I was lying in my bed, sound asleep. And then my phone went off. It was alerting me to a text message. Which would have been fine. But I was sleeping with Charlie next to me. I frantically woke at the first note in the jingle. I reached for my phone on the night stand. But I missed it, and instead sent it flying across the room.

It crashed on the floor, the backing coming off and the battery popping out. I cringed. I didn't want to look at Charlie. But when I did, he was still sleeping. I sighed with relief and then gingerly got out of bed. I walked across the room and gathered all the pieces to my phone.

I slid the battery into the phone and put the backing on. I flipped it over and held down the power button. While it did it's start up thing, I left the bedroom and walked out to the living room. I plopped on the couch, realizing just how late/early it was, as my phone was finally awake.

I had gotten a text from Stiles. That's odd. Why would I get a text from him this late? He and Scott usually just come over when they want something. Maybe something's wrong. I opened the text, not sure what I'd find. All it was was one word. And it was so stupid, I had to say it out loud. "'Hel'?"

I reread it a million times. The word 'Hell' has two L's not just one. I lowered the phone, looking out across the living room thinking. "'Hel'?" I said it one more time, looked at the phone again. This didn't make sense. So why did I have that déjà vu feeling?

I dropped the phone in my lap and looked up just as the scenery changed. I was no longer in the living room. I was sitting in a car, behind the wheel. But it wasn't my car, the one the boys are trying to fix up. This was a more compact car. But my head was tilted, my ears were tuned.

"A recipe," Allison's voice rang in my ears. I have no idea where she is. I'm sitting in a neighborhood. Maybe this is where she lived before she and her dad moved to their current place. "It's a cook book." I heard papers shuffling and hinges squeaking, followed by the turn of a handle and the locking of gears.

And then a phone started ringing. But it wasn't Allison's. "Shut it off! Shut it off!"

"I know, I'm sorry." That was Scott. He then answered the phone. What is going on? Where are they?

"Scott!" It was Stiles. He was on the other end of the phone. He screamed Scott's name, almost frantically.

"I can't talk right now." Scott hung up on him. I readjusted in my seat. Something didn't settle right with me. But this is one of those visions where I can't control my own movements. I'm trapped in this body. The body of a different me. Something buzzed across the seat next to me. I looked down to find a phone I knew was mine. I grabbed it, for some reason thinking it was Scott.

But it was a text from Stiles. All it said was 'Hel'. My eyes went from the phone to the road. And then the living room was back in my view. I stood, abruptly. I know what it means. I looked back at the text on my phone. Something's not right. The rest of that night seemed to be in my mind, but I couldn't bring it to view.

All I knew was that Stiles was in trouble. I quickly walked down the hall and burst into Emma's room. I went to her side, shaking her. "Emma, wake up. I need to go, something's happened." She moaned, reluctant to get out of bed. But she sat up. She rubbed at her eyes, turning on her lamp.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know exactly how I know, but something's wrong with Stiles."

"What?" she looked at me, about as alert as I was going to get. "How do you know?"

"I just said I don't know," I sighed. "I need to go. I need you to watch Charlie."

"Yeah, yeah." She lay back down. "Let me know if I can do anything." I knew if I really needed her she'd wake up. I left the room, grabbing my jacket and the keys. I put on my jacket and then jumped in the car. I need to go to Stiles' house. That's when I realized: I don't know where he lives.

But the old me does. Wow, did I really just think that? Yes, I did. Because it's true. I was once someone else, who I can't remember. That person has been trying to tell me who she was, and right now she's trying to tell me that Stiles is in trouble.

I backed out of the drive way. I let my mind slip into the back and tried not to over think it. Just like when I walked to Scott's. I let déjà vu drive me there. I know that's weird, but it worked. A few minutes later, I pulled up to what I assumed was Stiles' house.

It wasn't Scott's, and Scott's bike was parked outside. I wander if he knows that something's wrong. I walked up to the house, finding the door cracked. I pushed it open and slowly walked into the house. I followed voices down the hall, where I found Scott, Isaac, Lydia, and Aiden in what I'm assuming is Stiles room.

"Party in Stiles' room, huh?" I said as I walked in. Everyone looked at me with shocked eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Scott asked me. "Did he call you, too?"

"Not quite." I pulled out my phone and brought up the text. Then I turned it around to show everyone.

"'Hel'?" Aiden read aloud.

Isaac looked confused. "How did that tell you something was wrong with Stiles?"

"It took me a while to figure it out," I said, looking at the message. "And then I had another vision thing." I looked at Scott. "I was in a car on the side of the road listening to you and Allison. You were somewhere I couldn't see, in one of the houses in the neighborhood. You were talking about a book. Stiles called you and you told him you couldn't talk and hung up on him."

Scott nodded, remembering the time I was talking about. "We were at Allison's, looking for Gerard's bestiary. We were sneaking around in his bedroom, so I couldn't talk right then."

"Right. But then Stiles texted me the same exact word. 'Hel'. He was at the school, trapped in the pool with Derek by the Kanima. 'Hel' meant 'Help'. He just couldn't type it all out."

"But why would Stiles send you the same exact message?" Isaac asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he knew it'd trigger a memory, or something."

"Why didn't you call?" Scott asked.

"I wanted to make sure this wasn't just a prank or something, before I started knocking down doors." I gestured to Lydia and Aiden. "Why are you here?"

"I heard it," Lydia said.

"Don't ask," Aiden quickly said. "It gets more confusing when you ask."

"Not as confusing as this." Lydia stepped to the side so we could see Stiles' bed. Hundreds of photos were pinned to the walls above his bed. Red yarn went from lots of different photos and connected on the bed, where each string was tied to the handle of a pair of scissors which were jammed into his mattress.

"Wow," I said.

"He uses red for unsolved cases."

"Maybe he thinks he's part of an unsolved case," Aiden suggested.

"Or is an unsolved case," Isaac said.

"Hold on." Lydia faced us. "Is he still out there? You don't know where he is?"

"He said he's in an industrial basement somewhere," Scott said.

"We came here to get a better scent," Isaac added.

"What else did he say?" Lydia asked.

"Something's wrong with his leg," Scott said. "It's bleeding."

"And he's freezing," Isaac chimed in again.

"Tonight's the coldest night of the year," Aiden said. "It's going to drop into the 20's."

"What did his dad say?" Lydia asked.

Scott looked around, hesitant to reply. "We kind of…we didn't tell him."

"Stiles is bleeding and freezing and you didn't call his dad?"

"He made me promise not to. We can find him by scent. If he was sleepwalking, he couldn't have gotten far, right?"

"You guys didn't notice his Jeep is gone, did you?" Aiden said.

Lydia pulled out her phone. "You promised you wouldn't tell his dad, I didn't."

"Wait, Lydia, hold on. I can get more help," Scott said. "I can call Derek, Allison-"

"Everyone except for the cops. Great idea."

"You guys remember she only gets these feelings when someone's about to die, right?" Aiden asked. And he had a good point.

"You don't have to call his dad," Scott said. "It's five minutes to the station."

"We'll catch up," Lydia said, holding back Aiden.

"What? Why?"

"There is something here."

"Yeah," Isaac said. "Evidence of total insanity."

Scott sighed. "We can figure out what's wrong with him after we find a way to keep him from freezing to death."

"Go." Lydia looked at us. "We'll be right behind you." Scott, Isaac, and I left the bedroom and made our way out of the house. We walked down the drive way to our cars.

I looked at Scott. "Are you going to call Derek and Allison?"

He nodded. "I think I have to."

"Then I'll call Emma. You two head to the station. I'll go get her," I said. Scott nodded as he got on his bike. I got in my truck and headed for the house as I called Emma. She answered fairly quickly. "Em?"

"Did you find him?"

"No. But Lydia's got a bad feeling."

"Great," she sighed.

"We need your help. Scott spoke with Stiles on the phone. He said he's bleeding and freezing. Aiden said it's supposed to be extremely cold tonight."

"Aiden?"

"Yeah. Isaac's with Scott, and he's calling Derek and Allison. We're getting everyone out looking."

"Okay, well, Charlie's wide awake. What are we supposed to do with him?"

I sighed. This kid thing was starting to get annoying. "I guess we have to bring him." I pulled up to the house a few minutes later. Emma and Charlie piled in, Charlie with his stuffed dinosaur in hand. She didn't look happy, but she knew the others would do this for her is she was missing. Or, at least, I did.

We headed to the sheriff's station. When we walked in the station, the Sheriff didn't seem to be taking the news very well. From what I know, his son is all he has. Stilinski looked at Scott and Isaac, his back turned to us as we walked in. We stopped a few feet from them, Charlie on my hip.

"If his Jeep is gone, that's where we start," the Sheriff said. He then looked at the deputy sitting behind the desk next to him. "Parrish, let's get an APB out on a blue 1980 CJ-5 Jeep." Then he looked at the next deputy. "Cordova, I want a list of any kind of industrial basement or sub-level of any building that he could've gotten into while sleepwalking."

Then he addressed everyone. "It's the coldest night of the year so far. So if he's out there barefoot, in just a t-shirt, he could already be hypothermic. Let's move fast. Let's think fast." He looked at Scott and Isaac. "The two of you, come with me." Then he turned and saw us. "You, too."

We followed them into the Sheriff's office. He closed the door, turning to face us. "Okay. Is there anything you need to tell me that I can't tell everybody out there?"

"Lydia and Kit knew he was missing," Scott said.

The Sheriff glanced at me, then back at Scott. "Can Lydia help find him?"

"She's working on it," Isaac said.

The Sheriff looked at me. "How about you?"

"I'll do my best to help sniff him out," I said.

He looked at Scott. "Anything else?"

"I called Derek and Allison for help."

"Okay." He looked at Emma. "And what can you do?"

Emma opened her mouth to reply when someone knocked on the door. It was the deputy the Sheriff called Parrish. He walked in. "We got it, Sir," he said. "We found the Jeep." Suddenly there was a frenzy to get out the door and pile into the nearest car. Stiles' dad was going crazy trying to find him.

I went to follow the others out the door and then stopped. I still had Charlie in my arms. I sighed. I walked over to Parrish's desk. "Parrish, right?" I said.

He looked up. "Yes, Ma'am."

Wow, I feel old, now. "I hate to do this," I spoke as I sat Charlie down on the corner of his desk. "But could you please watch him." He opened his mouth, so I kept talking. "Thank you so much. His name's Charlie." I turned and ran out the door. I jumped into the passenger seat of the truck, Emma behind the wheel.

We tore out of the parking lot to catch up with everyone else. We already knew they were headed to the hospital. I guess Stiles' Jeep was found in the parking lot. "Do you even know that guy?" Emma asked.

"What guy?"

"The guy you just left Charlie with," she scoffed.

"Nope." I didn't have a choice. And she knew that. Bringing him might have been too dangerous. She knows that. We pulled up in front of the hospital as every cop that came was rushing inside the building. I saw Stiles' Jeep sitting across the parking lot.

I got out and walked next to Scott as he entered the hospital. "Anything?"

"The Jeep was dead," he said. "He must've left it."

"But why come here?" Emma said as she caught up.

"That's what we have to find out," Scott replied. I could hear his nervousness in his voice. But I could also smell his fear. He was afraid we wouldn't find him in time. Emma went with the Sheriff down to the basement. I was about to go with her, when my nose stopped me.

I looked at Scott. "You smell that?"

He nodded, as Isaac joined us. "It's Stiles." Scott, Isaac, and I followed the scent. It led us through the hospital and up to the roof. Derek was already there. But that didn't surprise me; I could smell him in the stairwell.

"He's not here," Derek said. "Not anymore."

"You mean the whole building?" Scott asked him.

"Gone."

"I'll go tell Stilinski," Isaac said.

Scott stopped him. "And see if you can find Allison. She's not answering her phone." Isaac turned and left, heading back into the building. Okay, so Stiles isn't here. But where did he go? Scott walked across the roof and stopped next to Derek

"Notice how strong the scent is up here?" Derek asked him. "Ever hear of chemo signals? Chemical signals that communicate emotion. And just our sweat can give off anger, fear, or disgust. Take a deep breath and tell me what you feel." How come Scott doesn't know this already? Why didn't I teach him?

This was one of the first things I learned. My mom said it was an important tool to help determine friend from foe. To know when to run and when to hide. She told me to always trust with my senses, not my feelings. They can lead you astray but your senses are always true. But…is that right?

"Stress," Scott said.

"And anxiety," Derek added.

"What was he doing up here?"

"I don't know. But there was definitely some kind of struggle."

"With who?"

"Himself," Derek replied. Well that's not menacing. I sighed, starting to feel the drop in temperature.

"We have to keep looking," Scott said.

"I'll search the high school." Derek turned to leave.

"I'll go with you." I said it before I knew what I was saying. But I didn't regret it. He looked back at me, just as surprised by my words as I was. But he nodded. I followed him through the hospital and to his car. I texted Emma to let her know where I went. She and Scott were going to stay with the Sheriff.

The car ride was quiet. I wasn't sure what to say. Finding things to say to him seemed to be hard. I'm not sure why. I'm completely open with everyone else. But with Derek…I don't know, I guess I feel pressured to say the right thing. I guess I'm hoping that being around him more will help that feeling go away.

We arrived at the school and then began our search. I think I had a good lock on Stiles' scent, but it's a high school. Do you realize how many teenage boys walk through here daily? Too many. "Did Scott call you?" I resisted the urge to jump at the sound of Derek's voice. I almost forgot he was walking beside me.

"No. I went to him," I replied.

"You knew Stiles was missing?" he asked and I nodded.

"I knew he was in trouble," I corrected. "I just wasn't sure how much."

"How?"

I showed him the text and explained it to him like I had to Isaac, Scott, Lydia, and Aiden. About the vision and the text being the same. How the word seemed to trigger it. That need, that feeling. Somehow my mind associated Stiles' danger with that word. I just want to know how Stiles knew that.

"Do you remember everything about that night?" Derek asked. Neither of us looked at each other. We made our way around the school, 'focusing on finding Stiles'. We both knew he wasn't here. I think we were just stalling.

"I'm not sure. In the vision, all I saw was me receiving the text from Stiles-" I paused in my line of thinking. "But…I don't know. I feel like I know what happened next. But I don't remember it."

"What do you think happened?"

"I came here, to the school. I heard Lydia scream, and then I shifted. I entered the school as a tiger." I spoke as we walked. I wasn't even paying attention to where we were going. Until I smelled chlorine. Derek pushed open a door and walked through it. He held it open for me.

I stepped through, seeing the pool. I numbly walked to the pool, stopping about two feet from it. Then the scenery slightly changed, the light diming as Stiles and Derek appeared in the pool, both looking at me with shock and confusing. I blinked and the pool was empty again.

I looked at Derek beside me, checking to make sure he was still there. Then I looked back at the pool, that different scenery cutting in again. "What do you see?" I heard Derek's words but wasn't really listening. The pool went back to being empty and I sighed, walking away from it.

"Nothing," I said, heading for the door. "Stiles isn't here. We should-"

"Forget about Stiles, for a minute." His tone suggested that he was being impatient, but his face was telling me something else.

I slightly stiffened. "What are you doing, Derek?"

He held out his hand, like he wanted me to take it. "Humor me." I looked at his hand, and then him. A small smile crossed his lips. "It's okay. I don't bite."

I walked toward him. "I take it that's some kind of running joke between us…?"

"Something like that." But his smile said it was more.

I put my left hand if his. He smiled at me, like he was saying 'now, that wasn't so hard, was it?' If he actually said that, I might've had to slap him. Something I could picture the old me doing a lot of. I guess he just has one of those faces. He led me around the pool, to the side of it.

"What else do you remember about that night?" he asked.

"I think I saved you," I replied. But then I quickly added, "You and Stiles." For some reason I felt the need to make sure he knew I wasn't just saving him. "I'm not sure."

"It's okay." He stopped and looked at me. "You don't have to remember every detail." Clearly. It seems that's exactly what he wants. I asked him to be patient with me. Does this look like a man whose being patient? I didn't think so.

I nodded, unsure of my next words. "Then why don't you remind me." I didn't think it could harm anything. I mean, what are the odds that he'd actually say something that could make me remember? Well. Stiles' one word text made me remember. And not only did I remember an event, I remembered a feeling.

"You helped me and Stiles out of the pool," he began. "You made sure we were safe, and then you fought the Kanima."

"As a tiger? Did I even stand a chance?"

"You were pretty beat up, when everything was done. But you held you own, and fought better than I thought you would." He paused in thought. "I knew there was something different about you shortly after we met. I think I suspected you were the Kirin, but I didn't want to believe it."

I cocked my head, curious. "Why?"

"I'm not sure. We kept a lot of secrets. I guess I thought it was better that way."

"So…things between us were worse once you found out?"

"No." He smiled. "Things between us were better when we knew each other, when we were honest." His smile slightly faded and he went back to telling his story. "When this happened here, we had broken up and were not on good terms. And I didn't know that you were the tiger who had just saved us. So, after the Kanima left, so did I. I left you with Scott and Stiles."

I eyed him. "Are you really so desperate for me to remember you, that you want me to remember a time when you were a jerk?"

He smiled, amused with me. "That was nothing. I had other moments that were…worse."

I sighed and looked away, thinking. I finally looked back at him, armed with a new question I knew would take him off guard. "From what I hear, you haven't been the nicest guy in the world. And, I'm told I have a thing for bad boys, but the last time it bit me in the butt." That was an easy statement, followed by a hard question. "So, tell me, Derek, why did I love you?" I shrugged. "Why didn't I learn from my mistake?"

But it didn't take him off guard like I thought it would. It's almost like he was just waiting for me to ask. "I'd asked you that once," he said. "You told me that, there wasn't a thing I could do that would make you think I was Tobias, because I'm not him. You said there were two things in our relationship you were always sure of; that I wasn't Tobias, and that you loved me."

"But why did I love you?"

"I don't know. I'd ask myself that all the time. In the beginning, I had giving you every reason not to. But you did it anyway," he said. I hadn't realized how close we were standing. The dim light in the room reflected off the pool, it's rays dancing across our faces.

He was close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin, it's faint brush doing something to me. I was looking into his eyes, trying to form my next question. And then I realized how stupid this was. I don't even know him. I mean, I don't remember him, the him I loved.

All I have are three memories. In one, he's kicking my butt and we hate each other. In another, we are planning to break into a bank vault, standing side by side and looking at each other longingly. And, now, this newest one. It's just at the tip of my brain, out of my reach.

"I don't remember saving you, and I don't remember why I did it," I said.

"It's okay. It wasn't the first time you'd saved me," he paused. His eyes darted from my eyes to my mouth. "Won't be the last." Why did I fight so hard for a relationship that kept ending in heart break? And then I kept taking him back. Is that what love is? Is it repeated heart break and forgiveness? Or is it just heart break?

He pulled himself away from me, taking several steps back and letting go of my hand. But I could tell that he didn't want to. The action pained him. That much, I could see in his eyes. He was broken on the inside, and not because of whatever happened in the past, but because of what is happening now.

Something in me wanted to hug him, to help make him feel better. I shrugged it off. Why would I do that? Is that what I used to do? Is that feeling what kept me coming back to him? The thought that I could make him feel better? Was he my charity case or my lover?

Our cell phones went off simultaneously. I'm sure it's an update on the search. I pulled out my phone. It was a text from Scott. Melissa and Scott's dad found Stiles. He was in the woods, in Malia's coyote den. They're taking him to the hospital.

After reading the text, I looked at Derek. He must have gotten the same one. Neither of us said anything. The hurt was still there, on his face. I saw it when I first met him at his place, the day of the black light party. And it's only gotten deeper. He said he'd wait, but I don't think he can.

It's obvious I was more than a friend to him. Scott said that I helped Derek with his Betas, and was a part of his pack for a while. I also would live at Derek's place sometimes. It's clear this man loves me. But was lovers all we were? Or was it more than that? It seems he can't breathe without me.

"Do you regret it?" I didn't know what I was saying until it was out there.

He looked confused. "What?"

"Not coming with me, to fight Tobias?"

He sighed, debating what to say. I'm sure he's wondering how I'll take whatever it is he's going to say. "No," he finally answered. And it shocked me. "Because I trust you." Present tense. Not past. He trusts me now. Like I wasn't someone else.

"What if you had known how it'd all turn out?"

"You knew what you were doing," he spoke like he was trying to convince himself of it. Then he smiled. "This is the part where you'd say something completely cliché."

"Like what?"

His eyes were remembering something. And then he looked at me. "You'd say we were lucky. Because most people don't get to fall in love with the same person twice."

I thought, hesitated, but asked anyway. "And…had I said that, what would your response have been?"

"That that was nonsense. Because I fall in love with you again every time I look at you," he replied. And, somehow, I knew that was true.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: the flashback scene is from Chapter 5: Kanima; of Guardian: Trust the Instinct (Bk 2)