Allison and Isaac spent the next few minutes telling us about how these masked men have already appeared once before. That last night they were in Allison's bedroom and attacked Isaac. But Chris asked them not to say anything to us yet. He, for some reason, thinks they are after him. Clearly, that's not the case.

They aren't killing us, yet, but they are marking the ones they do manage to get a hold of. Ethan, Aiden, Isaac, and Lydia all have a small mark behind their left ear. It's like a backwards number 5. When Chris wasn't picking up, Scott, Allison, and Isaac went to go find and talk to him. I also found out that the girl Scott was with was named Kira. Scott said he'd drop her off on the way.

Ethan and Aiden left, leaving me with Emma, Aaron, and Derek. Emma had been tuning everyone out, it seemed. She was busy staring at her phone. Once the others had left, she put her phone away and looked at me. "I'm gonna head home," she said, her eyes glancing at Derek. "Check on Charlie."

"Okay," I nodded. And then she was gone. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. And now it's just the three of us. You could feel the awkward in the air the whole time. Everyone kept shooting glances at me and at Derek. I think they were waiting for something to happen. But I'm still not sure what to say.

"So," Aaron walked up to me. He stood in the middle of me and Derek, like he was going to be the mediator. "Do you want me to stay? Do you want me to go?" Aaron looked at me as my eyes dropped to the ground. "Do you even want to talk to Derek, right now, 'cause you don't have to say a word, if you don't want?"

"No. I want to talk."

"Great," he clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "I'll wait right outside the door, so just holler if you need me. Okay?" I nodded. He patted Derek are the shoulder as he walked past him.

"Thanks, Aaron," he said. And then we stood in silence, about ten feet apart. I crossed my arms, not sure what else to do. "How are you?"

I looked at him. "Confused." That pretty much summed everything up. "Did they tell you?"

"That you pretty much don't remember anything? Yeah."

"They've tried to tell me everything, but," I sighed. "It's a lot, and it's hard to get the facts straight."

"It's okay. That part's even hard for us, sometimes."

"So where were you?"

"I took my sister, Cora, to South America. I would've been back sooner-" he paused, "-but I got a little tied up."

I nodded, thinking. "So, um…Scott and Stiles, they've all told me that we were together." I figured I'd just break the ice. Rip the band-aid off. "I don't remember-"

"I'm not expecting you to," he said. "I've been getting the feeling you knew this was going to happen."

"What makes you say that?"

He walked across the room and grabbed his coat. "Mainly what you said to me when I last saw you." He reached into one of the pockets and pulled out a book. The covers where a pearl white that glistened when light hit it. "But also this."

He walked up to me and held it out. I looked at it, cautiously, then at him. "What is it?"

"It's your bestiary."

"Why do you have it?"

"I found it in the front seat of your car, after you vanished."

I took the book from him, eyeing it the whole time. Like it might come to life and eat me, or something. I opened it, thumbed through the pages. Then I looked at him. "The pages are blank."

"I know." He backed up, as if he could see how uncomfortable I felt with him so close to me. "When you went to fight Tobias that night, you had a plan. That plan didn't seem to include the bestiary. I wasn't surprised to see that it's pages were blank. But I was curious why you brought it with you. That's when I took a closer look at the pages."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at the pages with your other eyes, your real ones," he said. I opened the book, letting my eye glow green, and stared at the pages. Words appeared on the pages, they just couldn't be seen with human eyes. But it wasn't English, or any other language, for that matter. But I knew what it was. "You told me once that you can use unicorn tears in place of ink, but the words wouldn't be visible to humans."

"Unicorn tears?" I questioned. "How?"

He chuckled. "I don't know. You didn't tell me that part. The words aren't written in any language known to man. That's when I remembered you telling me that you and your friend came up with your own language, so you could tell each other things without people over hearing you."

"Emma," I whispered her name, the memory coming back to me. We came up with that when we were kids. Why would I have told him that? But how else would he have known?

"I think that you knew you'd lose your memory, and that that book would be left blank. So you wrote over the words with the invisible ink."

I thought, then gestured to the book. "Can you read it?"

"No, you didn't teach it to me," he said, and I believed him.

"Okay, um…thank you for giving it back."

"I hope it has, at least, some of the answers you're looking for."

This whole thing has felt weird. I'm still not sure what to do about it. "What…what did I say to you, the last time we talked?"

"You wanted me to believe that you could kill Tobias on your own." But he paused. "And to trust that somehow you'd come back to me."

My next question, I tried to sound as genuine as possible. "Did I love you?"

The question seemed to take him off guard, but he still answered fairly quickly. "Yes."

"Did you love me?" I asked. That's when I saw something change behind his eyes. It was the realization of what I was asking him, the realization of the situation we were both now in. The fact that I don't remember all the times he might have said 'I love you', or all the times he acted on them. The fact that I don't remember him.

"Always."

That seemed like the only thing he's said that he was sure of. I looked away, mulling it over. This is when I want one of those flashback moments to happen. I want the room to fade away and have it take me to a place that shows me all of this, what we were. To a place I should remember.

A few moments passed before I said anything. It helped that he wasn't getting impatient with me. He seemed to understand that I had to really think everything through. But the vision I saw of Scott, Stiles, Derek, and me at the high school, when I heard Scott's roar – it was different then.

We were different, Derek and I. He was literally fighting me. And I was letting him. Because he wasn't believing what I was trying to tell him, and that was more important. That he believed me. In that moment, I looked like that was all I cared about.

And then just a little while ago, I had a different flashback/vision thing. In this one, Derek and I were friends, it seemed. He looked at me a lot differently than he had. All the contempt he had was gone. And even now, standing right in front of me, he's looking at me yet another way.

"It's going to take me a while to figure all this out," I said. "But, I'd like to find out for myself why it is I felt that way about you." It seemed like he wasn't expecting me to say that, but he was pleased with it. Maybe he was expecting me to want nothing to do with him.

But everything else Scott and Stiles and everyone have been telling me seems to be true. Why would the part about Derek be wrong? I just need to know more. No one knows what our relationship was like, except Derek and me. And since I can't remember, I'm going to have to trust that what he tells me is true.

"Can I ask you something?" I said, and he nodded. "Be patient with me?"

He smiled. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you." I offered a weak smile, still unsure of this whole thing, and then I left. I met Aaron outside the door. Honestly I forgot he was waiting for me. We headed down to the parking lot and then climbed into the truck. I guess Emma must've walked home.

Aaron didn't ask about how it went. He was actually pretty quiet. But I'm sure he was listening. He seems like the type of person who doesn't miss out on the juicy details. But he didn't act like he knew anything. Which was nice. I really didn't want to talk to him about it, I was too busy thinking.

It wasn't until we got home that he spoke. I saw him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. "You okay?"

I looked at him, giving him the best smile I could muster right then. "I will be."

He glanced down at the book in my lap. "What do you think it says?"

"I don't know." I held it up so I could see it better. "But it's my hand writing."

"Okay, well…get to reading, I guess," he said. We both got out of the truck. Aaron stayed near the end of the driveway, as his car was waiting for him.

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I guess it depends on if you want me to stay."

I sighed. "You can't base your life around me. I don't know what I want."

"Said every girl ever," he smiled. "And, yeah, I can."

"Why would you?"

"Because that's what you did for me." He turned around and walked to his car. I watched him walk to the driver's door. Then he stopped and looked at me. "Go read."

"I know," I chuckled.

"Call me, though, if it says something stupid."

"Like what?"

"Like if it starts with 'A long time ago, in a galaxy-"

"Far far away'," I smiled at the shocked look on his face. "What? I didn't spend all my childhood hiding in the woods."

"Yeah, but," he leaned into the car, clearly thinking. "I thought that was an 'old you' thing." He thought again. "Huh. I feel offended, now."

"Okay…?" I wasn't sure where he was going with this. I was very glad I wasn't in his mind.

"Why'd you let me think you'd never seen them before?"

I tossed out my arms. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Oh, yeah." He sighed, like he was going to cut his losses. "Oh, well. But I doubt you've ever seen the first three episodes."

"They made more?"

"Ha!" he pointed at me. "We're doing a movie night, one of these days. Mark my words!"

"Okay," I laughed. "Bye, Aaron."

"Later!" He ducked into the car like his life depended on it. I turned and walked up to the house. I used the key to get in; I wasn't going to bother with knocking. I was glad to see that Emma was home, and with Charlie. But she wasn't looking at me. Actually, she was avoiding all eye contact with me.

I walked up to the island and sat, putting the book in front of me. She was in front of the sink, finishing putting the dishes away from the drainer. "Was Charlie awake when you got home?"

"No." And that was it. One word was all I got from her.

"Em, I think we need to talk."

"Did you talk to Derek?"

I was instantly confused. "Yes. But that doesn't have to do with anything. I want to know why you're acting the way you are."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean that right there. You're countering everything I say."

She closed the cupboard as she looked at me. "I have nothing to say."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"What happened to 'I'll tell you later'?" I asked.

She sighed and leaned into the counter opposite me. "It's nothing. Really. You just had me on edge while you were gone."

"Are you sure that's it?"

"I promise. That's everything." She glanced down at the book. "What's that?"

"Just something Derek gave me," I stood, grabbing it. "It's nothing." What is going on with her? I don't think she's telling me the truth. But why would she lie? I went into my room and changed. You know, into something that didn't show as much skin.

Then I grabbed the book and my coat and headed for the door. "I have something I need to take care of," I announced as I walked into the living room. "Do I need to take Charlie with me or can you watch him?" Emma was sitting on the couch, reading a book.

"Well, he is your responsibility." She didn't even look at me when she said it. I wanted to say something, but I knew I'd regret it. So, instead, I walked up to Charlie. I hyped up that we were going somewhere, trying to make it sound better to leave his toys.

But he had a light brown, stuffed T-Rex that he was attached to, and I knew I'd never get it away from him, so I let him bring it. It was cute. It was in the sitting position with large feet that had dark brown dinosaur footprints on the bottom of them. But it did make me wonder how it is that kids pick their favorite toy.

I led him out to the truck and then lifted him up into it. Then I went around to the driver's side. Yes, I know. I still don't remember driving. But I'm hoping Emma was right about that whole muscle memory thing. I climbed up into the driver's seat and then got Charlie buckled in next to me.

Then I faced the steering wheel. I've seen both Emma and Aaron do this. It can't be that hard. Right? I put the key in the ignition and turned it until I heard the engine roar to life. I pressed in the brake, slid it into reverse. And then I was on my way. Yes, I hit the neighbor's trash cans as I backed up.

And, no, I don't think they mind. The cans were empty. But the rest seemed smooth. Traffic lights were hard to time, but no one honked and no one died. Where I wanted to go wasn't too incredibly far, but far enough that I didn't want to walk.

I just wouldn't be able to focus at the house. All I'd be thinking about is Emma. I know she's hiding something. I'm just not sure why she won't tell me. I arrived at my destination, alive. I got out of the truck and then grabbed Charlie. I walked to the warehouse, sliding the bay door open.

I felt around for the light, flipping it on as soon as my fingers touched it. In front of me was what used to be my car, and is now scrap metal. Though the boys are still trying to fix it. It looks like they fixed some more of the dents, the windshield is put in, and they're about to put in an engine. Though it still needs more. And I still think it's a waste of time.

I sat Charlie down, taking his hand, and walked up to the car. I'm not sure why, but this was the first place I thought of when I thought about getting out of the house. Despite the fact that I was just gone for a couple days. But I thought I would find the Nemeton and it would help me, or something.

So, here I am…with a no-longer-magical book, a kid that's not mine, and a broken down car. This is what plan B looks like. The inside of the car was still intact. I opened the back door and looked inside. The interior was just fine. So…they either already fixed it or nothing was ever wrong with it.

I sat Charlie on the backseat, making sure he had his stuffed animal. Then I closed the door and walked to the driver's side. The handle was still tapped and the window was still broken. But they fixed the steering wheel. Go figure. I reached through the window and grabbed the handle on the other side of the door.

I let the door swing open, watching it. I sat in the front seat, gingerly. I knew the car wasn't going to do anything to me, but something felt slightly unsettling. I pulled both my legs in the car and closed the door. I sat the bestiary on the seat next to me.

I know I can't go anywhere with this thing, but I'd like to try to. In my mind, I mean. I know that sometimes, people will remember something if they retrace their steps. This is what I was in the night I fought Tobias. According to Scott, the last time Derek saw me I was at my house and going to leave to go wherever Tobias was.

How did I know where he was, though? Scott said that they never told me where the Nemeton was. Well, for that matter, how did I just find it in the woods? How'd I know it'd be there? I sighed, glancing back at Charlie, absentmindedly. I put my hands on the wheel as weird feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. My eyes glowed and the scenery in front of me changed.

(EMMA'S POV)

I remained on the couch, the same place I was when she left. I'm being so stupid, I know. But I can't help it. I don't know what to do. I've been lying to her this whole time. How do you think she'll take finding out the truth? Terribly, that's how. And then I will literally have no one. Well, almost no one.

The front door opened and Derek walked into the house. "Figures," I scoffed. "She gave you a key." It was a statement that came out sounding more like a question. I sighed and stood, walking up to him with arms crossed. "She's not here."

"I know."

"Then why are you?"

"Because I want to know what you're really doing here."

"Was that a question? Or a demand?"

"Don't get smart with me," he said. "I'd like to hear your side before I go to Kit."

I frowned. "Go ahead. She'll tell you the same thing I will. I came here looking for her."

"No." He shook his head with a smug look on his face that said he already knew everything. "That's not it."

"Really?" I wanted to sound intimidating, but at the same time, I didn't want this to turn into a fist fight. That's something I probably wouldn't win. "Don't know where you got that idea." I turned to walk away.

"Well, I know at least one thing Kit doesn't."

I whipped around. "And what's that?"

"You're pregnant."

I wanted to say something witty to counter it, maybe get mad. But I couldn't. The proof was in the pudding. And that pudding is my stomach and it has it's own heart beat. So I retracted. "When did you figure it out?"

"The other night when I came here and you told me to leave," he said it without sounding mad. He wasn't angry with me, but there was something in is voice, I just couldn't place it. "I assume the boy with you was Charlie, Blair's son." I nodded. "I don't care why you lied to me. But I want the truth. Now."

"That's it," I shrugged. "My only secret."

"You expect me to believe that something's not preventing you from telling Kit? Last night you did everything possible to get away from those things, and I'm assuming it wasn't the first time you've chosen yourself over someone else."

"What are you trying to get at?"

"That your secret is going to get people hurt, and it doesn't make any sense why you're going to such lengths to keep it." He wasn't going to stop until he had the answer. "So, I'm only going to ask you one more time. Why are you really here?"

(KIT'S POV)

I was still sitting in the front seat of my car, but I was in front of the high school. And Aaron sat next to me. This time was different. I wasn't watching another me do things. I was doing the things. Aaron grabbed the handle and popped the door open like his life depended on it. I grabbed the sleeve of his coat. "Aaron," I said and he sighed. The words came out of my mouth without me telling them too. He looked at me. "Remember-"

"'Everything you've taught me'." He sighed. "I know."

"This is different." I couldn't make myself stop talking. It's like I wasn't in control of my own body. "Call me, for whatever reason."

"I know."

"Or Derek."

"I know."

"But if something's happening and you need help faster than I can get there-"

"Call Scott." He smiled, un-amused.

"And Isaac. Stiles and Lydia will help you, too."

He looked straight forward with a groan. He finally looked at me. "Okay."

"Okay," I nodded. Still, I wasn't in control. I wasn't in my own front seat. Something else was.

He pulled out his phone and held it out to me. "Do you want to double check my numbers, I might be missing a digit."

I laughed and pushed him out the door. He laughed, too, grabbed his bag and then headed for the school. I sighed. What is going on? I put my hand on the key. Someone's reflection caught me in the eyes and I looked up to see who it was. I saw someone standing in the parking lot between a few parked cars.

At first, it was blurry. And then suddenly it became clear. He became clear. I saw his face and it was like something squeezed my heart. I recognized him from Aaron's photo album. He was Tobias. The scenery in front of me changed. I saw the dark night sky; I saw the stump that was the Nemeton; the wind was picking up and the ground around it was starting to collapse. And I saw Tobias, again.

And just as fast, I was back at the warehouse, sitting in a car that didn't work. I was out of breath, my hands squeezing the wheel so hard my knuckles were white. I quickly let it go, like I knew I wasn't supposed to be touching it. I twisted to see Charlie. He was sitting quietly with his toy.

I sighed and turned forward, my eyes landing on the bestiary beside me. Why did I bring it with me? Did I actually need it to fight Tobias? Or was I hoping Derek would find it? Maybe I didn't want it getting lost. But what if I died and Tobias lived? Maybe he would have taken it?

I grabbed it, admiring the pearl colored covers. And then I opened the book and began reading:

Dear Beckett-Ann,

Or at least, that's what you'll call yourself. But that's not you. Not anymore. If I'm right, you'll only remember everything up until that day, the day you touched the Nemeton. If I'm wrong, you'll be dead and this is a complete waste of my time.

But, let's assume I was right, and you are reading this. I wrote this in the language that Emma and I came up with when we were kids, so that you'd know it was actually me writing it. I'm sure my friends and family have already told you a lot. Maybe everything they know.

But I'm going to start from the top. For one, Scott, Stiles, Derek, everyone – they're all telling you the truth. About everything. That day, in the woods, you saw a tree stump called the Nemeton. When you touched it, you were turned into the Kirin and taken back in time to 1829.

There, you met the Kirin before you, John Williams (but he's had many names). You posed as his daughter and took his last name. You also started going by Beckett, as that better fit the times. That day, you became Beckett Williams. You forgot about the Pride, Emma, the future. Your new responsibility was much greater than all that.

And after John died, you kept his name in honor of him. He was the father you always wanted, a man worthy of respect. You were then alone for many years. Of course you made friends and had jobs, but you never told anyone what you were. No one ever knew you like John did.

But, in those days, a woman didn't live alone. Afraid someone would look a little closer at you, in 1894, you married a man named Michael Grant. Your name at the time was Sara Mills. But then you changed it to Sara Grant after you married him.

But, like John, you've had many names. Abigail Roth in 1875. Mary Foster in 1901. Beckett Grant in 1925. Hanna Westworth in 1936. Miley Jones in 1954. Rachelle Smith in 1971. Ann Jess in 1983. Rose Mills in 1999. And then you went back to Sara Grant in 2002, when you met and stayed with the Hales. You kept it until about 2011, when you went back to Beckett Williams after telling everyone you were the Kirin.

Now, back to Michael. He was a nice young man, whom you pretended to love. You only needed him to help you fit in. For that time, the wife was supposed to provide her husband with children. You were hesitant, but you did. You had two daughters with him, Hope and Holly.

In 1901, something happened and in order to protect them you had to reveal who you were. Michael was afraid and didn't understand. He took the girls and left. You ran, changing your name and getting as far away as you could. You never saw any of them ever again.

But you were pregnant. You didn't want to raise a child on the run and with the life you had. So you let him go. You named him after his father and left him with a family you spent months looking for. They were a nice couple who couldn't have their own children due to an injury the husband sustained during war. Their names were April and Jefferson Alan.

Through all your journeys, you couldn't stay away. You wanted to know what happened to him. He wasn't supernatural. He became a lawyer, valuing work over life. He died in 1974, after retiring, killed by one of the men he'd help put away. Then in 2002 you stayed with the Hales.

You then joined the Argents, months before the fire that killed the Hales. You knew Kate most likely did it, but proving it was impossible at the time. But you had nothing to do with it. You blame yourself for not preventing it, but you couldn't have known what she was going to do.

You only stayed with the Argents out of need, like when you married Michael. But then Sam (who you thought was your cousin) asked you to join his pack and help him run it. You had found out you had blood relatives in 1998. You and Ben pieced it all together. You were their babysitter in 1997, when Aaron was a baby and your Aunt Lily had just died.

You gladly joined Sam's pack. You met Tobias Fletcher at high school shortly after. You built a life together. He made you think he loved you. But he didn't. You weren't the same after the day Tobias betrayed everyone and killed your pack. You didn't know, but Blair survived. Tobias forced himself on her and they ended up having Charlie.

You shut yourself off from the world after Tobias. You moved in with Ben, in Beacon Hills. Almost instantly after, Scott was bitten. And you did what you were supposed to, you helped him. But you didn't know how much of a challenge this one would be. Or, how worth it it was.

You never counted on Stiles or Derek being involved. You didn't expect Peter and the Argents, either. You did your best and outlived both Peter and Kate. But, I'm sure you know, Peter's back. But Kate did something to you that caused your powers to turn off for a while.

Derek became an Alpha when he killed Peter. He then started a pack of his own; Jackson, Isaac, Erica, and Boyd. Jackson became a Kanima, but he's now a werewolf. Erica and Boyd are both dead. Isaac remains, but he never really was with Derek. Derek gave up being the Alpha to save his sister, Cora. That's a long story. Scott, I'm sure, is an Alpha, or will be soon. Trust Scott, he isn't a True Alpha for nothing.

But when you moved in with Ben, and came back to Beacon Hills, you did something you thought you'd never do again. You fell in love. And this time, with someone who truly loves you. He won't betray you like Tobias did. Yes, you've had your ups and downs. I didn't say you two were perfect. But you accept each other for who you are. Don't forget that he's the one you love; and have since the day you first met him.

There are about a million things I could tell you, all things you wish you could take back. But the truth? You wouldn't be who you are without those things. Everything, good and bad, it all made you who you are – were. It made you someone you were proud of. Someone you wanted to be. The best version of yourself.

But all of this…it only matters if you want it too. You have to want this life. I didn't at first. But you're not the Kirin. You're finally a white tiger. And you can do whatever you want with your life. Just don't forget Beacon Hills. Don't forget the people whose lives you changed, the people you love.

I don't know if I'm going to survive this. But if I do…it won't be for me. I'll be living for them. For every Beta I've ever helped. For Scott, Stiles, Isaac, and Lydia. For Sam and Aaron. For the man I love. And for Charlie…the boy I've never met, but can't wait to raise.

You might not remember, but don't let those one hundred ninety three years have been for nothing. The past hasn't changed just because you don't remember it. You've sacrificed a lot, and so have others to protect you. You got the fresh start you dreamed of. The problem: you didn't really know what you wanted until a few minutes ago; right when you're about to give it all up.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: the flashback scenes are from Chapter 2: Flame, and Chapter 20: End Game; of Guardian: This Might Hurt (Bk 3a)