genuinely interested in the real him, which in itself is something he, only on rare occasions, experienced. He learned many things about her too. She told him in more details about her time at the Academy, how she always pushed herself harder than necessary because the male students teased her and didn't think much of her, because of her height and of course, gender. She told him about her first few missions on a team and also solo missions. She even confessed something he didn't think he would ever hear her say, let alone to him.
"It was supposed to be an easy mission. My target was supposed to be a middle aged man who expressed his desire to overthrow the government of his country. He initiated several terrorist attacks, usually using suicide bombers. He announced all over that he himself would make the ultimate sacrifice to show the infidels that justice is on his side and he'd bring down all those who are against the true God and his teachings. We got intel from one of our spies that he was planning to strap a bomb to himself, walk into a crowded mall and detonate it, killing hundreds of people. There was a small window to intercept and eliminate the threat. Easy peasy, right? But then my heart stopped when I saw who was actually wearing the vest." Her eyes start to water and Tobias can tell that this is very hard for her. He decides to gather her in his arms and hold her. If she tells him the rest of the story fine, if not that's okay also. He can already tell this is going to be bad.
"That fucking bastard strapped the vest around his own seven-year old son. The boy had a bruised face and he was crying. I could tell he was scared, but he was wearing the bomb and his finger was on the trigger. The moment he would lift it he would detonate the bomb killing everyone in its path." Tris takes a deep breath, as to brace herself for the next part. "I radioed my handler and told him about the new situation and he told me to proceed as ordered. I argued that the situation wasn't the same, that I was forced to kill an innocent child, but no one wanted to listen. I hated them and I hated myself for being there. I knew in my mind that they were right. Once the bomb was inside that mall it would cost far more lives than one seven-year-old and a handful of terrorists. But I just couldn't do it. I hesitated, but then I pulled the trigger and killed the boy." Tris stops, a sob escapes her and she fights really hard not to break down. She grips Tobias' shirt in her right fist, holding onto it for dear life. She is calling back her training, but it's of no use. She always breaks down when she thinks of that day. Tobias is pulling her closer, rubbing her back soothingly. He can't think of anything comforting to say, so he remains silent and tries to offer her his help in any form she needs it. Tris is still angry with herself. The decision was right. But why does it feel so wrong? A shudder makes her spill a few tears and Tobias' feels a hole in the pit of his stomach. He wishes he could do something, anything really, to make this go away for her, but he can't. All he can do is listen and hold her. "He was dead before his small body hit the ground and the bomb went off," she resumes her story, her voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. "In the end the explosion caused the deaths of six terrorists, the ones who escorted the boy, including his bastard father and my real target, but also twenty-four civilians. The collateral damage was apparently acceptable and the agency saw the mission as a success. But all I saw was that little boy." She finishes and starts crying hard, no longer capable to hold anything in.
Tobias wraps himself around her, trying to form a cocoon to protect her from the outside world. He has no idea where this sudden urge to comfort her comes from, but it feels good, it feels right. When her tears subside and Tris calms down enough to sit up, Tobias takes a closer look at the woman he married. The day before he hated her, well not really hated, but he had strong ill feelings about her, but now he could see the real Tris, uncovered, no witty remarks, no stupid comments, no nothing to shield her from him. She was undressed of all these layers and he realized something about her. Beautiful.
"I'm sorry," she says with a snort. "I'm a mess," she says and gets up, walking into her small bathroom. For some reason Tobias follows her inside, telling himself that he wanted to make sure she was alright, which was half true. But he actually couldn't stay away from her. She intrigued him.
"You okay?" he asks leaning against the door frame.
"Yeah," she says looking at him in the mirror. "I'm sorry," she says again.
"Don't be. You needed to say it and maybe not necessarily to me, but out loud," he says with a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah, maybe. Listen," she says and turns around, leaning against the sink. "I'm not really hungry but I want to lie down," she says. He takes that as his cue to leave her alone. He nods and turns around to leave the room. "Would you like to stay here with me? We could talk some more," she says a little shy.
"I thought you wanted to rest," he says raising an eyebrow, but is actually happy she doesn't send him away.
"I said lying down, not sleeping. Besides we are husband and wife we will sleep in the same bed eventually," she says trying to be funny, but Tobias can hear insecurity and something else. He nods. They walk into the room again and both lie down on her bed both on their sides so that they face each other.
Tris is a little unsure of what should happen next. If this were a mission she would have already figured it out. Then again, mission is simple, this is complicated. During a mission she relies on recon and back-up, but this is her private life. And her husband's.
Husband, huh. She didn't really have the time to think of him as her husband. No matter what, they are married now, they entered a partnership and while they agreed to live together and try to get along Tris wondered if that was really possible. She knows she doesn't hate the guy, even though he acted like a real douche in the beginning, but she isn't quite sure how she feels. Her life up until now was black and white and she could deal with the occasional gray. But now that she got married, now that her family knows about her secrets, now that her new father-in-law might be just like her, an Inhuman, now that there is a threat over her family's head – everything changed. More colors, more problems and worst of all no answers, just confusion. And then there's Tobias. She can't erase that kiss they shared during their wedding ceremony out of her mind. She can still feel his firm, yet soft lips against hers, the sweet taste of his tongue mating with hers, the electrifying sensation she felt when they touched. Ugh, why does this have to be so damn complicated? And what if she sees too much into it? He probably doesn't even feel the same.
They just stare at the other not saying anything until Tris continues. Better they get to know each other. After all, they both promised to try and at least be friends. It will also help with their story in case anyone asks. The more details they know about the other, the better. "For the following three months or so I had nightmares every night. Therapy helped and I only got them every other night or once a week. But when the anniversary of that little boy's death came I just lost it. The nightmares came back, even worse than before and I was a mess. If it weren't for my friends here I don't know what would have happened to me, Tobias. I was in a really dark place and I just couldn't see a solution," she says and Tobias looks at her curiously.
"Did you think of," he starts asking but stops himself. He can't believe she would even think of doing that. He knows he only met her a month ago, but what he saw so far, especially these past twenty-four hours, made him realize what a strong and brave woman she is.
"Kill myself?" Tris asks and he nods slightly. "It was tempting, but no. I was afraid to go back out in the field. Not because of me, but I was afraid I might mess up and someone innocent gets caught in the crossfire. I couldn't let that happen. Eventually, after countless therapy sessions and all my friends cheering the shit out of me I got back on my feet," she says with a small smile. "I remembered why I even joined SHIELD in the first place. Then New York happened and then, surprise, Hydra came out of the shadows and here we are. Oh, and I got married to this handsome douche," she says smirking. For a moment Tobias wonders who she married before he remembers he'sthe douche. Hey, hang on. Did she just compliment me? He grins widely and before he can stop himself he leans in and kisses her lips. It's soft, sweet and chaste, but it's just as electrifying as the one they shared yesterday when the minister pronounced them husband and wife. When Tris doesn't pull back Tobias licks her bottom lip asking her to open her mouth which she does. He thrusts his tongue inside it and mates it with hers. When Tris moans Tobias gets more and more uncomfortable in his pants and leans back slightly, breaking their heated kiss. Tris looks at him confused, but also aroused.
"I'm sorry," he says breathless.
"For what?" she asks just as breathless.
"I took advantage of your vulnerable state," he says.
"Tobias, it was just a kiss and we are two consenting adults. And if you ever call me vulnerable again I'll kick you stupid," she says jokingly. He thinks.
Sneak Peek Chapter 6: Friends with benefits?
She wraps her hand around his shaft and at the contact Tobias gasps. Tris looks up at him and sees that he has his eyes closed. She smirks and starts pumping her hand up and down his length making him shudder under her touch. She stops moving her hand and Tobias looks down confused. Tris grins and darts her tongue out before licking him from base to tip. She swirls her tongue around the head before taking him in as much as she can. Tobias moans loudly at the sensation of her lips around his sensitive cock. He grabs a fistful of her hair and Tris takes this as her cue to start working. She bobs her head up and down his length gagging every once in a while when his large cock hits the back of her throat. He is really big, bigger than any other she had before. She makes up for what can't get attention from her mouth with her hand. She helps him race toward the invisible edge of bliss and when he swells slightly she knows he is close. She increases her pace and plays with his balls and that's his undoing. He comes loud, moaning her name and spilling his hot load deep into her throat. Tris eagerly drinks every last bit of it and sucks him off before releasing him with a loud popping sound.
A/N: Please review. As always, updates on Mondays. Love you all, my brave agents.