Holly pulled into the lot and climbed out, barely getting the car in park and turning it off before rushing out and running and jumping into Jax's arms, holding him tightly and crying into his shoulder.
"Nero called me while the firefighters were working and I got scared hearing the sirens and flames."
"I'm fine. Everyone's whole. I promise, babe."
She cried into his shoulder, not letting him let her go when he tried.
"I could've lost you. I feel like I almost did."
"Hey. I need you to look at me."
She met his eyes as he cupped her face, feeling him wipe her tears away with his thumbs.
"You weren't even close to losing me. I wouldn't do that to you. You should know by now that you and those kids are what keep me going."
She sniffled and nodded, kissing him softly and passionately for a minute before letting him go.
"Where are the kids?"
"Still at home with Rat. he was still asleep on the couch when I left."
"Ok. Why don't you head back to the house. Ope's gonna go see Lyla. Take Tig with you."
"Do you want me to tell Rat?"
"Yeah. Tell him to get back here."
"Was this the Irish?"
"I have a feeling this was Gaalen. But I'll call and get the story."
"If this was the Kings…..I'll kill all of them myself."
Holly sat down at the dining room table with Jax and the guys, hearing Lyla sitting and playing with all the kids in the other room as Jax called the Kings.
"I thought we still had another day?"
"You do. Unless you ordered our clubhouse to be blown up. In which case, not only is the deal void, but you will have started the war I told you I didn't want."
"What are you talking about, Jax?"
"Someone sent a bomb to our clubhouse! Nearly killed our members and friends and families! Either you authorized that shit or Gaalen did this behind your back!"
"Calm yourself, Holly. We didn't authorize this."
"Then Gaalen did this behind your back."
"It appears that way."
"The council is still debating your offer."
"I talked to my uncle last night and he's on board with this, but he wants to meet you. But I'm incredibly hesitant to set this shit up after what just happened. One of your men sent a goddamned bomb to the clubhouse and almost killed a lot of people. He's throwing a fucking tantrum and I'm about to stick my neck out for you?"
"We'll send you Gaalen."
"It might be too late on that front, Rourke. If he's done this, than he's probably going into hiding."
"We'll smoke him out. Set the meeting with your uncle, lass."
Holly sat in the van with Rat, crossing her legs under her as he drove.
"How do you deal with it, Holly?"
"Deal with what?"
"All the shit you've been through. Opie told me a lot about what you've been through. Anyone else would've bolted by now. How do you stay whole?"
"I started letting it all fuel me instead of crush me. It doesn't always work. Jax and I have fought about a lot of it and we've spent a lot of time talking about shit. But one day I decided I had to change. It would've destroyed me if I had let things continue the way they were. So instead of letting myself break when something happened, I let it make me angry. And I let that anger motivate me to do better. For myself, my kids and Jax."
She looked over when she heard police sirens, cursing under her breath.
"The guys don't have protection."
She looked at Rat for a second before he drove off. She watched from a distance at the interaction, cursing loudly when Juice started beating the officer. When the guys drove off, she made Rat drive off too, waiting until they got close enough to Juice before going over to open the door so Juice could jump in, closing the door when he was inside. She stayed in angry silence until they got to Jury's. When they got there, she was the first to climb out, waiting for Juice to climb out before smacking him hard.
"What the fuck, Holly?"
"I can understand you beating on that officer. I know a crooked cop when I see one. But you could've gotten yourself fucking killed. And after what happened to the clubhouse, things are crazy and up in the air. There's a lot we don't know. But the one thing I do know is that I will not lose any one of you. You fuckers mean too much to me to bury you."
She walked over to Jax, letting him pull her into him, feeling him kiss her head.
"Relax, babe. He's fine."
She just rolled her eyes, hugging Jury when he came over.
Holly looked over as Jax came over to her, sitting on a fallen tree trunk, looking back on the pond she was sitting in front of, taking a drag from her joint, handing it to him as he sat down.
"You ok, babe? You haven't talked to anybody since you smacked Juice and then I get told you went off on your own while we were all in church. What's going on in that brain of yours."
She smacked his hand away when he tried to move her hair out of her face, stomping out the joint before looking at him.
"Something happens to me and I've gotten to the point where I get angry and use that anger to help you or the kids or the club or get something done that needs to be done. But something happens to you and I panic. I can't help but wonder if the next time you walk out the door is the last time I would ever see you alive. I can't breathe until I see you're breathing with my own eyes. I've never felt this way about anyone before. And that scares me. You've turned me into a watered down version of the woman I killed and I don't care. I've gotten used to all the shit. I know you're changing the club, but I'm having a hard time seeing how I'm ever gonna be able to get back to who I was. Because while I don't mind being Gemma while you're still running guns, I don't see the point of being her if things aren't gonna be so up in the air. But I've been this way for so long that I need help going back to who I was before."
She looked at him with tears swimming in her eyes as she searched his face.
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable in your body, Holly. But I don't want you to go back to who you were. And not because I didn't love you then or because I have some weird mommy thing. I don't want you to go back because I love seeing how strong you are. You've changed in such a great way, Holly and everyone's picked up on it. The Holly you used to be was an amazing girl and I loved her. But the Holly you've turned into is the best. You're strong for me and the kids when we need it, you take care of us and the guys, but you take the time to take care of yourself. We're not the same people we were back then and I don't want to be those people again. You were so broken after everything and now you're whole again. Who you are now is why I'm trying so much harder to get the club out of guns. The woman that's taking care of our kids and giving them the life they deserve. The woman that's become my whole world. That means more to me than my own life."
She looked at him, attaching her lips to his, wrapping her arms around him as she straddled his legs, holding on as he picked her up, laying her out of the ground, making out with her as he started taking off her clothes.
Holly stood back with Jax and the guys, letting Bobby keep her close as Jax and Happy went to go get Juice's bike back. She looked down at her phone when it went off, going over to the van as she saw Venus' number.
"V? You ok?"
"Have you seen Nero?"
"You don't know. Um….He got arrested. We're trying to get him out, but we kinda hit a wall."
"Oh. I was hoping to talk to him."
"Venus, are you ok? You sound sad."
"I kind of am, sugar bear."
"Are you at Diosa now?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Why don't you hang out there, spend the night and I'll pick you up when I get home?"
"Where are you?"
"Jax and I went up to Indian Hills, Nevada to visit a friend. We're staying the night and leaving in the morning."
"If you're busy…."
"I'm not. We did what we needed to do."
"If you're sure. How are you? I know it's been a while since we talked."
"I've been good. Just working and being a mom. You should see the kids. They've all gotten so big. When I pick you up tomorrow, I'll bring you back to the house to see them."
She looked over when Tig called her name.
"I gotta go. Have a drink, stay in Nero's room and relax, V."
"I will. Thank you, sugar bear."
She hung up and followed the guys in, looking around at the bikes. They were all so beautiful. When the cops from earlier got there after Jax called them, she stood next to Jax, biting back a laugh as she listened to Jax. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't turned on by him at that moment. But when he made the cops apologize to the guys, she couldn't take it anymore, taking his hand and leading him back inside, kissing him deeply as she undid his jeans, pushing them down before taking off her shorts and panties, letting him bend him over one of the bikes, the open door going forgotten by the both of them as Jax pushed into her, making her moan as he bottomed out inside of her. She dug her nails into the leather of the bike seat as Jax pounded into her, making her moan loudly, feeling him hold out onto her hips tightly. She pulled away as she started getting close, moving over to one of the stacks of leather covered cushions, laying down on top of it.
"Fuck me in the ass, baby."
She gripped his arms as he pushed into her ass, her eyes rolling back a bit as she cried out his name, arching her back as he started thrusting into her, her fingers tangling in his hair, tugging. She was so close, falling over the edge with a loud scream when he rubbed her clit with his thumb, her pussy clenching around nothing as she screamed his name, her screams echoing off the walls as he found his own release. It took a minute for her to catch her breath, getting up to get dressed once she came down from her high, smiling and kissing him as they walked out to his bike, ignoring the comments as she climbed on the back of his bike, holding on as he rode off, smiling to herself.